Whilst on Holday in Ibiza a few years back
I met this girl. One day we were sitting round the hotel pool writing postcards and we discovered that we were both writing a postcard to same person.
(zoinks, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 17:14, Reply)

I was planning to go to the theatre
with a friend of mine one evening, but we hadn't decided on what to see so hadn't booked anything. We had talked about the show at the Arcola, but I was thinking it was a bit of a trek from where I was (I work in a theatre box office in central london) so I wasn't as keen on the idea. Then someone in my office mentioned there were comps going for previews of Auntie and Me, a show starring Alan Davies that was pre-press night in the West End. I double checked with my friend and that was fine, so I confirmed I'd like the comps. Later on, just before the play, I bumped into my sister's boyfriend in the foyer of the theatre. He'd never been to the theatre before, and him and my sister had been offered comps too (he works in insurance, it was quite widely papered during the previews). How odd I thought, said hello to my sister, and then me and my friend made our way to our seats.
We were not only sat on the same row as my sister, but one seat apart.
Spoooky.
( brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 17:12, Reply)

My old man..
Was once in the army, when hitting civvy st he started work as a motorcycle courier. On one drop he got chatting to a receptionist and mentioned that he had been in the army. she pipes up with how her brother was in the army too and did my old man know him. He did, they were stationed together in Germany.

Not so much spooky, more like a 'oh, well there you go' sort of coincidence. Although I wouldnt mind winning a bet on those odds.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 17:11, Reply)

Whilst working in a hotel in NZ
middle of nowhere (really it was, 2 hours drive from anywhere else), i was waiting on a table of people who, after a long conversation, revealed where they live... 4 houses along from my house in the UK!! I'd never met them before due to us being a bunch of anti-social bastards!
( Victor Meldrew, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 17:08, Reply)

Spoooky Ruler....
Just started at Uni 200 miles from home and (as ever) there was just a single 'piece of ass' worth chasing on my course. I sidled over and began a fairly lame chat-up and exchange of names and places. Turned out the lady in question was from the other side of my county about 40 miles away but... horror of horrors.... had a boyfriend in the sixth form in the school I'd just left. 'What's his name?' I asked? Reluctantly she told me. Not only was he the other lock in the school second XV with me but I brought over my pencil case and pulled out a ruler WITH HIS FUCKING NAME ON!! Spoooky huh? This sent her totally blithery. In case you're wondering, I nearly managed it with her, only a bunch of cunts were banging on the locked door of my room, jeering and cheering so I jumped out of bed bollock naked to grab one to thump, trod on a fucking wineglass, practically cut my toe off and ended up in hospital. Ah! A_____, 25 years on I think about you every time that toe gives me gip, but it was never meant to be.... Drop me a line love!
(Roger Darce sold his birthright for a mess of pottage, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:52, Reply)

Ears burning
I was on the internet whilst listening to music and casually chanced upon this post "I was listening to the Smiths and I suddenly realised that I knew how Joan of Arc felt" when without warning, my Walkman started to melt.

Lazy I know but this is my first post.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:52, Reply)

I have an online friend who lives in Pennsylvania.
I don't get to talk to her very often these days, so might not be able to get hold of her to ask if she's okay with me putting her name to this before the qotw is out. So I'll call her Margaret.

This is a transcript from an MSN conversation between Margaret and our mutual online friends Gustavo and Pierre (not their real names either). It took place on the 11th of September, 2001, just after midnight on UK time.


Margaret: I GO TO SCHOOL WITH PEOPLE FROM NEW YORK
Margaret: IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE
Margaret: NYC people are the meanest, most ignorant people on Earth.
Margaret: If New York exploded, I would not care.
Gustavo: Ah...
Gustavo: That's worse then my local school, then...
Margaret: Nor would any of my fellow locals.
Pierre: Sort of like, meteorites would be an improvement, yeah?
Margaret: Indeed.
Gustavo: Thing is, if a metor hit NYC, then the rest of the earth would go with it.
Pierre: I'll see what I can do...
Margaret: yeah
Pierre: depends on the size of the meteorite
Margaret: unfortunately I'm within an hour radius
Gustavo: Maybe if the Meteor was just the right size...
Pierre: well, you'd probably hear a bang...
Gustavo says: BOOM!
Pierre: about the size of a car
Gustavo: Yeah.

And we all know what happened next. Don't piss Margaret off!
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:49, Reply)

Car-incidence
Friend of my mum's, called Cassie (so not me, but it's such a freakishly coincidental coincidence it quite frankly terrifies me)

Long ago, before the time of mobiles, my mum's friend's car broke down mid-journey leaving her to walk the rest of the way to work.

