bums
why do dogs get the rolls royce of bums that nicely snip off the offending poo leaving not a trace of poop, yet we have to chase the stuff half way round ya back (slight exaggeration, slight), i don't have a way of fixing this however and am open for suggestions.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:16, 10 replies)

take up yoga and do as they do
they lick them clean
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:18, closed)

i just can't see the benefits outweighing the negatives... it was close though.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:25, closed)

"I ... am open for suggestions"
I bet you are. Hahahahaha
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:20, closed)

was wondering if anyone would pick up on that one. well played and a shiny new donkey is your prize.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:23, closed)

Have you thought about a 'Wildlife Arse'?
It's FP and looks rather nice in a what-the-stuttering-fuck kind of way.

Might solve the issue though. Just a thought. *click*
( NooShmoo It's a fantazmagorical pile of ultra bollocks, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:49, closed)

ah, problem solved! move on people, nothing to see here...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:57, closed)

I reckon, and only as a test
That you should eat only dog food for a month and then get back to us with the results of whether it's their diet or not.
(Kip, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 17:35, closed)

Shouldnt be hard to do a transplant at home, or if youre too clumsy for that then modify your own with an apple corer.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 22:24, closed)

Human bums
would be a lot cleaner if we squatted as nature intended. I'm sure if you wiped your dog's bum after it shat you'd still get residue, else they wouldn't bother noshing on their ring pieces so much.
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 2:02, closed)

poops post surgery
I concurr re squatting.

I had surgery recently... and, well. To make a long story very short: if you tie three babywipes into well, I suppose you should invision they way prisoners on telly tie sheets to escape. Thus you have a long piece of baby-wipe with knots at the 1/3 and 2/3 marks. And you take one end in the front and draw the other to the back, and well. You get pretty damned clean, and the whole lot is flushable and you get to avoid having to have nurses wiping your bumbum for you. Butt floss wtf.

Edit: would this work as well for men?
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:56, closed)