Not me, but my friend's tale of woe, which always makes me laugh
For her entire time at university, my friend Evie had been in love with this guy on her course, Ginger Nick. In two years, she had just about managed to get to the "smile across the bar" stage. She also had a flatmate called Jenny, who was the most irritatingly stunning girl you've ever seen.

Finally one evening the impossible happened. She bumped into Ginger Nick in the student union, beers were had, cigarettes were had, and finally, FINALLY, Evie jumped on him and tongues were exchanged. Ecstatic, Evie dragged him home.

They were sitting in the lounge in that awkward "who will make the move, let's pretend to sip coffee" stage, when the door opened, and a pissed Jenny fell in. Even pissed, she was still annoyingly hot. She bumbled around for a bit, then left them to it. Ginger Nick was a bit too admiring of her, but it didn't put Evie off. She was just working up the nerve to lunge and stick her tongue back down his throat, when the door burst open again, and Jenny ran back in, skirt up to her neck.

"SEE MY NUNNY! SEE MY NUNNY!!" she demanded, before running off in hysterics, leaving them both speechless. As a mood killer, it was pretty effective. Evie never did get to see any Ginger Cock.

"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:14, 49 replies)

POIDH

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:57, closed)

That's the lamest euphemism for vag I've ever heard

(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:07, closed)

There isn't a user-friendly word.
It's one of nature's mysteries.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:18, closed)

I find "minge" is usefully all-purpose
Not so offensive that you couldn't say it in front of a vicar, but not so childish that you feel like an idiot saying it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:30, closed)

"Bearded clam"?
Or at least "Moist, Sexy, Humming Love Pocket"
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:45, closed)

Sausage
wallet
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:48, closed)

I might be wrong
but I think Nunny is an old term for it, maybe mediaeval or Shakespearean.
(username failed moderation, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 11:45, closed)

you are wrong.
it's 'cunny'
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:35, closed)

Could be both
I know they used cunny, but I've definitely heard it called a nunny as well.
(username failed moderation, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:25, closed)

Fanny?
Might confuse the Muricans, though.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:48, closed)

"Minge" sounds like a dirty word, to me.
"Muff" is more pleasant sounding, or maybe "mimsy", which is pleasingly similar to "whimsy".

"Take a look at my Lord Peter", would be a nice euphemism.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:51, closed)

Furry Muff.

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 11:46, closed)

I had an ex who called hers a woohoo.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 0:38, closed)

I've only ever heard it from Evie when she told that story
I normally go for "foof"

In this context, I mean. Not as a general life choice.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 11:54, closed)

I find 'Cumdumpster' perfectly acceptable to say to a vicar.
Or possibly 'Gateway to her guts'?
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 12:01, closed)

oo oo oo! just remembered...
my old gran, 92 has some one do her garden for her now.

every time she tells me she's had 'the lady gardener' round and what a thorough job she did i have to leave the room.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:27, closed)

yeh yeh
let me guess. You think your post is onto a winner, so you think popping up in other people's posts will win you some more clicks?

/desperate
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 16:55, closed)

thank you
for the insight into your sad bitter little thought processes

/comes as no surprise
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 17:56, closed)

alright, loser

(alright alright, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 12:10, closed)

alright, plummie

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 12:12, closed)

ate you the tearful plumber with the chip on his shoulder or the tearful wannabe australian with the chip on his shoulder?
because nobody cares
(alright alright, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 12:23, closed)

i like 'mimsy'
take that however you like
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:24, closed)

Clunge is a good one
and one that my girlfriend finds strangely acceptable
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:54, closed)

So, Jay from the Inbetweeners -
Happy Birthday for last Sunday andypieman.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 11:45, closed)

thanks muchly.
I ended up in Amsterdam after my girlfriend organised a surprise weekend away.
Excellent birthday
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:51, closed)

Sorry I missed it.
Travelling to the Norty Steppes somewhat curtailed my ability to post on this website....
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:00, closed)

Was the weather nice there?

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:48, closed)

It clearly wasn't good enough to get
Clarkey and the boys in a Test Match winning frame of mind!
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 11:35, closed)

Lets face it from 1989
to 2003 England didn't get a look in for the Ashes. Perhaps its just our turn to be decent at cricket for a while.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 11:41, closed)

And this is about your friend is it?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 12:23, closed)

Yes
Yes it is!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:18, closed)

Do you just hang about in some big ginger posse, like a sunshine-averse gang from The Warriors?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 12:35, closed)

I was 200 miles away at the time!
And I'm not ginger!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:18, closed)

COURSE you're not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:37, closed)

* stamps foot*
(on boyce's record collection)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:51, closed)

prove it :)

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:51, closed)

Monty has met me, he'll...
Oh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 14:07, closed)

furrypurse....come out to plaAAAAYyyy...

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 18:00, closed)

I saw "the conjuring" the other week
They could have used this terrifying line in that movie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:02, closed)

i fucking love warriors.
i can't believe i only found out about it this year.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:16, closed)

Is that the gang warfare film? My ex at uni was obsessed with that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:23, closed)

it's amazing.
a thing of beauty. gang warfare, leather waistcoats, and everything sorted by teatime.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:36, closed)

shit, wait....i mean 'piss off you raging slapper'.
soz.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:37, closed)

I wish I could be a raging slapper
That would imply I was getting some :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 22:18, closed)

What's that channel 4 thing ... see my funny or something ... fuck you short term memory.

(alright alright, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 16:04, closed)

Female posts, saddos go mental
what a surprise
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 16:49, closed)

Shush it noob

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:01, closed)

top misogyny there

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 21:03, closed)

Pshaw!
You think this is a mental thread?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 0:11, closed)