My biggest disappointment this week
Was getting in to work today and finding out my boss isn't going on holiday until tomorrow.

_{Post is of course a thinly veiled attempt to start today's chat thread}
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 8:57, 238 replies)

Pffft...
Rubbish.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 9:06, closed)

My boss is on his third holiday in four weeks today.
It's massively annoying when I do actually need to talk to him, and his working week seems to consist of "every other Thursday, or Wednesday if I can be bothered".
( Thinker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 9:24, closed)

Thinly veiled?
It's possitively transparant : )


Goormorning K2K6, how has the day been so far?
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 9:38, closed)

Morning folks
I'm tired and grumpy and managed 9 hours without a cigarette. I was asleep for seven of those. Willpower? None at all.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 9:40, closed)

I just had a half hour phone call
from a mate and former work colleague who's just been made redundant. So it's not been too good so far.

Anyway, good morning all.

Even you, Kaol. :-)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 9:58, closed)

K2k6
That's a bit rubbish.
Hope things work out...
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:01, closed)

@Kaol
Yup, not the best news for him. Although he's been given a decent redundancy package, so he's not going to be destitute.

Can we talk about something cheery, please?

Where's HLT? She's usually good for lightness of topic and dispensing of cake!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:10, closed)

Dunno...
Happy stuff...

Oh! I just had a muffin for breakfast, which was nice!
And I had a call from my friend asking if I want to go to the staff preview screening of Hancock with him tonight at the cinema he works at.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:14, closed)

*strolls in*
Morning all!

Did I hear my name mentioned?

*distributes cake in manner of Marie Antoinette*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:21, closed)

Aye
Can't beat a good muffin in the morning.

Where is everyone?

Edit - Ah, HLT has arrived! Morning.

*munches cake*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:21, closed)

Ancrenne won't
Be on today.
Dunno about everyone else.

*waves at HLT*
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:24, closed)

'lo K2K6/Kaol
*waves*

Hm, lightness of topic... *attempts to stay vaguely on topic*

My biggest disappointment this week has been driving to work on empty this morning and failing to run out of petrol, thus depriving me of the opportunity to do a little flirting with a nice AA man. Bah.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:26, closed)

So, Kaol
What have you done with Ancrenne then?

*suspiciouses*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:33, closed)

I can't answer that question...
A gentleman never tells!

Today she's working for a friend's company, no 'net access.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:35, closed)

No net access?
She'll be desperate for b3ta by tonight then.

@HLT - Keep driving and you'll run out of petrol eventually. In the meantime, you can flirt with us!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:46, closed)

She will indeed!
And then I'm fucking off to the cinema for midnight.
However will she cope? :p
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:48, closed)

A company with no net access!
Are they living in the dark ages.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:50, closed)

Nah, she's outside
In the sun, playing with cables.
As far as I know, anyway...

Please ignore the fact that I know all of that.
I'm a damn good stalker.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:53, closed)

@ Kaol
You ARE a good stalker!

@k2k6 - would do, but don't want to run out on the way home, as that would eat into my evening, and i'll be too tired to flirt by then.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:55, closed)

*strolls in through saloon doors*
*Surveys Bar B3ta*


Morning all!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:56, closed)

'lo bob!
how you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:58, closed)

I am
The best stalker. Ever.
I even touched her cats.

Hi Bob!
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:59, closed)

I've found the beautiful people!
Morning my lovelies. This conversation seems nice so far, and yet Kaol is here...what's gone wrong?
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:00, closed)

Touched her what?
I've never heard them called that before.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:01, closed)

I am all of the good, thank you kindly for asking.
Although I am about to hit my computer (it's time for the quarterly reports to be compiled...) and swear a lot. How is everyone here today?

And here's a question: if you could only eat one kind of cake for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Mine would be carrot cake. With lots of frosting. Nom.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:02, closed)

Her cats.
I was a bit scared of them though.
I'm a bit crap with animals.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:03, closed)

Morning clendrix, hlt
*hugs*
*Too tired for witticism*

*edit* @Bob

Strange, I had this discussion with a friend last night who shared your opinion.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:03, closed)

Yes.
Carrot cake forever.
with heaps and heaps of frosting.
and little tiny marzipan carrots.

edit: morning BK, clendrix
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:05, closed)

*enjoys BK hug*
Is meringue cake? If so, a meringue with lots of strawberries and cream.

If not, date and walnut.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:06, closed)

But NO walnuts.
Walnuts are evil nuts. They look like mummified balls. Taste even worse (probably).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:06, closed)

Hmmm...
I don't know...
Maybe coffee and maple sponge, with creamy icing!

@Bob: They don't taste worse, trust me!
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:07, closed)

^^
I'm all about the vanilla slice, myself.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:08, closed)

Kaol
Now I'm intruiged. How do you know what mummified balls taste like?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:09, closed)

Walnuts are Wrong
Why did they bother putting them on top of Walnut Whips? Everyone I know* just picks them off and eats the whip bit.



*alright, just me
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:10, closed)

@hlt
I haven't even clapped eyes on a walnut whip for years.
I thought they'd gone the way of white dog shit.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:12, closed)

HLT
No, I do that.

