Poor Grammar
People who use the phrases 'like', 'you know', 'stuff'
As in: "You 'member when we went out last week like, and that guy was all like, Fuck You 'n stuff, like.."

I also hate double negatives. It drives me potty!!
(Kezmo, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 21:19, 1 reply)

Evidently me...
Because my stepdaughter keeps telling me that I can't pronounce words like Grass, Castle, and I tell her that they're spelt grass instead of grarse, and castle instead of carsel.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 21:19, 2 replies)

Ford Ka
It rhymes with "car". It is not a Ford "Kay Eh".
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 21:09, 13 replies)

trying too hard.
Where I used to live, I swear that every single person was a 'Hyacinth Bucket' type.

If you called the 'patisserie' a 'bakery' or a 'cake shop', they'd look at you like they didn't know what you were talking about.

Fucking Marseille.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 21:06, 2 replies)

I've got a cold
They're quite common, and I'm not posh enough to have gout.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 21:03, 9 replies)

Language, grass and rules
1. Words that describe a class of entities.
2. Land set aside for recreational use in an urban area.
3. Laws based on previous judgements rather than statute.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:55, Reply)

Beefburger.
So help me, I'll strangle you if you dare to rape the etymology of the honest hamburger one more time. PACKS OF RAVENOUS WOLVES WILL DEVOUR YOUR CORPSE.

It's a hamburger, it's from Hamburg. Just like a frankfurter. ICH BIN EIN HAMBURGER!
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:54, 4 replies)

made-up suburbs
to avoid mentioning that you live in a particular area.

eg people used to claim to live in the non-existent area of Wanniassa Hills, because Wanniassa was a bit common.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:50, 2 replies)

Jews.
They're bloody everywhere.

EDIT: oh shit...I just told the people on the BNP forum that my cock was enormous.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:48, 5 replies)

My mother
is ashamed of where she lives.

Her house is in beautiful countryside at the foot of the North Yorkshire Moors.

One pitfall in the glory stakes is the small matter of Middlesbrough's position a pitiful 10 miles to the north of our leafy village.

Therefore on a trip to Florida when I was younger, she struck up a conversation with a well-to-do lady in the queue.

When asked where she lived, I saw a single bead of sweat form and she enunciated in Received Pronunciation:

"We are nestled somewhere between Harrogate Spa and Alnwick Castle."


Great Broughton, Googlemap it.
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:47, 3 replies)

My top 10 Common
1. Numero uno in my books, talking while chewing gum, double points if you have your mouth open and 'plap' loudly.

2. 'Red sauce'

3. Personalised number plates.

4. Stupidly spelled kid's names i.e. Caighlieeegh or Kevvinnn.Any kid named Chantelle.

5. GOING TO THE SHOPS IN YOUR SLIPPERS? YOU ARE SCUM.

6. Women who smoke roll-ups. Slag tags and muffin tops. Ugg Boots.

7. Asda and Argos

8. Too much Jewellery. Less is more.

9. Anyone who rents a villa.

10. 'Serviette'
(kilt101, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:46, 12 replies)

expats who don't want to integrate
What's the point of going to live somewhere like Spain, if you're just going to restrict your social life to other english-speaking expats, carry on reading British papers and not even try to make an attempt at learning the native language? Annoying.
(Le Moribond is not dying, clearly., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:46, 8 replies)

this is common as in 'widespread' rather than 'proletarian',
but...

people who think that looking at Suicide Girls is a brave feminist act.

Good on you for being ready to accept that young, thin white women can be seen as sexy.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:45, 3 replies)

One thing marks you out as common
That is people who refer to themselves or sign their name with a courtesy title - i.e I am Mrs Smith. I was always taught that it was the same as shouting "Look at how important I think I am" and was therefore common. It's so engrained that it really bugs me when I get an email from people who have incorporated their title into their email signature and automatically makes me not want to help them.