Walking past a phone box in an area she'd never walked through before, the phone rang. Though it was unlike her to answer it, she did anyway.

"Cassie! You're late for work - is everything OK?" Panics her boss.

Cassie was suitably freaked out. Turns out that her boss had looked at her (paper, back then) employee file, and dialled what she thought was her home phone number.

But it wasn't her home phone number. It was her employee number. The exact same number as the one for the telephone box she happened to walk past at that specific time - having never done so before or since!
(Northern Lovely, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:40, Reply)

When I was 16 I was standing at a set of traffic lights waiting to cross...
When the Green man showed a car shot around the corner and past me at high speed, thinking that I had just escaped a close call, I continued to cross the road....only to be hit by a Police CID car chasing the previous car.

Anyways, I woke up went to hospital etc etc while the kind and very apologetic plain clothes police called my parents. They got my Dad, who upon hearing the news went white and nearly collapsed.

I thought he was just really upset I had been hit...he was...it was also because his sister had been killed by a vehicle accident many decades before on the same date, at the same time, at the same age, more or less in the same place and they got the phone call from the police around the same time of the day as well.

I was well freaked out.
( Bamboo Steamer, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:33, Reply)

someone told me
that I was an enormous cock who only ever listens to the bits I want to hear.

This person has never seen my cock - SO HOW DID THEY KNOW IT WAS ENORMOUS?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:32, Reply)

Bear with me....
I talking my sleep: I find this out because in the morning someone usually points it out, and asks what the hell I was on about.

Most of ramblings that people hear appear to be Me trying to explain something blindingly simple to a person who simply fails to grasp the stunningly obvious point. Sometimes I get frustrated enough to raise my voice - waking the one next to me - who then tries to understand what I'm whittering about, and compounds the problem by asking silly questions..

************************

This story has nothing to do with that: This is about one of the more rare occasions where I sit bolt upright, make a daft statement and lie down again: Fast alseep and blissfully unaware of my outbursts.

While my Then GF and I were visiting my parents and my brother, the three "lads" in the family go to do some "Man" shopping. Me, Brother and Dad go out to get stuff with which to Attack my brother's garden. It was massively overgrown (he an his wife had just bought it) and we were aiming to fell 2 trees and use the resultant wood as fire-wood.

The mission was to get a decent chainsaw... Brother and I homed in on the tasty looking toys, while dad potterd off muttering something about a nice "surprise"

We spent much time finding a good machine, toddled to the checkout, parted with entirely too much money, and surmised that Dad had already left, or would do soon. either way we'd meet him by the car.

On the way through the carpark, I took the oppertunity to tell Big Bro the wierd thing that I'd said the night before.
I'm an absloute Atheist, so both my brother and I found it amusing that I'd sat up in bed, and woken the Then MsHumpty by saying clearly, carefully and loudly: "I know what the lord wants us to do Dad. He wants us to kill them. He wants us to kill them all."

Pondering the meaning and cause of this utterance, we walked towards our car and past a small group of traffic wardens - one of whom was putting a parking ticket on a car.

"Bastards" Said my brother.. "You were probably dreaming about Traffic wardens" and then under his breath he said "Maybe it's them that God wants us to kill" We giggled for a fraction of a second, then noticed our dad cheerily stood next to his car holding out the "surprises" that he'd just bought: A large "Splitting Axe" and a Broad-bladed Felling Axe.

"Here you go lads.. If you're going to enjoy doing the job properly, You'll be wanting to use these"
.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:32, Reply)

at a party
I was doing a bad impersonation of John Lennon, while being an obnoxious drunken arse and arguing with my brother, when someone started playing Oasis!
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:29, Reply)

Fancy seeing you here...
Way back when I wasn’t repulsive to the opposite sex, I had a jolly nice boyfriend who I met at uni. His family were from one end of the country, mine from t’other. And his family were well off, catholic and a little uptight. But very friendly and welcoming all the same.

After a couple of years of going out with him, my mum and I were invited to his traditional family Xmas get together, where all the branches of the extended family in the country would descend on one household for a good old fashioned knees up. We drove down to his parent’s place, anticipating a really fun do.

Approaching the (enormous) house, my mum looks slightly apprehensive and says to me “they’re quite posh, aren’t they?” I reassured her that, yes they were, but as long as we didn’t get on to any taboo topics of conversation (such as abortion, divorce, the fact I was sleeping with their son) that it would be fine.

