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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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Length?
I wonder how long this one will get.

EDIT:
Photobucket

This is a continuation of this thread
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:50, 357 replies)
You beat me to it
Just though.

Hows things hlt? Online at home?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:53, closed)
long enough
for me to bother sitting on, i hope

*hic*

edit @ poD - yars!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:54, closed)
woo, new house!
*erects curtains*

*guffaws*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:56, closed)
.
@A: My HTML brain seems to be burried in alcohol (but not my Edit brain)

Evenin HLT. We've only got abck a few minutes gao so you've not missed much. The main point is we're all drunk./
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:56, closed)
@HLT
You trying to compete with me with your curtains?

EDIT: @A: This could just as well be our new home. Must tidy up my post when I'm sober again.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:57, closed)
I'm not drunk
I was out in the car.

I also managed to break yet another bass string.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 0:57, closed)
@ spakka
compete?
or complete?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:00, closed)
All of us but POD are drunk
but he still amaged to break a bass sting.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:00, closed)
Yesss.
Hello!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:01, closed)
@HLT
Your curtains and my erection should not compete, they should make something that's complete.

EDIT: Hello K: Drunk or sober?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:02, closed)
I take it from that
That Kaol is drunk too.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:03, closed)
phwoar!
*does stuff*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:03, closed)
very much so
number 1).
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:03, closed)
Sad post now. Serious. Sssh.
I have to go. I would love to stay and play with you all but I am being chased away from the internet room (which is also a spare bedroom... moop)

*kisses you all goodnight*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:04, closed)
Drunk vs. Sober
So it's 4-1 - Just like the score in the Holland-France match then.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:04, closed)
i got
lost in a pub.

bit rubbish.

I had to drink my way out.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:05, closed)
G'Night HLT
Maybe next time you can keep the Internet room to yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:05, closed)
NOOO!!
They're stealing HLT!!!! GIVE HER BACK!!!

Just because I am in the minority doesn't mean I'll make any sense here though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:05, closed)
yes, but
it's no fun on one's own...

*leaves*
*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:06, closed)
.
@Kaol: Always the best way to leave a pub. Hope you drank a path for others to follow.

@HLT: There's always someone through teh Intertubes.

@POD: Don't worry. None of us makes any sense.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:09, closed)
@ancrenne
In my defense, I watched it in a pub and got pleasantly drunk. Found another place on't way back and got even more drunk.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:10, closed)
I saw some
peopel tonight.
That was rubbish.

I did play a lot of RockBand.
IT's a good game!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:12, closed)
@Kaol
What console did you play it on?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:13, closed)
wait
for the morning.
tHen you'll know.

360.
on a sixtey inch tv.
with me singing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:14, closed)
From my experience
By about mid afternoon tomorrow, the ringing should have stopped.

Mind you, mine are used to pretty constant abuse, so it might vary a bit.

I wanna buy rockband for the Wii, but it seems to cost so many moneys :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:14, closed)
@ancrenne
You pood dear. I've got some cream that will soothe your ears. Hold on, let me apply it...

* Sexes both ancrenne's ears *
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:15, closed)
oi!
that'sll make it worse!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:16, closed)
I wanna buy Rockband for the Wii too.
And I wanna buy a Wii. And I wanna job so I can afford a Wii and Rockband.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:20, closed)
i ruined mtself
singin an "at the gates" song.
Can't speak without croaking now.

rubbish.
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:26, closed)
@A
Welcome to your 30s.

Belgaer has been bludgeoning me with his chair-legs so I'm not my usual self. Have been watching football and sexing ears. Normal nice-chap service will be resumed shortly.

I too have a bit of ringing in my ear. Back at Uni when I went to a nightclub, I found the high-pitched ringing sound helped me shut out any ambient noise once I went to bed.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:28, closed)
@Kaol
Were you playing by yourself or with friends?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:28, closed)
You sensible, sensible bunch of people
Sounds like you've all had such wonderfully exciting nights.

If I had to chose one, then it would be ancrenne's. Football contains all that is wrong in the world. Also cos I want to get told I'm hot.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:29, closed)
haha"
I was playing with myself.
furiously.

Nope, two friends.
I was singing they did drums and guitar.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:30, closed)
Right kids
I'm off to bed. Stupid being up early for work has ruined me.