Oh, that and using a fish knife.
(Innogen, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:43, 2 replies)

Already been mentioned, but it's such a big one it's worth mentioning twice:
False leaded windows.

Let me get this right. You want to make your home look as if it's really old and posh, with "windows 1.0". Correct me if I'm wrong, but the early glazing pioneers didn't usually use uPVC frames; and even less often installed them in sixties suburban semidetached houses.

So you've kind of 'epic failed' at the first hurdle, and made your house look *less* refined.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:32, Reply)

sport trainers outside the gym
I passionately hate this. Are you suddenly going to go for a run whilst in the middle of the supermarket? Start up an impromptu game of tennis?
I love my high heels but appreciate the need for comfy footwear. But this is what 'street trainers' are for.

But is it a step too far to send a guy home to change when he turns up on a date wearing sports trainers? To me it indicates a lack of effort and perfectly justified.
(naranjita, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:29, 5 replies)

Do I qualify?
I live in a two bedroomed, terraced house, on a council estate, the telly is often on ITV, and we don't have dinner, we have tea. And my grammar is awful. (Well, my English in general is quite awful).
(name, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:24, 5 replies)

Britain. Period.

www.iseverythingshit.co.uk/
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:24, Reply)

Hull
I can't think of anything that isn't common about that shithole.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:22, 7 replies)

Apparently, I may be the only one...
...that, as a child, would use the toliet, stand up after pooping, pirouette myself in front of the mirror and watch myself wiping to make sure all was clean. Tis easy - stand parallel to the mirror, facing away. Twist your whole body to the right so you can see the mirror. Hold one cheek with your left hand and wipe with the right. Tall people may have to stoop slightly.

If it was particularly awful offal, I'd get a wet paper towel and mop up before wiping again.

Once adequately wiped, little apathy would look back and spread his cheeks apart with both hands to make sure that the poop deck was well-scrubbed and presentable.

Bathrooms without a mirror were so frustrating. Young-me was forced to just keep wiping and wiping until the paper was whiter than Amy Winehouse's sugar-boogers or my tiny balloon-knot was too sore (yes, you can, and will, get a sore starfish-mouth from over-wiping with poor quality paper). I'd wait for the handicap stall at any movie, concert or outing; I'd lie and tell the inquisitive that I was claustrophobic.

I didn't know this was wrong or unusual until my early teens. A kid I knew was watching me under the partition of a men's room at the mall whilst I shat. He ran out and told my friends; they mocked me and thought this was the stupidest thing they'd ever heard. I thought blindly smearing shit around on your ass while dragging your knuckles through used toilet water was orders of magnitude more retarded. They also thought I much stranger than the little shit who was watching me shit!?

I only changed my wiping methodology because of baby wipes. Whoever invented the travel-size baby wipe packet should get a Nobel Prize.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, my asshole is the second coming.
(apathymilkshake, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:20, 3 replies)

Me common, I've had my moments.
I was brought up on a Lancashire council estate in the seventies and remember as a 10/12 year old going to the local shop in my nightie and slippers, (this was before paedophiles were invented). Looking back I always thought that was quite common.

Then again our underwear always came from Marks and Spencer.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:14, 3 replies)

I think I'll turn this upside down.
Now then, I dislike misuse of grammar as much as the next person, and frankly chavs appall me. How someone can have any lack of desire to progress in life frankly mystifies me. However, I will not be dictated to by someone with an over-inflated idea of themselves.

For example. I love Oasis, I fart (loudly) with the best of them apart from at special occasions, I will happily watch mass-market movies, albeit downloaded. I'm not paying to see Hancock, for goodness' sakes. Although I imagine G0nzo would kill me for admitting that, the Will Smith-loving weirdo.

But, one thing I do find common. People moaning about accents. It's something that we're born into. My Grandad has possibly the broadest Barnsley accent in the world, yet this does not make him a pikey. I'm from Norfolk, and this doesn't mean I have webbed feet.

