B3ta Person of the Year 2010Instead of Time person of the year, who's B3ta's and why? (Thanks to Elliot Reuben for the suggestion.)
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rob, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 10:53)
This question is now closed.
I'd like to nominate jimpowers2for posting the 'Claudia and Katie' vid on youTube*.
Where's the rest of it you bastard?
Edit: No more NSFW than that episode of Brookside with Anna Friel in.
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sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:22,
Reply)
My boss for getting into work todayHe really is an inspiration to us all. The fact he lives five minutes down the road and drives a 4x4 has nothing to do with it. I for one am looking forward to getting stranded in Slough when the cuntries infrastructure starts falling in around my ears. Worse thing is this is the first post since 11am this morning, I suspect everyone is heading home atm...Cunts.
(, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:48, 4 replies)
Sepp BlatterFor giving the World Cup to some other poor fucker.
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:00,
2 replies)
And my nomination for B3ta Person of the year 2010 goes to… *Opens Envelope*
*Dramatic Pause – maybe left a bit ‘tooo’ long in a sort of annoying, ‘Chris Tarrant’ kind of way*
…
It goes to you.
That’s right, you. Go and look in a mirror, or see if you can catch your reflection in that knife you’re holding. Yep, that’s the fucker I’m talking about.
Why? Because you made it, kiddo. Now, I don’t want to count any chickens or anything, as the year isn’t quite finished yet, but all being well and good you will cross the finish line of 2010.
That is no mean feat. Some others haven’t been so lucky. Please spare them a thought.
But you made it - despite being battered by recessions, repossessions, depressions and Beer sessions. You’re still here – and you’ve still found the time to visit B3ta. I salute you.
You raised your head out of the sloppy sea of unadulterated ubershite that passes for mainstream entertainment nowadays, and you stayed sane; choosing not to gouge your own eyes out with a spoon, and becoming better for it. Perhaps this place helped a little bit? – one of the few remaining bastions of free speech that remains? It gives you a simple opportunity to vent some of life’s crappier dealings by spaffing your unique offerings over these pages. This is something which you do selflessly, free of charge, purely for the interest of others. That is some achievement. So kudos.
2010 hasn’t been easy – no doubt sometimes fate has given you a proper kick in the love spuds (or lady equivalent), but you persevered and overall you didn’t let it get to you. That ability is often taken for granted nowadays, but the way the world can be sometimes, you deserve a medal simply for not going batshit postal. Well done.
So here’s to the small victories, the little wins, the things that might not mean fuck-diddly-all to most folk but managed to make at least one of your days just that little bit better. Fuck me, they mean the world when they happen, so enjoy them – you deserve them.
To every gentle B3tard, from the vitriolic trolls to the long-time lurkers, from the quick quippers to the ‘encyclopedia B3tannica’ posters, and from the legendary lethario, MASSIVE DRUG taking, Honda Accord drivers of Justice to the lonely, lie-filled losers…Thank you, and please don’t change, this place wouldn’t be the same without you.
Please don’t get the wrong idea - I’m not suggesting Détente here, in a sort of ‘football-in-no-man’s-land’ kind of way. Nah, that’d be as dull as Hippo poo. But how about giving someone a click for Christmas just for the hell of it? It don’t cost nuthin’ and it might make someone’s day.
And remember, learning to click yourself can be the greatest love of all.
(, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 10:30, 19 replies)
Christine O'DonnellJust when you thought Americans couldn't get any dumber than Sarah Palin... along she comes.
(, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 3:24, Reply)
The Man who did a cannonball and shat at the same timewww.youtube.com/watch?v=RuCLLCFZlt8
He Has achieved more than I could
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Gawain the oven safe flan tin willy bum fart poo, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 2:11,
3 replies)
SexFace should be b3ta person of the year 2010SexFace should be b3ta person of the year 2010
I admire SexFace hes my hero hes been to america and knows all the best chat up lines
When Ive enough money to move to london i hope him and me can spend a good night in a west end bar drinking cocktales and pulling fit birds
Dont you dare say a bad word about him or ill sue lol
(, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:17, 1 reply)
Nick CleggI nominate Nick Clegg, for not letting the removal of his spine prevent him being deputy PM.
(, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:38, 1 reply)
The staff at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary and Glasgows Golden Jubilee Hospital, for keeping me alive.If any of you lot work in either of those (especially the coronary care and high dependency units) then a big thank you and, no offence, but I hope I never have to see any of you again.
And if you work in any other hospitals I'll say thanks to you too, you do a great job and although people moan about the NHS, without really great people like yourselves it would be a fuck of a lot worse.
This will include Amorous Badger, don't go getting upset now.
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Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:36,
7 replies)
Piers Morganfor demonstrating that disability is not a barrier to becoming famous.
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wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:45,
6 replies)
Prince Charlesfor his restraint and forbearance in the face of such terrible provocation. He could easily have used his military training to disembowel a protestor then used the guts to garrotte several more.
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wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:39,
4 replies)
Bob Monkhousefor not rising from the dead and embarking on a transcontinental orgy of violence and bloodshed which would inevitably end in him destroying Japan with a giant death ray.
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wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:34,
3 replies)
Well,My dad - heart attack this year put went back to work saying, "Fucking lying in bed won't pay the bills"
Phil Taylor - never gonna win SPOTY because he plays darts on Sky but deserves it.
The bloke who after my local chinese was shut due to a failed H&S inspection said on the local radio "You should expect to get the trots after eating that stuff, it's probably dog or cat; I know I crapped through the eye of a needle"
(, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:01, 4 replies)
I vote for kittyfor putting her job on the line for internet entertainment and poledancing. Although maybe me for putting up with a pole in the lounge for so long!
(, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 17:33, 5 replies)
On second thought, I nominate Eddie Izzard (Although someone probably already has)Reasons?
1) All that marathon running business for charities this year.
2) I find him bloody hilarious.
3) Not many people can pull off the "Executive Transvestite" look like he can.
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Trogdos The Raging Cuntmuffin, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 15:17,
2 replies)
Kendo Nagasakishould be your only choice voters.
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social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 15:10,
3 replies)
I'd like to nominate the guy who poked Camilla Parker-Bowles with a stick......not only is she royalty by marriage, and so doesn't live in the real world, but more importantly she has a double-barrelled surname, which I think is retarded.
Oh, actually, what about Leslie Nielsen? A massive shame that a such comedy god died this year.
(, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 15:04, 4 replies)
I'd like to nominate Happy Phantom for tirelessly working to remind us that comedy websites should be taken seriously.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 14:54,
6 replies)
This question is now closed.