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This is a question Guilty Pleasures, part 2

It's been a while since we last asked this question and CaptainFellatioNelson's confession that he likes "to fart under the duvet, creep in and see how long I can last only on the fart air contained within" reminded us just how good it was last time.

What are the little things you do for fun when nobody else is around?

(, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:48)
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When travelling by plane
I sometimes hope that it will crash and I'll be killed. Then I wouldn't have to live the rest of my life.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:21, 18 replies)
Aren't you a bit old to be an emo?
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:35, closed)
I often

ponder what it would be like to simply steer off the road at full pelt. Not that I am miserable, just curious.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:38, closed)
I can see some emo-porn heading our way shortly.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:43, closed)
@NakedApe - I've thought that too
and worryingly, often the urge to try it out becomes quite strong, at which point you have to snap yourself back to reality before you actually do it. Same with jumping off the platform on the tube. I have no suicidal tendencies whatsoever, it's just curiosity...
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:44, closed)
Mr Spencer!
As a long time lurker I for one enjoy your flights of fantasy in QoTW and hope that you're not planning on doing anything hasty!
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:46, closed)
Steering off the road.
If you were to steer off the road. This is what would happen.

The ride would get a bit bumpy. At this stage, panic will set in to every single cell in your body. You try to change your mind, but now the car is out of control. You see a huge ditch coming to you. The breaks do nothing, your in a spin now.

The car plows into a ditch and there is nothing you can do. It hits with a large PHRAP and the car tips over onto its roof.

Yoru hanging upside down with the steering column fully embedded into your groin in a wreck of metal. The only thing stopping you falling is said steering column thus putting great strain on your pelvis. The engine compartment has smashed through crushing both your legs. The side impact airbag has broken your arm in 3 places - which is now hanging off on just skin and flesh.
You have blood pouring down your face into your eyes from smashing your forehead on the steering wheel.

As you scream in pain. You wish you were going faster so that youd be dead.

Still curious? :D
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 15:50, closed)
Thanks to Miggyman I'm no longer curious.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:08, closed)
^ what chickenlady said
I'll drive home safe tonight.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:22, closed)
for this reason my driving licence has to be renewed annually. Well, on medical grounds because I'm a mentalist, but the DVLA seems to have a fear that people with severe mental illness might be dangerous behind the wheel. Evidently no more so than your average b3ta contributor...
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:25, closed)
On the other hand...
There's also the idea that you drive home as fast as possible. Then if you do crash, at least it'll be a quick death.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:31, closed)
does that mean
that if you die in your sleep it takes aaaaages?
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:40, closed)
Hell, Frank
remind me never to get in a car with you!
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:42, closed)
i do the whole 'hope it crashes thing' but mostly so i can imagine the wild craziness going on around me as we plunged towards the ground, watching the whole thing kicked back in the chair grinning

Maybe easyjet just does that to people?
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 16:47, closed)
i hate planes
A few hundred tonnes of metal & plastic held up by stupidly combustible liquids, and lots of it.

am always stunned i haven't died in a flaming ball of agony every time i get off.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 17:08, closed)
a friend of mine...
..crashed her Impreza off a road and down a hill after sliding on ice.

She said it went:

sky, ground, BANG, clatter clatter,
sky, ground, BANG, clatter clatter,
sky, ground, BANG, clatter clatter,
sky, ground, BANG, clatter clatter,
sky, ground, BANG, clatter clatter,
sky, ground, BANG.
with the roof getting a bit lower on each bang.

She was allright though.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 19:31, closed)
As it happens, Big Girls Blouse is going to get on a plane in two hours to return to England.

If anything happens to her, Frank, it's on your balding head.
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 19:47, closed)
Is that a guilty pleasure though ?
Most nights, when I go to sleep (especially if I'm really tired) I hope that I will die in my sleep in the night. Strange, as I'm very happy, having most of the things in life that people seem to think are important (which I also think are important).
It's just one day, that won't be the case, and I feel like quitting while I'm ahead of the game.
Past 40 and it can only go downhill - can't it ?
(, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 21:23, closed)
Thats odd
Are you quite sure you wouldn't get sucked off by the airhostess first?

hmm :|
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 10:41, closed)

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