Essential, always,
is my cricket bat. Cover drives are all well and good, but if Shaun of the Dead taught me anything, it's that if the dead become undead, all you need is a cricket bat.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 23:57, Reply)

It's probably pretty sensible...
but I think it's hilarious.

I'll just set the scene quickly. My Dad often (IMO) gets hit by the histeria bug. Upon the recent Gulf War he bought crap loads of plastic sheeting and left a sheet by every window with masking tape -incase of chemical warefare.
The months preceding Y2K, our kitchen became fuller and fuller with long life food, tins and freezer food -convinced that millenium bug was going to cause the next famine.

Now he carries around a sleeping bag and a shovel in the boot of his car, incase he gets snowed in on the motorway! Yeah, I suppose when it does happen he'll have the last laugh but he always makes me giggle! Are we not having another uncharacteristically warm October?
( dub-girl, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 23:44, Reply)

In my wallet
I always carry arround every hotel card key that has ever been given to me in my wallet and I have stayed at alot of hotels (I travel alot).
( smirt, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 23:42, Reply)

Only the odd bits
I always carry an antique cigar cutter my grandfather from Glascow brought over (1903), and it was old when he obtained it. But I smoke infrequently.

Unusual but required is my .357 Colt Python and American Eagle holster.

And the Zippo, of course.
(Lister, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 23:29, Reply)

stuff i have in my bag today
I have....paracetamol tablets, a sachet of lemsip, a bottle of echinacea capsules (btw, im not a hypochondriac...i have a cold), a snickers bar,a half eaten bag of pistachio nuts, purse with about £15 in it, loads of pointless cards (like an NUS card from 2002 that i ripped the picture off) a load of propelling pencils that have run out of lead, an a6 notebook, and a5 notebook, an a4 sketchbook, at least 2 pens, 6 bottles of coloured ink, 10 sheets of acetate, a tin of vaseline, a cd player, cds (of course), a load of colouring pencils, and lots of fluff and charcoal dust, some strawberry soothers,and other random cold/arty related stuff. Nothing is excatly strange, except possibly the useless pencils and the 3 note/sketchbooks....though i never go out without at least one of them.





a bit shit, really, wasn't it.....
(Ryuken-Kai, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 22:34, Reply)

Many things
Most of which are thoroughly mundane, for instance I always wear a watch - everyone else that I know spends five minutes rummaging throught their pockets/handbag to find their phone so they can check the time.

I did think I was fairly odd for carrying a multi-tool around all the time, but after reading some of the other posts, perhaps not...

Odd? For the last few years, I've been carrying a couple of playing cards around in my wallet - a joker, and the five of hearts. This is not simply so that I can cheat at poker, more because of a drinking game me and a whole load of people (who are mostly now my friends, but who I didn't really know at the time) were playing. It worked like this: Each of us - in exchange for a fifty pence coin - was given a card with someone else's name on it. Whoever had the card bearing the name of the first person to, um, talk on the porcelain phone, was given the cash.

I've had the card I was given (the joker) and my card (the five of hearts) ever since. They've got pretty pictures from the Isle of Man on the back, and have come in useful for me to scribble incomprehensible notes on.

By the way, Dave won. Mostly by forcing people to drink shots of Bailey's and lime cordial at the same time.
( Legionary - My god, Brian, there's a message in my alphabets, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 22:33, Reply)

Items
Just my inhaler (I have asthma) and my train ticket for me.

Sometimes I have my mp3 player as well, especially when travelling long distances.
(tranmerefan, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 22:21, Reply)

I always carry
a bar of chocolate... not because i am diabetic, it's just so i can eat it infront of fat people.
(Squizza, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 22:11, Reply)

A Watch
So i can tell the time
(Fox Hunting Rabbit, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 22:09, Reply)

I always carry a pencil, a notepad and a craft knife.
When I can, I carry a rubber also.

I carry the craft knife for many reasons.

Attack, riots, sharpening pencils, boredom and carving objects.

As well as crafting things.


Edit: Reading the rest I just got reminded that I also used to carry round a screwdriver. In my pencilcase. Once I got bored during a Physics Exam (had finished) and prodeced to quietly unscrew the vent for the radiator near my work.