We wander up the driveway and I’m about to ring the bell when the door swings open and I hear my mother utter the words “Jesus Christ!”. Loudly. Which is a GREAT start. I turned to give her a “shut the fuck up” look and see that she’s staring at the woman who’s standing at the door, who she clearly recognises. Which is odd, as I’ve never seen her before in my life. The woman is looking back with equal horror.
“Hi, I’m Dave’s girlfriend, Rakky, “ I interjected, “Can we come in?”
“Sure,” says the woman at the door, nervously. As we go in, a bloke walks through from the kitchen to the living room, catches sight of my mum and stops dead. At which point I grab my mother firmly by the elbow and drag her into the downstairs cloakroom.

“What the fuck is going on? How do you know these people?” I shouted...

Turns out a few years back this couple had been having “family and relationship issues” and had gone to MY MOTHER (who is a psychologist) for therapy. During which time they’d had to go into some fairly juicy detail about their family dynamics and interpersonal relationships.

“Is this true?” I asked her.

She nodded.

So by pure chance, my mother knew the intimate details of my boyfriend’s aunty and uncle’s relationship 7 years before I’d met him in a random flat though a friend of a friend at a university 250 odd miles from where either of us lived.

Spoooky? Nah. Coincidence? Surely. Embarrassing conversations over the quiche later that day.? You betcha.

If there’d been any length, they wouldn’t have needed counselling.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:28, Reply)

my mate stocky...
went out on the lash on a tuesday night, passed out in the street and had his wallet and phone nicked. he then wandered off down to the station for a sit down and a think. two blokes wandered past and offered to help him out (brighton being a friendly place), so they helped him phone up and cancel his cards and his phone and stuff and then walked him home.

as he's not one to see a favour go unrewarded he invited them to the party he was having at his house the next day. we were stood in the garden listening to the story when the blokes in question arrived, and one of them turned out to be a lad I'd worked with in an office in sheffield about 5 years previously. for some reason this didn't throw me and I managed a cheery "hello toby!" while he just stood there pointing and going "you...how...what?"

:)

joyous.
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:27, Reply)

I was sat there with baited breath..
Waiting to see what the new QOTW was.
I said to my self "Wouldn't it be a coincidence if the QOTW is about coincidence?"

Spoooky?

Unfortunately, the only problem with short, smart-arsed answers like these is that you can't post the obligatory "Length" joke... pah..
( Popidge Last ate a kebab on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:24, Reply)

I was dragged to a presentation by the Skeptics Society
by my friend. It was about how premonitions of death mostly don't come true.

Well, that night I dreamed I was standing in a desert with my brother. He was screaming, and yet I couldn't hear any sound. I tried to reach out to him, and I couldn't move.

That morning I woke up - to find that he had completely failed to die in the night!

EXPLAIN THAT COINCIDENCE, SKEPTICS!
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:24, Reply)

First time I met the current Mr Quar
he showed me a painting. He'd commissioned a mate to paint four scenes, each with a different supernatural theme, and one stood out.

It was of a girl sitting at a table by candlelight doing a Tarot spread. The painting was the dead spit of my elder daughter, who was well into the Tarot and other spooky stuff.

I was so amazed that I showed it to my other daughter , who said right away, 'Why has this man got a picture of ***** in his house?'

Neither the future Mr Quar or his artistic friend knew any of us at the time, and the picture resembled only the older, spookier daughter.

We still have the picture, despite *****'s best efforts to scrounge it.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:22, Reply)

I was reading Viz and having a good laugh

some time later, I looked at b3ta...

to find EXACTLY THE SAME JOKES!!!!
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:19, Reply)

Groundhog day????
About 8 years ago got woken up by my radio alarm clock for work to the tune of 'Wooden Heart' by Elvis....Didn't have to get up so put it on snooze for 10 mins...10 mins went past and woken again by THE SAME TUNE!!!!...A bit weird but pressed snooze again for another 10 mins kip (i'm a lazy barsteward)...Woken up again 10 mins later by Elvis' Wopoden Heart AGAIN!!! This time stay up and get ready for work not too sure of what has just happened..Radio is working fine playing all sorts of different songs...Strange and a bit of a coincidence/ weird thing....
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:16, Reply)

See-er?
When my mother and my uncle were still kids, my Nana had a dream about standing in water (which aparently isn't good in dreams).
She looked around and saw her father, my great grandfather, sinking and drowning right infront of her.

Next day he was playing with my mum and uncle when he suddenly dropped dead. True story
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:15, Reply)

My family
We have a lot of spoooky (I spelt it right) coincidences in our family. Myself, my mum and my two siblings: one of the female persuasion and one silly boy are always 'feeling' each other's stuff. Hang on, that sounds rudey.
If I have a headache, so do the other three. My brother broke his foot, I was in agony and limping. My Mam had an eye operation, both me and my sister spent an entire day with our right eye weeping.
Now that's spoooky.
What's even weirder: I live in Spainland, my brother is in Bristol, my mother in Sheffield and my sister in Aberdeen.
*Shudder*
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:09, Reply)

Well I never!
I was at the sorting office this morning collecting the post for work and the women in front of me was the ex bosses wifes best friend.