I want to sleep all weekend, but instead get to go to a fancy dress party tomorrow night.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:36, closed)
.
I think ancrenne may have won the 'best night out' competition. I don't care who knows I'm hot as hell, but I'm not hot enough to not care who doesn't know.

PS. @POD: What are you going to be dressed as?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:38, closed)
@spakka
It's historical figures, so after deciding not to go as Stalin or Mau, I decided on Edmund Hillary. Mostly because I already own a whole load of outdoor stuff, so I'll just wear all that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:40, closed)
'Night POD
.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:42, closed)
historical figues?
Prize if anyone can guess waht I'd go as?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:45, closed)
@Kaol
Jack the Ripper?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:47, closed)
bollocks
you win
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:49, closed)
What's my prize?
.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:50, closed)
i won't
kill you next time you have a shower.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:50, closed)
Yay!
I wondered why I kept having to re-incarnate myself each time I had a shower.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:52, closed)
you should get the
'lectrics checked.
Mite ba a problem with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:53, closed)
'leccy's fine
But at least I now know where the bloodstains came from.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:55, closed)
ther'es a bear in your toilet!
Maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:55, closed)
How do you
manage to keep breaking into my bathroom?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:57, closed)
U-bend.
*slithers*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:57, closed)
Watch out for the bear then.
.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 1:58, closed)
more like a tapeworm
*wiggles scholex*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:01, closed)
i'm hungry
haven't eaten today.
mistake.

think i've got some tomatoes... mmmm
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:04, closed)
Yes please
as long as it contains no tapeworms.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:04, closed)
you bastard
theyneed soemwhere to live!
poor things
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:06, closed)
i failed
no tomatoes.

i found a bag of spaceraiders though.
*smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:13, closed)
I'm trying to lose weight
so no real food for me until breakfast.

I think all this virtual food's doing me good coz I've been losign weithg in the real world.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:16, closed)
I woke up late for work
So missed breakfast.
Then I forgot to get lunch.
Then after work I ended up drinking.
And forgot to have dinner.

*eats Space Raiders*
*smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:27, closed)
Have been there too
It's not that I didn't want to eat - it's just that I forgot.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:31, closed)
I ended up wandering about in a daze.
Then went back to work with nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:32, closed)
@Kaol
Was the daze from not eating or insomnia?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:41, closed)
Just from being Kaol
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:42, closed)
@ancrenne
I once somehow managed to set fire to a pizza while it's base still remained frozen afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:42, closed)
I had
"A friend" who cooked a pizza with the round polystyrene base on it still...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:43, closed)
.
As long as "he" took it off before he ate the pizza it shoudl have been OK.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:47, closed)
"He" did.
After wondering what it was he was chewing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:49, closed)
This reminds me
Someone I knew from an old job once asked over the company e-mail system if it was OK to eat the plastic wrapper of a Peperami sausage. Someone else replied that once it came out, they could wash it and repeat the process.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 2:52, closed)
You should know by now
Eating and b3ta don't mix.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 3:04, closed)
.
So what's the other rule of b3ta?
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 3:10, closed)
The rule of tiredness
means I must go to bed.

G'night.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 3:15, closed)
Anyone else awake yet
or is it just me?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 10:59, closed)
Morning Becky
I've been up since half 9. Someone phoned the house.

*annoyed*

So much for my big lie in.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:07, closed)
Ugh that's gotta suck
I almost always manage to roll over and go back to sleep. Postman came at 6am today as his package was too big to fit through my box. I was most displeased.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:17, closed)
You mean he didn't just ram it in there?
I woke up earlier too, as a pin had fallen off my pin board and was right under my spine.

That one was a bit sore.

It's sunny today, woo!!

Shame I'm going to this party dressed as an explorer in full walking gear.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:21, closed)
I think you should go as a bond girl instead then
all you need is a bikini and some bling.

Or go as indiana jones. That'd rule :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:26, closed)
I don't think I would look good in a bikini
There would be a bit of a bulge.

Also, I have to go as a historical figure unfortunately.

There really aren't any good historical figures.

You get your stencil done yet? Kill your flatmate yet?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:30, closed)
Morning Ancrenne
No thanks, don't do coffee.