I also eat kitkats by nibbling the chocolate off, and then delicately separating each layer of wafer and eating them individually.

With jaffa cakes, I eat the chocolate, then the cake bit, then am left with a disc of orange jelly to suck until it dissolves into mush.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:13, closed)

You know they had that
Exhibition at the Dome recently?
The Egyptian one? (I dunno how to spell Tutenkhamun or whatever)

They needed someone with amazing knife skills to partially un-wrap the wrappings on the body, to take DNA samples.

So they asked me to come in to help.
I sliced away, happily, and unwrapped him from the waist down.

(In mummies, the most lively DNA for testing is in the nuts)

So yeah, his nuts where there, next to my hand, 4000 years old, looking for all the world like a walnut.
And I like walnuts, a lot.

So I snapped off one brittle, dusty knacker, and popped it in my mouth.

It DID NOT taste like a walnut.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:14, closed)

Always glad to find i'm not alone
Having thought about it, in depth, for the last 45 seconds, I have come to the conclusion that the walnut on walnut whips is there so they didn't have to call them just "whips".

Phwoar, Whips!

and have you ever tried biting both ends off a kitkat finger then sucking tea up through it like some sort of melty straw of pleasure?

I haven't personally, I would never do such a thing.

*does big innocent eyes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:15, closed)

Walnuts
I always thought they looked like little dried up brains!

Morning everybody,
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:18, closed)

^^
Guten morgen Herr Doktor.

I've always wanted to say that for some reason.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:19, closed)

Biscuit munching
My sister used to dissect biscuits to eat them when we were young, so I made a point of eating them in the conventional manner. So even now, when I see someone biting the chocolate off, I'm silently tutting!

Oh, and to answer the cake question, possibly fudge doughnuts, as I suggested to someone (BK?) yesterday. They are indeed the confection of the gods.

And what's wrong with walnuts, Bob F? At least they don't tend to come with shells on.

_{unlike pistachios}
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:20, closed)

@Boss Keloid
Glad I could help in your quest for wierd sayings.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:21, closed)

@k2k6
Where can I obtain these mythical doughnuts of fudge?

and what, exactly, will this information cost me?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:23, closed)

Walnut whips
I eat the walnuts first, before the whippy bit.

I'm also the only person I know who doesn't remove, but actually eats and enjoys, the gherkins on a McBurger.

Am I odd?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:23, closed)

@Herr Doktor
Next on my list is an opportunity to say, "It is no laughing mattaaarrrr" in the style of Gary Oldman in Dracula.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:24, closed)

I'm not sure if it's a good thing,
But I get the feeling I could post anything, and you lot would either happily ingore it, or laugh and say "Ha, that Kaol and his stories..."

EDIT: There's a milkshake shop in Brighton, where you can have pretty much anything blended into a milkshake.
I had a maple syrup and walnut whip one.
It was orgasmic.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:24, closed)

mcGherkins!
give me your gherkins!

now!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:25, closed)

@hlt
I think he mentioned yesterday a little bakers' in St. Andrews where he purchased the fudgy grails.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:26, closed)

@HLT
There's a baker based in Fife and Dundee called Fisher and Donaldson, who make the world's best fudge doughnuts.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:26, closed)

I thought I'd found a kindred spirit in K2k6
due to his tolerance of the much maligned walnut.

But he eats the pickley bits in burgers.

*back to travelling a lonely path*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:26, closed)

@Boss Keloid & Mc Gerkins
Hell yeah I eat them. They're the best bit of the burger.

EDIT : Well I see if I can give you the opportunity Boss
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:27, closed)

can anyone draw Venn diagrams and post them?
based on like/dislike of walnuts and gherkins?
can we throw in marmalade as well, just for fun?

marmalade yes.
gherkins yes.
walnuts NOOOOOO!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:28, closed)

I was once in a restaurant
in a little place called Parry Sound, in Ontario.

We were waiting for our meal when the waitress came over with a dish of 'complimentary gherkins'.

Most bizarre.

I ate one though. Sorry, clendrix!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:29, closed)

I like gerkins in burgers.
I just don't like Mcdonalds burgers.

Drinking coffee up through the opposing corners of Timtam biscuits is the drinking method of the gods.

And I don't like walnuts because they're too bitter. At least pistachios have a nice savoury flavour. And make excellent ice cream.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:30, closed)

Ooh, St Andrews!
Might go there instead of Alnwick tomorrow. But the tennis will be on! I have to watch my adopted fellow countryman lose fight valiantly to stay in Wimbledon! And I have to go for a swim! (I'm all dirty).

edit:k2k6 - did the gherkins say nice things about you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:30, closed)

Fisher and Donaldson fudge doughnuts
Oh I wonder if the would travel well? If they do I'll have to get my mate to send a load down!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:31, closed)

Morning all!
Sorry I'm late, there was a crash on the Nikkei last night and I've spent the last few hours shifting my bail bonds out of Tokyo.*





*may contain lies and things I know nothing about.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:32, closed)

I fuckin' love
Pickled stuff.
Nothing better that knocking together a tea of bread, pickled beetroot, onions, gherkins and capers.
Then some sauerkraut, horseradish and peppered cold meats.

