I work for a Japanese company. I have a beard. After 1 year's employment, this happens...
"We need to talk about your beard"
"Okay"
"It's erm... it's not the Japanese way"
"Okay"
"We'd like you to shave it off."
"You do know we're in the UK don't you?"
"Yes"
"And my beard isn't offensive or stopping me doing my job"
"Yes, but its not very Japanese"
"Have you seen me? I'm not Japanese, and this isn't Japan"
"But we require you to shave it off"
"Have you heard of the European Court of Human Rights?"

30 minutes later....

"You can keep the beard"

Like I needed their permission - fucking idiots. Can't wait to leave this place!
(The Moop, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 13:40, 32 replies)

The only job that requires to be clean shaved
Tends to be in the military so you can fit gas masks properly. Otherwise even they don't mind
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 13:45, closed)

Jesus Christ. Good work.
I used to work for (what was then) the DTI. My boss got me to conform to the dress code by simply taking the piss out of me. "Then Vagabond comes in, dressed in his pyjamas ... " "Oh 'ello - what have you come as today?"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 13:46, closed)

Shit.
I'd have been tempted to shave half of it off - right down the middle.

That'd really piss them off.

Idiots. Speaking Japanese is the Japanese way as well, but i bet you don't have to learn it to do the job. Or maybe you do...?
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 13:52, closed)

No, but I am required to drive a samurai sword through my chest should I ever dishonour myself. We have them fitted behind our desks in glass cabinets in case of emergency.
(The Moop, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 13:56, closed)

hahahahah

( rofl harris, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 11:03, closed)

IR INSPIRED!
1.Start an English company, set up shop in Japan, and then lean on my staff to all grow beards.

2. ?

3. Profit!
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 14:05, closed)

Similar experience
when I worked for an Indian-owned company in Bedford. The boss spent a good half a day explaining the intricate rules about who should call whom by first name, last name, Mr. lastname, Mr. firstname, Sir, Singh etc.etc.

I said, well, I'll call you all Mr. Lastname so as not to offend. "Oh no, that'd offend someone of a lower caste who you are technically above because you are a manager".

Mind boggling.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 14:07, closed)

It's fair enough though
beards are pretty offensive. ;)
( Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 14:13, closed)

Yes, if they're on a lady...
...and between the legs
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 14:41, closed)

So
you like the pre-pubescent look?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:01, closed)

Given that or the 'ZZ Top after an axe-murder' look
I'd go with the former. That said, I do appreciate that there's a lot of perfectly viable middle-ground between the two.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:49, closed)

As long as it doesn't continue down their legs
I'm happy.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 17:36, closed)

How About
If it stops at the thighs, but you can plait it?
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 15:00, closed)

This reminds me..
.. of the Black Books episode where Manny goes to work at the rival book shop, and the manager keeps making all these remarks about his hair and clothes.. I forget how it goes though..
(r0ach, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 15:18, closed)

Simon Pegg with an electric razor
Was awesome that :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 15:38, closed)

he goes back to the other one
and told to tidy up
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 15:38, closed)

...past the dead badger...

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:07, closed)

They're just jealous
'Orientals' are incapable of growing facial hair, you see.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 15:25, closed)

not true
chinese ex boyfriend could grow a beard, but wouldn't, as it inexplicably grew in ginger
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:20, closed)

Well...
I do find people with beards suspicious.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:36, closed)

we cultivate that
then before we strike you will have convinced yourself that your paranoia was based on irrational prejudice.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:46, closed)

Well;
The chin *is* the window to the soul.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 1:24, closed)

I know how you feel,
I work for a Japanese company and they asked me to have a penis reduction.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:57, closed)

Have you seen a Japanese winky? I swear to God, they're like sorry little shoelaces. There's something pathetic and quite suicidal about their appearance - as if they tried to escape the thatch of bristling black prison above them only to be shot half way through their daring absail to freedom.
(The Moop, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 17:08, closed)

blimey...
no wonder they pixilate Japanese porn, i thought it was just them being prudish. Now I realise its just shame and the Japanese way to turn things micro size.
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Thu 10 Jun 2010, 17:13, closed)

It's a common misconception
that japanese porn is pixelated, it's not. Japanese genitals are just very low resolution.
(Hippo_of_Doom, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 17:56, closed)

{giggle}
(dchurch bah, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 16:35, closed)

It probably makes you like a sex offender.
Beards generally do.
I wouldn't want my money anywhere near sex offenders.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 19:23, closed)

It makes him like a sex offender?
I was not aware that possessing a beard caused a gentleman to be attracted to sex offenders.

Is that why that David Blunkett had to resign a couple of times?
(square go, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 19:47, closed)

Yeap
They don't like beards.

walk around saying Manko a lot. Its Japanese for cunt. But you can't call someone a manko. Its just for the lady bit.

Hope that helps.
(waxdart hello., Fri 11 Jun 2010, 1:43, closed)

Hayao Miyazaki..
has a beard.
So did Toshiro Mifune.
Pretty sure they're Japanese.
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:39, closed)

The Japanese
let my grandad have a beard when he worked for them, building the Death Railway in Burma during the war. They did give some of his mates really close shaves though. Close to the shoulders, with a fucking great katana. Baby-eating cunts.
(Rsoles, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 14:49, closed)