The moment it happened to me!
Somehwere in my late 30s about 2-3 years ago. I was standing outside the LS6 'clock' cafe with a friend, smoking a cig. It was November time, and the nights had drawn in.

As we smoked and chatted, around the corner tottered a couple of lasses who were done up nice for a big night out. One of them was wearing a skirt that finished midway between knee and hip and those knee sock things. She was sexy, attractive, fantastic body and a thought raced across my mind.

"I bet her legs are cold."

I bought a cardigan the next day and started getting the daily mail.*




*lies.
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 8:16, 2 replies)

I'm 26 in under two weeks,
The missus keeps reminding me I'm "4 years away from 30 you old git", I keep telling her to fuck off.

Not bothered though but I bet my brother is though. He's 30 next year and he has a daughter from a previous long-term relationship, Another daughter with the girl he's with now, The two little girls from her previous relationship and a mortgage

Next time I see him, I'm going to remind him that this was 20 years ago**

_{** Yes it's 'Hero' not 'Ninja' for you 'merkins'}
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 8:11, 4 replies)

With each passing year i fear i'm becoming more and more like my Grandad ......who is dead.
(shake'n'bake Tally Ho, Biatch!, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 7:14, Reply)

Hello ...
my name is Que and I'm a 37yo housewife and mother of two. After an odd series of events; kids getting bigger, brush with mortality and an evaluation of the portfolio, we decided to try for a third child.

During one nervous (and sadly fruitless) 5 minutes wait after weeing into a cup, I found myself pondering that we ladies spend our teens and twenties desperately avoiding pregnancy and ours thirties desperately courting it.

And it gets harder (fnar) with each passing year.
(Que?, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 3:40, 50 replies)

oh man, here it comes.
They who are 10 now and have the prospect of excessive wealth may live to be 300 years old.

Those whom ares 20 now are probably going to live to at least 150.

Thems who am 30 now will probably only make averagely make 103

I'm 40, I shall probably make 6o(what with my lifestyle and the state of motorway traffic these days) so without sci-fi style medical intervention if I stop eating bacon and pay attention to buses when I cross the road.

It used to be the cool chic thing to say that you'd rather die than get old.

Well, you're wasting a lot if you'd rather take that crazy motorcycle leap off Spag's Cleft in front of an audience of admiring chicks, like Fonzie and the shark.


A throwaway romantic gesture, a v-sign to society, a fuck-you gesture to your parents as you choose to die to piss them off?

I find that the longer I engage with life, the better I am able to deal with it.

It's not so much a case of FIGHT THE POWER as 'kick financial expedience in the balls'
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 2:30, 1 reply)

I am now receiving my old age pension.
Getting old? I AM OLD.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 2:00, Reply)

Sad...
So I'm browsing in a record shop, going through the old punk stuff because you know, I'm still cool and stuff and I find an album with at least a dozen tracks I know I love.
"I'll take this!" I tell the child behind the counter, who gives me an approving nod.
I head home, can't wait to play it and notice, in my carefully alphabetised album rack, the exact same disc.
So I go back and explain to the guy what had happened and ask if it would be possible for me to exchange it for another one.
He just looks at me sadly, nods and lets out a plaintive: "Duuuude...."
( difficultchild, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 1:55, Reply)

Telling your son about the old computers...
...where you had to load programs from tape.

And he says "Dad, what's a tape?"
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 1:32, Reply)

Get Down, Get Down; Get Back Up Again
I was showing a friend what a bad ass crunkster I am, and he asked me to stop. At first, I thought it was because I'm white and he's black, but that wasn't it. Old folks gotta maintain their dignity, after all.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 1:28, Reply)

So, she sez to me, "Will you still love me when I get old?" and I sez, "Course, get 'old."
(Flat Top, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 1:09, Reply)

Blah blah blah
popular culture reference compared to popular culture reference from ten years ago. Fruit used to be fresher, air used to be cleaner.
Where did all these chinese come from? Blah blah dodgy bladder, blah blah blah bad back, grey hair, feet like croutons. The end.
(shake'n'bake Tally Ho, Biatch!, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 1:01, Reply)

Dr Who
Some of my friends' children have never heard of David Tennant, let alone Christopher Eccleston. Matt Smith IS the Doctor to them, the ONLY Doctor. Hartnell-McGann? Forget it.

