being sent
a photo of the teacher i was in love with 100's of years ago when i was at school.

the photo was from the "real manchester" website. of him with lots of other men. no women in sight.

not surprisingly it turns out this is a gay website. good for him. not so good for me.

also realising i am never going to be 5'4 and platinum blonde with a lovely a-cup chest that doesn't need a bra and lets you wear polonecks without looking like a fat twat or strappy tops without looking like a tart...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 1:38, 30 replies)

A-cup.
*Sigh* Oh how my life would have been perfect if I had stopped at an a-cup.
( girlinthehole, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 8:29, closed)

You want to be 5'4"?
Why would you want to be short?
( Kroney, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 8:30, closed)

petite
not short!

although as i'm only 5'6 i suppose that ambition is nearer than the other 2.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 9:38, closed)

5'6"
is infinitely better than 5'4".

A more pertinent question would be "Why do you want to be short*er*? Sorry, petit*er*?"
( Kroney, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 9:56, closed)

Great Christ Woman!
If you're half as attractive as you are in your profile photo, you really shouldn't be remotely distressed about your appearance.

(I'm not hitting on you here, I just find it awkward when people's self-perception gets skewed from reality.)
(not here, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 10:03, closed)

^bless!
now if only the world were all blurry and black and white like the photo, i wouldn't have a problem!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 10:09, closed)

I have daughters like this
Ones curvy, and wants to be a beanpole, and the other one is a very nice looking young lady, but wants more curves. The one with curly hair wants straight hair, and the one with straight hair- you get the picture.
For what its worth, I'd curl out one up beside you. ;)
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 10:48, closed)

women always want
what they haven't got! tits are a good example of that. those with small boobs see curves and a deep cleavage. they don't see the fact that the underwear isn't as pretty and sometimes you get backache and there are loads of things you just can't wear.

those with big boobs look longingly at the kind of clothes that just won't fit them nicely. for instance, if i buy a swimming costume that fits around the bum, it is really indecent around the boobs. if i buy one that fits around the boobs, it gapes open at the bottom and shows my ass and mimsy to the public. neither is a good look! but friends who are lucky enough to be flatchested just moan that they look like a boy in a bikini...

and as for curls-v-straight hair... gah!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 10:55, closed)

That's why you buy
a bikini instead. Then you can mix and match to make it fit properly.

I wanted curly hair so badly when I was younger as mine is poker straight. But when experimenting with curling irons, curlers and other instruments of torture, I'm very glad now to not have to faff about with it so much and prefer it straight.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 11:18, closed)

Frankly you've all got it easy
have you ever tried to find a bikini that fits around your wedding tackle?

Never gonna happen. Consequently I never feel that comfortable on the beach.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 11:35, closed)

A-cup?
I don't think any guy above the age of 12 likes girls that small. We want at least *some* jiggle.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 11:47, closed)

At the end of the day, does it really matter?
That might sound a tad harsh, but as many have pointed out, each of us yearns to be different to the shape we actually are.

I was sat in the office with my colleagues on Friday who were eagerly pouring over pictures of WAGs at the Euro 2008 tournament. Now, the sad fact is that some women are going to berate themselves because they aren't a spray-tanned size zero WAG with hoopy earrings (and no doubt, no undercrackers either). However, I found myself completely unmoved. I'm a heterosexual guy in his late twenties mid thirties, but my ideal of femininity is far removed from the stereotypical WAG.

So at the risk of sounding a little patronising, you've got to learn to love what you've got. Most people with any depth to their soul are going to find themselves drawn to the same. Be thankful that you're not a WAG with all the depth of a puddle.

Remember I know you in the real world outside of b3ta
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sun 29 Jun 2008, 12:21, closed)

Big boobs are neither use nor ornament.
Sure you'll have guys ogling at you like the sex object that you are but they don't have to live with them, day in and day out. Backache, shoulder ache from the straps, you can't run without the aid of wearing two sports bras and when you get older they droop no matter how careful you were in your youth to keep them up.

Although I don't hate mine as much as I used to, I wouldn't wish them on anyone.
( girlinthehole, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 13:16, closed)

rachelswipe
All the blokes on here fancy you. You must be doing something right.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 29 Jun 2008, 14:22, closed)

ha
i wish! i'm just generally whinging really. i'd LOVE to look like ally mcbeal or jennifer aniston, maybe. and that's never going to happen!

then again, i'm never going to get a pink hoverboard like in back to the future either. and by the time they make them, my zimmer frame won't fit on there.

bloody television...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)

I'm still puzzled
as to why she wants to be shorter. Tits be damned.
( Kroney, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 14:57, closed)

Just remember
Ally Mcbeal had to shrink to minute proportions to be on that show and was consequentially labelled 'Lollypop head'. Jennifer Aniston has had a nose job and god know's how much botox and other surgery and still couldn't keep Brad Pitt. Be happy with what you've got as you're a stunner Rachel.

The mind really does boggle as to why anyone would want to be shorter. Unless you're a bona fide Amazonian of course and just scare everyone.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 15:33, closed)

^Bona fide Amazonian.
Meh!
( girlinthehole, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 15:48, closed)

also 5"6
most my friends are 5"3 though.

and yet, when we go out, the short blokes always make a beeline for me. what is THAT? the weirdest case of sod's law.
(ladyintheradiator, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 16:14, closed)

You do NOT want to be shorter.
Really. I'm 4'10" and sick to the back teeth of guys who think they're hilarious leaning down to me as they pass me in the street for a better look at the "hobbit"/"dwarf"/"midget" - yeah mate, I'm just the right height to rip it off...

I do sympathise with the norks though, I'd prefer mine to be smaller - just enough to not look weird in high-necked tops (though I'm sure Mr Maladicta would have something to say about this) and to be thinner, so's to look better in the odd corset...
( Maladicta, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 16:33, closed)

@ pjm
"Remember I know you in the real world outside of b3ta"

you make it sound like a threat!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 19:06, closed)

@ancrenne
Normally the rantyness would make me get bored and wander off.

But you're fit so I'll sit here and listen whilst unsubtly trying to look down your top.

*runs away while he still has functioning naughty bits*
(Bazongaloid, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 19:55, closed)

@ancrenne
There are lots more important things than appearances but hell, my tits sometimes really get on my tits.
( girlinthehole, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 20:04, closed)

@ ancrenne
usually it's hardly my greatest disappointment.

but when i posted it last night after an evening of smug married couples, which always makes me half delirious with greatest joy that i am not like them, and half savage with fear that i never will be, it was on my mind that ally and jennifer have their pick!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 20:09, closed)

A lovely A-cup chest..?
Surely not..?

I realise I'm sounding a bit shallow here, but...

Having said that I had a colleague who, on hearing somebody describe their breasts as being 'too big' turned round and exclaimed, "they can never be too big".

Not something I agree with personally.

Erm, I probably had some wise words to come out with here, but the wine has put paid to that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:47, closed)

a-cup breasts
you can have mine! and then deal with everyone saying 'well, REAL women have curves' implying i am some sort of fake, possiby robotic woman. boo.
oh well, if it were the other way around we'd all still be bitching.
(charlottebronte stalking through the moors, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 7:55, closed)

5'6''
I'm 5'6'' and always wanted to be shorter.

I don't want to lose the boobs though. They serve me well. And get me served in bars.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 21:21, closed)

@ James
Don't say that! I've only just started believing the lies of "any more than a handful's a waste!"

...shame most blokes have big hands...

..sob!!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:44, closed)