CUM

This must've happened to every heterosexual guy, surely.

Once had a girlfriend who just wasn't into oral sex at all. NOT. AT. ALL.

One night in bed after my sexy talk had failed, the booze had failed, and my fall back plan of whining was stuttering, she turns to me and says:

"You are such a fucking hypocrite, Spanky. Do you know what THAT stuff tastes like?"

I shake my head, wondering where this was leading.

She grabs my cock and starts bringing me off. Ooohh, this is nice, I think.

And when I cum she cups it in her hand, and in an authoritarian tone says:

"Open," and holds it up to my mouth.

Well... I'm not a hypocrite anymore...

Didn't taste that bad, actually, a bit like hot snot.
( SpankyHanky, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 19:32, 19 replies)

Ugh
I think I could eat hot snot in a pinch, but I just manage to swallow. It's foul...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 19:46, closed)

Oh my
God!!!
(Save Us All !!!, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 19:47, closed)

Spanky
you never cease to amaze me! nice!
(Errin C, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 19:47, closed)

Yuk
thats horrible but i like it - clicky
(Grrrrr Tigers, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 19:49, closed)

mmm
yummeh!
( weaver., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 20:35, closed)

Maybe it's just me
but after my mum let on that she knew I lay in bed at night pumping out teaspoonful after teaspoonful of sticky goo, "I've seen the evidence" as she put it, I took to wiping it off my belly and eating it. Tastes OK and my bed sheets don't need boiling.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 20:47, closed)

thing is
even if you don't like the taste of cum, you can still go down on someone and then just pull it out before the last minute.

I do not speak from experience.

I mean experience of sucking dick, not not liking cum.


Not that I know what cum taste like.


Fuck
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 20:54, closed)

Happy shopper/Smart Price
chicken soup.

Eeeeeeeeeough!

*spits*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 20:56, closed)

Surely men could have evolved to taste better?
Frankly, I only swallow it to get rid of it as it has a habit of sticking to everything otherwise.

A friend of mine had a boyfriend who she swore black and blue tasted exactly like chocolate *makes a mental note to introduce more chocolate into Mr Maladicta's diet*
( Maladicta, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 23:45, closed)

This is often my argument for the non-existance of God...
... if God made man in his own image, he would have made him taste like chocolate!

Hell knows, I would.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 17:47, closed)

Oh c'mon!
From frank discussion with gentleman friends, most men have tasted themselves (whether through accidental overspurt or a girlfriend insisting we know what she has to put up with. Or through self experimentation).

At least jizz doesn't make your tongue tired. Unlike the production of lady juices which can make you feel like that bit of skin underneath your tongue that stops you from swallowing it is breaking, only to give you that "ach, ach, ach" slightly furry feeling on the back of your tongue.

Yes, it might taste good off of our fingers to you, but that's because it's mixed with the scent of tobacco and beer.

And god forbid you get an after nightclub sweaty one....

Not recently bitter. Honest.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 0:03, closed)

Not make your tongue tired?
As much as I don't want to do this as it will seriously dent my reputation, I need to call in a quote from Sex and the City:

"Easy? You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing!"

/does not own the boxset and the movie. Honest.
( Maladicta, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 0:38, closed)

I don't know what you mean
I actually did tear that bit of skin! Blood and swelling ensued, but I didn't realise 'til i finished the job.
(baldpig pee'd in your pool on, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 0:49, closed)

Nah, doesn't taste that bad
Having compared both, going down on a guy is much easier than going down on a girl. both taste similar in how nice it is, although the flavours are very different.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 1:04, closed)

Hahaha nice!
If they don't like it in their mouth, simply splurge 'em in the eye and see which they prefer haha
(Sir General ***WoW***, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 8:36, closed)

Treat it like an oyster
You're supposed to swallow it whole, not chew it.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 18:18, closed)

All men enjoy their own
Or is that farts?
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 9:57, closed)

I heard
that male pornstars eat a lot of tomatoes cos it makes it taste nicer for the female co-stars. Might be bullshit though.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 14:24, closed)

Drink lots of pineapple juice, apparently.
Or, if your girlfriend has pissed you off, eat lots of sugar puffs.

*no longer has girlfriend*
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 10:59, closed)