Common? Me?
I once won a spitting contest.

Length? By a couple of inches.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:48, 1 reply)

Oasis
Oasis are dreadful. Uninspired, coarse and boring. The fact that a band can perform what are essentially poor Beatles imitations for over ten years without refining their style and still being respected confuses me immensely. Their music is so average but because of their background they are 'honest'.

And the Gallagher brothers! The fact that they've devised a few 5-chord (at most) cliched 'anthems' means they think they are the bottom line in musical criticism apparently!?

PAH!
(Oben, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:48, Reply)

ers
watching ITV as opposed to the Beeb. I blame my parents for that one.
Wearing an england football top on holiday, or any football shirt for that matter. If they are english, or scottish or irish. Everyone else manages to pull it off.
FCUK stuff. Its not funny any more guys!
(morningtoncrescent, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:48, 1 reply)

Also, everyone here needs to read this book:
Watching the English by Kate Fox.

Has some very good insights about English society's class structure. One important one being that it's not really about money at all (so in defense of this QOTW, it's is not a matter of "hahaha they're poorer than me").

And, as per Kate Fox, "lavatory" is quite possibly more common than "toilet". Or at least, it's pretentiously middle class. The *truly* upper-class call it the "loo".
(julius, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:38, 3 replies)

Here's a (possibly) controversial one.
BMWs.

A sub-type of common really - more nouveau riche. And not completely exclusively common, I suppose.
(julius, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:33, 6 replies)

Arrrrgh!
"I'm going toilet.", or if you want the authentic version "I'm gaaawwing taaailat."

Phrase most often heard being said by Londoners. Common Londoners at that. I have no qualms with our cockneys and their brethren, given that half my family come from there. I just fucking hate that phrase. It makes no sense to anyone who has been vaguely trained in the use of the English language. It makes me die a little inside whenever I hear it, and I hear it a lot. (Fucking mental housemate of mine comes from London, says that all the time, and also never stops cleaning the house. Are the two linked, does anyone know?)

Oh, and most fashion stuff. I want to see people with some variety of clothing instead of everyone wearing the same fucking Ugg boots, same shitty jacket and top and scarf and same fucking jeans that don't cover tattoos, thongs, flesh, or indeed, anything at all.

And lastly, though this isn't really a dig at people being common, this is more a general rant, women who sleep with everyone and then wonder why they can't get a man to support them and love them in their mid-thirties. I'm sorry, if you hadn't used yourself as a sex object from 17 to 29 and then felt the biological clock kick in, maybe you would have had a better chance. Instead, you decided to whore yourself out, and you have no-one to blame but yourself for your own fucking predicament. Don't come crying to me that you can't get a man who respects you, because you don't fucking respect yourself at all. Common slapper that you are. (Wahey, tied it back in!)

(Oddly enough, I'm A), a man, and B) 21 years old very soon, so that last rant may have been a bit unusual)

Edit: Woo, controversial post. Sorry if anyone thinks I'm referring to them directly. I'm really not.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:28, 20 replies)

Think I might have a few of these....
...a few for starters

1) Double Negatives

2) Young Children wearing jewellery

3) People who call tomato ketchup 'red sauce'

4) Cars with '........ on Board'. Well done (!?) for procreating/ your children procreating/ having a child with ADHD.

Actually saw a car with 'Minger on board' not even a hint of irony on seeing the driver!
(DangerFlange Chamone Mother Hubbard, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:27, 6 replies)

Sandwiches
According to my wife, cutting the bread diagonally is 'nice' and rectangular is 'common'
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:23, Reply)

Common?
Razzle and Escort.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:16, 1 reply)

Ok, now I feel bad for ranting
Not all common stuff is automatically bad. When someone hands you their parking ticket because there's time left on it. When someone falls over in the street and people will run over from all around to check they're ok. People who offer their bus seat to a little old lady. That one person who, on your first day at work, will go out of their way to say hi and have a chat with you when you feel like a lonely, conspicuous twat. The kid who befriends the other kid who gets bullied. The person who helps you lug your buggy up 4 flights of stairs.

