Young and naive
Back in 1997 I was given my first taste of the interweb consisting of an hour every Saturday morning. I have been conned on a daily basis ever since!

During my ongoing addiction to ebay I found a few 'interesting' links. Saying things like 'earn £200 before midnight', 'free money', 'win £££££ on poker' etc. After spending 99p on a couple of ebooks I stumbled on a site that was offering online work at £10 an hour. It said all you needed was typing skills, a paypal account and internet connection. All of which I had.

Turns out for your hard earned tenner you bought the right to sell on the advert for £10 a pop.

One time I got conned out of £7000 by some bitch of a woman who apparently wanted to start a business with me. Only AFTER I'd took out the loan was I kindly informed that she had tried it with another before me, and I wouldn't be the last. I'm still paying it off 3 years later.

I'm not a gullable person, but damned if I trust anyone these days.
(vampyre_gem has been dead since, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 5:17, Reply)

The United States Postal Service
They are, to use an oft over-used phrase: cunts.

Crap service and insane prices.

So back when I was still in high school (long before I was held to the honor code of my college and my eventual service as a Jarhead) a buddy somehow managed to figure out if he hit the machine that dispensed stamps, outside the closed Post Office, that it would discharge handfulls of change. EVERY time.

So we would skateboard up there (I wasnt a typical 'skater' but I had a decent board and it WAS a form of transport back then!) and my buddy would bring this cloth bag...which we would fill once about every three weeks.

Overall I think we took them for about $75. Since then, I have spent WELL over that on stamps that I have lost immediately, so I guess thats kharma for you. So which is the 'con'? The theft of change or the eventual recuperation of said lost change by the Post Office in my seeming inability to keep track of stamps?

Oh well.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 4:39, 2 replies)

New York City
I met this girl while I was still serving my country in Uncle Sam's Misguided Children (USMC) as an intelligence officer. So I was spending about every third weekend in NYC. It was brilliant and I felt pretty cocky, given my job and all.

So I get off the train at Penn Station and get in the cab line to get a cab across town to my Girlfriend's abode.

There is this official looking AA (African American) guy who seems to be directing the cabs. He tells me (figuring me with my short hair cut and non-citified clothing for the rube that I am), after speaking with the cab driver, outside of my ear shot, that I need to give him $20 in advance of the trip because its a long way and its a busy train station.

Not being accustomed to NY Citified ways, I hand him the $20 and get into the cab. Before we drive away I start to figure out the deal and mention to the cab driver the $20 advanced payment seemed a bit steep. I turned and all I saw was the AA running away like Ben Johnson running away from an Olympic official with a urine test kit.

Oh well. We live and learn I guess.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 4:32, 4 replies)

Whilst clearly Leyxia
is a loathsome and contemptible individual, he did remind me of a scam that I didn't even intend on commiting, but did nonetheless.

Whilst living in Colorado I decided to buy a playstation as I was addicted to Tony Hawk (the game, not the man) and hadn't played it in the 3 months I'd been away. As I was living like a backpacker I couldn't afford a new playstation so decided to take a risk and bought a second hand one.

When I got it home I found that it would work for 5 minutes and then stop due to the fan being broken.

As it had only cost me $50 I wasn't that gutted. Anyways, I then found myself in a large store that starts with W and rhymes with fart looking at playstations to see if I could actually afford a new one. I got talking to the sales assistant and explained what had happened.

They suggested buying a new one form Walmart and then take it home and swap it with the old one and then bring it back with the reciept and get a refund.

And that's how I got a brand new playstation for $50.

Whilst I deplore people ripping off the general public I have absolutely no qualms about ripping off a company such as this - they are cunts of the highest order and care nothing about their customers. Much like our dear friend Leyxia.
(Creamy Discharge Freeze Motherstickers, this is a fuck up, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 4:08, 1 reply)

I used to be a door bitch
the till was black (the owners didn't want to declare the $13,000 or so coming through it per night), so there was no camera

no sale opens the til and doesn't ring anything up on the journal, I used to walk out after Friday & Saturday night, over $1000 richer

every week ofr nearly a year
(loki lie smith kiss me til I'm in a coma, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 3:15, Reply)

Conned by my own mother
When I was just 15, my parents and I took a trip to Las Vegas (my sister lived there and just had a baby). Since I looked closer to 20, mother and I were able to go to the casinos and play the slots together. I'm not big on losing money so I played the 5 cent slots and it really didn't amount to much if I lost.

