The office 'everyone must have a fucking collection and birthday card / present' harridan
still thinks my birthday is on the 31st November.

Twat.
( Muns, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 16:09, 4 replies)

it's my 40th next month
i'm having a party.
that is all.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 14:30, 18 replies)

big one coming up
After nearly 25 years working for my company, my reward at the end of
November is to see my job given away, by some cunt, to some other cunt
in India. Certainly a big milestone, but not in a good way.

Cunts.
( finnbar has officially retired, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 13:57, 14 replies)

In the navy now (again)
My great grandfather like many of his generation lied about his age to join up for the first world war. Entering the Navy in 1916, he saw active service and stayed on after the war. Looking to get a civilian job he received a conditional discharge, if war broke out again before he turned forty he would be immediately conscripted.

Born in 1900, he was 39 and 6 months when the announcement came on the radio that Hitler was in Poland for the long haul. What made this all the worse was he had just finished packing the suitcases for a family holiday and was at the foot of the stairs when the announcement was made.

I try not to complain about flight delays.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 10:55, 14 replies)

Tenth anniversary of my big win at the casino
Partied with 12-year-olds at a Las Vegas bat mitzvah, then went to the casinos and won $14,600 playing '21' overnight. Lost the money right back but it was fun while it lasted. Need to attend more bat mitzvahs.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 22:45, 13 replies)

That the mods saw fit to deem this 'SFW' is a cause for celebration.
[sigh]
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 21:32, 8 replies)

News
I used to have an addiction. It used to affect my life, particularly my work as I got to the end of the week. Tomorrow I will have been clean for 10 weeks. I've managed to avoid opening the B3ta newsletter for 10 whole weeks!
(xeron, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 21:24, 1 reply)

My old b3ta account, on which I had donated to the UsVsTh3m start-up fund, had numerous "b3ta days".
These are the anniversaries of the date one signed up to b3ta.com, and are marked by one's donation icon turning into a candle (or, latterly, a number of candles equal to the number of years since one had signed up).

Then some dog-fingering cunt suspended my account. Now I don't have any more "b3ta days". I must remember to donate again with my new account, UsVsTh3m certainly looks like it needs the money.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Thu 25 Sep 2014, 21:21, 9 replies)

I've a bottle of fizzy wine on ice for the day Doctor Skagra dies in a fire.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 21:00, 11 replies)

I celebrated the 29-year, 5-month and 18-day anniversary of my birth
by getting some passport photos taken in one of those booths at the local railway station. I forgot about them in my pocket that night when I went out for a curry and when I took them out the next morning, they were slightly bent and crinkly.
( .Yeti., Thu 25 Sep 2014, 19:29, 12 replies)

I'd like to celebrate the demise of renowned internet loser and professional stalker, 'Dr Shambolic' - but I missed the action.

I guess there's only so much obsessive stalking a man can do before he's banned.

edit: I see he's back with a new account and already racked up 300+ posts.

The king is dead, long live the king!
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 19:10, 54 replies)

As a Time Lady
I have had soooo many birthdays and anniversaries that I have lost count and stopped bothering about them centuries ago.

But never mind, sweeeties! I do have a story to post, which has something sort of ish to do with the question, I could manage, all about that nasty King Ploptus and his Bum Drum.

Bet you cant wait!

LAI8GHTERZ!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 18:47, 2 replies)

Remember when the Queen had her Diamond Jubilee?
She probably had quite a nice time.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 16:43, Reply)

My favourite milestone is the one at Barrowfrod locks in Lancashire. This milestone is brilliant
because it tells me how far away Liverpool is from that point and as a special plus point it also tells me how far away Leeds is from that point. Crucially, the numbers are high enough for me not to worry about Scouse thieves or Yorkshire rapists.

My other favourite mile marker is on the M40 and tells me how far away I am from Gaydon (snigger.)
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 16:01, 10 replies)

I hope Dr Skagra dies in a fire.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 15:35, 4 replies)

12 Replies of....
"This is shite" "He's shite" "His replies are shite" "Everythings shite"

Go bother the Samaritans...
(TheManofScience, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:59, 20 replies)

Baggingfork visits Japan to use their 'special' vending machines

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:50, Reply)

I like
to celebrate fingering dogs posteriors by copying other peoples suggestions from earlier on in the day.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Fuck off Skagra
Just getting that in early
(Albert Marshmal|ow Having a lovely holiday and I can prove it, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:37, 27 replies)

I celebrated the eleventh anniversary of my membership by being banned,
but then I took an arrow to the knee.
( .Yeti., Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:31, 6 replies)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:27, 21 replies)

Good grief.
It's stories set X numbers of years after something else interesting that happened?
Why not tales of a good night's sleep acquired after heavy partying?

Have some of this:

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:26, 2 replies)

Oh man, I was just celebrating the death of QOTW
pricks
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Today is the anniversary of 1944.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Fuck Dr. Shambolic, the nonce

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:23, 8 replies)

Baggenfock has a blog on the dark web

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:23, 2 replies)

Autistic B3ta member 'MEATSNAKE'
goes on month long holidays to Thailand on his own twice a year.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:23, 2 replies)

First.
BRING BACK SHAMBO
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:22, 22 replies)