OK, a proper response
I met a Serbian girl on holiday in Greece. She was hotter than a chilli enema and our intimate parts were conjoined. Only problem: she was engaged to a guy back home and wittered on about him all the time ...

... to the extent that she suggested I might like to drop him a line and introduce myself. Being a self-consciously 'artistic person' at the time, I thought the idea had a certain symmetry and penned a note.

My assumption that he would appreciate the 'symmetry' of us both nobbing his bird was somewhat misplaced. He sent me a long letter describing how he and the soul of his Montenegran grandfather were going to kill me in this life and the next and that I'd better watch my back for the rest of my time on earth.

That's when I sent her a rose by Interflora, just to needle him a bit more. Apparently he tore it to shreds. Too far?
(frankspencer, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 10:10, Reply)

Re Mr Twat's rape story
On the question of whether it should have been removed or not, I think it should have been. There was nothing in it that suggested it was a joke or even an exaggeration. It read like a factual rape story. The whole point of humour is that there has to be a clue, a reason to laugh. There wasn't. It's same with any other story which is based solely on malice. "I glassed this guy when I was drunk" is not funny on any level ...

OK, if a nun wrote it about a priest, then it's funny. But only just.
(frankspencer, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 9:49, Reply)

I know of these sites
www.godhatesamerica.com
www.godhatesfags.com

imagine you want to impose less freedoms on the internet as truths like the 911 inside job and the fact that the IRS is illegal (true: the 16 amendement was never ratified in 1913- but they don't want you to know that)are becoming widely disemminated - dangerously so

how do you clamp down on the internet?

what justification could you create?

how about if you create some bigoted over the top websites spouting hatred and abuse

problem - reaction - solution

think they wouldn't do that?

see Operation Northwoods

EDIT: for those private messaging me about this (IRS issue) (28 so far!) please look up:

'Larkin Rose' and

ex IRS agent 'Sherry Jackson' on google video and google for more info

video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=1658315558785013776&q=%27Sherry+Jackson%27


yes its the biggest con job in history - like th e 911 inside job

video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-4312730277175242198

please look it up and do the research

start with 'Jordan Maxwell'



.
(Betty Bo Bibster, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 9:26, Reply)

Meatloaf...
doing a third 'Bat Out of Hell'

Waaay too far
(Good Looking Deity Grew a magnificent beard on, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 9:26, Reply)

Re: you're all a bunch of twats anyway (below)
The reason for that is the cost to society... and everybody knows... "Good sex costs less at Sainsburys" ;-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 9:24, Reply)

So if rape is funny when it's fictional
but not when it is real, why did the B3TA moderator wankers take of my (obviously fictional) story, but then allow all the disgusting jokes on the main board about the girl who was raped in Sainbury's?
(you're all a bunch of twats anyway, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 9:01, Reply)

The b3tan in me.
At school one day, in PE, we were "learning" archery. It was a rather warm day, and quite windy, so there were frequent drink breaks. It was at some point someone called to me: "Oi, do you wanna come get a drink?". Naturally I did what b3ta has taught me to do; I swiftly thought of the rudest reply to this I could think of. I said:"Yeah sure I'll come! I'll come all the way up your back!" There was a long silence but soon the wind died down and we resumed being unable to understand archery.
( Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 7:17, Reply)

once in my house
i was sitting down at my pc decided to lean my chair back, i went too far and fell backwards

bollocks
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 5:17, Reply)

I need laughs.
Please don't fight. I need my daily fix of b3ta and QOTW or I'll go "to far" off the deep end.

I'm an American, b3ta & QOTW are the only sane things in my life, as I live in a 300 million people nut house run by a frat boy cheerleader. Who went to far.
(barrycounty, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 3:51, Reply)

i think it's going too far
to post something that's obviously going too far

and then remove it because people complained that you went too far!

*spangs*

*edit* i want that post mr yourallabunchofwankersanyway

*edit edit* putting your arm in up to the elbow... is that going to far? probably for a first date...
(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 2:00, Reply)

Where were the police?
I possibly went a little too far when I drove up a one-way lane the wrong way and then up on to the nature strip to avoid hitting several cars and buses. In front of the police station.
(satellite blows, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 22:36, Reply)

I think this is going too far.
There used to be a great pub in Cambridge which hosted rock bands and the like. The landlord some years back was a real hard case who would play jokes on anyone who drank themselves to sleep in the bar. He would do all the usual stuff like shaving eyebrows, supergluing thumbs to foreheads and once a cock to a thigh.

