So much upset.
Why all the negativity?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 18:20, Reply)

I hope Dr Skagra dies in ringofyre

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:28, 2 replies)

The dangers of musical theatre
My school spent a lot of money on its drama department, and was rather proud of the fact. Possibly the only thing on which it spent more was sports, as befits any rabidly sports-obsessed establishment for the children of the upwardly mobile middle classes. It also so happened that it was the drama department's hundredth birthday when I was in the Lower Sixth. Something big clearly had to be done. We'd put on a four-night run of 'Oliver' the year before, and 'Oh What A Lovely War' the year before that, so in the spirit of doing something that was similar to what we'd done before but was also different, the decision was made to stage 'Annie Get Your Gun' for the big 100. Scores were ordered, rehearsals were arranged, costumes were sewn and sets were built. The teachers even went into overdrive with the choreography and had the soloists weave in and out of the decor from back to front of stage and back again.

The production was a big success, and we found out just how big the following week: unbeknownst to us, the headmaster of a school in Birmingham had been in the audience, having been invited by our headmaster at the previous headmasters' conference, and was so impressed that he decided to invite us to perform at his school. Not only that, he was going to PAY us to go to Birmingham and perform. Such a heady taste of stardom could clearly not be passed up, and encouraging noises about inviting their drama department down to perform for us next year were made (along with a lot of budget-related head-scratching).

The cheque arrived in the post and we commissioned the materials for some proper set-building. Hired a coach, trundled off to Brum and were given an extensive tour of the premises, including the assembly hall in which we were to perform. The stage had roughly the same configuration as ours, except it was a bit higher up as the hall seating was in rows rather than all flat, and you had to take a little staircase on either side to get onto it.

The big night was upon us. The sets were in place, we were suited and booted and made up in the wings, and the customary hum of lighting and polite conversation was making the hall vibrate. The curtain rose to a full house, crowned by the local PTA's finest. We went through the well-oiled motions of our performance and everything went swimmingly, dahling. Then it was time for 'Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better'.

Back home, this duet had Frank Butler dancing around Annie Oakley all over the stage as he gets carried away in his fit of self-aggrandisement, including dashing to the front of the stage and flinging his arms wide to the audience. It was at this point that the lad playing Frank Butler realised that the Birmingham school's stage was about a foot shorter than our one, and as he raced towards the audience, he plummeted off the stage and into the orchestra pit. Landing on the lead bassoonist's music stand, which speared him in the testicles. Screeches, panicked rushing around, epic muttering, calls to emergency services, etc....no-one had the heart to put the understudy on that night and the rest of the performance was hastily called off.

After a longish wait at Selly Oaks, the lad in question was diagnosed with testicular bruising and kept in overnight for observation. He came to the performance the next night to watch his understudy shine; the thought of squeezing back into his tailored costume while his balls were swollen to the size of oranges apparently didn't appeal to him. I don't think anyone in the drama department could have expected that its hundredth year of existence would have been marked by Selly patients, Annie bursaries and male stones.
( .Yeti., Tue 30 Sep 2014, 14:06, 15 replies)

ok, how about this to win:
b3ta.com/questions/celebrations/post2380048

And then we can all get on with our shit.
( rofl harris, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 13:27, 8 replies)

i am upset

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 13:25, 29 replies)

I will celebrate every week they keep this question going
as it's chock full of long weepy threads of the finest calibre.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 13:03, 2 replies)

I like to enjoy a celebratory cuppa every time I learn a new fact about reggae.

( .Yeti., Tue 30 Sep 2014, 11:03, 16 replies)

Sadly, hardcore passed away last night at about 23:39
due to natural causes.
( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 8:45, 18 replies)

HARDCORE WILL NEVER DIE!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 20:13, 8 replies)

I hope that Dr.Skagra drives a Ford
Trandis
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 20:00, Reply)

I just had one of the tiny little Galaxy caramel bars.
Ironically it was for no sentimental reason at all.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 19:59, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/celebrations/post2378222
(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 19:59, 87 replies)

I hope Dr Skagra latest post results in some kind of paradox
Where by he has already been killed in a fire.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 19:37, 8 replies)

Hi, I'm Ford Timelord
I'm a car, and I've just died in a crushing machine
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 19:30, 2 replies)

I hope all the doctors are killed. horribly, by drowning in fire.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 19:22, 2 replies)

I hope Doctor Skagra dies in a fjord
Wait a minute - I AM Doctor Skagra!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 19:07, 3 replies)

I hope Dr Skagra is asphyxiated by an alfalfa felafel.
May he choke on chickpeas until they can't find a pulse.
( .Yeti., Mon 29 Sep 2014, 18:53, Reply)

I hope Dr Skagra dies in Adam Afriyie
where by "dies" I mean a "petite mort". Though I suspect he might quite enjoy it.
(Guy Debord cette mauvaise réputation..., Mon 29 Sep 2014, 18:35, Reply)

It's a little late, but the Batalanche was just over a year ago.
b3ta.com/board/11004730

The last great hurrah of /board before it died.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 29 Sep 2014, 18:14, 4 replies)

I hope Skagra dies in Afaya
minezwiki.net/wiki/Afaya
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 18:00, 1 reply)

I hope Arthur Scargill dies in a fire.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 17:49, 2 replies)

I celebrated getting out of bed with a cup of tea.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 16:12, 10 replies)

i actually have quite a bit to celebrate just now
not just my upcoming birthday, but my successful surgery and the confirmation that the other surgeries i need should be done by christmas. after that, i should be able to celebrate finally getting declared fit to get a job!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 15:53, 9 replies)

I hope Dr Skarga fires in a die

(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 15:42, 9 replies)

This weeks question:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=roRQ2mNwMMQ
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)

For me, this is quite a week for milestones
Five years ago tomorrow, I moved into a three-storey house in Crouch End that I was renting with the missus and some of our friends. Tomorrow, me and the missus are moving out into our own two-bedroom flat in Muswell Hill. It's like the end of one great adventure and the start of another.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 14:19, 40 replies)

Easy
In two days time, I've been here for ten years... And what good years they've been.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 12:52, 2 replies)