When I first joined b3ta, little would I realise
that it would come to this.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Ah memories....
Like suffering the surreptitious office erections brought about by reading the smut peddled by stusut79. Those were the days.
(fannymcslap Slap my mcfanny, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:26, 7 replies)

I think I'd joined up previously, but only lurked.
The first time I remember posting anything was photoshopping a santa hat onto Saddam after he was found in a spider hole with a big white beard - that would have been mid-December 2003 and I got rightly flamed for it as every other twunt on the internet had the same idea.

Still, it can't have put me off that much as I'm still here and keep coming back for more. Man, I love b3ta. You guys are fucking great.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)

spimf™
Initially I stumbled across a QOTW story, lurked a bit then saw another story that prompted an anecdote and became hooked. Hooked for 6 years, 10 months and 11 days to be characteristically anal.

Apparently I've posted 395 stories and 1697 replies on question of the week. That’s quite a lot of pish to be talking, arguably best summed up by BGB: 'I like Spimf but he can be a bit of a knob'.

What has always amused me was the notion (mainly from the talk lot) the replies on QOTW were universally lies. Personally speaking, aside from my obvious (and dreadful) puns regarding al fresco sex with a Wall’s Cornetto or high-minded rewritings of Queen tracks - all of my tales are true, embellished a little, dramatised somewhat, but essentially true: The Blue Rinse Dragons were very real, the fence is still there. Mrs. Spimf's renowned lack of capacity for substances still stands, flamethrowers were indeed improvised, the McDonalds on Princes St, Edinburgh was very nearly closed by a bogus pissed-up health inspector flashing a blockbuster membership card 2am. Mischievous calls were made to car insurance companies to enquire if a flux capacitor on a Toyota MR2 counts as a ‘modification’, and of course that business in Dubai was all too real (which ironically benefited me in the end, if I hadn’t come via the sandpit I wouldn’t be in my current job which is the best I’ve ever had).

Ultimately QOTW also prompted me to write more in my work, I’m an art director but always enjoyed the copy side. (I rarely entered the image challenge, it seemed too much like my day job). My first radio ad was aired last month and as soon as I stop pissing around here, I’ll return to writing scripts for what will be my first major TV ad, I’m absolutely certain my inane drivel and weekly witterings on here helped me with that.

I don't wander by much these days; life just seems to have got busier (Spimflet and whatnot). But I’ll always have a soft spot for B3ta and stop by now and then to see what’s happening on QOTW. I don’t recognise many people here these days but, most of the old school B3tards seem to have resettled on Facebook (admittedly it's my new addiction, drives Mrs Spimf up the wall) but i cant resist a peek at B3ta and QOTW every now and then, it’s a bit like having a peek at old flames on Facebook of an evening when you’re a bit pished and everyone's tucked up in bed.

And I do wonder if my line breaks still have the power

to piss people off.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:09, 4 replies)

I lurked for a year or so before joining up
I think the first thing that grabbed my attention on here was this :

www2.b3ta.com/jada/
 

Never looked back really.
( finnbar has officially retired, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

tits and arseholes!
community.webshots.com/album/227386742dhYURz

..when this were all fields and Rob coded in tables...
(dominocat opinions only valid until, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Finding B3ta
A new friend at my former workplace was perusing one of the image challenges and sent me the link. That was in 2005. Since then I've contributed answers to the QotW, but nothing yet for the Image Challenge due to lack of imagintion/talent.
The phrase 'ning!' has since passed into regular use in my vocabulary much to the confusion of those who know me. Which is par for the course, really.
(sleekloon Curing Cancer one cell at a time., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I can't help but read these replies without imagining them being on some retrospective style clips show on tv with b3tans reading their responses to camera.
( Threepwood is heading back to a town called b3ta, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 7:24, 3 replies)

Thanks B3TA
In the spirit of B3TA, I'm typing this whilst being paid to"listen" to a very dull tele conference.

Thank you for all the great stories & even better ripostes.
Hope that some of my [TRUE!] tales have raised a smile..

B3TA reminds me to go out and do daft stuff occasionally.

..and Special mention to Scarpe for his take on..stuff.
Hope to see an outbreak of B3TA bashes.

