.
Tooth HURTY?

Meh.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 13:51, Reply)

next question?
not until two thirty.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Fri 10 Nov 2006, 13:21, Reply)

Guilty pleasures
'Right' thought I, 'I'll print off some of the 'best ofs' from a while back, slope off to t'pub and when I come back, there'll be a new QOTW to get my teeth into.

So I went off with 'Guilty pleasures' and 'There was no need for that' and I've spent the last hour sipping a pint while giggling to myself. Ah me, my guilty pleasure is sitting in a pub, on my own, with something good to read and drink on a Friday.

...it's the little things.

Anyway, so where's this new question eh? eh? eh?

p.s. it would be eggstremely silly of me to engineer a yolk about eggs at this point, so I won't.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 13:20, Reply)

Fuck Humpty
Where's the next QOTW?
(frankspencer, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 13:03, Reply)

So
.
Not only was Humpty Dumpty pushed but he was also setup by someone else!

The plot thickens.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:50, Reply)

my learned friend legless
makes a well-reasoned but inherently limited point that reminds one of that appalling joke:

Four researchers are travelling up to Edinburgh from London. Out the train window they see a black sheep grazing on the hillside.

"Look," says the parapsychologist, "all the sheep in Scotland are black."

The biologist says, "No, we can only say at least one of the sheep in Scotland is black.

"No, says the physicist, "the most we can say is that one of the sheep in Scotland is black on one side."

But the mathematician has the last word:

"One of the sheep in Scotland is black on one side — some of the time."

Or in other words, just because this humpty is an egg doesn't prove they are all eggs...

bring on the new QOTW quick quick i just bored myself to death but you can save yourselves...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:49, Reply)

Ah, but ...
Eggs can also not ascend walls of their own volition, conseqeuntly falling and causing fatal injury. So the arms point is a bit of moot point.
(frankspencer, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:46, Reply)

FrankSpencer
.
With respect mate, you're talking out of your bottom.

Eggs ain't got arms so can't carry anything.....

HTH
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:35, Reply)

Public Health Warning
Please note that eggs can carry both salmonella and bird flu.
(frankspencer, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:31, Reply)

Bloody hell..
Do you get the feeling we're treading water at all?
(luckymcdanger, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:31, Reply)

Engineers vs common sense
as an engineer myself I feel obliged to draw attention to the terrible lapse in health and safety standards that led to the fall of humpty dumpty from the wall in the first place. where were the toe boards and guard rails? safety harnesses?

your site will be shut down if the HSE get wind of it mate!!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:29, Reply)

Legless Vs Lawyers
Ah but as humpty is writing on here, and he claims that he is indeed an egg, then I think we can take it as read as to his eggishness.

I know witness testimony is often unreliable but as an egg *and* an engineer I think it's safe to assume that he knows what he's talking about.

Now where's the new QOTW?

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:13, Reply)

lawyers -v- engineers
ah yes, but nowhere in the nursery rhyme does it state that the original humpty was in fact an egg. this is due to the illustrations which have traditionally been annexed to the said piece of work which have permeated the common social interpretation of the rhyme.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 12:01, Reply)

Humpty Vs Engineers
Beg to differ....

I was given to the horses first... and THEN the king's men...

I mean really... who on earth would give an egg to a HORSE for re-constructive surgery?? and then the king's men... a bunch of shoe-size IQ'd gorillas on horse-back... Those guys were useless anyway.

engineers... now.. we'd have put me back together.. erm... weird scentence... but with extra carbon fibre probably...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 10 Nov 2006, 11:50, Reply)

DIY orthodontics
When I was little I had a gap between my front teeth which I *hated* with a vengeance. Got told by my dentist that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my otherwise perfectly straight teeth and I would never need braces or anything, which I suppose I ought to have been grateful for. But I *hated* my gap and wanted the damn thing closed. If my dentist wasn't going to refer me to an orthodontist I'd just have to do it myself.