And some ice-cold vodka...
Mmmmmmm...
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:32, closed)

Fudge donughts
If you can't be bothered to go to Scotland, there's a lovely place in Oundle (Northants) called Trendalls, that does fudge donughts. It's a bit far to go just for some baked goods though.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:33, closed)

morning Devil!
*waves*

@ Kaol - don't forget the cheese!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:33, closed)

Morning DiT
I trust you will take more care with your storage spaces today.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:35, closed)

Cheese?
Sometimes...
But not that important.

By the way, can you pickle tomatoes?
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:35, closed)

Fudge doughnuts
may be a bit squishy for postal transit, I fear.

Maybe I could bring some to the Edinburgh bash next year, if you speak nicely to me....

*awaits stampede of new b3tards wanting to attend*

@HLT - I did wonder that about the gherkins too, but they were mute.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:36, closed)

hmmm
not sure, but you sure can dry them in the sun or turn 'em into chutney.


Mmm. Chutney.

K2K6 - YES! BRING THEM! *nices* please?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:36, closed)

Kaol
I think you can pickle anything. All it takes is time, experimentation, and lots of jars.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:36, closed)

@Kaol
Do you like kimchi? It's Korea's answer to sauerkraut, only much spicier.

I got fed up of it very quickly.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:37, closed)

Yes!
Mmmm... I do like a good bit of chutney.
Especially Green Tomato chutney.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:37, closed)

@ Clendrix
There's barriers up around that particular 'area'. :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:37, closed)

kimchi?
Never had it!

When I was in Prague, they had this amazing pickled red cabbage, it was quite sweet, and a bit sticky.Not been able to find it here anywhere :(
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:38, closed)

@K2K6
you ate the mute gherkins?

meanie!

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:41, closed)

@K2k6
Edinburgh bash you say?
Can definitely make that one. Places to crash etc.

Looking into the bank holiday bash. Could be feasible.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:42, closed)

Fudge doughnuts
I may just have to try, Edinburgh Bash you say! I would come up from London for that, but I hate Edinburgh, it's worse than Dundee AFAIC!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:46, closed)

@Kaol
Kimchi is half-putrefied, briny, pickled, spiced vegetable matter which has been stored in a buried earthenware pot for 6 months.

It's actually quite palatable, but after 5 days of eating it at every meal (including breakfast time!), it becomes rather less appealing.

@HLT- The gherkins couldn't speak, so how was I to know they didn't want to be eaten?

@Others - April 11th 2009. See HLT's profile for the link. I'll do a count beforehand and pick up some F&D FDs on the way.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:51, closed)

^^
Bonus! Can stop at my parents on the way up, and my best friend lives in Dalkeith.
That's working out pretty well.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:56, closed)

Noooooooooooo!
Can't go to Edinburgh!

I want to indulge in some fudge-related activities.

*sulks*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:56, closed)

fudge-related activities?
I've got 15p.
That'll buy you a Fudge around these parts.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:58, closed)

* Slams open swing doors on the B3TA Saloon *
* Glances around moodily as if looking for the drifter that killed my paw *

* Falls on arse as doors swing back and hits him full in the face *

* Ambles in looking less moody, definitely more sheepish, and rubbing nose *

Morning all. At this moment, I am sitting 35 floors up a tower block in Paris.

This makes a chance from my usual working environment at this time in the morning, which is sitting half dressed at home, deciding whether to bother shaving, and with the rememants of breakfast strewn around.

Unfortunately, the process of getting me here has involved:

- a 2 hour delay on a one hour flight,
- traffic jams,
- my shaver deciding to switch itself on in the suitcase and running the battery down,
- incompetent hotel staff who, after being specifically asked to confirm something, managed to not do that specific thing.
- An unfortunately large number of French people.

I've never had a good business trip here - so Paris does not hold great affection to me.

Spookily, when I was texting Mrs Fireflier last night bemoaning my transit woes, the phrase "*shakes fist at the gods of traffic*". Came out as "shakes fiat" - which I thought was probably even more relevant.

* Performs live sacrafice of a Fiat to ensure a smooth journey home *
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:58, closed)

I predict
that we edinbashers will emerge hungover, sticky and fat...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:58, closed)

@clendrix
A finger of fudge is just enough...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:59, closed)

@hlt
That works on so many levels.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:00, closed)

Oh Fireflier
you're just trying to make us all feel better about our day.

It's working.

EDIT: K2k6 - only just!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:00, closed)

Wow...
Flier, that sounds all kinds of crap.
At least you're not in France eh?
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:01, closed)

Woo and yay!
As a fine serving of anti-disappointment, it turns out I can come to the August bash after all!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:05, closed)

@HLT
I would imagine that I will emerge from the Edinbash hungover, sticky, fat - and married!

Morning everyone, btw. Ain't it a beautiful day?

*EDIT* yay, Bob's coming to the August bash! What happened, is the wedding off?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:05, closed)

@Bob
If you get as far as Edinburgh next April, there's a fudge doughnut in it for you.

Provided I'm not bankrupt by then.

