people that dont like stuff just because everyone else does
Music in perticular, for example my friend who suddenly decided she was going to be a 'grunger' and hate the world, stops liking bands when they become to 'mainstream' and then she moans that nobody has heard the stuff shes into.

firstly, just because other people like it dosent change the way the music sounds, and secondly the reason people like it is because its good music, the other stuff noone has heard of is shite thats why no where plays it or noone buys it!

argh, you just cant win with these people
(anon., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 12:12, Reply)

Someone else mentioned it... Natasha Bedingfield
every radio station, every tv show, every 'effin awards ceremony - she' on it, sing "these words are my own..."

isn't she bored yet? it's been like, 2 years or something floating around... and she's always singing it live on Ant and Dec, the saturday show, parky, damn damn damn shut the fook up with "these words.." i swear it's a conspiracy...

she would get it up the wrong 'un, mind...
(TheManofScience, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 12:06, Reply)

Moleste
I thought that moleste replaced huge.. Or more to the point, molest replaces hug
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:59, Reply)

why Bright Lights triggers Sneezing.
Noone has ever answered that one for me.

any takers?
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:57, Reply)

because my friend, the guy that doesnt cover the biscuit in his lurve gravy, has to eat it.

( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:55, Reply)

Moleste
Ahh.. that I can help with.. moleste replaces "moleste"

Edit: Arse.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:55, Reply)

Soggy Biscuit.
or in Sweden as it's known : Runka-Bulla (w@nking bread-roll)

I don't quite get it... I've never played it, but I'm fully aware of the rules.

A few guys stand around, burping the worm, the objective being to fill the bun/spooge the biscuit. the LOOSER is the one who shoots his bolt the last. (and his booby-prize is to munch the afore-mentioned Iced Bun)

So.. the LOOSER is the guy who fails to become turned on, while standing in a ring with lots of other guys who, like him, are all fwapping thier way to glory.

That, in my books should make him the winner.

HOW in the name of Limp Rich-Teas, can that guy be the looser?

EDIT for the sake of PMGT: Duh. Really? I've already stated that the las tto spooge has to eat the accumulated spooge.... *hands PMGT a 'Duffer' shirt*
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:52, Reply)

Take that, East 17, Back Door Boys...
I still shake my head in disbelief.

It's something that has always confused me.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:47, Reply)

Obscure degrees
Is there really a need for people to study for a degree in "Electronic Music and Tourism"? This course was actually available from The University of Hertfordshire (Hatfield Poly in old money).

What job would have this as a requirement, Butlins Red Coat perhaps?

Still, money well spent I'm sure.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:45, Reply)

Bluetooth Ear Pieces
fuck me off no end... EVERY FUCKER stands wearing them on buses, in shops, on the till at Asda... they look like an extra from the matrix with this fancy piece of gadgetry stuck in their lugs - but it's not just Area Managers for Littlewoods stood in the shopping centre wearing them - it's grannies, middle aged men who have elvis haircuts - EVERYONE! it'll only take an extra 0.67 seconds to get if from yer fizzing pocket - AND YOU WON'T LOOK LIKE A TOSSER YOU COCKMUNCHER
(TheManofScience, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:44, Reply)

Horse-Face and Charlie-Boy.
I know the lad's got Jug-ears, but he really could do better.... right?
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:42, Reply)

Fasion Again.
NAF.

A word of Aussie origin, and apparently an acronym for "Nasty As Ferk"... sooooo...

HOW can "NafNaf" become cool. I know it was years ago, but we KNEW that if meant "shite".

That brings me to "Duffer". IS it only the idots who don't know that "duffer" is a not-so-old-word for idiot? No problem there... they aptly label themselves by wearing the shit.

Then in the US... white kids wearing FUBU brand stuff.... FUBU was (so i am told) started by a bunch of Black people, and it is and Acronym for "For US By US".. so any white kid wearing it might as well be trying to join the Black Panthers...

So... the trend seems to be based on ignorance... a complete lack of knowledge regarding the text on your clothes.

If anyone in the fasion industy is reading this... PLEASE start a label called "Goon" or "Pillock"... It might get the Burberry-Chimps to change clothes.

Maybe the logo for Goon clothing could be "Deoxyribonucleic Acid Deficcient" and the muppets could wear it with pride.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:40, Reply)

Other People!
Things that continue to befuddle me:

- People who say "crutch" instead of "crotch". A crutch goes under your arm. The same can only be said of a crotch if you're into bag-piping.

- People who overtake aggressively (esp on 30mph roads). Don't they see me right behind them again at the next roundabout/ crossing/ traffic light? Congratulations, twunt; you got home one car-length quicker...

- People who hate students, and complain about how much they "cost" the country: they'll be grateful next time they need a doctor/ solicitor/ scientist/ engineer / accountant/ airline pilot/ medicine/ DVD/ computer/ linguist/ hearing-aid/ teacher/ dentist/ games-console/ stem-cell research/ suspension bridge/ geologist/ car/ satellite/ weather forecast... etc. And yes, students do drink. Lots. And these people are just jealous.

