Yay! This QOTW is for me!
as above, "lounge" and "toilet" - but actually "front room" too - it was the sitting room, in my parents' house
"settee"
"serviette"
grammatical errors
discussing money esp. haggling over restaurant bills
commerce in general (I work in retail, and once said this to my MD at the start of a two hour car journey, just me and him. That was clever)
sports in general
football shirts as leisurewear
estuary English
pronouncing licorice "lickerish"
pronouncing tissue "tishoo"
(although I do draw the line at "suit" - I do pronounce it "sute")
conspicuous consumption - vulgar jewellery, flashy cars etc
faux-Tudor leading in windows
calling your grandmother "nan"
calling your evening meal "tea"- I've always thought that it's supper if at home and dinner if out
calling your lunch "dinner"


I find almost everything about modern life - particularly my own - insufferable, I have to admit. But then I'm quite posh, I'm afraid. Not in a plummy, knob-end way, but I can't help having fairly illustrious forebears and I'm rather proud of (albeit also rather daunted by) them.

Please don't hate me. My mother pretended we 'couldn't get ITV' until I sussed it out when I was about 6....

Let the flames begin.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:38, 22 replies)

those piercings to the side in the upper lip
I don't mind most piercings, some I think look great.

having a fucking great shiny bauble sticking out of your upper lip like a Terminator's zit?

you look like a fucking twat, you slag!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:38, 5 replies)

Possibly just me being a snob
But I hate it when people I don't know call me "mate". I work in a call centre and I hate it when someone I don't know from Adam drops in to every flaming sentence.

I feel this might be a ranty QOTW.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:37, 3 replies)

And another!
That wire that has no insulation on it, and is connected to the ground?

That's common by definition.

(/engineering geek humor)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:37, 3 replies)

Girls in halterneck bikini tops
worn underneath a strappy top as soon as the weather gets warm, as if they may suddenly get the urge to go swimming in the middle of Asda
(ecilA Alice...has nothing to do, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:37, Reply)

Freeview
The girls who shake their arses up and down whilst pretending to talk dirty to some punter on Sky TVs lower 900 channels.

(That doesn't mean to say I have not spilled a few gallons of love-custard whilst watching the dirty little slappers.)
(Tugnut I got them all..., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:37, 4 replies)

"I would like ... please."
Not "Can I get"

*SLAP*
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:36, 3 replies)

Signs in supermarkets that say
'10 items or fewer' ARRRGH it should be 'Up to 10 items'
(Errorist, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:35, 8 replies)

In defence of text speak
I used to hate txt spk, regarding it as terribly common, but it is now one of the main forms of communication with m'bloke and so I treasure each little misspelled missive he sends me, even if it takes me a good 5 minutes to decipher them.

Why, only the other day he texted me to say "mmm hun canne wait 2 cu l8r brng ur best undrwr n camera eh", though quite why he wanted to borrow my underwater camera is beyond me.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:34, 7 replies)

Anyone else
Slightly concerned how we're going to pun this QOTW?

Come on Pooflake, we need a Herculean effort from you.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:34, 3 replies)

At the risk of being flamed to death...
The scouse accent.

Example: I winced at my elder sister's voicemail recently when she referred to work as "Werrkkk". It was like nails down a blackboard.

Ironically, I'm only 12miles as the crow flies from Liverpool, so the scouse accent stretches to where I live, and my folks moved out of Fazackerley and Walton many many moons ago. If I had the money, I would seriously have elocution lessons (at the risk of sounding like a pretentious twat). My ex said I had a "Posh Scouse" (sic) accent, and a couple of friends say I sound like Neil Buchannon from Art Attack when I speak.

Cheesy Gold Jewellery:
I think those "Pound Coin" rings that mainly Chav's wear are horrible. Excessive gold jewellery is wrong and makes you look like a ganster rapper/dodgy scrap metal merchant/Poor Mr T replica (tick where applicable).

*dons flame proof jacket and runs for cover from Liverpudlian b3tans wielding crow bars*
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:34, 12 replies)

Baked Beans..
I mean, how DARE I suggest that they come from the same vat as all the supermarket ones!

Clearly Heinz Beans are superior in every way, despite tasting and looking exactly the same as Tesco's.

In fact, I asked a Tesco girls what the difference between Tesco beans and Heinz beans was whilst in a Tesco in Scotland once.

She replied, "about 38p".
(dchurch bah, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:32, 1 reply)

Toddlers and babbies
with their ears pierced. It never looks good.
(Cylon Bum Raider already knows how this will end, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:32, 7 replies)

Common annoyances
People saying 'would of' instead of 'would have'.
People using 'ink' to end words ending on 'ing' - nuffink, sumfink.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:31, 6 replies)

I pacifically regret not learning the word 'specifically'
...
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:31, 1 reply)

Part 1 (of possibly several)
A lack of manners, smoking outside, regional accents, writing in “text speak”, leisure wear worn outside of the gym, Vauxhall cars, net curtains, novelty ring tones, poor grammar, Wetherspoons, chartered airlines, belching or breaking wind in public, flip-flops (except when worn by a pool or on a beach), supermarket clothing, KFC/ Burger King/ Pizza Hut/ McDonalds, multiple satellite dishes on one home and lastly (for now) own label foods from Aldi/ Netto/ Lidl.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:30, 15 replies)

My g/f and her family
refer to the living room as a drawing room and i cant fucking stand it!
So I constantly call it living room, saying it loudly so all can hear! this annoys them.

am i common, no? and they posh, no?

we're middle class ffs
( Lord_Munkee, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:29, 2 replies)

Similar to one that crackhouseceilidhband posted
there's this part of Wimbledon....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:29, 3 replies)

Gorton.
I live in Gorton, one of the... umm... up-and-coming areas of Manchester. For that, read "regeneration zone".