So I borrowed my dad's pliers* and inched my teeth a little closer together every day... Bloody stupid of me really since these were adult teeth and if I'd buggered them up I'd have been in serious trouble, but I was nine years old and didn't know any better. Anyway, it worked - my front teeth are now gap free and still in perfect condition.

And the moral of the story is, orthodontists are total cowboys - it's nothing you can't do yourself with a pair of pliers.

* He didn't know about it - my parents are not that irresponsible.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 11:12, Reply)

My dentist said I'd never have any trouble with my teeth


Evidently, he's a lying bastard
( Argh-wrath ... is a very lame Glorantha joke, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 11:03, Reply)

Ah Humpty
.
I would have mentioned engineers but didn't want to bring you down.

I mean, they couldn't put *you* back together again.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 8:51, Reply)

gaaaaahhhh
Still the same QOTW.... it's like having teeth pulled.

Legless... you forgot to mention Engineers :o(
*sniff*

*throws little engineer trantrum* (involves throwing lots of bits of paper, a calculator and a couple of devices that most people didn't know existed)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 10 Nov 2006, 8:28, Reply)

In addition to "4 Years of Continuous Pain"...
Once whilst having a mould taken of my lower jaw, my dentist was prodding around to make sure it was pushed in properly. He accidentally prodded one of my sublingual salivary glands in the process.

Cue a spectacular jet of saliva arcing gracefully a good six feet across the room and hitting his assistant in the back of the neck.

GO SPIT GLANDS!!!!!
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 0:03, Reply)

Why is it that ...
... whenever you change dentists they; tap your teeth ... speak to their assistant in code ... take an x-ray and then tell you that

ALL YOUR FILLINGS NEED REPLACING???

Piecework? Surely not?
(lozzzz, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 21:49, Reply)

Calfderno...
...I am not without empathy. Having worked in a hospital (albeit as a pen-pushing management bureaucrat bleeding the very lifeblood from the NHS etc etc) I can appreciate that a number of your patients are utter turds.

Thanks to the NHS, until the end of the month I am "between jobs". And to my utter shame I have been watching ITV2 sewer-rat Jeremy Kyle. So you'll have to pardon my outrage. Whilst I meant every word, it was somewhat underpinned by my own feelings of being sullied.

On the upside, if you are unemployed you get to watch Judge Judy later in the afternoon. Fucking get IN.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 20:12, Reply)

Calfderno
...

Welcome to B3ta.

I can be a bad tempered twunt at times as well. Stick around and find out what we're really like. Sick, twisted senses of humor needed around here.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 19:46, Reply)

I've always had lovely dentists
myself (except for a student dentist once) but my little boy's "specialized pediatric" dentist takes the effing cake. Poor kid has paper thin enamel on his molars and is doomed to a lifetime of crowns, caps and bridges. My own dentist told me it was better to go to someone with more experience and sent us to Dr. Mongele. "Highly recommended" He started out without a word and when James protested, told him he wasn't being a very good boy. Keep in mind James is 3. James was scared and tried to call for help. (Dr. Mong refused to let me stand in the room) I hear the commotion and come in just in time to see Mongo grab James, hiss, "Don't be such a baby!" and stab the needle into his mouth.

Since then, James -who is 11 now- is so needle-phobic I have had to give him vaccinations and has refused stitches when he probably should have had them. Two weeks ago, he had a severe reaction to his allergy shot and was arguing with the nurse about getting adrenalin while his throat is closing! I took the syringe out of her hand and just nailed him while he was struggling to talk.

I could just smack that evil dentist.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 19:10, Reply)

continuation of treatment
I guess I did rant on a little, and I imagine that in reality most of you b3tans are the type of patients I like treating, being I would guess mostly quite intellegent, reasonable good humoured people. My issue is with the thankless scallies who make up 8/10ths of the population.

Yeah maybe my views are a little draconian and I am a bit jaded sometimes, but often a patient feels better when they leave my surgery than when they came in and that makes me a happy man.

Also my working hours do not allow me to regularly view Trisha and Jeremy Kyle, though I understand that they do make compelling telly.
(Calfderno, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 18:32, Reply)

had an X-ray of my teeth done at the dentist
a while back, this was shortly after a number of nasty broken-noses and one fractured cheekbone from rugby.

