Oh well you're all scoffing now but wait till you hit middle-age.
You'll be signing your life away for the chance to get rid of your beer guts and bingo wings.




MARK MY WORDS.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 14:59, 24 replies)

Nope
My Dad is 61, has the same physique as I do and is very fit for his age. I've no reason to believe that I'll end up any other way.

/awesome metabolism
( Captain V, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:01, closed)

Well there will be exeptions to any rule.
Awesome metabolism cuntface.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:06, closed)

*smug*

( Captain V, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:07, closed)

I used to think I had an awesome metabolism
Turned out that I was a 28 inch waisted streak of piss for good reason, and that was down to walking several miles a day to college and work rather than spend hard earned beer money cash on bus fare.

The gaining of a desk bound job combined with a sudden added splurge of extra beer money soon put paid to that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:17, closed)

Fuck you so very fucking much
I have the most ludicrously efficient metabolism ever - I gain more weight from eating than the actual weight of the food I eat. I am quite literally gaining mass from latent energy in some sort of gross violation of the conventions of physics and chemistry.

Arsebollockingfucknuggetry.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 15:29, closed)

Middle age?!
Fuck it I'm ahead of my time, an extra inch for every year over 30 so far...hope it stops soon.
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:13, closed)

That's no good
I've been a 30" waist for the last twenty years.

/smug
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:36, closed)

it's middle YOUTH sweetie ;o)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:17, closed)

'Ello love
Hard at it I see :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:18, closed)

you'd like that, wouldn't you?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:23, closed)

*spluffs*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:25, closed)

*passes tissues*

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:26, closed)

*wipes*
*drops on floor under desk*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:27, closed)

NEEDS MOAR SPELLCHECK

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:29, closed)

Ninja edited!
Can you pick me up at 5? I think I'm going to struggle to stay any later.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:31, closed)

MONGTARD!
Yes I'll pick you up at 5pm if the that's the longest you can saty :-p
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:34, closed)

Ninjad again
I am trying to do this on the sly you know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:35, closed)

ninja editing mong

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:35, closed)

Charming.
14 weeks of marriage and the abuse has started...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:37, closed)

doing it on the sly
or typing with your cock?

edit/
this is no ordinary abuse..........
this is M&S abuse.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:39, closed)

Feck off
And make my tea, wench.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:44, closed)

pffffffffft!

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:48, closed)

I'm...
Just going to keep my head down, due to my beer belly.

*psst* I'm 21
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:28, closed)

By the time I hit middle age...
Somebody will have invented some sort of electronic fat-reducing pod thingie. Fat bastard goes in, flick a switch - Mr beefcake comes out.
Or civilisation will have collapsed and I'll be to busy hiding from the marauding hordes to worry about my beergut. Which will be keeping me alive with its stored fat anyway.
(Big D, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 19:41, closed)