Fair enough we all have our prejudices, but what are these borne of? Fear of the unknown? Or maybe insecurity? It is possible, deep down some of us feel the need to put others down in order to make ourselves feel better and bring a fleeting sense of self-worth in an otherwise dull and bland existence?

I'll leave you all to answer this yourself.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:14, 6 replies)

Crying over sport

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:13, 1 reply)

People who went to state schools, can't afford detached houses and don't even read the Guardian, they're that rabidly right-wing.
What a shower of bastards. If it were up to me I'd have them all killed.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:11, Reply)

What do i think is common.
1) Tramp stamps - the tattoo above a ladies bum
2) John player cigarettes
3) Speaking like dizzie rascal
4) Speaking like any guy richie character(bar the student in lock stock)
5) Flimsy knives and forks
6) Mobile phone music - unless on the night link and everyone has agreed that music is necessary
7) how-yee
8) Jay-sus
9) Women in pj's during the day
10) Girl aged 17 pushing a buggie while dragging another child and shoulding "ya 'ittle bollox"
(macsniffanugget is having his head wrecked, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:10, 4 replies)

Kids
Using shorter words that are technically plain wrong.

e.g.
Using the word "kid(s)" to describe a child or children. They are not the offspring of goats!
(robbie988 Lurking since 2004, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:08, 3 replies)

MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
I didn't get the last post! Get me a last post! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 20:07, Reply)

Saying "at the end of the day"
or "I'm not hear to make friends."
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:58, 6 replies)

Maybe it's just me.
Leaving aside all the bath-barth, dinner-tea malarkey , the one thing guaranteed to make me think "You utter pleb" is an adult swearing at, or in the presence of, their kids.
Although having a garden full of dogshit and rusting Ford parts would probably work just as well.
(Big D, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:58, 1 reply)

This is going to be a ranty one.
1. Slag tags - the tattoo across the base of the spine... usually something curly and spiky.

2. Those stupid footless tights girls wear these days. Leggings were crap in the 90s. They are still crap now. Especially when teamed with emo fringes and too much eyeliner.

3. Playing music off your phone with no earphones. I followed a pair of chavlings home today who were blaring what sounded like The Streets and it was all I could do not to grab it off them and chuck it into the nearby brook to stop my ears from bleeding. Not everyone likes rap. Least of all me.

4. Kids with pierced ears under the age of about 12. Again, on the bus home the other night I saw a boy of about 5 with a stud in his ear. It's a classy place, Ashford.

5. Kids who say "I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT" and whose parents' idea of disciplining it is to let it dangle from their arm screeching. At the same time though, there's something about kids that are too well spoken that creeps me out. Hearing a six year old say "well actually, I would like..." sets my teeth on edge. Where's the happy medium?

6. Playboy anything. I'm ashamed to say I used to own a Playboy watch, but I've not worn it for years.

7. Bomber jackets and low-slung jeans, especially with too much fat over the top. Stupid Neapolitan Bint I used to live with constantly whinged about her "muffin top" but it never stopped her getting it out for all to see...

8. Public displays of too much affection. I've occasionally had the cause to nearly vomit in the street because some people think it's okay to reach third base in public. Eww.

9. "Innit".

10. I grew up in Leicestershire and am so, so relieved to have lost the accent. Whenever I hear it I cringe.

11. Big Brother. Hollyoaks. Jeremy Kyle. Daytime TV in general.

12. Thinking you're irresistible after 6 pints, especially if you're old enough to be my father. No. Fuck off or my boyfriend will cunt you in the fuck.

13. It's already been mentioned, but over-use of "random". Hate it hate it hate it.

14. People who refer to orange squash as "orange juice". IT IS NOT JUICE. IT IS HORRIBLE SICKLY CRAP WITH A NASTY BACKTASTE.
( Maladicta, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 19:51, 14 replies)