If b3ta were 4chan
One week of:
No morals.
No rules.
No limits on how much of a cunt you can be.
(Peter_G, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 23:06, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Two hundred quid cash. A Christmas viral for a military charity
Spare me if you hate the military. And spare me your cheap cracks. Two hundred quid, cash, is at stake here, so lets focus, shall we?

Good.

Heres the deal. I need a cutsey cute e-Christmas card that can be downloaded for about a fiver. It should be dead easy for the buyers to stick 'Happy Christmas from Gazza and the Family, apart from Kyle-Winog who is working through her issues in Care'

or whatever.

An open brief. It can be as edgy as you want, but take the Mick and we're not paying.

PM me here if you are up for it. Or post. Or call me Ethel Merman. I have no problem being called Ethel Merman.

All proceeds go to the charity, and I'll stick the cash with the board owners to put in escrow.
(PinkFairy, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 19:38, Reply)

IRL Photoshop
How would it be if you could photoshop your life - what would you change, tweak, embolden or just plain 'hot it up' a bit? Open up 'tatty' and change your/the world!
( Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 17:37, Reply)

New banks, hopefully ones that aren't run by cunts
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8336286.stm
( Watney Heckbulb uhnnnnnnnn has a new blog: www.skepticcanary.com, Sat 31 Oct 2009, 23:09, Reply)

Unediting edited photos.
Set the internets right again.
Example:
www.b3ta.com/board/9774613
(emuman cant afford PS so he beats MSPaint into submission, Sat 31 Oct 2009, 22:04, Reply)

Pornutopia...
...what would it look like?
(--++--++-- Earl of Rottingham, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 23:53, Reply)

Pumpkin carving
topical, and not pc based!
(laika, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 8:43, Reply)

new fangled internet addresses....
The interweb is about to be opened to non-latin characters for domain names ...what comical addresses will be filling our "favourites" in future?
(--++--++-- Earl of Rottingham, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 6:20, Reply)

STALIN-LIGHT EXPRESS!
Im telling you! working on the popularity of A list actors taking to the stage, past and present dictators are now working on their own musical numbers to cash in! examples - Fidel on the roof, Mary PolPotPoppins, Idi amammamia, Cats-tro!
(StruStru saving the world at no extra charge, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:55, Reply)

Unlikely Tattoos
This challenge would provide limitless opportunity for body-art humor and might appeal to a wide range of b3tans.
( LS18, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Kriss Akabusi
Akabusi scaled the walls of the £756,000 Sussex mansion with all the stealth of a gekko on a Mallorcan shower wall. As luck would have it the window was open. He dropped in and slipped out of his dungerees and let the cool air caress his polished ebony skin.

The house was quiet. He looked into one room and saw the sleeping Peter Andre - without the wig and wax on his face he was rather beautiful. But Akabusi wasn't into arses. Not today.

He heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He ran along the landing, his giant cock swinging in the air like Saddam on Youtube. He looked into the bathroom and saw a mad little f**ker, big as a barrel and blind as a bat leaping up and down in some boiling water.

"Akabusi!" said a voice behind him. "Stop looking at my son with your cock out".

Akabusi slowly turned around and saw Katie Price in front of him - wearing nothing but a Juicy Couture camisole and the slightest glistening of her ample clunge.

As ever Akabusi's cock became harder than the Guardian cryptic and proceeded to bang her tits off as Harvey ate a bag of Prawn Cocktail crisps from the floor that Akabusi had brought just in case.

Before Akabusi left he wiped his now dying cock on Harvey's afro, bent down to the prone Jordan, who lay liked a painter's radio in the moonlight, and whispered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
(cadmium Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 11:32, Reply)

I've seen a lot of debate recently about the promotion of homosexuality...
...and whilst undoubtedly many - including me - condone or justify homosexuality, I've never seen anyone actually try promoting it. I feel this should be rectified

Concepts so far:
"We won't ram it down your throat - unless you ask nicely"
"Remember when you were 8, thought girls were rubbish, and life was great? Bring it all back, be a gay."
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 13:04, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

bnp questiontime
mr griffin needs a second run!
(injektilo smoking the weed that killed elvis, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 5:47, Reply)

photoshop Royal Mail
as we brace ourselves for yet another fucking postal strike - surely it's our duty to either support their cause by creating the Postman of the future; or to make them look as silly as possible. Your choice..
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 15:41, Reply)

This month is Black History Month.
Celebrate by illustrating your favourite Black History events-
The abolition of slavery, Martin Luther King's speech, the time the BBC interviewed that taxi driver by mistake...
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 13:27, Reply)

fucking

( d d, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 8:42, Reply)

arnold shwatzenaggerrrr
with boobs
( d d, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 8:41, Reply)

Retro bouncy challenge! :)
so there beginning to make a rather large appearance on The Censorship challenge! but now there a big boy i think they can have there own :)
(JakeSeath101, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 19:57, Reply)

This week's challenge is to complain about this week's challenge.
Perhaps you'd like to make an amusing picture showing that the person who selected the challenge is a big gayer with no friends.
Or maybe you'd prefer to have a long rant about how we're in for another week of shit noob posts and TOAPs because it doesn't require any skill.
You might just want to reminisce about previous challenges which you complained bitterly about at the time but which you now look back on fondly, as in 'why don't we get any of those good challenges any more like the one with the black rectangles or the one where we had to draw cocks on everything'.
For my entry I will be writing a strongly worded letter to the Daily Telegraph.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 0:57, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Seeing as we usually end up with a challenge and alternative challenge...
How about we make it official. Both challenges are named at the same time.
You pick which one you want to enter and then stick to it. This becomes your 'team'.
At the end of the week the team with the most pictures on the popular page wins.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 23:29, Reply)

Jan Moir
One of b3ta's occasional two word challenges.
(Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Best of B3ta
I was thinking this might make a good challenge for Christmas time - what about a 'just repost the images you're most proud of' competition? It could be limited to no more than three or four per person (or even one per person, but that would deprive us of too much HappyToast, I feel). Have you ever made a pic that somehow never got the adulation you think it deserved? Or a FP that you'd like to give another airing? And of course, the compo winners would, by definition, be the Best Of The Best...
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 17:36, Reply)

Photoshop the Tabloids!
The tabloids are always stealing pictures from B3TA and using them uncredited. Teach them a lesson by making pictures they wouldn't want to steal.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:05, Reply)

...and I feel fine
If the world were coming to an end, how would the myriad media adapt?


( Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Photoshop the "Twilight Zone"
It's 50 years old this month, so how about it? :-)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twilight_Zone_(1959_TV_series)#Season_1_.281959-1960.29
(Stashie is plotting against his blender on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Cowboys versus...
Pit cowboys against Godzilla, or Vanessa Feltz.
( Smallbrainfield, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:19, Reply)