Dan Brown
Hear me out on this before you judge me.

I was never overly into books in my teens - they were just a pain in the arse.

I then started to read Tony Hawks - Round Ireland with a Fridge and loved it. Very Funny book.

So I trawled the internet and bought his other titles and then looked for similar books too and prety much exhausted the genre.

I needed something new and that vacuum was filled by the hype over the Da Vinci Code. It was a page turner in the best sense of the word. I'd never read a 'novel' before but this was really good. Naturally, I bought Angels and Demons and equally enjoyed that too.

My Father in Law then suggested reading some Grisham. Now I love them books too.

I'm moving up the litery ladder every few months and enjoying reading more than ever.

However, had it not been for Dan Brown and his Da Vinci code, I would propbably be rading the glossy mags that come with Sunday newspapers.

And Ironically, thanks to the Da Vinci Code spurring me on to better books and increasing my tally - I can honestly say that the Da Vinci code really isn't as good as I first thought.

It a bit like watching a tv program when you were a kid that you thought was really good, but when you watch now realise its crap...
(Pat mustard, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:30, 10 replies)

I am Legend
By Richard Matheson. As is so often the case much better than the films that have been based on this and more of a short story than a novel.
Only Forward is another good novel if more than a little weird and off the wall.
My favourite as a kid however was The Borribles just because the thought of a bunch of thieving little sods going off to murder the Wombles filled me with glee.

One to avoid has got to be Interview with a vampire. The main character makes you want to shout "Stop whining for fuck sake" at the book.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:29, 3 replies)

My opinion is so incendiary that there is not fuel enough left on God's earth to create the flames I am going to create.
I can take or leave Terry Pratchett and I think Douglas Adams is alright. Sometimes I'm not really in the mood for Dickens, but I don't hate him.

What, you mean I'm so inflated with my own sense of self importance that I think my opinion on books may start a flame war when actually some people will agree with me, some won't and nobody really cares either way? Oh, I feel so foolish now.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:27, 3 replies)

Club International letters page.
That is all.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:25, 5 replies)

A warning to Bond fans -contains spoilers.
I'm a big Fleming fan and I've even collected all the books by the authors after him (Kingsly Amis wrote a good one, as did Sebastian Faulkes). I even have the John Gardners, crap as they are with the possible exception of Icebreaker.
As such, I had to buy the new Jeffrey Deaver novel. I say novel, I mean small county phone book of utter dross printed on the cheapest availble materials. The story is a dripping wet turd in a picnic hamper and about 200 pages too long for what it is. Turgid, slow, pointless and a 'twist' ending that rendered almost the whole book pointless.
Just to show how crap it is, here's a line from near the end about how the henchman was in love with his boss:
"His love for him had to remain buried, as hidden and dangerous as VS-90 land mine."
For fuck's sake...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:24, 3 replies)

I think for interesting content
and re-readability, Bill Brysons short history of nearly everything takes some beating.

I'm not a fiction fan. Hate poetry, I don't get it at all. If there's really nothing else to read, and I've already had a wank, I might look at a Michael Crichton book - timeline is fun.

Genius by James Gleik is a good one - well written Biography of a really fascinating man (Richard Feynman).

Don't have any avoids - if it's not good, I won't get past the first 10 pages.
(username failed moderation, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:23, 6 replies)

I was approached by a gentleman in the street recently, with a fantastic book.
Dianetics. Wow. Life changing stuff.
( barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:20, 5 replies)

Non fiction only
I don't know why, but in adulthood, I find my brain is just not wired for fiction anymore. I have TV and movies (and latterly games) for fiction.

I love reading, but feel I need to read stuff that fills my brain with stuff.
Almost all my reading of the past ten years or so has been either film, TV or music related.

The only fiction author I even attempt to read now is Christopher Brookmyre, who's excellent books are pretty much movies anyway.
Think Irvine Welsh by way of Jerry Bruckheimer.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:16, 9 replies)

Has anyone ever got to the end of Gravity's Rainbow?
Tried three times now and each time I've completely lost interest wading through what seems to be meaningless turgid tosh.

Is it worth reading? If so, can you post a summary of what happens, because I'm really not going to make a fourth attempt
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:14, 4 replies)

Anyone
involved in the making of the I Am Legend film must live a long life. That is filled with horrible atrocities inflicted upon them and their loved ones. I hope the secret of everlasting life is found and given to the cast and crew of that heinous bastardisation so the human race can hold candles under their childrens bare feet until the end of days.

The book is brilliant and the film is utter mecrab.
(Raol Duke, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:14, 4 replies)

qftw handbook
www.amazon.co.uk/Too-Good-True-Colossal-Legends/dp/039332088X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325776341&sr=1-2
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Get Dirty
...with a Haynes Owners Workshop Manual

Its like mechanical porn. With cut-away illustrations!
Don't forget - installation is reverse of removal.
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:06, 1 reply)

I'm wearing asbestos so - let the flames begin!
I love reading. I learned to read early - I was way past the 'Janet and John' stage before I set foot in school. All through my childhood I read avidly and, bless them, my parents didn't censor anything - if it was on the bookshelf it was fair game.
However, at my secondary school I was introduced to the works of one Mr Dickens and some women called Austen and Bronte.