{stands down from soapbox, and goes to sit in the dark - Apologies for length, width and girth. I'm a b3ta virgin, go easy on me!}
(noir, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:38, Reply)

fashion shows
when was the last time you saw anyone walking down the street in something exhibited at a fashion show? Christ, it must be the only profession you cannot fail at, as anything you design at all will be applauded.
(insert username here, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:26, Reply)

Music...
Enrique Iglesias. Why is he popular? His dad is a wanky piano player, and Enrique has a voice which sounds like he has a cold all the time. The same goes for Dido. Admittedly she's quite attractive, but she can't sing.

Boy Bands. Why were they ever liked? Thank God the era of the boy band appears to be over.

Brian McFadden. What a cunt. And I bet he thought a beard would make him look more serious.

Gangsta Rappers. Why do they take themselves so seriously?! They look ridiculous!
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:20, Reply)

randomness
Remembered another.

I spent all my life wondering why Artic lorries were named so. I figured it was because they were cold.

One day, whilst on a driving lesson, I realised artic was short for 'articulated'.

Gutted.
(sporky, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:18, Reply)

I don't understand
what moleste replaces??! I just can't! somebody please help me!
(homochicken, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:18, Reply)

The Fizz channel
Music channel for chavs, playing lots of 50cent. Best bit is they can 'chat' and see their messages on-screen, for the bargain £1 a text!

If you want to see chavs try and date by text, tune in.
(insert username here, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:16, Reply)

internet jargon
i just dont get it,
i mean what the fuck! is wtf?
(leftyleft, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:12, Reply)

I'll never understand people who don't like the word
cunt.
(i anglepoise, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:10, Reply)

I don't understand..
how the Pope is still ali..

oh.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:09, Reply)

grrr
I don't get why small hung men who drive BMWs feel the need to drive like complete tossers and overtake anything in their way.
You get to the next set of traffic lights and they're only two cars infront. Titty Biscuits.
(Is this it like eggs but better, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:09, Reply)

why does my mum....
...and her entire generation call black people coloured?
why do people drive in the middle lane on empty motorways?
why do express readers need to know royal news every single day?
why are there traffic policemen?
why did the single player in blockbusters still have to go 4/5s of the distance the team of two had to?
321 with ted rogers - wtf?
lesbian porn - doesn't everyone like to see a bit of the old in-out in-out?

*spent*
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:05, Reply)

Accessories
Be they I-Pods, mobile phones, earrings, handbags or most of all, watches. I don't get what accessories do for people. Clothes make people look good, phones do not. Never have I found any of the above items to make their owner look better than they would without them. Obviously some people do see this but I just don't get it. It puzzles me, especially when they are so expensive.


I also don't get whether religious people really believe in God. Sometimes when I'm talking to a religious person about why they believe I get the impression that what they're trying to say is "We don't know if it's true really but it makes your life better to believe so why not?". But I'm not sure.

I don't get it when you have a phone-in competition on TV and the contestants have to guess, say, how many pickled eggs there are in a jar. If there are 2 contestants and the first says 10 then the second will always say something like 30. Why? If they think it's more thay should just say 11! Fools.

Cars in general and Formula 1 in particular. I suspect there was a special class at school where everyone learnt about cars and stuff that I just missed. It always puzzled me when I was younger how people who had never driven in their lives would have an opinion on the new Mazda ZX-Phallus or whatever.

Michael Jackson. everyone knows he's a fruitcake, that's not what I don't get. What I don't get is why so many people with good taste in music (similar to mine) insist that he is the King of Pop. His music is poo! A few cool songs maybe, but none as good as Toxic by Britney Spears. Maybe she will be similarly idolised by morons in the years to come.

Why do people hate the beautiful south? Maybe not the coolest group around, but I don't know what they did to deserve such venomous dislike from so many people.

As someone said earlier: My Hero. ???
Why oh why, in the name of all that is good an pure, is it on its FIFTH series?

Girls and chocolate, sweet stuff in general. Just don't see the attraction.

Edit: shit, sorry that's quite long isn't it? Sorry, won't happen again.
(chocolatepossum, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:05, Reply)

Adverts
1. The crazy frog and the chick thing. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?

2. Linda Braker. Why is she famous? No-one likes her anyway.

3. Cream and Hard House CD style adverts. SOme annoying bloke shouting "its totally mad!" or more recently "like nothing you've ever heard before!" I have heard every peice of crap on that album before, there is nothing new or exciting, whats the point?

Aaaaand, Im done.
(Graz Da Frog, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 11:00, Reply)

Politics
I get in a hopeless pickle as to who does what to whom and why. I still muddle my left and right.

I don't get spelling, I even mistrust spell checker.

and I just don't get work. It seems so unfair.
(Funky Spingers, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 10:55, Reply)

"FCUK" T shirts
Or, more specifically, people who think it's cool to wear one of these "hilarious" shirts.

They're NOT FUNNY!!! How long will it take you to get it?

Not only were they not funny to begin with - 6 years ago - but they're not funny today, so stop wearing them now? alright? They don't make you look cool, or clever, or witty, or anything of the sort.
They just make you look like a twat.

PS - I did once see a bloke wearing a bootleg "Fcuk" shirt in Covent Garden which was pure genius and sums up everything I think about said garment.
It was made up in exactly the same font, with small white letters on a black shirt & simply said "fuck fcuk".
Genius.
The only tragedy, of course, is that it's probably too subtle for the people it's taking the piss out of to realise.
Ah well.
(Soupy Twist BEST BEFORE:, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 10:40, Reply)