I'm stealing school bandwidth,
so I'm not old...
=)
( Whippersnapper, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 14:51, Reply)

OPAL FRUITS!!!
Not that long ago i know but when you were around when they changed the name of something it does tend to dishearten your belief that your still young.

Especially when you ask for Opal fruits at the cinema and the twat behind it looks at you blank acne faced and says "what are they, dont think we sell them..."

Sure there are more names that have changed.

Ahh... marathon of course.
(nobodyremembersmyname, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 14:50, Reply)

i always make sure
i am home from the pub in time for Question Time.

i also think David Dimbleby is cool.
(betterpants, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 14:39, Reply)

worldwardy's posting
reading his posting and thinking, I must find my album (y'know, lp, vinyl, 33rpm) and play that, because I love that album - what was it world. ? 1970 ? Gee, only 34 years ago.
(The real vlad the impala, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 14:38, Reply)

And another thing (or 2)
Seeing the look on my youngest son's face (he's 20, the old fart) when I say I like his latest album (and copying it to mp3 to listen to on the tube)

Not enjoying a toke as much as I used to...

Trying to keep up with you whipersnappers' interweb language (mostly failing)

Realising that although I thought I might be a bit too old to buy "God save the Queen" way back in 1977, that was 27, yes 27 years ago...fookin' 'ell. (Oh, Sex Pistols for you kids that don't know)

(In similar vein, Peter Hammill's "Pushing 30" more than 20 years ago....)

And like others, checking my messages for spelling & punctuation. (Although I'm slacker with grammar, I've always split infinitives)
(The real vlad the impala, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 14:01, Reply)

The exact moment I realised I was getting old
What's that you say? Going out clubbing? On a weeknight?

You must be joking; I have a job now. And responsibilities. I need a full nights sleep so I can do a decent days work! Fie with you, and away with your frippery and debauchery.

Pardon? Stay up until 4am watching US Presidential results? HELL yes!! I can get by on 2 hours sleep. No. Fucking. Problem...
(Light, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 13:50, Reply)

I'm turning into my father
I find myself sitting watching Top of the Pops chart rundown section and muttering "rubbish" under my breath after each entry, occasionally interspersed with a shout of "Twats!"

Mind you I've been doing that for about 15 years. Fucksocks.
(peskytrouts, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 13:49, Reply)

Well, sitting here
worrying about the imminant birth of my first child and various other domestic chores, I have realised that I have a broken hip.
(myohmy, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 13:22, Reply)

Evidence I'm getting older....
- Nasal Hair....And having to buy a nasal hair clipper to tackle the jungle
- Slurping and going "ahh" when I drink coffee
- The fashion from the 80's were shit then, so how's it even remotely cool now?
- Taking up golf and enjoying it.
- Hobbling round for 2days after playing 5-a-side football.
- Aching arms for 2days after playing some interactive Icam game thing on the ps2 (much arm wavage).
- Jailbait is now a decade younger than me. A DECADE!

Only 26 so getting there, just not quite there yet. Woo to being the wrong side of 25!
( -:Coop:-, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 12:49, Reply)

But then again....
Downsides:

Why have I increasing amounts of hair in my nose, and on my ears & eyebrows yet I'm losing the fucking stuff from my head ??

My defence is "you know you're getting old when.." you buy an electric hair trimmer for your nose. (I HAVEN'T OK !!!) yet.....

And the band on your t-shirt released their first album in 1968.

And you really know you are getting old when people you listened to (or heard) start to die off - Robert Palmer, John Peel, Cliff Richard (waddya mean he's not dead yet ?) with apologies to those I've left out of the list, or have heart attacks/surgery Bowie, Pete Hammill.

And the final indigity - you start to wonder if one off the wrist is a good idea anymore..........at your age. (Not, you understand, that I have indulged in that sort of practice for oooh, ages)
(The real vlad the impala, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 11:47, Reply)

Moshpit
I went to see Slayer and Slipknot the other week, and got injured during Hatebreed's set and could barely mosh to Slayer. First time that's happened in the ten years I've been going to gigs. And I was actually a bit scared in the pit.
(gavD, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 11:47, Reply)

Went out with a girl who was a fair bit younger than me ...
... and I said that her hair was like Animal, the drummer from The Muppets. She said 'who?' ...

'Y'know that mad drummer with the mad hair from the Muppets'

'The what?'