And hello, DG.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:07, closed)

Morning DG
Hungover, sticky, fat, and married! Always a good combination.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:08, closed)

Davros
I told you, I'm not up for it.
I'm going to avoid it, for tax reasons, for as long as possible.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:08, closed)

The wedding's not off
I just got the wrong date. Oops!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:10, closed)

@k626
I'm sure I'll be up in Ediburgh at some point in the not too distant future. Poss new year in fact: I'm spending Christmas in Glasgow, so might do Ediburgh after with friends.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:10, closed)

@ DG
'lo!

Married, woo! Sticky, woo!

you get the idea...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:12, closed)

HLT
I couldn't possibly have the slightest idea to what you are insinuating being all innocent and 37, like.

Anything that I may have posted on b3ta that dispells this notion of my being an innocent 37 year chap was my ghost writer, OK?

Oh and Kaol - I'm disappointed. We had plans and everything...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:25, closed)

Herr Doktor Lemminge
You seem a good new person!
Some questions:

Would you rather go into space, or have a powerful robotic arm?

Dogs or cats?

If you could save one thing from your burning home what would it be?

Why can't you buy pig milk in the shops?

You have the access code to a satallite defence system. The satallite has a laser with the power and accuracy to incinerate any one person on earth. But only enough juice for one shot. Who do you target, and why?

Anyone else is free to answer these too
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:26, closed)

oooh, questions!
I like questions!

*goes to think about answers*

edit@DG. innocent bollocks!

Answers:

Space please, one way.

Cats, and can I bring mine into space?

mr tulip

Because pig milk is wrong.

Mugabe.

right, devil's questions

I'll look after you when you're poorly.

Duh, every day, silly!

48.3m/s
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:30, closed)

There's some good questions.
I will add, just for the hell of it:

Why would you make a good flatmate?

Will you make us cake?

What is the travelling velocity of a laden swallow?

EDIT:

Robotic Arm!

er, Cats!

Sadly, my new telly. I'd run back in to the flames for many things though, and I'm assuming that the Mrs has escaped herself!

Because pig milk is gross!

Amy Fecking Winehouse.

That is all!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:30, closed)

^
African or European?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:30, closed)

^What?
I don't know that...



*WHUAAAAAAAARRRRGHUUAAAAGGHHHH!!*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:33, closed)

@Kaol
I'd have a trained killer kitten with a robotic arm.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:34, closed)

Hello!
In answer to some of your questions:

My feelings on the space/robot arm question are a matter of record.

Cats.

My newly-stocked toolbox, it makes me feel all manly and possibly I could use some of the contents to fashion a rude shelter from the wreckage.

Because the market is too small, you can get it from here though.

The incompetent fuckwit with the stupid hair from Wilkinson Byrne estate agents in Turnpike Lane. Fucking demand I buy my own furniture and then fill the flat I've just rented with shitty MFI tat, will you? Bitch.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:40, closed)

Answers
I'd have a robotic arm (so long as it was as well as, rather than instead of, my own)

Cats.

Probably my hard drive. Or that folder I have with all my important documents in it.

Because Alfa-Laval don't make a milking machine with 14 cups.

Hmm - difficult. My first thought was George W Bush. Then Robert Mugabe. But Amy Winehouse is a good call! No, I'll stick with Dubya, because he's probably done more harm than good worldwide in the past 7 years.

Edit - DiT's questions:

Because I'm a quiet sort who doesn't get in the way.

Yes. I like cake making. Or I'd at least buy you some fudge doughnuts.

Don't know. How heavily laden is it? And it is the northerly or southerly migration? Or just going home to its nest at teatime?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:40, closed)

@Kaol
Why thanks Kaol, I like to think I'm a new good person, or at least a person!

Would you rather go into space, or have a powerful robotic arm? A powerful robotic arm, which I would use to kill my enemies!

Dogs or cats? Cats FTW.

If you could save one thing from your burning home what would it be? Oh a good one. Since my iPod is in my pocket most of the time I wouldn't have to save my cd/record collection. I will have to say my DVD collection, in all it's cheesey-ness.

Why can't you buy pig milk in the shops? Because it's Teh Poison

You have the access code to a satallite defence system. The satallite has a laser with the power and accuracy to incinerate any one person on earth. But only enough juice for one shot. Who do you target, and why?Russell T. Davies, because he's a Spack-Handed Twat who should never have been let near Dr. Who.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:40, closed)

Afternoon, darlings
Robotic arm!! I want a robotic arm. But I want to keep both my normal ones too. Ok?

How are we all?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:43, closed)

Answers
Would you rather go into space, or have a powerful robotic arm?

*Robot arm - for Wii records*

Dogs or cats? - *more of a cat person*

If you could save one thing from your burning home what would it be? - *cd's, apart from that I'm not really sentimental about anything I on as there's so little*

Why can't you buy pig milk in the shops? - *I.....don't know.*

You have the access code to a satallite defence system. The satallite has a laser with the power and accuracy to incinerate any one person on earth. But only enough juice for one shot. Who do you target, and why?