These are the types of things that actually help me see the point in getting out of bed in the morning.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:16, 4 replies)

My son in law
Reads - looks at the pictures - in the Sun, is sprinkled with hideous cheap tattoos, farts and belches when we are all eating and fancies himself as a ladies' man. The latter, we suspect, is why he got filled in on his stag night.
(The Jannie, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:12, Reply)

F'me
People who don't exclaim 'hello' as an ejaculation when surprised.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:11, 5 replies)

F'me
People who say 'pardon' instead of 'what' when they fail to hear the stupid prole muttering under his breath. It's just so undeniably bourgeoisie.

Also, 'refreshments'.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:09, 1 reply)

Sorry I can't join in the rants this week
as I'm too posh to know what common even means.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:04, Reply)

Yay for common!
I was a lad who had a middle-class upbringing on working-class means.

My parent's scrimped and saved and gave us as much as we asked for as they could. I developed a love of literature, theatre and writing.

This continued all the way through to university where I got a taste for good food and wine. In short, I could have been considered a bit of a snob.

How fortunate then that, despite my Mum's middle-class leanings, I also grew up with her family's influence.

Now my Mum's side of the family are all based around Newton Aycliffe in the North-East and are stereotypically working class. I don't mean that they're all chavs, they simply like a good filthy laugh, a drink or twelve, and they have a slight tendency to spawn like frogs.

They aren't intellectual, and would turn their nose up in distaste at something as exotic as a lasagne (Philistines), but they are amazing people and their influence has ensured my love of sick humour, massive piss-ups, footie, fags, creative swearing, and pornography.

In short, I walk a dichotomy between high and low-brow, and art and kitsch that I find very pleasing. After a stimulating evening reading the latest Salman Rushdie, I can fuck off upstairs for an equally stimulating five-knuckle shuffle at Liz Vicious' latest anal opus.

So, I embrace the 'common' side of my personality, and raise a Skol to my Mum's family and their close-knit, working-class ways!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:02, 5 replies)

Three special letters:
ITV

*POP*
(Chairman Lmao Something something your mum, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:00, Reply)

Anyone
who knows all the words to Angels by Robbie Williams off by heart.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:59, 1 reply)

Anti-common
For the record, I live in the South but I find Northerners much, much, MUCH nicer and more polite than Southerners. Everywhere has their pockets of pram-jockeys but I feel a lot less affronted when I'm up the other end of the country.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:56, Reply)

Common, you say?
Let me tell you a story.

The sweary one and I have had some fairly extensive renovation work done on our flat. Finding a builder was a bit of a hassle, but we managed. They turned up at the start of the summer holidays and the work lasted most of the 6 weeks, during which time we lived in a bomb site and had no kitchen for three weeks. Cue lots of takeaways and 'living room picnics'.

Anyhoo, the lads doing the work were mostly a canny bunch. Their gaffer was a bit of sheister and kept 'nipping off to collect some materials', usually entailing a three hour disappearing act and returning miraculously just as the kettle had boiled or the bacon butties had been suggested. I'm reliably informed that these disappearing acts did have some relevance to building work as he'd just got back with his ex and actually kept nipping away to check that his tool was still in prime working order. I think filling holes was on the agenda as well.

That said, we got on well with the other two lads, to the point where one of them invited us to a barbecue at his place. Yeah, we thought, why not? He's a decent bloke, we get on and have a laugh. The fact that he actually had done most of the graft endeared him to us as well. And so off we went one rainy Friday night. When we arrived, our host was hard at work over a hot stove, so to speak. The gaffer was there for a short while but buggered off early; as was the other (an apprentice) and his missus. Clearly getting very drunk on cheap vodka and Irn Bru.

We were introduced to apprentice's wife, and she made a point of telling us, in no small detail, what a screwed up fuckwit she had been when younger, but how her beloved apprentice had made her whole again and able to love. This whilst still swigging pints of vodka and Irn Bru and systematically trying her hardest to stop her jeans from displaying any more than 8 inches of arse crack or getting her bra to keep her tits in just above her nipples.

So, I'm not drinking as I'm driving, and watching all these people getting progressivly more drunk. Our nice, friendly builder has his eldest daughter there - a bonny lass of 17, absolutely tiny and looking more like she was 13. She's obviously met the apprentice and his missus before, and as the evening draws on, apprentice is getting to the alcohol-fuelled "I love everyone here, you's is all me mates" stage. Which involves lots of hugging of people in the garden.