'The Muppets, for god's sake'

'Oh. You mean Muppet Babies. Nah. Never really watched it.'

We finished shortly after that.

She also thought that The Goonies was a classic.
(jimcrock, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 10:59, Reply)

HAHAHAHAH you old buggers

(Roland Deschain, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 10:04, Reply)

Another one...
When you no longer care about the free toy in your packet of Coco Pops (Choco Krispies? Pah!). In fact, it's an annoyance to get a free toy 'cause you're getting fewer Coco Pops for your money, those thieving Kelloggs bastards...

/edit now I think about it, you can't be getting that old if you're still eating Coco Pops at 24.
( <somethingfunny> hasn't said anything funny since, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 9:10, Reply)

You know you're old when...
you can have sex with a girl 12years younger than you and it still be considered legal!!!

I actually turned a girl down a month ago because i thought she was "too young" for me... something i thought would never happen!

where's my Sanatogen?
(Dingle molesting inanimate objects since, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 8:23, Reply)

I have realised
I know I am getting old because I was in Tesco the other day and a woman walked past me dragging a small toddler with some sort of sticky sweet surgically attached to it's face. When the toddler walked almost directly into my testes the woman said "Oh Stewie, mind that man". I spent the next 5 minutes hunting for a man.
(_earwaxuk_, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 8:11, Reply)

I'm not getting old.
In fact, I'm getting younger. That's the only direction I can go in, you see....

I was born old. As a kid, I liked crosswords and reading.
As a teen, I disliked nightclubs, parties and loud music.
When invited to hit the town, I think, "Meh... can't really be bothered."

Nope - there's only one way for me to go... I'm growing down.
(Pseudonym, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 4:52, Reply)

I don't lie, I deny
I have decided not to grow old gracefully. I will go in kicking and screaming, with my recent navel piercing glinting brightly.

I do not want to admit I am only a year and 3 months away from being 40. Hell no, I won't go! But nature is already winning the heated battle. How do I know?

1. I sound like a woman in labor lifting reams of pizza boxes above my head to the shelf.

2. My fingers swell during sleep and will not bend until I walk around for awhile.

3. Despite the purchase of dozens of bottles of advanced moisterizers, the battle lines drawn upon my face during my 30s are now turning into trenches.

4. I've got old lady hands. My skin is thinning and the veins and tendons are popping out. And they always look dry, regardless of how much lotion I apply.

5. I listen to the Classic Rock station that was once the mainstream pop station.

6. I no longer feel the urge to white water raft or travel too far from home.

7. No matter how closely I follow the fashion trends of hair, clothes and makeup, any guy below the age of 30 somehow knows, even in near darkness of the hip nightclubs, that I'm not 25 anymore. They must have middle aged woman radar.

8. I like taking long walks...alone.

9. I mutter to myself, even in public

10. My cat is my best friend

11. I yawn in the middle of telling someone off, then promptly forget what I was mad about and zone out.

12. I need at least 8 to 9 hours of sleep.

13. Birds, small animals and kids love me.

14. I catch myself saying big words like "exasperate"

15. Last but not least, I forgot what I was just talking about;)
(moonfire38, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 4:07, Reply)

Okay, anyone under the age of 21 ish quit posting!
I just turned 30 in June, and just got married Saturday :)
We were disappointed that nobody got up to dance, then realised that other than my bridesmaid, her brother and the 2 ring bearers and flower girl, nobody was under the age of 35 (apart from me!)
After the wedding, we planned to go out and party - nope, we had a quiet dinner instead and passed out.
Today we went and sorted out bank accounts, life insurance policies, IRA's, 401K's and lots of other financial stuff. Scary.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 3:08, Reply)

Jackie who?
My husband decided he was officially old when he told a young woman she looked like a young Jackie Kennedy and she said, "Who?"

Then in a record store excuse me, CD store, he heard a teen say, "Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?" I think she was pulling his leg. He swears not.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 2:41, Reply)

"You are as old as you feel..."
was what a friend said to me when I brought the subject up.

He then turned to me and said "and since she's sixteen I feel great!"