As it got later and later in the evening and I got tired, my mother kindly offered to continue playing my money for me while I went up to the room to sleep.

The next day, my mother hands me $100 and tells me that was my winnings by the time she was finished. As I had started the evening gambling on only $2, I was thrilled with my $98 profit.

It wasn't until about 10 years later that mother let it slip that my winnings were over $250 by the time she finished gambling with my money. She gave me $100 and pocketed the rest. Her reasoning was "a 15 year old wouldn't know what to do with that much money...and besides, you were so pleased with the $100 that I wasn't going to tell you the truth"


My own mother cheated me out of more than $150.........jeez.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 24 Oct 2007, 2:56, 5 replies)

Beer
.
Was in my local in Manchester and they were doing a promotion for Stella lager where, everytime you bought a pint they would give you a scratchcard. There were 6 boxes and under one box there would be a free pint. But you were only supposed to scratch one box. Two, and the ticket was void.

But then I found out that if you held the flimsy ticket up to the light in the bogs, then you could see which box had the free pint.

Result.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 2:41, Reply)

didn't think of it as much of a con at the time, but...
My father and I never really liked each other but we did have a really good little scam going for a few years.

My parents got divorced when I was around 2-3 years old but my dad wasn't interested in taking his alloted visitation until I was closer to 7. By that time, he had figured out that he got laid more often by the women he dated when he played the "oh what a great dad you are" card.

Didn't take me long at all to catch on to what he was doing.

So, the scam was this: I would ask for all kinds of expensive presents and clothes IN FRONT OF the girlfriend-of-the-moment. Naturally, he would buy it all for me (and a bit more). This would prompt the "awwww...what a great daddy you are" response from the women who would then screw him silly because they thought they were dating a really great guy.

Dad: got laid regularly
Me: great stuff my mother couldn't afford
Mom: didn't have to buy me clothes for years.....saved a whole lot of money

Worked great every time..........that is until whichever girlfriend-of-the-moment we were playing 'happy family' for discovered she wasn't the ONLY girlfriend.

Unfortunately it all came to an end once I was too old for the sweet little kid bit.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 24 Oct 2007, 2:00, 2 replies)

Self service checkouts
I work in Tesco and have full access to all the self service checkout functions. This includes the "reprint last reciept" function.

There is an ongoing offer where if you spend £50 on anything you get a voucher to get 5p off every litre of petrol for one fill up. So every time someone spends £50 at the self service they get a voucher, then I hop on behind them and reprint it and stick the duplicate voucher in my pocket!

On an average day I can get 50+ of these vouchers quite easily and have no problem getting £2-3 each for them

Easy money :)
( --=| Daz |=-- has been masturbating over a picture of you since, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 0:05, 3 replies)

McDonalds
Someone mentioned their voucher scam for McDonalds which reminded me of my own counterfeit voucher scheme I ran during that promotion. Most of the vouchers were shit, but the good ones like buy one meal get another free were a good deal, so I used the office's Colour laser to reel off a shitload (all printed double sided as the real vouchers were of courese) and sold them for 50p a go. Once they'd been crumpled up a bit no one even questioned their authenticity! Made a fair bit and ate a lot of free burgers to boot!

Now I'm fat *sobs*
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 23:31, Reply)

It all started with a..
genuine complaint.

Dad notices that Warburtons bread tastes shit, rings up the free customer helpline to complain.

Is surprised when a spokesman from warburtons comes down and gives us tons of free bread, potato cakes (mmm) and other goodies as a way of apology.

Dad now thinks, hmm I could be onto something.