On one occasion a guy was knocking back the shorts like there was no tomorrow and passed out on the table. His trousers were lowered followed by his boxers and a condom with some shampoo put in it was poked up his arse with a back of a spoon and a card was gaffa-taped to his chest with, "While you were asleep, you were gang bummed".

When this poor unfortunate soul awoke he noticed his trousers and pants were around his ankles. It was when he stooped down quickly to pull them up, as we had all began cheering, and he was clearly a tad embarrased, he felt something odd and paused for a second before pulling them up completely and making a swift exit for the bog. Everyone in the bar was, by now, collapsing in tears of laughter. A few moments went by and he returned, minus the sign and fully dressed. You could see he was really holding back real tears and he just walked through the bar, shouted "BASTARDS!", and disappeared through the door. Now, in my opinion, that really is going far too far. He hadn't even paid his tab.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 16 Nov 2006, 21:35, Reply)

Once upon a time there was a messageboard called b3ta
and one quiet evening, someone found a particularly laughable "personal homepage", belonging to a chap called A***** W*********.

Not just did he have photos of his car, his washing machine and his female lodger... he had a chatroom.

As a few old-timers may remember, we went far too far. Far far far too far. The details should probably remain hidden in the midsts of time.

Looking back, I for one don't feel good about it, but fuck it was funny.

I wonder if he's got a new page now?

*heads for google*
( chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 20:49, Reply)

Oh thank fuck,
cuntage revoked aaaaand

STOP THE REPLIES!
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Thu 16 Nov 2006, 20:14, Reply)

actualiy
spot on lad, it's a quality read!
(Mike D, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 20:02, Reply)

Right I know I'm contradicting myself here,
and I'm replying to an answer but I can see why now! Unless I'm being not too clever and Mike D's comment was some clever example of going too far, then I'd just like to say.....

Mike D is a cunt Mike D is a cunt Mike D is a cunt. Go away from b3ta and never darken my towels again.


Yes I am a cunt too, and saying this will put a stop too your smart arse replies.
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Thu 16 Nov 2006, 19:57, Reply)

well...
i thought the jokes on here were funny,



then i brought the b3ta sick jokes book.
(Mike D, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 19:52, Reply)

Dole Scum Scrounger
Mothers brother-in-law has never done a days work in his life. After a lifetime of scrounging benefits he and his wife, think it's their right to be given money by the government.

After they had new a new kitchen and bathroom fitted at our expense, the council workers discovered damp in the house and arranged for new damp proof courses to be laid. All free of charge and the work to start the following week.

This wasn't good enough, he decided he and his wife should be put up in a hotel and be given compensation. They had the house free ffs. They were even trying to get the council to give them a free loft conversion.

Bearing in mind he'd told my mother to piss off in front of me the week before:

Time for a letter from the council...

Mrs Mbeki-Ktanga CDM, wrote a nice letter to him, on a previously scanned council letterhead, letting them know they had been booked into a nice hotel for the week the works would be done, this included breakfast and dinner. She also told him that there would be £100 behind the bar for snacks during the day, read vodka, he being a bit of an alchy...

He rang my mother on the monday saying he wouldn't be able to pop round as they were packing; the council had put them up in a hotel. He told my mother that he was trying to get the hotel to give him the £100 the council had put behind the bar.

He had also shown the letter to everyone of his neighbours and the council workers to show what you could get if you complained and demanded compensation.

Mother rang him back to explain just before he got into the taxi. I had told mother to go to the hotel with the video camera.
(Yellow Car is now red, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 19:28, Reply)

the whole twat thing
Personally, I thought it was funny, and it was pretty obviously made up. C'mon people, I know it's b3ta, but let's try and use a bit of common sense, eh?
(bblgoose, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 19:26, Reply)

There is a lot of confusion on this topic,
So I've decided to compile a list of what is funny and what isn't.

Rape- Funny if fictional, not overly funny if real.

Animal Abuse- Not shocking enough to be funny when fictional, too much of a twats game to be funny when real.

