Watching Jeremy Kyle
and NOT thinking 'who the f*ck let these people breed?'
( BadBadman saw an incorrect comma placement on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:32, 2 replies)

Hadouken
What the fuck ARE you singing about, you mockney twat?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:31, Reply)

Continuing on a theme
Nevermind, as apparently I offended some with this one. I was ranting about a particular type of poseur we get here in Richmond, and apparently it didn't translate well.

EDIT: see this for clarification. Sorry for the confusion.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:30, 5 replies)

People who..
obsess about showing their wealth.

I know several people who are into ostentatious shows of wealth.

E.g. multiple cars for two people, booking a £100 a head restaurant for your birthday dinner rather than all meeting up somewhere and having a laugh, or boasting that your shirt cost the best part of £300.
(Ok, I'll get me coat, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:29, 1 reply)

Well tomorrow I have to get a bus
A bus FFS.
There is a reason I have a car.
(crashed it though so it's in the garage)

I will have plenty of commons then.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:28, 1 reply)

Personalised number plates
Common. But that's just my opinion.
(woohoo, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:28, 3 replies)

People who wear stuff by fcuk
It was mildly funny the first time I saw it. It stopped being funny 1 second later.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:25, 1 reply)

A bit of a long one
People who buy/borrow books about child abuse. I can tell you from my library days that 99 times out of 100, only chavs would ask for them - usually chavs with several hundredkids of their own. Why the hell the ONE thing chavs seem to read are books about child abuse I don't know. I mean there's a million different reasons probably. But yes, if you own a book called Lost, Abandoned, Ugly, Meanie, Kiddierape, No More Rainbows, or anything like that, you're a commoner and you should be set on fire.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:23, 4 replies)

Women who drink pints
I mean, the average man can only produce 5cc at a go, so they must really be getting around.
(rogerzilla, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:22, 1 reply)

People who believe or maintain the stereotype of the North/South divide in England
who gives a fuck if it's /skon/ or /skoan/ for scone, or barth and bAth, or southern fairies and northern monkeys. At least we're not French, and that's all that matters.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:21, 6 replies)

Complete strangers who call you "mate"
I'm not your fucking mate. I dress, act and carry myself in such a way that it should repel the kinds of people who would call me "mate". So by calling me mate you are destroying all my hard work.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:19, Reply)

Letters
People who say "haych" instead of "aych".
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:18, 3 replies)

Calling BMWs
Beemers...
(Ok, I'll get me coat, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:17, Reply)

Emos and Indie Kids!
Take that, you "nonconformist" shits!
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:16, 3 replies)

Not me, but a friend
(honest) wasn't allowed to watch ITV as a child.

Presumably her parents are unlikely to subscribe to Sky these days.
(rockdoctor, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:15, 3 replies)

common people!
Massive gold jewellery - especially massive hoop earrings and those really horrible necklaces, you know the ones with the massive gold clowns with the movable limbs. Also jewellery with things like "best mom" or "sister" written on them. And sovereigns I hate them to. Look in any cash converter window and I can guarantee see the whole range of cheap and nasty massive jewellery.

Chavs playing music on buses - why is it that I’m wearing headphones and I can still you playing really shit music on your tinny little phone speakers. Do you really think everyone on the bus/train wants to listen to n-dubz or whatever crap it is you think is cool.

People who call me “bab”

There’s loads of things this is just the tip of the iceberg!
(ms.twister, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:14, Reply)

Whenever I introduce me now-toddler daughter to someone
and they ask what her name is, I say "Nell"
and they always reply "Awwww, that's a nice name."
and I always say "Well to be honest, someone else had already beaten us to Tracey."

And from their reaction right then I can normally tell if that person has a sense of humour or is common as fuck.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:10, 2 replies)

Nucular
Say it with me.

"New."

"Clear."

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Fucking presidents.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:09, 5 replies)

I used to work in an opticians in Essex.
I think the most common thing I ever was the woman who, when booking her children in for eye tests, checked her tattoos for their dates of birth.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:08, 3 replies)

I'm common. Apparently*.
This is because, despite otherwise speaking nearly received pronunciation, my Westcountry roots betray me to my university peers. Specifically, the following words: bath, grass, path and glass. You can actually see the snorts of derision forming as the words leave your larynx.

Of course they fail to realise that they are studying in Bristol, possibly the only place where the locals sound more Cornish than, well, the Cornish.

Bastards, coming over here, pronouncing our words correctly.

*Jokes on them, I'm actually an elitist little tosser.
(Metalfish Hasn't had a sig since, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:08, 3 replies)

Chewing Gum
What is your problem? Do you need to keep your mouth moving to stop your brain becoming active?

Sorry but even though I say it I think that "front room" is a bit common. It implies that one only has two rooms downstairs. I prefer 'living room'.

Creole Earrings.


Sorry (prepares for flaming) Drunk women.


*edit* I have a personalised numberplate. Does that make me common?


I'm off to think of more.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:04, 3 replies)

what exactly is working class?
is it just purely people on the dole-type of people, or does it include other.

My mum is a nurse, my dad was an travel agent, am i working class or middle class?
(papa bouba slap your face, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:02, 4 replies)

People with hyphenated surnames
It means that:

a) Your parents are trying to sound posh, and TRYING to sound posh is common, or

b) They have commitment issues, and are probably sluts.

*EDIT* Ok, ok, European/American hyphenated surnames.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:02, 4 replies)

Although not posh, I am not common either..
but I was bought up by my Mother to refer to certains items by their "proper" names, so I often use the words cutlery, cruet, condiments etc. Though this is just to annoy others around me who I mock for being common.

However the worst is that I pronounce (pronounced correctly of course) the word "fancy" as "farncy" for no apparent reason. I sound like a posh gay twat when I say it, yet I can't seem to say it any other way.
(Laxly, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:01, Reply)

People who say "grarss" and "barth" and the like.
The word is "grass". How many "r"s do you see? One? Correct. One letter "r". Where is it? After the "g", before the "a". Is there an "r" *after* the "a"? No, there is not.

SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU INSIST ON PUTTING ONE IN?

Bloody peasant, learn to speak English. Oh, and once you've done that, learn to speak at least one other European language. I bloody hate listening to you shouting very slowly at foreign tourists.
(gordonjcp, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 17:58, 11 replies)

Is this actually someone's dissertation subject?
If I were studying some pointless subject, say sociology, at a former polytechnic (see what I did there?), then this QOTW would be an absolutely perfect way of getting a shit load of raw data from thousands of people.

I mean, apart from stories about drinking, I can think of nothing that will send a load of Brits (due respect to our overseas readers) into an absolute frenzy of indignant posting more than a QOTW concerning what is essentially the Great British Class System.
Brilliant.

*Goes off to have his tea on the settee in front of the telly*
(rockdoctor, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 17:50, Reply)