Dentist told me i had wonky nostrils and should probably have the bone sorted so it was no longer blocking my sinuses.

Not bothered, not been able to breathe out of both nostrils at the same time since, suffer numerous sinus infections and colds a year.

Should have listened to my dentist.

Apologies for everything, length, boredom level, blockages etc. I truly am sorry
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 18:23, Reply)

not sticking up for dentists
my previous dentist (it is well known) had a patient die in the chair!
although this was an unfortunate & unavoidable incident (as the lady in question had a very severe allergic reaction to the anaesthetic) it kinda made me wary.

Although a friendly chap he never seemed to wait long enough for me to go numb & would just press ahead with whatever treatment was due ( which was usually a filling as I was a big sweetie eater back then) while I was saying/whimpering/screaming.. YES. I CAN FEEL THAT ALOT!!!

I am now registered with the only other dentist in my area who agreed to take NHS patients - as I would have to sell my body & all my belongings to afford treatment otherwise - which is a teaching practice. Needless to say I have been treated by some very nervous individuals, which I find does not inspire me to be calm........
every time I have to visit the dentist now I get a super rush of adrenaline as soon as I sit in the chair. Irrational fear of course but that doesn't stop me needing to take a shower after every dental treatment from the copious amount of clammy fear sweat it brings on (yes icky I know, but true :( )

so sometimes it is the fault of the dentist as to why people don't like going. I know my earlier days of sweetie munching would lead to this, but my subsequent experiences have led to it being a very nerve racking & unpleasant (not to mention soggy) experience.

If you have a good dentist be very very glad, as the ones in my area are either novices or scary...

last time I went to the dentists they recommended filling one of my back teeth (for about the 8th time, as each time they drilled & filled it would just fall out and take a bit more of the tooth with it - and by this time, was quite painful too) I insisted they just took it out. The dentist was surprised at my request but agreed it really was touch & go if he could save it or not so took it out. He also seem genuinely surprised that it was already wobbly (what with most of the top part of the tooth broken off.......!). He was kind tho & didnt charge me for the subsequent repair to my gum & follow up appointment I needed due to the horrible stinky infection that was the result of said tooth removal. so kind.

ewww im all clammy from just writing this now - time for a shower :S

Although I have no penis, I love the length & girth :)

Cats (really doesn't smell like a tramp usually)
( catswhiskers the cats mother, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 17:29, Reply)

I've got an NHS dentist...
...which my wife forced me to join up with, much against my better judgement fear of dentists.

First time I'd been in 15 years, and apart from a bit of a polish of the bottom ones (oo-er) nothing was wrong. My wife was disgusted.

Mind you, I've just had my labret pierced so I might have disintegrating gum/tooth stories for you in a few months.

Don't vote for this - it's shit, I know. I just wanted to share.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 17:27, Reply)

Theif!
I remeber when i was about 12 and I had really badly uneven teeth through sucking my finger for about 10 years. My dentist had decided that a brace was the best option and that teeth would have to be lost...

After about 4 teeth my mum became suspicious and was worried that all the anistectic was leaving me with a twisted face...

After about a week she told me i was leaving and going to another dentist... why? because according to mummy crumble, he was stealing my teeth as he got more money everytime he took one of mine.

Tell you what, fucking scared me for about 5 years!

(ps..go legless!)
( squiddylyd Once you pop you can't stop!, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 17:03, Reply)

im frightened of the dentist
a year ago i went for the first time in three years because my tooth had disintegrated and was causing me pain.

Dentist took one look said itll have to come out and youve got a fair few problems with your other teeth which we will leave till next time. (id write about the trauma in detail but you know the score)

half an hour later and 90£ lighter, i decided not to go to the dentist again. It is not cost effective. I am a trainee accountant.

*creates a formula to forecast how many years itll take to be on a wage good enough to afford a dentist*
(Salbo_baggins, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 17:02, Reply)