Edit2: Hah! I got my first pure white hair when I was 5.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 22:05, Reply)

Mexican Currency
For some reason, I always carry Mexican currency. I live in Chicago (U.S.A.), several hundred miles from Mexico. Although I know many Mexicans, I am not Mexican. I've never been to Mexico, nor do I plan to go to Mexico. Mexican currency is not valid in the U.S., at least not in Chicago. So why do I carry Mexican currency? I haven't the vaguest idea. And, no, I don't carry Canadian currency, even though I'm closer to Canada and much more likely to go there than to Mexico.
(bunnybutt, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 21:41, Reply)

In my breast pocket...
i have a beaded bracelet. It has never graced my wrist but the beads follow this pattern: black x5 then red,pink,green,blue,purple. The jewllery reminds me of the gay rights flag, so everytime i see my unisex bracelet i think to myself, gays have rights (watch your ass)
(popcorndude81 witness of the http://b3ta.com/talk/5000000, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 21:18, Reply)

A hunting knife
Well, not me, but my pal Pat, who is a keen woodsman in the wilds of British Columbia Canada.
It was discovered as he passed through security at Heathrow 2 weeks after 9/11, when his carry-on went through the X-Ray machine.
"have you got a knife in your bag, sir?"
"Nope."
"You're sure you don't have a knife in your bag?"
"Nope."
Cue security guard withdrawing large carver.
"Ohhhh, yess. That's my favourite knife. Can you send it to me somehow?"
Security guard makes reassuring "yes" noises while poking frantically at security button beneath the desk. Uzi-toting security guards in kevlar swarm towards my pal and sweep him away to an interrogation room with my other friend, a lawyer. Third friend sprints for washroom where he expels his anxiety.
My lawyer friend explains that Pat mistakenly transferred his hunting knife from his regular luggage to his carry on. Copper asks "is that the case, sir"
Pat: "Nope I was carrying it around London for a couple of days and using it to open bottles of beer and wine."
Turns out it is illegal to even own such a knife in the U.K., but the cops let him off because they swallowed the "rugged Canadian woodsman," angle.
Lucky for him.
On the return trip, their plane encountered turbulence so bad a man in the loo was thrown into the aisle, where he flopped around like a fish with his trous round his knees. Sad that.
(Lamonstrous, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 20:43, Reply)

Being a woman, I have a handbag
and I have just emptied it to see escatly what I carry round with me on a daily basis.

* Overdue Marks and Spencers chargecard statement

* Lip Balm

* Purse

* Headache tablets

* Tampon (unused)

* Sweet wrappers

* Empty envelope

* Pen lid

* Car Keys

* Receipts

* Car Park tickets

* A chocolate Raisin

* A broken fag which has shattered tabacco everywhere

* Celophane Wrapper from Fag Packet

* Mobile phone

* About £70 quid in 2p coins


Jesus, why do I cart this shit around with me????
(I have not got fucking Tourettes, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 20:21, Reply)

woohoo
i carry syphilus about with me everywhere i go. a lovely lady i met in a club gave it to me two years ago and it never leaves my person:)
(i_walk_bing_crosbys_dog, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 20:19, Reply)

Haha
I decided one day for like, no reason but psychic forethought to carry two paracetamol in my blazer pocket, later that day, some guy said "god my head is killing me", to be accosted with two suspicious pills.

He took them, they were paracetamol, his headache went away :)
(Slyph, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 19:47, Reply)

world war one poems
well i carry a small book of world war one poems just in my pocket my female friend bought for me as a gift. I figure if any riff raff accost me on the street I can read them excerpts of dulce et decorum est and anthem of doomed youth and demonstrate the futility of violence and the err of their ways. Well it's either that or get pissed on.
(i_walk_bing_crosbys_dog, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 19:42, Reply)

Keys Money Passport
With these three simple items- the world is your lobster!
(howmanyhangers, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 19:39, Reply)

Playing football
with a bunch of oceanography researchers that were staying at the summer cottage next door.
Their football was pretty flat and one of them said, "we could inflate this with the air compressor for the scuba tanks if we only had an inflating needle".
Which I proceeded to pull from my jeans pocket. You know that little pocket on the right that is big enough for a key. Or an inflating needle.
"Why the hell are you carrying that around??"
Thirty years on I still have no idea why, but I was carrying it around all summer.
It's no longer in my pocket, but I do still have it.
(cox2inhibitor, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 19:30, Reply)

I carry my lighter with me
I don't carry my cigarettes, because I don't smoke them; for the same reason, I don't carry any cigars. I DO smoke a pipe, but I leave it at home.

So why have a lighter with me at all times if I don't carry my smokes? I'm deathly afraid, you see, that at some point somebody will lean over and say to me "'Ey, mate, you got a light?" and I'll have to turn him down. I just don't want to seem rude, that's all.
(busterbeckett BUSTER BECKETT - saved by the buoyancy of citrus, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 19:16, Reply)

My missus...
... used to carry torches everywhere. Not just one mind, no she needed several.