I have never before or since read such overblown, over rated turgid piles of festering toss in my life. I found no redeeming features in any of the stories I was forced to read, they were all unfailingly boring, predictable and, above all, irrelevant. I made the mistake of telling my teachers my opinions. 'But, but, Dickens shows a lot about the hardships of life in his era and Bronte shows what the manners and mannerisms of her time meant to people of her class' Well, big dog's dick. So fucking what. The books are absolutely terrible and they drove me (a fucking looooong way) away from the study of English literature at school. I just couldn't face having to read any more of that interminable dross.
I still read, regularly. I like science fiction, fantasy, autobiographies - in fact I like nearly all genres. The 'classics' of English literature? You can stick 'em up your arse for all I care.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:06, 18 replies)

I'm currently in the throes of addiction.
See, I love to read. I have everything Jack Vance has published as far as I know, loads of Larry Niven, the best books from Robert McCammon (avoid his early horror stuff- he didn't really find his voice until Swan Song), loads of Asimov, have been through the entire Travis McGee series, and have the complete Sherlock Holmes... on the list goes. I had just started reading Pratchett when I got laid off and had to stop buying a couple of books a week.

Enter the Kindle.

My wife travels a lot for work, and invariably lugs along about eighty pounds of books and articles. Her father wanted to get her a birthday present, so I suggested a Kindle- she can load it with PDFs of articles and scanned chunks of books and whatnot, and cut back on the weight of her luggage. He bought her one, and I loaded a bunch of her files into it and showed her how to work it. She grudgingly agreed that it made sense, but it languished around.

Then my son spotted it. "Hey Dad, I downloaded a torrent of e-books. Want me to load them on here for you?"

"Sure, why not." I handed him the Kindle and its cord.

It now had all of Pratchett's books in it, as far as I can tell, and Sherlock Holmes and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and its sequels and loads of others that I've been wanting to read. It has 980 books on it, to be exact.

They finally had to get me my own so I would let her have hers back.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)

Oh for fuck sake.

( user_names_suck, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:01, 1 reply)

That would have to be...
Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody,
Barry Trotter and the Unecessary Sequel,
The Soddit,
Bored Of The Rings.

Apparently written by J.R.R.R.R.Toking or something like that, via the Harvard Lampoon.(not sure of those details but they are as close as memory serves)

As piss-takes of the originals they make for very good reading, even if you don't know the characters it still is a very good read.
( NooShmoo It's a fantazmagorical pile of ultra bollocks, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:55, 5 replies)

Deja Vu
Honestly, one of the best books I've ever read. I'd even go so far as saying it changed my life. I'm experiencing it right now while typing this.
( Regger, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Book book book...
..said the chicken.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:53, 2 replies)

The best book review I've encountered was Joe Scaramanga's review of American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis, which I'd bought him for his birthday one year:
"Mate - the only time I stopped reading was to wipe the cum off my chest."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Dan Brown is a Dick
Like, a proper Dick.
(maix27, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)

I refer to it again and again
Camra - the Good Beer Guide
www.camra.org.uk/gbg

Buy it from Camra, not Amazon, because the money goes to support the organisation.
(I know they are a bit old-fashioned and stuck in their ways but they are best-placed to lobby government and save British pubs)
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:50, Reply)

Less Than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis
comics aside I had gave up on reading since leaving high school. For my 21st birthday a colleague bought me Less Than Zero and plied me with the warning "someone bought me this for my 21st and it fucked with my head... really badly."
It also did with mine. really badly. It just echoed the kind of thoughts in my head (at the time) all too eerily close.
I now buy it for others who turn 21 just to keep the headfuck rolling.
Since reading that I came to my senses and devoured books as regularly as possible. I don't think I could choose the worst book Ive ever read, there has been plenty I left unfinished but that was more of me giving up due to them being above my station.
other favourites though would have to be any of the Raymond Chandler stories of Phillip Marlowe. I could read them over and over and still be amazed at the dialogue each time.
(Raol Duke, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:48, 3 replies)

Voice of the Fire by Alan Moore
Alan Moore's 1st non Graphic novel. I'm about 1/2 way through and it seems to occupy my thoughts almost continually.

It's 12 loosely linked stories spaning 6000 years all taking place in the area of Nottingham. It starts with a retarded stone age boy's story written in first person perspective. The language is quite challenging, it's Moore's idea of what language was like 4000BC addled by the protagonist confusion with reality and dreams.

After that the prose is easier to understand but no less brilliantly written and as I said sticks in my head till I have time for the next fix

Here is an online review

"None of the stories are what you would call pleasant. They deal with violence, madness, death, mutilation, betrayal, loss of faith, and other such unhappy subjects. Most of them, however, have moments of agonizing brilliance. Ultimately, the book is about the myth and magic of story. Images and events from one tale recur in later one, so that each contains echoes of the others. Finally, all the themes are loosely brought together in that last, authorial-voiced story. The whole is a work of surprising genius."

Go on read it you can thank me later ;o)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:46, 1 reply)

I don't know what my favourite book is..
There are so many to choose from: A dance to the music of time, The life of Pi, The unbearable lightness of bei...