Including our host's eldest daughter, just as his missus is returning from the kitchen with a freshly refilled pint of vodka and Irn Bru. On spotting her beloved hubby cuddling the girl, she flew into an apopleptic rage and hurled the pint over him - which also happened to land of most of the other people standing in the garden. Then she shoved her 'beloved saviour' to the ground and started raining blow upon blow upon him, before proceeding to stamp on his head. And his bollocks.

It wasn't a pretty sight.

In between raining blows upon her husband, she turned her attention to our host's daughter - remember I said she was tiny - and shoved her, hard, onto the steps leading up to the kitchen, wherupon the poor kid slipped backwards off the steps, under the railing and against the table that had been set up for the food, before she turned her attention back to her husband who was by now lying inert on the ground, covered in mud and vodka.

This probably all happened in the space of a few seconds before people managed to drag her off and into the house, her jeans still hanging around her acne-riddled arse and her tits still miraculously inside her bra.

It's fair to say that all hell was breaking loose by this point. The worst of it was that there were young kids present, including Sweary Junior. Our host was profusely apologetic about the whole thing - which was hardly his fault.

It was a night to remember for all the wrong reasons. So yeah, you can tell that someone is common when they pick a full on battle with their spouse in someone else's house and assault their host's daughter.

It was grim. Really fucking grim.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:54, 7 replies)

People who want to save the bloody environment
Remind me again why we want to save the planet? Half the world is dying from AIDS, the other half are rich, vain cunts. Yet all I bloody well hear from everyone is carbon footprint this, brighter future that. To quote Bill Hicks again - if you really want to save the planet, kill yourself.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:48, 6 replies)

Living on Anglesey, I spend most of my time in Bangor...
We get the best chavs ever - i even studied them for my (half-arsed) degree.

Our chavs wear the tracksuits, float round in packs, perch a cap on the absolute back of their head at some impossible angle, fight any normal person if they look twice, the usual things these gobshites do.

But NOW, NOW!! they even walk around town with their hands down the front of their pants. I don't know if they're keeping it warm, or practising their counting skills, but you want common? Come to Bangor
(iamjthearmeroar, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:47, 13 replies)

Im as common as mook me
People who say me after everything e.g. 'Ive just been down the shops, me'

and putting the word 'like' after every word in a sentence.

Living in Wigan (for the most part)

I do all three.
(PieEater, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:45, Reply)

RANT ALERT! And not the type you may think.
I'm considering giving up on this week's QOTW because it's bringing out the very worst of snobbishness in us all and forcing me to mutter..."You stuck up cunt!" at almost every other post.

Added to which it says TELL US YOUR STORY not List in full just how your way of doing and saying things is correct and everyone else is clearly a)stupid or b)common.

I live in a multicultural Britain and by that I don't just mean that the people who live around me are not all white Anglo-Saxons. Some of them are ignorant, some are well educated, some are even middle class.

It's all about diversity and I like it - even when I don't.

I think this QOTW is playing to the nasty and mean minded streak in all of us.

I look down on him but she looks down on me.
(For those of you who don't get that, it's TWTWTW).


And you know something I'm so much of a bloody bleeding heart liberal that I even support the right to use sodding txt speak and poor grammar, god help us!

/rant over

See you all next week.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:41, 21 replies)

Sleeping with Abi Titmuss
I mean, who hasn't?
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:41, 3 replies)

holding your dinner knife like a pen
according to my mum
( harryfreeze Ignore, Hide, I like this!, Reply, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:40, 1 reply)

Giving your children ridiculous names
Yes, I know celebrities do it. But the difference is, celebrities can afford to send their kids to schools where they won't be stabbed in the face for being called Tiger Moth Weewee Unicorn Muffintop.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:38, 9 replies)

People who buy "classical chillout" albums
Having classical music on in your house doesn't magically make your house not stink of fag smoke and stella artois.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:35, 2 replies)

People who say "random" all the time
Please, please pick up a dictionary and expand your fucking vocabulary. And I do mean dictionary - a thesaurus will teach you alternatives to the word random. Half the stuff you claim to be random ISN'T ACTUALLY RANDOM.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 18:33, 8 replies)