For the last few years hes been conning free food out of big companies by buying their, perfectly edible food and then ringing up their FREE customer hotline to say 'the food was not satisfactory (although he's a loyal customer- always add that bit makes them feel special) but hes disappointed this time. No he's thrown the food in the bin now but he has the barcode on the packet.'

Within a few days, voila food vouchers through the post.
(purplefairy, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 22:34, 3 replies)

GNER and Scotrail
Hah, after I graduated from uni my and my mate went to the Edinburgh festival for a week. I couldn't really afford to go, what with the train costing about £90 or something awful like that, and thats not counting the weeks worth of commuting from Sterling (where our friend was staying) to Edinburgh everyday.

Anyways, my (now thankfully ex, although not ex enough) girlfriend had just finished her trip of the UK, and was flying back to Canada. She left me a BritRail pass.

A BritRail pass is a train ticket that can only be bought from oversees. Its a £200 ticket that allows you to make any 5 days journeys on the UK Rails network. All you had to do was write your journeys down on the ticket. In pen.

Well, my ex thankfully had the sense to write her journeys down in pencil and carry a rubber with her. Which left me to abuse the UK rail network off by travelling to Scotland from London for free.

Happy days, the train guards really didnt know what to do with the ticket, not did they have the sense to ask for my passport (which was a condition of the ticket) which certainly would've given the game away.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 22:06, Reply)

Out and about in town
with my other half, we have been waylaid many, many times by the same thieving ratfaced chavscum on a bike (or not) pestering us for 20p, using the line "are you going to be ignorant, mate, or are you gonna give me some money and help me out?" and of course getting abusive when neither of us say anything and keep walking (somehow, he finds it amusing that a tiny creature like me is walking with a 6'2" guy in a long leather coat, and of course as this guy is a chav, long leather coat implies his natural enemy, the goth).

However, we haven't seen him for a couple of weeks (it used to be every night without fail), and so we're wondering if someone spanged him before my other half could...

Also, I used to live in Siena and hated it (pervy men, bitchy old women, nothing to do), and it cost me a couple of euros a day to get into town and back again. I would have to buy a book of bus tickets for about 10 euros, and then each time I travelled, stamp it in a little machine on the bus that was never checked. After about a week I stopped buying tickets, and travelled free for six months. Hah. Woo and yay for Italian bureaucracy!
( Maladicta, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 20:52, Reply)

Well now well now well now
1) I had the bad luck to get a job in the local Argos last Xmastide as a useless temp who was generally found kipping in the vast cardboard mountain that was the stockroom or rushing about on the pretence of doing work. Scam enough in itself you may think, but I found a wiley way of scraping a touch more than my £5.xx p/h wages off the company.

Round about October/November time, when sensible folk do their Xmas shopping, Argos decided to introduce a crude cashback scheme to entice the gullible into actually wasting money on their overpriced tat: spend over £50 and you got a £5 gift voucher, over a ton and you got a £10 voucher. The trouble was the daft bastards didn't think to advertise this to any extent greater than a rather cursory sign atop the tills, so a good 90% of the punters hadn't a notion they could get their grubby mitts on a few extra 'quid'.

The tills ploughed on stubbornly ahead with printing and authorising the gift voucher despite the fact that the customer had already wandered off, so yours truly took it upon himself to subtly pocket the voucher instead of wasting it by chucking it in the bin. The tills were neither up nor down, the receipt bore no evidence of trickery; in short, the perfect crime. I used the vouchers on various fripperies like a new mobile phone, digital camera, mildly pricey headphones etc. and sold the rest at a pound or so short of their face value.

Total profit: in the region of £40-50 hard cash, well over £200 in goods.

2) After my departure from Argos in March, I became aware of a fundamental flaw in their refund system which I will reveal to YOU, yes you out there in B3tardville: the cashiers are bull-simple/don't give a gnat's cock AND the 30-day money back guarantee is absolutely rock solid.