Oh, fuck it. It's the Princess Bride.
This book is the surest cure for the blues I know. You can't stay down when you read it; your inner six-year old won't let you.

On the avoid side:

Jonathan Safran Foer. He may be clever, his books may be very inventive, but the man can't right a believable character for shit. He writes an nine year old child who's supposed to be coming to terms with losing his father on 9/11 as a neurotic New York twenty-something.

You've heard of books which really drag you into their world? Well, every time I read a book by Foer, I want to visit the world inside it, so I can methodically and meticulously punch every one of his characters right in his or her stupid face. Even the nine-year-old. Especially the nine-year-old.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:45, 1 reply)

If you're looking for some light reading....
...the sort of thing you can take on holiday and read by the poolside... I'd suggest 'Hogg' by Samuel R. Delany.

From the wiki page:

"At the time it was written, no one would publish it due to its graphic and copious descriptions of murder, homosexuality, child molestation, incest, coprophilia, coprophagia, urolagnia, anal-oral contact, necrophilia and rape."


Makes De Sade look like Roald Dahl by comparison.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:42, 5 replies)

Well I'm not going to pretend that they're high literature but the Warhammer 40K Horus Heresy novels are fucking awesome
They're like chick-lit for boys - your average chick-lit book involves a girl meeting an unsuitable chap who's rich and attractive but ultimately an arse, while at the same time realising that the poor guy from IT really does care for her and that's who she ends up with at the end. These books begin with a vastly powerful army of superhuman killing machines discovering some idyllic paradise planet, then because of some silly and completely avoidable misunderstanding, going to war with said planet and reducing it and everyone on it to radiactive rubble. These days I get sniffy if a book doesn't have a bodycount in the millions. Preferably with some hideous mutations thrown in.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Gosh I LOVE books
Anything that will scare the pants off me is my favourite kind.
I like the types with things that go bump in the night like "The Secret of Crickley Hall" by James Herbert. I'm reading The Woman in Black at the moment it's quite awesome so far, very eerie.
( Mrs Sp@m, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:40, 5 replies)

How I Stopped Reading "Infinite Jest"
I don't like leaving books unfinished; there's not many that I've not hauled my way through once begun.

But there is a small, select group of works that I could not complete. Infinite Jest is the latest title to be added to this list.

The realisation that it was an utter waste of paper came one rainy, blowy, and cold Thursday evening; I noticed that I was on page three hundred and something, and had absolutely no idea what had gone on for about the previous fifty. On checking, my puzzlement was explained. Nothing had gone on.

Something crossed my mind at that moment. I had meant to go to the bank, and forgotten. The nearest hole-in-the-wall was at my local Tesco. This wasn't far, but - as I've mentioned - it was cold, windy, and rainy outside. Not the kind of evening into which one would choose to venture. Besides: I could go to the bank in the morning.

And yet one thought was inescapable: going outside into the filthy night was vastly preferable to reading one more word of IJ.

I looked out of the window at the storm. I looked back down at the remaining 800 closely-printed pages of sophomoric prose, meandering footnotes, and achingly arch footnotes-to-footnotes. I looked back out of the window as a particularly strong gust of wind pummelled the rain - and was that hail, too? - against the pane...

... and I went to put on my coat.

And that is how I stopped reading Infinite Jest.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:38, 6 replies)

Diaspora, Permutation City, The Diamond Age and The Laundry
Diaspora is Greg Egan's best work. Proper hard SF. Not hard as in "it's got spaceships in it" but hard as in "your brains will leak out of your ears trying to comprehend the scale" hard.

Permutation City is another one by Egan with a similar kind of vertiginous feel to it.

The Diamond Age, by Neal Stephenson, has the ring of plausibility to it - not a dystopia, not a utopia, and vastly more grown-up than its better-known little brother, Snow Crash.

The Laundry novels (The Atrocity Exhibition Archives, The Jennifer Morgue, and The Fuller Memorandum) by Charlie Stross are fun romps through a world where magic is a branch of mathematics, Lovecraft worked with Turing, and where the British government's response to it is typically slipshod and underfunded.

To avoid: The Lord of the Rings. Because it's turgid, slow, dull, slow, boring, soporific and above all slow. And inexplicably overrated.

All IMHO, of course.

[Edit: Thanks to Pig Bodine for making me notice that I'd got the name of one of my fave books wrong. D'oh.]
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:37, 5 replies)

Prepares to die in a flame war:
But I really don't like The Lord Of The Rings.

I found it massively overblown and pompous. The stick up its arse had a stick up its arse. And why the festering wank is it necessary for everyone to have about 20 different names? "Fenwick, who the dwarves know as Ironfist, called by the elves Goldenballs, known in the Black Kingdom as Bent Bob, ..." Jesus Titty Fucking Christ, you need a wall-chart just to follow a conversation...

The films were pretty good, and I'm looking forward to The Hobbit. But the book needs a savage session with an editor's knife.

[edit] Hah! Cross-posted with Amish Information Systems, above! Welcome to our little hate-club.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:37, 22 replies)