Dirty Ol'* Bastard

*read 22yrs old
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 1:23, Reply)

There's a bloke in our office
who's never heard of the zx spectrum. I find this tragic, on many different levels.
( 100% of Gibbon, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 1:19, Reply)

if, against the urinal....
...you start making noises whilst relieving yourself. Then you are old. Apparently.
( fr13day has everything required to be a Penguin, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 0:00, Reply)

im an old bastard
once i was walking down the road and a little teenager came up to me and threw a brick off my head and i fell down then a bunch of em came outa no where and started pelting eggs at me and they then called me an old bastard

im 7

hahahahhaaahahahha all of it was lies
(6thEdition, Tue 2 Nov 2004, 22:06, Reply)

Noooooo!
A shopgirl told me she liked my belt. I told her I'd had it since high school. She replied "ooh. . .I love vintage things."
(dlloft, Tue 2 Nov 2004, 21:51, Reply)

"Grandma, we love yooouu, Grandma, we dooooo..."
I've got grey hair (that's 'hair plural', not 'hair singular', I'm afraid.)

People in shops call me "madam", and I'm automatically a "Mrs" to telemarketers etc.

On the rare occasions I go out, I feel absolutely friggin' geriatric amongst all the alco-popped-up 16 year olds, who make me want to ask them if their mothers know they're out so late, and don't they think they've had enough to drink now?

I've thrown out all my strappy heely footwear and tight fitting clothes to make way for flat shoes and comfortable items with elasticated waistbands. Mainly in black.

I worry about interest rates and pensions.

I can't wait to sit down and have a nice cup of tea after I've been shopping, 'cos my feet are aching, you see.

My right knee is really giving me gyp. )And don't get me started on my left hip...)

I've just bought an electric blanket and some slippers. And I drink Horlicks before beddy- byes.

I'm starting to squint at things I'm trying to read...

My favourite program is Grumpy Old Men, because I agree with EVERY.SINGLE.WORD. Even the stuff Jeremy Clarkson says.


I'M ONLY 27 YEARS OLD!!! How the hell did this happen, and what am I going to be like at 40, for chrissakes?!
(pideypuss, Tue 2 Nov 2004, 21:43, Reply)

Oh Lordy where do I start?
My son thinks I'm at least 50, and I might die soon.

Relationships start getting confusing as people assume I want to start reproducing as my 'biological clock' will start ticking Any Time Now.

If I go out and get shit faced, people tut and look at me as though I am an old trout, rather than an overexcited teenager.

I make odd noises when I'm getting up.

I watch the news rather than Hollyoaks.

I watch my neice wear '80's 'retro' clothing, that I used to wear, and wonder if she too will try to erase the fact that she wore neon pink from her memory.

I got excited when they opened a new restaurant near me. I used to get excited about pubs.

I'm 27 years old. I too tsk. I also think that teenagers spend too much time texting on their mobile phones, as in my day 'we used to talk to each other'

I've tried to reclaim my youth and failed. I am going to embrace the fact that I remember 'proper' music like The Stone Roses, and Nirvana. Old codgerdom here I come.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Nov 2004, 21:18, Reply)

Walking past a toy shop...
I saw chess sets for sale. I took a fleeting glance and stopped. The board was set up wrong.

all the pieces were in the right places (even the Queens, which is my usual gripe), but there was one major flaw.

The bottom right-hand square was black.

within seconds I found myself complaining to the girl behind the cash desk, explaining how it would make playing Kings Gambit a nightmare.

wow, on top of that sad outburst, I laughed at my "great" almost pun above..."knightmare"

in fact talking of knightmare does anyone remember the TV show? it was great.

oh...what was I saying again...
(Father Mahoo hoo Shaboo, Tue 2 Nov 2004, 21:16, Reply)

folicle smolicle
Grey pubes !!!!!
(Maggs, Tue 2 Nov 2004, 20:40, Reply)

What makes me feel old?
Hearing my boyfriend's niece refer to Green Day as "old school". ACK!

Glancing up on our shelf, spying a copy of "Bostin' Steve Austin". On vinyl. And realizing that it is older than people I work with.

Telemarketers call me Ma'am.

People on the street have stopped offering to sell me illegal substances. The last drugs I consumed were for my bad back and heartburn.

I remember to water my houseplants, and I know their latin names. I attended the Chelsea Flower Show last year.

I have become very finicky about the vintages of wine I consume.

I have maxed out my pension contributions for this tax year and now sometimes agree with things my father says about the government.

I have been known to take a hot water bottle with me when I go to bed... at 10 pm.

It's pretty much a luge ride to the grave from here...
(hellabella, Tue 2 Nov 2004, 20:34, Reply)