AIDS- See rape.

Public nudity- Always funny if a little childish.

Goatse and other sexually disturbing and explicit acts- Moderately funny, if disgusting.

apeloverage- Not funny. (Note that this comment goes too far, making this an answer to the QOTW)

If you disagree I don't care. If you agree I don't care. If you feel you must have your say don't post a fucking reply! Just make use of the mail system.
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Thu 16 Nov 2006, 18:39, Reply)

godhatesamerica, ...sweden, ...canada and ...fags .com

are all done by the same people, Westboro Baptist Church, and yes they're serious. They're the same people who picket funerals of gay people, American soldiers (not because they're against war as such but because America has gay rights) and various pro-gay people like Martin Luther King's widow.

I think it's kind of like the ultra-conservative Christian version of being into death metal.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 18:36, Reply)

The Christmas Cracker Joke
Christmas dinner - 1997.

Well, there I was eating my turkey and potatoes like every year when my grandmother who wasn't dead back then, asks me to pull her cracker. I mull this over briefly then decide that 'yes, I'll get involved'. So I pull and I win. Get in there. The little slip of paper with the joke on escapes and flutters down on to the table. I pick it up and then cough to demand silence. The table complies and I read the joke aloud: "When is a door, not a door?" I then pause, as I was once told by Tommy Cannon (from Cannon and Ball) that a comedic pause would accentuate the delivery.

Just as I'm about to drop the bomb, and deliver this pre-written comedy gem, my brother Algernon leaps in there and shouts "when it's ajar!!!".

How did he know the punchline??? That cracker was sealed? I came to the only reasonable conclusion - he had a time machine. Yes, that must be it. He had built a time machine and travelled into the future to hear me tell my joke, then travelled back and stole my glory.

Well, I'm not taking that!!! so I went upstairs to his bedroom and farted on his duvet.
(Andrew Avetoom, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 18:28, Reply)

So, God hates everyone then?
Christ! I've just been on God Hates America AND Sweden (and apparently Canada too...)

These guys, here (and while, like Gravity, I hate to think it's serious yet it patently is), have got the 'Going too far thing' covered...

Besides, it's not God killing all the Americans... Nonono, the guns and bullets are doing that!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 18:08, Reply)

WBC
yup.. same bunch.. and they'er absoloutly serious.

I had e-mail contact with one of them askign why they said there were 20,000 dead swedes, and that ALL of them had been in thailand to sodomise children...

The response was surprisingly childish... shoign that they had piss-all IQ and an inability to argue with sense and fact.

Hey.. this QOTW is degenerating terribly.

PLEASE.... READ THE "RULES" AND DON'T POST RESPONSES.

oh shit.. the irony... *pop*
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 16 Nov 2006, 18:07, Reply)

Response
www.godhatesamerica.com
www.godhatesfags.com

I believe they are by the same people, and I find it hard to believe (yet I actually DO believe) they are serious...I fear for the future...

Just thought I'd point out the front page joke sponsored by the Fuhrer himself "What's so great about fucking kids?" "Their tiny hands make your cock look big"

I've never seen such a ridiculous column of thread responses on B3ta
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 16 Nov 2006, 17:56, Reply)

I live in Sweden...
I find this to be a little bit beyond the line...

www.godhatessweden.com

Follow the page about Sweden being the land of sodomites... there's a great piccy of our princess...

Westborogh Baptist Church... now THEY are nut-jobs...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 16 Nov 2006, 17:42, Reply)

One for I have run out of coke
I think the only time I have ever (possibly) gone too far on this board is when i hijacked someone elses username (or made it look like almost the_same_as_theirs) and then told everyone that I had been sexually abused as my (their) father which lead me to become a police officer...

Sorry ...Coke. Thought it'd be a good time to own up.
(Let's all have an asbo, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 17:38, Reply)

SN109
5 October 1999

One day Driver Hodder went that little too far...


RIS? click here to get unRIS


Did I go too far???
(Matthew-field.co.uk, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 17:23, Reply)

HAHa
I like my housemates stealing my milk. So ive bought a new one and put laxatives in it
(City wall is not doing much, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 17:16, Reply)

this is turning into oprah!
or worse, jeremy kyle...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 17:05, Reply)