From there it was simple. Buy an appliance of some kind (I used TVs for the most part) from Argos for a sum of money, say £400. Buy a faulty version of said appliance from eBay/somewhere similar for a smaller sum of money, say £150. Do the ol' switcheroo with the working and faulty items, returning the faulty one within 30 days and getting one's money refunded. Sell the working item on eBay for as much as possible, say £300. Your profit is £300-£150 = £150 and increases exponentially with item value, as faulty items are all around the same price. Don't visit the same store twice inside any length of time or they'll no doubt catch on, mind you.

Total profit: about £2k over an 8-9 month period

3) Leaving the dodgiest till last, I am currently a delivery driver for a local fast food outlet (name withheld!) in the evenings. I get £20 for petrol at the start of the night and then get to keep the delivery charge for each delivery, ranging from £2-5. On an average 5-11pm shift I would make around £50-80, which after taking the £20 petrol money leaves me at an average wage of £6 an hour, not too bad in my books.

To put it simply, I chuck an extra £2-3 on each order which goes directly into my own pocket. This plus the few quid of tips I garner over the course of the night generally leaves me with earnings scraping on the £100 mark, especially on Friday/Saturday nights.

Why is this a con and not out-and-out theft? The breakdown of the cost of the meal is actually written on the bag, generally in black magic marker. I simply say '£39 please' and they hand the cash over, take the food and walk back into their house, minds fixated on the platter of questionable beef with cashews in their paws. This makes it an exploitation of the almost unreal stupidity of Regular John and thus a con. QED.

Please don't flame me :(
(SurferRosa causing the lamentation of the womenfolk since, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 20:51, 3 replies)

Just come back from the
friend's wedding that I mentioned earlier. Quite apart from the married 25 year old that I was smitten with, a lot of guys kept asking us about one of the bridesmaids.

Long, dark hair, bright blue eyes, long legs and large knockers. She had a ready laugh and an air of worldliness. She flirted easily and could talk about a range of subjects.

"Is she seeing anyone?" these men would ask.

They would then choke and their jaws would drop when they were told she was 14.

Girls like that should be banned from public until they're old enough to act in the way they do.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 20:04, 4 replies)

3 years worth of free train rides
My journey to work in the mornings was only 2 stops on the line, about 10 mins travel time. They used to want to charge me £2.50 or so for this short journey each day, so as my minor act of rebellion, I decided not to buy any more tickets. For 3 years.

Easy enough, noone ever was on duty to check tickets going into the station, or off at the other end. About every 4 months there'd be a random ticket check, most of which I blagged, and two where I had to pay a fine of £20 on the spot (or take it to court).

So, total of about £40 outlay on fines netted me 52*5*2.50, about £650's worth of travelling for free, per year, or getting on for 2 grand over the 3 years.

Still, they're money grabbing cunts at the best of time with overpriced sandwiches, coffee and beer, so they can fuck right off. Cunts.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 20:02, Reply)

My mate Dave has no sense of smell.
This was aptly demonstrated a few years back when he turned up at a gathering, proudly proclaiming that he'd managed to acquire himself some cannabis oil which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be delicious mint sauce.

We still smoked it anyway.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 19:58, 1 reply)

Conning Iceland
Because people liked my last story so much, here's how we scammed Iceland.

Step 1: Sit on the tills and do your job.
Step 2: Wait until someone comes along and buys just one or two items.
Step 3: Add up the total of these items in your head. Helpfully, Iceland print the price which is usually rounded to the nearest 50p in big yellow stickers so it's not hard.
Step 4: The tills had (not anymore, they changed it after my misdemeanour) an 'Enquiry' function whereby you could scan an item, ascertain the price, but not have it actually put through the till. Not a necessary step, but it provided a geniune sounding *beep* when you scanned it, and you found out how much an item was.
Step 5: Take money from customer. Pretend to put in till. Pocket it. Repeat as needed.

Possible problems: The customer wants a reciept? The problem with this is that not scanning the items means no reciept obviously. But this was rarely an issue- people buying a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread don't bother with reciepts 9/10 times. If they insist, pretend something went wrong, and then make an actual transaction.
If the customer is paying by card, then you can't fake that, as reciepts are needed by the cash office for card payments. So repeat as above, simply rescan the items for real.