They'll be in for a shock when he regenerates in 2014, but by then they will have found out about previous Doctors, so perhaps not a great a shock as I experienced when Jon Pertwee changed into Tom Baker.

At least I'm not old enough to have seen the very first episode... anyone here who is?
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 0:29, 14 replies)

Two things make me feel old
1. Nowadays, I go to events and exchange business cards with people.

2. On a recent holiday, me and the wife took a visit to my old university. In former days, you had to have a student card to enter the student union, but we were able to go in and have lunch. The bar was now filled with about a dozen TV screens playing whatever autotuned corporate wankpop the kids listen to, and there was a young lesbian couple sitting and ostentatiously semi-petting, next to a male friend of theirs who was clearly thinking "Man I'm so cool, sitting with lesbians and not making a big deal of it." Kids these days...
(McChinaman banned, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 23:59, 2 replies)

I'm turning 40 this year.
Yay.

I work with oldies who mostly have dementia. The average age of the funglies is 80 odd.
One of the ladies in the facility will be getting a telegram from the queen this year. She gets around without a walker (unlike many of the other residents), her eyesight & dexterity is good enough that she still does a lot of sewing jobs for both resi's and staff, she always greets me with a relevant question about what's happening in my life and is 1 of the warmest and more personable human beings that I have ever known. I sometimes help her with the quiz or crosswords but it's usually only 1 or 2 clues she hasn't been able to get herself. Her hearing's a bit stuffed but I HAVE A NICE LOUD VOICE so it's all good.

If I were 50 years older...
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 23:52, 5 replies)

my mate is still getting ID'd for booze at the age of 54
I was in the supermarket with a friend. He's 54 and I'm 37. Not for the first time, he was ID'd and I wasn't. Bastard.
Apparently he can't get a girlfriend his own age because they don't like him looking younger than them. Suuure that's why he's going out with a 27 year old!
(teasus likes tea, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 23:43, 1 reply)

I think I am back to front again
I got up the duff when I was 18, so all that time when my friends were going off traveling and going to Uni and clubbing or going to festivals till they chewed off their own eye lids, I stayed at home and quietly got on with bringing up mini-me and working and doing bits of studying.
I felt bloody old then.
He is 21 now and over the last few years, I have become self employed after going through Uni finally, although not having the same experience as the youngsters in my class. I am now free to do what I want, while all those same friends who looked on me in pity now have dark rings round their eyes, and are frazzled from the lack of sleep, school holidays and endless rounds of fucking face painting.
They wonder where their life has gone and I know THEY now feel old.
Having him so young means I influenced his taste in music, film, comedy, books to the point that he now influences me. I was only young myself of course and still SO into stuff.
We have been to gigs, festivals, comedy clubs, talks all kinds of things together. Some from his suggestion, some from mine.
I get to still spend time in dingy gig venues, surrounded by kids, while I watch HIM play, very fondly remembering being 8 months pregnant and being sat, protecting my big bump at the side of the stage while watching bands like Fugazi.
My 41st birthday was a few weeks ago and he of course came the party along with a gang of his mates and I think I outlasted them all. But yes the recovery takes a hell of a lot longer.
Not that I advocate having kids that young, it wasn't easy but I am now getting to do what I should have been doing years ago.
I do sometimes catch myself wondering how the hell I ended up with such a grown man in my life, and I don't feel especially fit or healthy or really much different to 20 years ago. I don't own a house, I don't have a pension or anything sensible like that, having done much of it on my own.
So those of you feeling all young because you don't have kids, I feel young because I do.
But I do know that living life back to front has been an odd experience, and continues to be, but I don't think I would want it any other way.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 22:58, 15 replies)

Still only 25
I decided that I didn't want to pass 25. When someone asks my age I still say '25', and I stick to it. (Actually it's older than I want to be, but..)