Cheers,
Beatswork
(BeatsWork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 7:14, 6 replies)

i'm pretty new, signed up for a couple years or so and lurked for a few months before that.

someone linked to one of the Photoshop challenges in a thread to Internet Infidels Discussion Boards related to the "if you are on fire do not run" thread tha was funny viral for a while.

I liked both its humour and britishness (being a transplanted brit canadian i dont get enough chuckle brother memes and the like) . I used to lurk a bit and check in occasionally then the one that sealed the deal for me IIRC was the inappropriate kids books challenge, i lost my shit at that one, tea out the nose style, and decided i was here to stay in some form or another.

edit, and the hey hey 16k vid, fucking genius that one.
(Matty73, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 4:49, Reply)

4 years, 6 months and 27 days
I've been a member, and who knows how long I was around before I bothered to sign up. had a friend show me the site, and what can I say other than CDC! the image challenges and QotW have given me hours of entertainment, I don't think I have ever laughed so hard as I did when I read the shit stories QotW, speaking of that I'm just going to go read that again!
(MrPlankton, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 4:23, Reply)

The Grauniad
Did a 100 best websites thing in an end-of-year summary type thing. Nearly died laughing at the QOTW (this was one of my early favourites) and the Star Wars Xmas image challenge.

Especially this:



And here I still am.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 3:07, Reply)

i fucking love b3ta!
9 yrs ago I was sent the top 10 cutest kittens at 3 in the afternoon and played it at 3:05 - at 3:06 i was asked to explain myself! Apart from a couple of small breaks I've pretty much been here ever since - love it!
Here's to another 10 yrs!
( Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 2:51, Reply)

for anyone who's interested, here's a timeline of important events in b3ta history
12 sep 2001 - b3ta is founded as a site primarily intended to mock the victims of 9/11. this peters out quickly because people kept on talking about amigas and posting crudely manipulated images of animals instead

25th dec 2001 - shocked by the sudden drop in users posting on his site, rob "disabled-puncher" manuel storms into the bbc news studio, taking hostages and demanding to know what is going on. negotiations take over 6 hours, during which the concept of christmas explained to him. 5 people died

67th dec 2001 - rob finally decides to buy a new calendar for the website

31st may 2002 - question of the week is discovered. historians estimate it dates back some 3500 years

2nd sep 2002 - b3ta's popularity explodes after it features heavily in an episode of friends, in which chandler, having visited the site, punches rachel so hard in the stomach she throws up

16th nov 2002 - the first b3ta bash takes place. 5 people died

31st oct 2003 - several people scream all the bones out of their bodies after the scariest image ever photoshopped is uploaded to /board. the whole internet is taken down for a week in order to remove the image from every website it was posted to

?? jan 2004 - /talk is founded, intended as a place for people with anger management issues to vent their frustrations on one another

3rd aug 2004 - a mixup in rob's emailing system causes his monster truck enthusiast newsletter to be sent to the people of b3ta instead. after realising the much greater advertsing revenue potential in a b3ta newsletter, he starts doing one of those

7th mar 2005 - a /talk bash ends in infamy after the attendees beat up and attack a disabled boy, throw him down a well and watch him drown. rob approves

21st apr 2007 - rob is killed after battling the supervillain doomsday in downtown metropolis. the world's superheroes mourn his death

22nd aug 2007 - the site's new management (who were never clearly explained or introduced) create the /links board in a fit of proactiveness. 5 people died

18th feb 2008 - a deal is struck with the devil in order to resurrect rob. however, as the devil's part of this deal, /offtopic is created

22nd jul 2008 - the great fire of b3ta is caused after everyone on /board posts an image of a naked flame at the same time. the server melted, and in the days without b3ta that followed, many heavy internet users wandered outside into the summer sun and instantly dried out into mummy-like states, except with t-shirts with internet memes on them instead of bandages

2008 - 2011 nothing happened.
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 2:23, 4 replies)

Found the site while bored at work one day, searching for a decent sick joke to put on a colleague's birthday card
I stumbled on the sick jokes QOTW, and, after reading through every page, found to my delight there were a ton of other questions to read through, with plenty of anecdotes and pithy one-liners to snort quietly at. My workrate must've taken a major nosedive when I discovered this site - it no doubt fell even further when I realised there was more to the site than just QOTW. Ah, /links, you glorious timesink...