*Oooh, Cristiano Ronaldo! Immensely punchable, way too talented, and to my massive annoyance, came across as very nice, thoughtful and not too thick in an interview I read. The man must die!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:46, closed)

I say,
Herr Doktor, Russell T is a good shout (Although I can't wait for Steven Moffatt to take over). As is Ronaldo, Boss.

*works on a way to increase lasers power*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:49, closed)

Good answers everyone.
I'd go with:

Robotic arm.

Cats (just).

I'd save myself. You guys are stupid..

Pig milk - Drinking it is an easy way to get a massive dose of tapeworm infection. Also, a sow that's producing milk would rip you into pieces before you got near her nipples.

I'd incinerate the Pope. On Easter Sunday Mass. Haha! Let's see your imaginary boss save you from that, you Nazi scum-bag!
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:50, closed)

@DiT
Hi DiT

Why would you make a good flatmate?Because I drink 'Real Beer^tm' and read B3ta.

Will you make us cake?Yes but you wouldn't eat it!

What is the travelling velocity of a laden swallow?African or European?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:53, closed)

Well,
I'd like the arm, please.

Dogs.

My little data stick.

They sell pig milk in my local shop. It's weird, but nice.

I am going to target my ex-flatmate.

Wookie - I saw a man on the tube this morning wearing a t-shirt that said WOOKIE. He wasn't particularly well groomed though.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:53, closed)

@Kaol
"a sow that's producing milk would rip you into pieces before you got near her nipples"

It's not just lactating sows who do that...

What does pig milk taste like anyway? Is it sweet or cheesy, or something else?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:58, closed)

@ Clendrix
I would like one of these t-shirts, but they have been discontinued.

*cries*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:58, closed)

Herr Doktor...
Hello yourself! :)

Good answers! Although, just for the record, I like Internet Cake, it's just the normal stuff I have a problem with!

Stick around, I think you'll like it here!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:00, closed)

@DiT
What are your feelings on gingerbread if you don't like real cake?

EDIT: Hello everyone :)
( wanderlust, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:03, closed)

Wookie
perhaps you should abandon your fledgling career in woodcraft and go into high quality t-shirt production instead.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:04, closed)

@DiT
I can't wait for moffatt to take over as well. My big problem is what is RTD going to do with Davros and the Daleks in his last fling!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:04, closed)

@DiT
Interweb cakes I can do fine!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:06, closed)

@Herr Doktor
He'll probably gay them up. I lose count of the amount of gay references RTD crowbars in to every episode.

I was stunned on Saturday when the cast of Torchwood turned up and 30 seconds passed without anyone sexing each other.

EDIT: and the problem is, RTD is a great writer. Just look at Casanova. And David Tenant FTW.

@Wanderlust - Not sure, TBH. I'm not much of a cakey/buscuity person. I would make an effort, though!

DOUBLE EDIT TO DIRECT AT RIGHT PERSON! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:07, closed)

@clendrix
I got funny looks nipping to the local shop in my School Shootings Tour T-Shirt the other day.
Probably cos the owner has about 10 children running round the shop at any one time.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:07, closed)

BK - If there were ten kids running around in the shop
I should imagine your t-shirt was getting looks from people inspired!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:13, closed)

@BK
A friend of mine used to have a t-shirt with "The 11 Greatest Uses of Fuck". He also got some disapproving looks, as you can imagine.

I can't remember them all, but some of them were:

"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
"What fucking iceberg?" - Captain of the Titanic
"Who let that fucking woman drive?" - Captain of the Challenger space shuttle
"I thought I could smell fucking petrol" - Nicky Lauda

and my favourite:

"Scattered showers, my fucking arse!" - Noah.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:13, closed)

I shall get my baking hat on
and have a little think about tasty treats to make for friday.
( wanderlust, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:13, closed)

RTD
Is a great writer, just not necessarily a great SF writer. When it comes to SF he's more of an ideas man

However, I'm of the opinion that in general he's done a good job on the show even if some of his scripts were a bit dodgy. But there have been some absolute stand-out classics - the Moff's stuff (bar the madame du pompadour one, which just didn't do a lot for me) being a good example (and YAY to him taking over), Human Nature, Dalek, the Ood 2 parter... I could go on. And I enjoyed Saturday's episode - Davros was superb.

Just personal opinion mind.

Right, back to work. Bye all!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:16, closed)

@K2k6
My favourite:

"Watch him, he'll have some fucker's eye out!"
- King Harold
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:16, closed)

Dr Who
I've thoroughly enjoyed this series, even allowing for Catherine "Bovvered" Tate's annoying presence. However, there were two weak episodes, IMO. The one with the Doctor in the spaceship with the paranoid passengers, and the one a week later with Donna's altered universe.

But last Saturday RTD redeemed himself with the Daleks-and-Davros-laden episode. Top programme.

Edit - @BK - Pfft!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:24, closed)

I rather liked those two episodes myself
Least favourites this year - the first one, and the one with his daughter. Didn't quite hang together for me. But still enjoyable.

Best series yet imho. And I love Catherine Tate!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:31, closed)

RTD
Yes his is a good writer, but I think he should stay away from Sci-Fi.

The Madame du Pompadour episode was a good idea, it was just done in a bad way, it should never have had the historical bent.