WOOOOOOO !!!!!!
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 16:02, Reply)

Singapore
A friend of mine decided to take a year out from the UK and travel East-Asia. During one trip, he was walking down a quiet back street in Singapore in the early hours of the morning, when he bumped into his ex fiance who didn't know he was there and decided to try Asia for a month.
The even spookier thing was a week previously, she'd bumped into her other ex-fiance, also in Singapore...
( Weetobix, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:57, Reply)

ARGGH...THE RING!
I was once on MSN messenger in my school years chatting away to one of my mates about that film "The Ring"...about how fukcing scary it is, when start to feel quite uneasy. "BRB" I typed. I was on my own in the house so I get up to turn the light on as only the little lamp is on at the moment. *click*... as soon as I switched the light on everything goes off! Lights/computer/TV...OFF! I fukcing shat myself, i'm always spooking myself out anyway and am a wuss so I jumped behind the sofa, curled into a ball and closed my eyes. Parents were out on the raz so I was there foe about 2 hours before they came back... oh how they laughed...
(amy_metc4lf, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:56, Reply)

I was listening to the Smiths
and I suddenly realised that I knew how Joan of Arc felt.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:54, Reply)

well
legless may be joking, but this is perfectly true.

my dad's cousin was a bit Odd. so much so that he bought his own plot in a graveyard up in yorkshire, where he had grown up as a child, not in london where he had lived since the end of the war.

he ordered his own headstone, v plain. no "in loving memory" or anything, just his name and dates. only missing the date of death, obviously.

the very next time he went up to yorkshire, he went up to the graveyard to put some flowers on his mother's grave...

AND WALKED RIGHT PAST HIS OWN HEADSTONE!!! how many people can say that?!

he died a couple of years later, and his exact instructions to his solicitor were "take me up there and chuck me in t'soil. no family, no funeral." so my aunt and a cousin were walking past the plot and they noted the grave had now been dug.

10 mins later, on their return, they both screamed - there the coffin was, indeed, just "chucked in t'soil" ! but of all the spooky timing.

the headstone still has no date of death.......
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:52, Reply)

Bizarre (probably)
Some years ago I worked part-time at Nottingham's best sleaze hole meat market, Rock City. One night the manager, who knew I was responsible (fool), asked me to drive his expensive car to Leicester to collect some microphones for a gig.

I duly drove the 20 miles or so and then got lost in the industrial estate where the hire company was. So, doubling back, I found a 'phone box. Those are things people used before mobile telephones. I scrabbled around for the piece of paper with the hire company number and then looked up to see another number in 6" high black marker pen on the wall of the 'phone box. What number was it? Rock City's.

I then crashed the 20k car on the way back. tee hee.

Not too big.
(hobnails on yer nuts, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:49, Reply)

Graveyards
Not a coincidence, but spooky nonetheless.

I don't believe in ghosties, ghoulies or things that go bump in the night so one fine night I was taking a shortcut through the graveyard when I heard this noise:

"Chink! clink!"

Curious now as what could be causing it I headed towards the sound.

"Chink!clink!"

And it was getting colder and colder....

"Chink!clink!"

And, even though I don't believe in ghosts I was starting to get quite scared.

"Chink! clink!"

And then I turned a corner and saw a little old man, obviously a stonemason, chisel in hand working on a gravestone. Relief washed over me.

"What the hell are you doing in the graveyard in the middle of the night? I said - "You scared the shit out of me..."

Little old man looked up and me and hissed:

"They spelt my name wrong......."

Cheers

Note: For the pedants in here, it's a joke. It didn't happen.... :)
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:44, Reply)

I saw
a penny
and picked it up

ALL DAY, I had good luck
(Jugular, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:42, Reply)

This was spooky...
During the Irish potato famine I decided to do my bit to help. I travelled to Holland to take advantage of their problem with rabbits. The plan was to shoot a whole fuck load of rabbits and send them back to the starving mick. I thought I would be the only person to come up with the idea, but imagine my surprise when, upon boarding the Amsterdam zeppelin, there was a whole crowd of people all stood around dressed in the same red pac-a-mac, nylon grey trousers, clutching a gat gun and a book by Rudyard Kipling called "How to catch rabbits with a gat gun in Holland and post them back to the starving mick all on your own".
Needless to say, we all saw the funny side and didn't bother going because we all realised it was only the mic
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 8 Feb 2007, 15:41, Reply)