We had a fantastic time when Iceland were doing a "3 bottles of wine for £10" deal, as a lot of people would simply come in and just buy them. Easy tenner.

My record was £110 over two six-hour shifts. I'd walk out with my pockets totally weighed down with £1 and £2 coins cushioned with the occassional note. Between us, myself and my nameless accomplice got the best part of a grand over two months. Good times.

'Course then we got caught. Bad times.

Length.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 19:44, 1 reply)

McConald's
Back a few years ago when I was working there, there was a big promotion out which involved voucher books being sent to people's houses. Such as Buy a Mac get one free or something to that effect. Basically this is how it worked:

We was supposed to keep the vouchers given to us in our till. However, none of the managers cared if we didn't and they couldn't be arsed to filter through about a hundred vouchers when they cashed a till up.

Step 1: Ask to go on Window 1 (Or Whichever window takes the cash in stores)

Step 2: Whenever someone orders say, 2 big mac meals (or whichever voucher corresponds) and they don't have a voucher, put one through as a normal meal and one through as a voucher.

Step 3: Tell them the correct price of their meals (Usually around £6.50 or so for 2 Big Mac meals). The till would show half the price (£3.25 if that was all they ordered). Bit fiddly if they order a ton of stuff on top.

Step 4: Take their money, and either
a)Tally up how much you should take from the till and do it when no-one's looking
b)Slip the £3.25 in your pocket if you're good enough to do that. (I managed it but aroused suspicion once)

That's the gist of it. Now do this on a Saturday when there's the entire population of the town coming there.

Done it one Saturday and no kidding, walked out of there £425 and so and so pence better off. My till was up 32p and no-one was none the wiser.

Wouldn't be advisable to do it for every customer that doesn't have a voucher, as someone will click and look at their receipt.
Still good if you can do it though.

Length? The money could've paid for plastic surgery to fix that!
( sausagesucker just paid £5.00 for a cup of Tea!, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 19:33, 3 replies)

Play.com AND WH Smiths
I'm sure retail scamming is the easiest thing to pull off, but it's always hugely satisfying to get one over on big chains (And just a little bit satisfying upsetting sales assistants!)

So there I was a few Christmases ago, ordering Season 4 of Babylon 5 on DVD from Play.com, they were down to £25 a box set and I was still a couple of seasons short. A few days later the box arrives and I sit down to enjoy a few hours of uber-nerd Sci-Fi only to find that there are two Disc 2's and no Disc 1!

A quick phonecall to Play customer services and they tell me they'll send out a replacement as soon as I return the offending item. 'Great' I think, and promptly forget to go to the Post Office... a day or so later, another copy of B5 S4 drops through my door much to my confusion, and on opening I find two Disc 1's this time! Agh! Luckily I'd not returned the first so combined the two into one perfectly formed B5 box...

A plan popped into my head, I still needed season 5, and there was a really dumb sales assistant working in WH Smiths in town, so I figured I'd try the age old 'Xmas present, no reciept' scam.

Naturally I'd 'recieved a duplicate gift' and wished to exchange it for the next season box set... to my suprise Season 5 was selling £10 cheaper than Season 4, so the helpful little sales gnome kindly handed over a £10 gift voucher and a fresh copy of B5 S5... lovely.

And the cherry on the cake, a few weeks later on my bank statement, Play.com had refunded me the non existant *return* postage costs of the original item!

I love it when a completely accidental plan comes together!

(Edited ever so slightly for clarity)
(happynoodleboy, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 19:13, 2 replies)

Jack Shit
I once sold a cow for 3 magic beans.

Turns out they were just LSD.

When I came round from my trip, I had climbed up the nearest lamp post and was shouting something about a giant...
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 18:50, Reply)

Sheiks
Not sure if this counts as a con or a rip-off, but neither is anyone else by the looks of it.

