Join the army!
Lets face it, it's not the most promising future in these times of uncertainty. How to get recruitment levels on the rise again? Preferably involve giant monkey type things of some description.

( Damien's Hearse, Mon 11 Dec 2006, 11:29, Reply)

No kittens? Oh noes!!1
What would the world and the internet be like if there were no kittens?
(cnidaria0 Cnidaria, Sun 10 Dec 2006, 23:10, Reply)

Euphemisms
Turns out that I don't know all of the euphemisms that people use. What would be really nice is if some loosely-coupled collection of talented Internet artists and photoshoppers could provide some sort of illustrated guide to euphemisms.

Get to it b3ta!

:)
(Guinness2702 Meh! Do I look like I care?, Sat 9 Dec 2006, 14:14, Reply)

Filthy fucking christmas cards
The recent uk christmas postage stamp with santa shitting down the chimney gave me the idea.I'd love to be able to send foul xmas cards to my mates instead of the usual santa,robins wise men etc.
(freddred, Sat 9 Dec 2006, 14:10, Reply)

OK
1) Santa never existed. What would the ad campaigns be then?

2) Christianity never stole the Pagan festival. What would those corporate bastards do then for ad campaigns.
( riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 9 Dec 2006, 2:58, Reply)

we all know santas an alco and rhudolfs teetotal
but what if santa was a saint and rhudolf was a sinner.
( Kingtoke was shit at life on, Fri 8 Dec 2006, 23:19, Reply)

Cruisin Time

(bongo123, Fri 8 Dec 2006, 16:03, Reply)

Celebrity Kids
What would happen if The Hoff and Amy Winehouse had a kid, or Les Dennis and David Gest Etc? what would it look like? What would it do?
( Monty Propps, Fri 8 Dec 2006, 13:37, Reply)

The internets is a wonderful thing apparently
but how does it work?
( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 13:16, Reply)

Modern Day Fairy tales
Fairy tales are all starting to sound a bit dated nowadays... The closest we have to the Big Bad Wolf is the mangy fox which robs our bins every week.

We challenge you to give classic Fairy Tales a revamp and bring them in to the 21st century (or just make up new ones)

Go to it one and all... pimp my fairy tale!
( weekendsession, Wed 6 Dec 2006, 19:53, Reply)

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis
Lord Lucan, Osama Bin Laden, Shergar.

They're hiding somewhere. Maybe they walk among us. Show us what has happened top people or things that have just disappeared.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Tue 5 Dec 2006, 23:42, Reply)

No one in the world likes Britain any more
so how could you advertise what a charming bunch of people we really are?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Dec 2006, 13:33, Reply)

T-Shirt printing
A "print your own t-shirt" stall started up at my local market... and set me wondering.

If you could have your own T-shirt printed, what would it look like?
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Mon 4 Dec 2006, 17:42, Reply)

What about
Famous animals: where are they now?
(Dr Wee is rummaging through the spare kidneys on, Mon 4 Dec 2006, 0:46, Reply)

100 ways to kill Tim Westwood
Cos he's a twunt
(CarolinaChiquita, Sat 2 Dec 2006, 23:13, Reply)

Playing cards
As designed by you.

Show us waht your cards woud have, and what the recipient of that particular 'play' has to do.
( Noo_Noo Is now 'BeerElf Jnr', I guess :), Fri 1 Dec 2006, 19:37, Reply)

If everybody was optimistic
What would the world be like if everybody went through life withous a care, and when somthing bad happens, they just smile and take it in their stride.
Horrible i know.
But what if this bizzar scenario were real?
(abignumber, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 18:01, Reply)

Airline Safety Cards
.. cue anti-islamic tirade (tyrade.. taierade..?)
( Carlossus, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 20:00, Reply)

Trying to think of an open-ended but still challenging challenge...
We seem to be getting a lot of rather specific suggestions recently. I'm also fed up of talentless fools (like me) making entries of the GooleImages+TextTool genre. So how about this:

No Words.

Shop a picture that tells a story/makes a joke/has some kind of meaning without using any text. Bonus points for puns that don't need titles/alt text/filenames to get.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 9:31, Reply)

Movie Crossover Challenge
This one is simple. Take two (or more) film titles and mix them up - then concoct a plotline. The resultant fillum is usually better than the original :-)

Examples :-

Zulu Dawn of the Dead
4,000 zulu warriors face off against 200 redcoated British zombies

Gentle Ben Hur
Gentle Ben Hur is taken from his family by Canadian hunters and finally returns now triumphant as the winner of a dramatic chariot race. PG. Includes scenes of bear nudity.

Finders Keepers Losers Weepers Jeepers Creepers
Soft core horror porn. Two huge breasted women find a mysterious stalker (also with huge breasts). Russ Meyer's greatest hour.

You get the picture. (I have about a million of these from a long running thread on another board.)
(Gwawdiwr, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 21:36, Reply)

New Museums
I have a disease that makes me want to run a museum. But so far I've been unable to Curate!

There's museums for everything these days. In Houston, Texas the National Museum of funeral history is the city's 7th most popular tourist attraction. www.nmfh.org/

There must be things for which there are as yet no museums.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 23:14, Reply)

Objects for a Museum of the Web
The National Museum of Photography, Film & Television is becoming the National Media Museum on Friday 1 December - with plans to look after radio and the web. What do b3tans think belongs in a museum of the web? There. I asked. And may God have mercy on my soul.
(dunlintemminck after 40 years it's come to this?, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 19:39, Reply)

'Celebrities' on their day off
What would they get up to?
(Plastic Goldfish, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 13:54, Reply)

Illustrate your dreams!
Judging by the general /board attitude to recent compos, people are seeking a compo with a little more scope for varied entries (not just sign bandwagons or torrents of binduns)

So how about an image compo in which we can DRAW WHAT WE HAVE SEEN IN OUR DREAMS. Things that are funny, confusing, and just plain insane!

And the best way to get hummus for it is simply to take a nap! Fancy that!
( Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 11:27, Reply)

Stealing gameshow rounds
Pick a gameshow, steal one of the rounds and photoshop it - give other b3tans something to think about with your post, a puzzle or challenge.

The missing headlines from Have I Got News For You, the general ignorance round from QI, the identity parade from Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Mornington Crescent from I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the Countdown conundrum etc. etc.
( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 10:49, Reply)

Elvis

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 9:12, Reply)

The Forgotten Inventions Of Salvador Dalí
You discover the secret laboratory of Salvador Dalí. What do you find?
(Plastic Goldfish, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 8:18, Reply)

Challenge
If God was in charger of Christmas - (what people really should get)
( Art101 You all have an unhealthy and morbid fascination, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 2:10, Reply)

Grandma's Christmas Dildo
A bit early but what about...

Inappropriate presents given at Christmas. Mixed up labels often mean the wrong person gets the wrong present.

New pair of gloves for OJ Simpson? A top of the range telescope for David Blunket?

Plus many more.
(parlicoot is warm, cuddly and drinking a nice cup of tea, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 1:50, Reply)