On a trip to Barcelona, her hand luggage bag gets stopped for searching. The security guy finds: one mini-maglite, one polaroid flat torch, one LED push button torch, and one rubber torch in the shape of a fish (probably a perch, in case anyone's worried). Stony faced as only a British customs officer can be, he turns to my wife and asks: "Scared of the dark, are we?"

She's only ever carried the Maglite since.
(fatblokeinamini, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 19:15, Reply)

I always carry
5 extra stones of fat around with me.
I cant leave home without it (Mores the pity!)
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 18:59, Reply)

This seems to be a bragging list.
So here goes.
I have the latest and most expensive phone, solid platinum house keys for my stirling silver house, a tangerine given to me by Bob Dylan and a speculum I am told has been jammed into Dawn French.

And my huge bum-stumper.
( Spaniels Ears, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 18:54, Reply)

Dear Carpetburns...
Was your problem with thrush the inspiration for your username? Just an innocent inquiry...

Sam
(Mr_Jums, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 18:53, Reply)

Ice Packs
Not actual ice packs, of course, but those first-aid pouches that you pop and they get instantly cold. Everyone around me kept twisting their ankles or falling over crates or banging their knees, but now that I have these magical pouches, no one seems to get hurt and everyone stays safe.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 18:23, Reply)

feminine itching
thrush cream.. dont specifically carry it.. but it always seems to be in my bag?
(carpetburns, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 17:31, Reply)

Keys
to rip a hole in every jean and trouser pocket I ever fucking owned.

Plus credit card eon torch. most handy.
(waxdart hello., Fri 28 Oct 2005, 17:31, Reply)

Pants.
Always carry spare pants.

And string.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 17:20, Reply)

Booooooooriiiiing
These posts are RUBBISH, listing the everyday things in your pockets doesn't make good reading! I myself keep the same things in each of my 4 jeans pockets, every day, no matter how little I need them. I always carry a backpack, filled with crap I'll never need (mostly old sheets of paper :s); I have to take it everywhere, it's my security blanket.

The one useful thing in my bag is Ibuprofen. I always make sure I have a pack of Ibuprofen with me, because I never know when I'm gonna get a hernia (the only causes I'm certain of are cow's milk and stress. I drink goat's milk instead). To my surprise, a lot of people are unsure exactly what a hernia is; baaasically, the situation is that my intestines often try to escape my body through a hole in my abdominal wall, by going into my scrotum. It hurts, lots and lots. I've had this for 5 years; 2 years ago I went to the doctor and said "Say, Doc, do you think that maybe it could be a hern-" to which I was abruptly cut off with "No, never, not at all." I'd love to punch his face in.
So for the last 5 years, I've been wondering why I have this mysterious, painful 3rd testicle; found out a few months ago, when I went to the doctor again. But it still won't get operated on for about a year and a half.

And that, my lovely readers, is why I always carry Ibuprofen with me :)
(Mr Timmels, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 16:51, Reply)

Life Aims...
A long time ago, I began carrying around a piece of A5 paper in my wallet with some essential numbers on it. (This was many moons before the introduction of PDAs - or PDAs that I could afford at any rate). I can't really date the piece of paper, except that the phone numbers all have pre "01" area codes and, in amongst the numbers, is the phone no of one of my very first girlfriends. I guess this means this "essential" piece of paper has been in my wallet for over 15 years.

The reason I've not thrown this piece of paper away is because I scrawled on it, one daft and distrubed evening (and I suspect this isn't terribly original in any event), 25 life aims - things I planned to do with the rest of my life. They are (in their full glorious entirety, sitting under the phrase "Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."):

1. Make love to a beautiful woman.
2. Parachute/hanglide.
3. Write a book.
4. Sing in a band.
5. Play the drums.
6. Become extremely proficient in something.
7. Be happy.
8. Never lose touch with old friends.
9. Visit the world.
10. Try almost everything once.
11. Own a fast car.
12. Have few regrets.
13. Live in a foreign country.
14. Go to Glasto.
15. Drive someone wild in bed.
16. Complete my music collection.
17. Become famous.
18. Get fit.
19. Play sport for my county.
20. Watch England play.
21. Marry someone I love.
22. Stand up for my ideals.
23. Have a well paid enjoyable job.
24. Have perfect children.
25. Die happy.

Why do I keep this? Why is this essential? To keep me on the straight and narrow? To cross off the things I achieve? To persuade me to aim higher?

No - to remind me not to be such a twat.
(lolly, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 16:31, Reply)