I've been a member for 4 years, 1 month and 2 days, but I know I'd definitely been lurking for at least a year before joining. One week, I noticed a question I had the perfect anecdote for, so on a whim signed up, waited until the Tuesday, then posted my story. It made it to the 'best of' page on the Thursday, and I was hooked. I spent about two years calling it 'Bee-three-tee-ay' though, before finding out what the correct pronounciation was. Now, it feels like it's always been 'Beta' to me

Haven't posted much since I started back at Uni 2 years ago - I'll still read the newsletter though, and occasionally nip on to lurk and catch up on all the QOTWs I've missed. It's comforting knowing it's still here, and that I can always return to posting QOTW stories should the degree fall through. Actually, scratch that - I can't think of anything more depressing
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 2:17, 1 reply)

FWIW, the original Furtive Bear pic
is this:



Not the original source, but deffo the original pic.
( witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 1:48, 3 replies)

HiPpO bArFdAy b3ta!
Been a member for 7 years, 10 months and 7 days...so not real oldskool, but old enough. And I did lurk for a good while before joining) Very rarely posted anything mind, as I found other places for that (largely inhabited by b3tans it has to be said), but always look in and have a chuckle (and the occasional RIS/WTF?)

And how did I find this place? IIRC, someone I knew mentioned an animation on Rathergood.com (in April 2003 I think, something involving kittens, and possibly Laibach), from whence I found this place. So it's really all Joel's fault.
( Scoff Cruddle you would, wouldn't you?, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 1:21, Reply)

I found B3ta via wikipedia of all things..
I forget what I was looking at now, but there was a link to b3ta in a wiki article. Happy days. Lurked for ages, and have still yet to post more than a few qotw responses.

What can I say, I'm a pretty boring chap.
(wuckfit Dulce et decorum est Pro patria mori., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 0:37, Reply)

Many members
Just posting sign up dates, so I'll join in: 7 years, 8 months and 5 days, not old, not young, joined b3ta after finding a mad gif years ago, lurked for about 3/4 of a year.. whatever..
( harpski, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 0:32, Reply)

I was drinking a beer at a friends house, he was surfing internet, i reading some random magazine out of boredom, he told me to come over to his computer and read a story he found online, it turned out to be Question of the week about a childhood memory from a b3ta member, about he as a kid sneaks down the stairs at night, but his dad speaking with thunder voice "this is god, go back to your room", very funny, since then ik keep frequenting b3ta !
(Ronny Ragtroll, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 0:19, Reply)

joining up
I originally joined to complain about something or other I'd seen on the site.

7 years later...
( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 0:18, Reply)

8 years and 6 months
and about 6 months lurking before that - 2 newsletters and no front pages. I am one of the oldies round here I guess now. I found the site through the animations and that's also why I was on the newsletters. Well that and rubbing margarine on my face at incredible speeds.
( SiX and his hat, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 0:05, Reply)

Don't know why
But I changed my username today. I very rarely post and can't shop so I don't know why I did it. I don't have much to say or add but nappy bumfday B3ta. You all keep me going so don't go changing.
(RainKing What do I put here then?, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 23:42, Reply)

DRAWING COCKS ON STUFF !!!!
for 6 years and 4 months!!!
( FIEND, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 23:42, 1 reply)

6 years 9 months and 16 days
I was introduced by someone who said all the viral emails started here. Thought I would see them first
Earliest memories?
-Brian Peppers
-the phrase "can you milk it?"
-Mr Dick Beatie
-teh Fluff with lazzor eyes
-"The Desperate Cockhound and Panarama"
and this...
www.b3ta.com/questions/neardeath/post18922
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 23:39, Reply)

Buffy's Sweary Keyboard
link posted to me by a friend (?) - the rest, as they say is history.
(BoredWitless, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 23:19, 2 replies)

living in aus
temping for a waste services company in sydney, other bored temp steered me to b3ta... and for the next 8 or 9 years i told loads of peeps about bee-three-ta and how funny it was. What a twunt.....fucksocks favorite swear word found on b3ta and still have not forgotten the guidelines in aus for disposing of your own asbestos.
don't all ask at once, can repeat in replies of requests number more than 1.
(mermaeve is very trying, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 23:16, Reply)