Indiana Jones is a historical figure. Go as him. Kaol was too drunk to do the stencil last night, so he's going to do it today instead. Luckily flatmate isn't here that often, so she was out last night and haven't heard from her this morning.

Thankfully flies are all now gone too :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:36, closed)
Excellent
congratulations :) I've still got some left, but when they're gone I'm done with smoking. Are you using patches or just willpower?

Ooh, just found this :)
www.firebox.com/index.html?dir=partners&action=gadgetshow1
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:44, closed)
I'm scummy
so within a few days I'd be searching the bin. Hence my ashtray is a glass bottle with some drink still in it to make sure I cant go rooting for the good stuff as it smells so vile once the lid is opened.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:55, closed)
You did all seem
To be completely hammered last night when I left.

i was actually just on firebox looking for a present for my brother, so that is awesome.

Was also thinking of buying myself an action cam for doing stupid stuff with.

Congratulations on stopping smoking. Block out the taste with Irn Bru?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 11:56, closed)
Why is there a * instead of a g?
I was planning to stay in bed a lot, but alas, now I am up.

Might go and try and find some Bru, not had any since yesterday evening.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:02, closed)
Ahh, I was strictly a marlboro girl
which made it easier to scoop stuff out of ashtrays and reuse.

No fair, Irn bru isn't available down here. I remember drinking it once and looking for the girder when I finished it. *horrible older brothers decided I must have swallowed it*

Edit: I might get one of these...
www.firebox.com/product/1323/Mood-Beams

lol, we should club together and give him one for his birthday :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:02, closed)
Haven't seen any
Whenever I try to quit I always dream that I'm smoking and wake up with a pen in my hand that i've been trying to smoke whilst asleep. Luckily I always throw out my lighters so cant do too much damage

This might be the best gadget I've ever seen
www.firebox.com/product/2061/The-WineRack
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:10, closed)
That was a strange dream
I had a dream the other night that I was in WW2. I had a rifle and everything, and Germans shooting at me. Shooting lots.

It can be hard to get hold of the Bru in some places. I never want to live in one of these places.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:14, closed)
Don't be coming
to London then POD.

Ancrenne, it could have referred to hookers too, but I've changed it now :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:14, closed)
I've been to London before
I didn't like it much. Got reasonably lost too, if I remember correctly.

If I do have to move somewhere I can't get it, I'll have to get care packages sent to me.

That is a brilliant thing Becky. Get Kaol one of those?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:16, closed)
I get care packages of ruffles crisps
sent to me from the States every few months as I get grumpy otherwise.

www.firebox.com/product/2058/Wi-Fi-Detecting-T-Shirt

Ok, it's geeky, but cool. I wants one
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:22, closed)
I think everyone should have to try it
It is sometimes the only liquid I consume for an entire day. Unhealthy, sure, but still awesome.

Bastion is a great word.

edit: Lunchtime, back soon ladeees.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:22, closed)
I haven't considered breakfast yet either
pondering getting showered and dressed now though.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:30, closed)
Problem with that is
I've put on at least 3 or 4kg this summer so far because of that reason as I've had 2 1/2 months to do fuck all. And do fuck all I have aside from a week of construction work for my brother.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:40, closed)
Yup
I gained weight through doing bugger all all day and playing on the net. I'll shift it in a couple of weeks though I'm sure as when I'm working I barely get a chance to sit down.

I was helping him shift everything from one container into another container. Both containers are about the size of a large caravan, so it took a few days. I got to drive a forklift and smash things with a sledgehammer and got paid £500 for the privilege, so I found it quite fun really
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 12:51, closed)
I wanna construct stuff :(
Lunch was awesome. Toasties.

I have also gained weight somehow, despite walking to uni and back every day, and being on my feet all day at work now.

I have a t-qualiser. It's awesome.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:01, closed)
Mmm...toasties good
wants a cheese and ham one, but can't be arsed to go to the shop.

What's a t-qualiser?

For me, it's not so noticeable, people are saying how healthy I look. I feel sludgy and crap, don't want to look healthy if it means I feel like this.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:02, closed)
T-qualiser = t-equaliser ancrenne linked to
I just had two ham and cheese toasties, which were relatively successful. Better than the last attempt that resulted in ruined bread covered in hot cheese.