EDIT : For the Daleks being wiped out in the Time War, there are a huge number of survivors. WTF was he taking to do something as stupid as that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:34, closed)

Erm
so anyway, cake...
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:35, closed)

@DG
I agree it's the best series to date, but I much preferred Freema Agyeman to Catherine Tate, although to be fair she's been better than I expected.



Did you mention you had cake, clendrix? Yes, please.

Edit - @Herr Doktor - didn't last week's episode say they were all cloned from little bits of Davros, using Dalek Khan's superior intellect or something? There were only 4 daleks left after the time war, IIRC.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:38, closed)

@clendrix
What kind of cake?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:38, closed)

@clendrix
CAKE!

"One poor lad threw up his own pelvis!
It's a fucking disgrace!"

Anyone remember that?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:38, closed)

Dok
A HUGE one of any type.*

*from recognised list of acceptable cakes i.e. not suddenly made-up poo and lettuce cake etc.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:42, closed)

clendrix
Woo Hoo I'm always up for a huge cake!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:51, closed)

@ clendrix
that's a new keyboard you owe me, as I just sprayed the old one with coffee when I read "made-up poo and lettuce cake"

edit: time to work now, byeeeeee!
*snogs everyone*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:53, closed)

@Tulip
Terribly sorry! Just expected Kaol to pop up with some comment about how it could be any type of cake and thus make up something horrendous, which I would then have to eat.

@Doktor - great!

*skips off to find huge cake to share with new friend*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:56, closed)

You're not meant to eat
Poo and lettuce cake?

*stops in horror*

*drops lunch into bin*
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:56, closed)

@clendrix
Would a poo and lettuce cake be suitable for vegetarians if the poo-er was also a veggie?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:56, closed)

ancrenne :D
I just got the strangest look from my boss and I gave out a little squeal of joy to see you are here.

EDIT: and now I have to go :(
( wanderlust, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:01, closed)

@K2k6
vegetarians should certainly eat poo and lettuce cake.

Hello ancrenne!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:01, closed)

'Noon Ancrenne!
No Goat jokes, m'afraid, but I do have this nice cold martini...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:03, closed)

Hi Ancrenne
You've not missed much. Except for the cake. We've had a list of questions from Kaol and DiT, and a Dr Who discussion.

But mostly cake.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:04, closed)

Afternoon all
Virgin have fixed our internet. Woo yay.

I bet you didn't even notice I wasn't here, eh

*sulks*

*sticks tongue out*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:04, closed)

Hi ancrenne!
*snogs*

Oh, and hi TWW!
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:06, closed)

aaaw thanks ancrenne
*snogs*

Busy then?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:08, closed)

Hey ancrenne, TWW
I have just been given a ginger bread man.
And purchased a ticket to see Clutch.

*happies*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:08, closed)

BK
Like the updated profile!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:11, closed)

*prods*, *tickles*
Definitely gingerbread.
It didn't say "fluffeh".

@clendrix

Yeah, I'm hoping it'll give becky a laugh.
It's referring to a gaz conversation last night.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:12, closed)

Gingerbread persons
Maybe gingerbread persons should be made anatomically correct so we could refer to them properly as gingerbread men and women.

Mind you, then we'd have to eat gingerbread willies.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:15, closed)

K2k6
I've eaten worse.

They're all gingerbread men - there are no gingerbread women. It's a freak of nature, all to do with radioactivity in the Pacific in the 40's.

*mind wanders off on a tangent*

*goes to grab mind, aware that it's too small to be out alone*

edit: bye ancrenne

*snogs*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:19, closed)

Bye ancrenne!
*hug*
*offers parting bite of gingerbread*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:19, closed)

@TWW
TMI on the eating thing!

*gets gingerbread man cutter*

*widens hips and narrows waist a bit*

There, that's a good start. Now for the good bits...

Edit - Bye ancrenne, see you tonight, in a virtual sort of way.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:21, closed)

Ah, lunchtime...
Fulfill your inner longings for bio warfare:

www.weebls-stuff.com/peepls/142/epidemic
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:22, closed)

@K2k6
don't widen the hips too much now, or we'll all get insulted.

*looks forward to gingerbread people of a wider variety*

edit: DiT, I've dreamed of inflicting an epidemic on the world for so long. Can we pick who to infect, though? We don't want to kill any "nice" people .. only idiots and chavs.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:24, closed)

Not in game...
But I imagined it to be so.

Chavnic cleansing FTW.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:30, closed)

After my
Cake-based disappointment yesterday, I've stuck with a meat-based lunch.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:31, closed)

@TWW
It's an idealised form, so the hips are wider and the waist is smaller than on real women.

I'm just puzzling about what to use for nipples...

Ah - got it. I'll pick out two pink hundreds and thousands!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:32, closed)

@k2K6
Clearly, the nipples must be jelly tots!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:35, closed)

No, no
not jelly tots.

Remember the little silver balls (oo er) on cakes - well now you can get pink ones. Probably more "in proportion" as well, although this would depend on the size of the gingerbread women.

*is taking this far too seriously*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:36, closed)

@TWW
But I like big nipples!

