I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN
* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.
Read Latest | Highest Voted
( , Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN
* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.
Read Latest | Highest Voted
( , Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Tell Us Your Story »
I wrote a musical about STDs.
All the songs are really catchy.
( , Wed 9 May 2018, 0:15, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
All the songs are really catchy.
( , Wed 9 May 2018, 0:15, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
Waiter waiter!
I'll have a crocodile sandwich and hurry the fuck up!
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 21:15, Reply)
I'll have a crocodile sandwich and hurry the fuck up!
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 21:15, Reply)
What did Sean Connery call a dangerous Irishman who dislikes Japanese heirarchy?
A Shaun off Shogun
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 20:16, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
A Shaun off Shogun
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 20:16, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
There once was a woman from China
Who had a marble stuck in her 'gina
The doctor said cough
The marble flew off
And gave him huge blooming shiner
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 19:10, 4 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Who had a marble stuck in her 'gina
The doctor said cough
The marble flew off
And gave him huge blooming shiner
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 19:10, 4 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
A giraffe walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Why the long neck?" The giraffe says, "Well, that's not very funny, is it?"
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:58, Reply)
The barman says, "Why the long neck?" The giraffe says, "Well, that's not very funny, is it?"
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:58, Reply)
Do Limericks count?
I don't know
Maybe they do
Maybe they don't
This one doesn't rhyme
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:41, 2 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
I don't know
Maybe they do
Maybe they don't
This one doesn't rhyme
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:41, 2 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
Q. How many members of the NRA does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. More guns!
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:37, 3 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
A. More guns!
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:37, 3 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
Which hit Madonna song details her struggles with early onset dementia?
Vague.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:28, Reply)
Vague.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:28, Reply)
Why is lighting a candle like going abseiling in an oil drum?
They're both incandescent.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:27, Reply)
They're both incandescent.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:27, Reply)
MUSIC NEWS: Sting single-handedly foiled a robbery today
He said he didn't need any Police backup
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:20, Reply)
He said he didn't need any Police backup
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:20, Reply)
I ordered some horse manure over the phone.
The girl taking my order said excitedly that I qualified for free shipping.
I curtly told her that means shit to me.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:00, Reply)
The girl taking my order said excitedly that I qualified for free shipping.
I curtly told her that means shit to me.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 18:00, Reply)
I told my husband I wanted a personal trainer
So he stencilled “Your breath stinks” onto one of my Nikes.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 17:20, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
So he stencilled “Your breath stinks” onto one of my Nikes.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 17:20, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
Hear about the monk who kept going to sleep in his clothes?
He just couldn't get out of the habit.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 17:19, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
He just couldn't get out of the habit.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 17:19, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Lucy
Lucy who?
Loo seat's broken, can I come in and borrow your bog for a shit?
(I wrote this to amuse my kids)
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 17:07, Reply)
Who's there?
Lucy
Lucy who?
Loo seat's broken, can I come in and borrow your bog for a shit?
(I wrote this to amuse my kids)
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 17:07, Reply)
I was going to tell you about my plan to add a third floor to my house
But that's a storey for another time
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 16:59, 3 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
But that's a storey for another time
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 16:59, 3 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
Sean Connery...
...is worried his distinctive voice is stopping him getting decent roles. He asks an Ear Nose and Throat specialist for an opinion. The Doc tells him he thinks the problem is with his sinus
Sean goes nuts...
"Shyness? I haven't got a shy bone in my bloody body!"
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 15:07, Reply)
...is worried his distinctive voice is stopping him getting decent roles. He asks an Ear Nose and Throat specialist for an opinion. The Doc tells him he thinks the problem is with his sinus
Sean goes nuts...
"Shyness? I haven't got a shy bone in my bloody body!"
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 15:07, Reply)
Which Matrix actor is entirely orange?
Baked Beanu Reeves
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 14:32, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
Baked Beanu Reeves
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 14:32, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
My girlfriend complained that my colander was too small.
She might think it's tiny, but I know is ma sieve.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 14:21, Reply)
She might think it's tiny, but I know is ma sieve.
( , Tue 8 May 2018, 14:21, Reply)
Tell Us Your Story »