While I was at Uni, the local club was a dive called Sheiks. Two floors: one cheese and one 'popular' (read chavvy rnb club 'bangaz' and middle of the road trance/house music). The student night was on a Thursday and cost £2 to get in with NUS, £3 without. They occasionally churned out some decent rock tunes (Bon Jovi, Guns N Roses, The Killers) and a reasonable amount of danceable cheese.

Fast forward to Friday nights. No students, no cheese, 'jungle and ragga' night on one floor, the same brand of Clubland-esque shite on another. More chavs, more chance of getting bottled/accosted/molested etc. Drinks exactly the same price.

And the entry fee? £7. For what is a far less enjoyable experience on what should be the biggest night of the week.

Club Vision (the owners) are a bunch of con artists. They also run a nearby club called Thursdays, which, as well as not being open on a Thursday, has no air-conditioning, and is always populated with rowdy wigga types and Polish guys who don't obey the dress code. That too costs £7 to get it. Bye bye fun.
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 18:41, 2 replies)

An old one from some years ago
I've been building PCs for some time now, and early on I was doing a lot of tech support for local voluntary agencies. One of these pieces of work involved the production of three machines for local charities.

If memory serves they were AMD K6-300s or possibly 350s and based on Soyo mainboards. I never found out what the underlying problem was, but these machines were pretty flakey. Given that this was under Windows 98 you can be assured that these aren't the best systems I've ever configured.

Anyhoo, there was this one time where I'd been called out, not long after delivery, to find out what was up with one of these systems. Bluescreening or something. So I'm working on the system, the software seems to be installed OK, they aren't Internet-enabled and they seem free of sh!tware, so I'm tending to the opinion that it's flakey hardware.

The layout of the office is thus: there's about three, maybe four feet of worktop on a solid desk; therefore the machine is sat on the desk on a level with the monitor. And I decide, without properly engaging my brain, to reseat the memory and see if that helps.

Many of you will probably guess the next bit. While seating this memory - a 64MB DIMM that cost around £130 - my elbow brushed against the surface of this shitty (switched-off) monitor and I feel the telltale prickling of static electricity. Shit.

I power up the machine and it won't even POST. I'd fscked the memory. Damn.

My con was when I got suited up and went through to the suppliers advising that 'one of the three memory sticks I'd recently acquired was DOA'. As the receipt had a shedload of other hardware I'd bought at the same time they were happy enough to exchange.

There is one redeeming thing though. The 'tech' who checked out the ram stick advised me that they'd sold me a 32MB DIMM in error and not (as was clearly marked on the stick, and which BIOS had asserted to be before I'd fried it) a 64MB stick. I did feel somewhat consoled in that the bods I'd ripped off were at least as stupid as I'd been.

Length? 133.22MM according to the Intel Specification.

YS
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 17:45, 1 reply)

Every little helps...
This scam works, we've been dining free for yonks. Take meat/fish that has just been reduced to 1/2 price, and scan it through the self scan. For some reason at our local branch they keep both barcodes visible, so you scan the higher price one, and feign dismay when you realise you've been charged double what you should have been. Get the bill checked over by customer services and Tescos have to refund double the difference... which means it's free.

Or this.. not tried it but I reckon it would work..

Buy a bottle of Dom Perignon.. (go on.. treat yourself, it's £80) and a bottle of cheap cava. Drink the Dom, get gash back, fingers crossed ;)... then empty the cava into the Dom bottle and leave it open for a day or so.. then take it back.. and say it's off. No one who works in Tescos is likely to a)have tasted the real McCoy b)be able to work out it's cava. . Occasion spoiled, don't want a replacement...Refund please...
(Countryslicker, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 16:46, 2 replies)