Just across the road from me is a pub that, until a fortnight ago, was lit by fluorescent tubes, and had an old Simpsons Christmas decoration thing in the window. That, surely, has to be some kind of a warning.

Oh - and girls being sent there on a Sunday lunchtime to fetch their fathers, dressed in a hoodie over their pyjamas. Not good.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:27, 2 replies)

My boyfriend's mum
berated him for buying rosé because it was "common". Wtf?! Stupid cow.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:27, 3 replies)

fanny.
I get told off for calling my other half's 'special area' a dogs mouth.

she prefers 'happy valley'.



:|
(nappy rash, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:26, 5 replies)

Here's a good one...
You know that stack of bricks that goes up the side of the house? The one that's connected to a fireplace and guides smoke outside?

It is NOT called a "chimbley".
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:25, 6 replies)

ASDA. There, I said it.
I quite enjoy the supermarket shopping experience in the local Tesco, Morrisons, etc etc, but setting foot in ASDA is like visiting a Natural History Museum exhibiton of Neanderthal man.
It's a truly horrific experience, made worse by the fact that the 'local' ASDA now has a Macdonalds franchise inside the store, which means lots of little darlings being chauffered about by people who can't wear baseball caps the right way around, who are not only eating burgers while pushing around a trolley and shopping, but coughing and spitting big macs over everything, and dropping gherkins, sauces, fries and all other manner of 'Mcproducts' all around the store, and wiping their greasy little mitts over all unwrapped and uncovered produce. It's f*cking disgusting.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:25, 6 replies)

Wearing football shirts
while on holiday.
(Errorist, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:25, 11 replies)

There are many indicators.
Eating with your mouth open is a definite sign of ill breeeding. Most horrible is the wide open, chasm mouth technique of eating crisps, whereby the eater subconciously, or otherwise, attempts to CHOMP down on teh crisp in such a way as to make as much fucking noise as humanly possible.

Pouring fizzy drinks into small babies bottles. Common and just plain fucking stupid.

The infamous 'Greggs Dummy' aka, any child in a pram with a sausage roll in a greggs bag at its mouth in an attempt to keep the mewling brat from spoiling any shopping or tab smoking opportunities.

Skirts that are just far too short for any self respecting girl and are only suitable for sex workers.

Scabbing cigs from strangers without so much as a hint of self respect.

Arguing in the street.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:24, 1 reply)

ooh, there's a long list...
but I think i can whittle it down to:

1) using profanity to fill space in a sentence

2) confusing "I would like" with "I have a right to"

3) not taking into account other people's sensibilities/feelings

4) not appreciating the fact that someone had to work to make/clean/buy something before they destroy/tarnish/break/denegrate it.

5) Ugg boots

6) The word"innit"

7) Playing music on a mobile phone - a) it sounds shit, b) we don't like NeYo as much as you do and, c) it's pig ignorant - use earphones.

8) Chewing with the mouth open - if you can't close it, you shovelled too much in, you fat fuck.

9) Putting exhausts the size of drainpipes on crappy little cars - it doesn't make it go faster, it doesn't fool us into thinking it does and it jus tpisses off your neighbours when you rev it at 7am on a sunday, you twat.

10) Never admitting they might be wrong - the most simple way to spot a chav/scumbag/comm-as-muck person is to point out a mistake they made. A normal person will say "Oh. Whoops, sorry about that" or words to that effect. Your common oik/thug/pondlife will snort, tut, sigh and then try and make out it's you fault they didn't do their job properly, before they throw a huge screaming tantrum if you don't agree with them.

There are more, but these are simple to spot.
(Chad, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:23, 2 replies)

Pass the dibber please
I think asking someone what is common is rather common if I must say. Haha not really.

I suppose my concept of class and what was common or not came from my parents, as I imagine everyone’s concept does to some extent.

My mother forbade me from ( amongst other things):

- Referring to lunch as ‘dinner’

- Using my mouth to ‘cut’ my toenails. (fair point that)

- Using the word ‘settee’.

- Using the word ‘dibber’ to describe the dibber. It’s a ‘remote control’ apparently.

She also used to be obsessed about me using jokey contractions for words. She used to visibly wince if I called a chocolate bar, a ‘chocky bar’. She also used to close her eyes and whisper something in latin if I called her ‘mam’, which I did frequently.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:22, 2 replies)

I'm going to get slaughtered for this one...
When someone dies in a car accident and the family hang flowers and football shirts where it happened.

(Ducks for cover.)
(Tugnut I got them all..., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:22, 37 replies)

Shopping online
Is a much preferred alternative to mixing with the proles in the local Tescos. And don't get me started on Morrisons...
(CaptnJack isn't really called Jack!, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:22, 2 replies)