*flounces*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:44, closed)

@BK
Jelly tots would be a bit big. I'm not making life sized gingerbread women!

@TWW - I did think of these silver balls, but didn't know you could get pink ones. They're a bit hard though...

I am thinking here of relatively small gingerbread women. Maybe 6 inches or so. So we're looking, very roughly, at about a 1/10 scale.

*also taking it too seriously*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:45, closed)

Go and
Milk a cow then...
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:45, closed)

@Kaol
Touche!

@K2k6

Sorry, I got carried away. Life-sized would be good though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:48, closed)

@K2k6
Mmmm, yes, those little balls are rather hard on the teeth

*attempts to keep a straight face, and fails*

You could always colour some icing in a shade of your choice and dot it on. That way you have total control over the nipple size.

*still fails to keep a straight face*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:49, closed)

Pink icing!
Of course. Why didn't I think of that? (rhetorical question - no need to reply)

*applies carefully sculpted gingerbreasts*

*pipes dots of pink icing*

Now, what about the 'other' areas? Thinly sliced ham would do, but it doesn't really go with the sweet cakeyness of the gingerbread...

*considers tone suitably lowered*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:54, closed)

K2k6 said
@BK
Jelly tots would be a bit big. I'm not making life sized gingerbread women!

I am life-sized (though admittedly not made of gingerbread) and I think jelly tot nipples would be a bit small.*

*fun though
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:54, closed)

@clendrix
I think jelly tots would be just the right size.

But if you beg to differ - you know the rule: photos....
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:55, closed)

@K2k6
ham? How dare you? Try grated chocolate. Makes reasonable looking hair. (Although I've only ever put it on gingerbread men's heads, despite huge temptation)

@Clendrix: Yes, jelly tots are a bit small. BK is obviously fulfilling some childhood need that was never met ....

edit: BK, if that's what you want to call me - NO. Nice profile, btw

*subtracts 28 from own age, breathes sigh of relief*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:57, closed)

@clendrix
Seconded!

*winks*
*flexes*

@TWW

Mama? Is that you?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:58, closed)

Oh BK and his flexing
*giggles*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:02, closed)

Jelly Tots?
Maybe for the whole breasticles!

Yeah grated chocolate makes great hair on cakes, and it tastes better than ham!

EDIT : Yay, I just noticed I've lost my L plate.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:05, closed)

OK
chocolate it is. I was going for the 'waxed' look, but chocolate tastes better on cakes.

Wonder if I can use white chocolate for natural blonde gingerbread ladies?

I have to say I've never before discussed gingerbread women's pubic hair.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:12, closed)

^Well, I arrived too late for *that* conversation...
:(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:12, closed)

@K2k6
chocolate is easier to grate if you put it in the fridge first. White chocolate? Too sickly for me, but if that's what floats your boat ..
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:15, closed)

^^
Grated orange peel?

I'm quite partial to redheads.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:17, closed)

I think
I'm going to have to try this at some point!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:20, closed)

You bunch of weirdos.
*kills hooker*
*ices prettily*
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:26, closed)

Oh Kaol
Don't use icing on dead hookers, it doesn't go well with meat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:33, closed)

It does!
It's like a desert and a main course all in one.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:35, closed)

mmmm'kay
I'll have to give it a try, but I think I'll be deeply disappointed.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:37, closed)

@Kaol
Is it best served whilst still warm, or chilled?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:37, closed)

@K2k6
we'll expect a beautiful batch of gingerbread girls at the Edinburgh bash, then? Plenty of time to practice.

@Kaol: now, what have I told you about playing with your food?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:38, closed)

TWW
You said "If you kill it, you have to eat it".

K2k6, I'd go with warm, not too hot.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:39, closed)

@Kaol
don't they get a bit stiff it you leave them out?

*reverts back to last week's QoTW*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:42, closed)

@TWW
Presumably that's why they're best eaten fresh.

Like sandwiches.

It also makes evidence gathering that much harder for CID...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:45, closed)

Yes,
I do get a bit stiff when I leave them out, now you come to mention it...
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:47, closed)

Time to go
and make some yummy spag bol for tea. Catch you all later.

*snogs*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:53, closed)

I've just been lying around in the park
worrying that things might have turned more serious and high-brow on here in my absence.

*sighs with relief*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:59, closed)

@clendrix
There were some references to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance in another post, but they chased them off with pitchforks and flaming torches.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:03, closed)

@clendrix
Don't be silly.

The tone is as low as usual.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:03, closed)

Bums!
Heeeheehee!

*runs away*

That better Clendrix?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:07, closed)

Thank gawd for that.
My place of work is having a cake sale tomorrow. Real cake, not virtual cake - much worse for the hips, but a veritable joy for the mouth.

Edit: Wookie - lovely!

*feels at home*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:09, closed)

Gingerbread persons
I can't eat them because it upsets me to eat things with a face. My mum still winds me up about that, if I leave one of anything on my plate she'll give it a voice and say 'oh please don't leave me all on my own' etc and so I HAVE to eat it no matter how full I am.

Chocolate teddybears from Thorntons, I feel the same way about them. And to a lesser extent, jelly babies and white mice.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:09, closed)

Clarabelle
We can always scrape the faces off for you.