more Tesco Scammage
I used to work at tesco about 5 years ago back when i was 17. i'm always on the lookout for a scam wherever i go, and this was a particularly good one.. anyway. as someone loads their weekly shop onto the belt, i quickly scan it for an expensive item, e.g a bottle of Vodka, and wirte the barcode down on a bit of paper. put all their shopping through and total it up. let's say it comes to £110, they give me the £110, i run the transaction through, qucikly open and shut the till, and as they are still packing their bags, i quickly cancel the transaction, void the vodka off, and run it through again with the vodka voided off, so the whole shop is now say £100. I give them their orignal receipt from the 1st transaction, with the vodka on, still showing £110. so as far as they know, it's all normal. i throw away the 2nd receipt with the voided vodka. so now i have £10, left over as the till thinks the shop was only £100. Which i put in my pocket. the tills not down, but the stock is short. as you can imagine such small discrepancies in stock in a huge supermakret are probably put down to theft, breakages etc. Used to take home about an extra £100 a day on top of my wages from this scam!!
(boosh, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 16:27, 1 reply)

botanic ripoff
not really proud of it now that i read it..but hey we were young, stupid and poor..etc

in my city's botanic garden there used to be a gigantic Hemp tree..of course not the right breed for smoking, (used for ropes and stuff).
but the leaves looked & smelled pretty much like the real deal..one night a bunch of friends and I jumped over the garden walls, cut the whole thing (about 4 meters high) we manage to "sort of " fold it in three and place it in the trunk of the 2cv.
later that night we dried it by stuffing leaves into the microwave oven, after about 3 minutes you had like a square kilo of dried "marijane"

we then went on a selling spree on the local coast that summer, visiting various Posh campsites..of course we had some good weed to smoke & make people confident with buying from us.
we sold nearly everything over a few days, some people even asking for more (WTF?..that thing would give you the biggest headache and no hight AT ALL)...on a few occasions we had to run real fast though.
=/
( olivier8 (euroloon), Tue 23 Oct 2007, 15:33, Reply)

Watch man
Last Friday (before I had even chance to read this weeks QOTW) as if by magic and a very similar MO to other scams in this thread, for the first time someone tried a con on me. Whilst on my way to purchase a parking ticket approached by a smart gentleman in a very shiney new BMW 5 series. Apparently he was a sales Rep, selling Porsche and other premium branded watches that he had left over, that he was willing to let go very cheap, apparently they weren't stolen or anything like that either! (Nor are they in fact worth the £400 odd that they claim, in fact having a cheapo quartz mechanism and being worth about £10, not such a bargain at the knock down price of £50 after all)

Needless to say I didn't participate.

Unfortunately for him though I was an off-duty rozzer and so noted his number plate before calling the local nick to come and deal with him.

Just goes to show they don't know who they're approaching.

Also goes to show for a brand new 5 series he must be selling a lot of naff watches!
(Titanix, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 15:26, 6 replies)

Trains, GNER, haha!
I once conned GNER into paying for a taxi to take me from Motherwell to Oxenholme at a cost of £250. How is this a con? Well the train I was on was late enough to make the connection *almost* impossible but not quite... and I decided that emptying my bladder was more important. Then having missed the last train I went blubbing to the Station Manager and persuaded him it was their fault for not holding the train or having signs in the station or anything.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 14:46, 9 replies)

Ieeee haven't eeeeeeten for threeeeee dayyyyyss..
When I lived just behind Neumarkt in Cologne, I used to have to walk down a street that was an infamous panhandler area to get to my flat.

One of the beggars was a Turk, who would come up to you, and in a pathetic squeaky voice, would beg for money, as he hadn't eaten for three days.

The first time he did this, I happened to have been to the backerei, and so I handed him a roll. He hasn't eaten in three days, right? Wrong. He threw it in the gutter and walked away in disgust.

Thing is, he wasn't too intelligent and kept approaching me. And I kept taking the piss out of him. "Three days? It was three days yesterday. And the day before that. Or are you nominating three specific days in the past month?"
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 14:34, Reply)

Talking of toilets
If you have a dump at work every day (which takes say 5 minutes, making sure you do it outwith lunchtime or break time), then that adds up to 18-20 hours of not working over the course of a year.

So not only are you being paid to shit, you also save money by not having to buy so many toilet rolls for use at home.

Take that, evil corporate entities!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 14:32, 16 replies)