My 11 year old granddaughter thinks this is hilarious. On my last birthday I got a chocolate thing from Thornton's with 'Happy 25th Birthday, Grandad!' inscribed on it by a rather bemused shop assistant.
(Primo, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 22:25, 3 replies)

I had to dig out my birth certificate a while ago
It had the price marked in the corner.
Two shillings and sixpence :-(
( revolution now 👊, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 22:12, 8 replies)

I read books made of paper.
I remember when Ice-T was gangsta.

I'm not going to see 2013, am I?
(Guillaume67 lacking a humourous sig since, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 22:11, Reply)

Getting Old
Several months ago, I had the pleasure of driving my young daughter "up north" for an interview at Birmingham University. It was a short detour to take us through Redditch where I was born and past the Terry's Springs factory where all my family used to work. Alas, the factory was gone; long since destroyed and the land turned over to grazing sheep.

I had the pleasure of telling her: "Eeeh, I remember when this was all factories."
(deadpidge, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:46, 2 replies)

Here's one of Rory as a young 'un. He's not changed.

( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:42, 1 reply)

If I ever...
...start listening to Heart or Magic FM intentionally, I will then know that I am truly getting old.
( gypsy turnips, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:41, 3 replies)

Feeling Old?
I'm 51 tomorrow. Fuck You.
(deadpidge, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:40, 3 replies)

Back in the day
A few days ago I picked my 6 year old cousin up from school.
On the way back to his house he was telling me about what he'd done in history at school, when he said:
"FootOfTim when you went little school did you go in a horse and cart?"

I'm 21.
(FootOfTim, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:40, 1 reply)

Total Perspective Vortex for 50-somethings (like me)
The gap between the present and the release of 'Anarchy in UK' by the Sex Pistols is greater than the gap between the release of 'Anarchy in UK' by the Sex Pistols and the end of World War II
(redexile, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:31, 1 reply)

Getting old is great!
From what I'm reading, people are pretty unhappy about getting old. Well, I don't want to sounds all contrary but I'm loving it.
I'm the ripe old age of 37, but I've never had so much fun in my life. I'm at a point when my career allows me to have a couple of months off a year, I've been travelling more than I've ever done, my palate is sufficiently mature that I no longer think rice and brown sauce sandwiches is the height of good living, and since stopping smoking and taking up yoga I feel younger than I did through my 20's when I smoked 30 a day. Not being afraid to speak my opinion to whoever, instead of shinking off into the corner in a dope haze, is such a good thing. I love speaking to Police Officers, they're so young and cute, it's like being told off by a toddler.
Ok, my gradually growing bald spot could be a concern, but feck it, I can't do owt about it. Anyway, hats are in for 2012.
So yeah, I may have more grey in my beard than I used to, I do sometimes need a nice sit down, and my reactions at first person shooters are a little slower, but the benefits far outweigh any issues.

The reason? I have no kids. Just say no.

PS - The above may be bollocks. I'm off to Sonar in Barcelona next weekend, if the young 'uns having fun wind me up too much and all the fun breaks me, then can I join your "I'm old and miserable" gang, it all sounds rather cosy?
( gadjie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:17, 2 replies)

Just yesterday
I was explaining to a 22 year old how in the olden days you had to BE ON TIME for stuff, coz people would assume you weren't coming and go without you otherwise, The time they waited for you was a measure of your popularity that hasn't been bettered.

The joy of the phone ringing behind the bar at your local and the landlady calling your name out, and you'd go behind the bar to take the call.

Driving or getting the train to a town and buying an A to Z to direct you the last mile or so. "Why didn't you use google" the cloth eared bint asked at this one.

The most effective way to feel old is to see how you relate to kids born today. Take the year of you birth, take away your age. If you're 40 kids born today will see you the way you view someone born in 1932. Have a nice evening.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 21:09, 3 replies)