Would that help?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:14, closed)

I keep falling asleep
At my computer.
This is not good.
Need coffee and stimulation.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:15, closed)

@Clarabelle
I know a few people with that issue with sweeties. The eating things with faces that is, not their parents anthropomorphising the last carrot on the plate.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:15, closed)

Kaol
You need to be stimulated?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:16, closed)

*frowns*
I guess so.

I'm falling asleep at work, yet I agreed to go to a midnight showing of Hancock with my friend who's a projectionist.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:19, closed)

Right
who's going to stimulate Kaol?

*gets rubber gloves*
*gets throwing star*
*gets goat*
*gets cake*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:21, closed)

@Clarabelle
I have a friend who refuses to eat anything with a face. But she's talking about living creatures, as she's a vegetarian, not anthropomorphism of confectionery.

(Actually, maybe she does that too - I must ask!)

And hello, by the way.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:22, closed)

Clendrix,
As a strange matter of fact, I happen to have a throwing star in my back pocket.

How strange.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:24, closed)

Kaol
anyone else, it would be strange.

You, not strange. Well, not surprising, anyway!

*grins*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:26, closed)

200!
Wooh!!

*edit* Shitebox, 202.
*edit* 204 even.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:26, closed)

Clendrix,
I picked it up last night, the phone rang, so I put it in my back pocket, and forgot about it.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:30, closed)

205!
Or even 206...

*celebrates arbitrary numbers*

Only an hour of work to go... so I ask you this:

Would you rather have genitals that glow red when you are sexually attracted to someone, or play 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead' every time you farted?

Things to consider - the glow is visible through clothes, an end to subtle farting.

I know what I'd choose. *glows*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:32, closed)

Kaol
Well that's alright then.

Hey does that mean I was 200?

Belated yay!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:33, closed)

Ding dong!
I don't want to glow!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:34, closed)

Did you
just fart, clendrix?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:35, closed)

I'll go with the glowing
Then if there's a powercut, I just need to imagine removing the lungs from a lady of the night with a shard of broken glass.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:36, closed)

I'm definitely for the glow as well
My arse gives off enough information when I fart.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:38, closed)

Glow for me
I may even howl and beat my chest in a show of masculine strutting.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:40, closed)

K2k6
No, I was practicing.

All the boys want to glow!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:42, closed)

Indeed we do!
*glows*

I'm off home. I'll be back for the evening shift.

Bye for now.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:46, closed)

I'll take the glow,
my penchant for lady-trousers means that it's rarely particularly subtle when I have the horn anyway.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:51, closed)

Wookie
how lovely.

If we supply you lot with enough goat-related porn, we can sell B3ta lighting to the national grid.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:59, closed)

Ding dong
the consequences of a mis-placed glow don't bear thinking about.

I never fart (in public) anyway, and I can always amuse the other half with a wee tune instead of a toot.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:04, closed)

Hurray
Non-glow support from a fellow female!
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:06, closed)

Ah, but
one can always claim that the ding-dong is a particularly poor choice of mobile ringtone.

I tend to have a bit more control over arousal than flatulence, also.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:06, closed)

I still keep falling asleep
For fucks sake!
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:09, closed)

Kaol, sit on it

your throwing star, that is. That'll wake you up.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:10, closed)

I prefer
My anus un-penetrated, thank-you-very-much.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:11, closed)

*throws cold water over Kaol*
that wake you up a bit? No?

*throws more cold water, followed by a 3 days-dead hooker*

There, that's done it

*sits back, smiling slightly*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:15, closed)

Nah, the fact that I'm going home in
13 minutes has done it.
Gotta cook dinner, have a nap, then I'll be about on here for a while.
Then I shall be going to the cinema at midnight.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:18, closed)

'lo all!
*snogs*

what did I miss?

*reads*
gingerbread?!!!!!1

*sulks*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:20, closed)

@HLT
It's ok, it was only theoretical gingerbread.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:22, closed)

That's right
and a secondary topic to nipple size.
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:25, closed)

Bye!
Catch you later!
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:27, closed)

Also bye.
*waves*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:28, closed)

*sobs*
waves goodbye
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:29, closed)

bye Kaol
*waves hooker*

hi hlt

*offers gingerbread woman with icing nipples and chocolate pubic hair*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:34, closed)

*waves to everyone who has left*
Erm, have you got any gingerbread MEN there WW?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:34, closed)

*offers gingerbread man*
sure, but these ones aren't decorated.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:36, closed)

s'alright, I don't like them clothed.
how are you flower?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:43, closed)

I'm grand, thanks
full tummy and the kids are playing quietly - together. It can't last

*makes mental note to frisk them for weapons*

How be you?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:45, closed)

Well, if it wasn't that
I have to find accommodation for 14 Cuban band players, for TOMORROW NIGHT, everything would be just dandy.

*panics*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:47, closed)

Erm, pitch a big tent
somewhere nearby?

Hand them sleeping bags, maps, compasses and tell them to look on it as a challenge?

No? Are there any youth hostels down your way?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:51, closed)

.
.
Chat continues here
.
And also a bit here.
.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:25, closed)