You mean you aren't going to be on here as much? What? I choose to not accept this...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:05, closed)
Bugger I need toasties now
I choose not to accept your resignation from b3ta time either. Although I doubt I'll be on here much during the day soon either. I can't see me nipping out during ops to chat shit with people on the net being a viable excuse really.

I'm going to go shower and get foodstuffs
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:10, closed)
True, they don't start themselves
I'm not on here much during the day either these days, what with working away from a computer. Evenings thought, that's the future.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:10, closed)
It's kind of a shame there is only /chat here
and not a forum for everyone to chat on. Then again we'd probably all huddle together on one topic anyway.

I is back and have potatoes in the oven as the cheese toasties round here are fucking expensive £3.20 for one FFS. I don't eat enough bread to justify buying a loaf and some ham to make my own as I'll have to chuck it minus 4 slices in 2 days time. Oh well.

I'm very much looking forward to the launch of your new business Ancrenne and now that I'm gainfully employed I'll be able to afford to buy pretties from you :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:46, closed)
*pops head round door*
Hello!

Helpful bread tip - buy a loaf, keep a few slices out and freeze the rest. Then take out a slice or four each night to thaw, and voila - a loaf lasts nearly a week and stays fresh.

You're knackered without a freezer though.

Hmm, I wonder if we could have a b3ta fashion show with models wearing ancrenne's pants...

*ponders*

*smiles at thought*

I'll be on and off this afternoon. Got lots of stuff to do.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:50, closed)
I'd be happy to be a pants model for ancrenne
only on her site though. And in exchange for free pants and cake *grins*

Afternoon K2k6, how you doing today?

Edit: If my flatmate wasn't a cunt and didn't fill the freezer with crap then I could do that. So in exchange the fridge is mine. God help the new flatmate whenever they move in.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 13:56, closed)
Not bad thanks, Becky
Currently sitting at the computer arranging music. Tedious fun, (he said, oxymoronically).

Pants modelling on ancrenne's site would be fine. So long as you provide a link for us!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 14:02, closed)
Not my place to do so
but it depends on how much she'd want to pimp the site too.

I'm playing on some forums I go on and sniffing my arm occasionally as I used gorgeous showergel a while ago
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 14:04, closed)
*sniffs Becky*
Oh, yes, very nice.

Smells just like cake!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 14:18, closed)
No it's marzipan
silly
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 14:33, closed)
Marzipan
is used to cover cakes prior to the deposition of royal icing. Therefore I associated it with my auntie's Christmas cake.

It also contains almonds, which worries me slightly, because almonds smell of cyanide. So if I smell almonds at work, I get out of the lab quickly!

Even on Saturdays, when I'm not working, I still think of this rubbish.

*makes notes about getting out more*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 14:38, closed)
But this is nice marzipan
not laced with cyanide. To be fair, it's a christmas limited edition shower gel that I treasure as it's running out and I won't be able to get any more.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 14:47, closed)
Actually
the reason almonds smell almondy is because of the small amounts of cyanide in them.

Not that I want to put you off your nice shower gel or anything. I suspect it will have synthetic almondness rather than cyanide in it.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:10, closed)
it's from lush
and they only use natural ingredients (where they can) so it probably is laced with cyanide actually.

Mmm...potatoes are almost done and I'm starving now
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:19, closed)
Is this where you're
All hiding?

G'aft'noon t'you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:34, closed)
Afternoon Kaol
How's your hangover?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:35, closed)
Ah well
a little bit of cyanide never harmed anyone.

A larger amount, however...

I've just remembered to set Dr Who to record tonight because I'll be going out. That's a most important part of Saturday. I can even tolerate Catherine Tate as his companion, because the programme's so well done. Although I did much prefer the previous two ladies!

Edit - hello Kaol!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:36, closed)
Hard, angry and pulsating.
Actually, it's gone now, I've been up since around lunchtime.

Went to help a friend buy chickens today.

I'm only about for a little while now, but I'll be on full-time this evening, after I've sorted some stuff.

I haven't forgotten about your picture *grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:37, closed)
I cant stand dr who
never could. Sadly I have 3 older brothers, so was forced to watch it.

What kinda chickens Kaol? Fluffy pecking kind or roasting kind?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:41, closed)
Kinda both
My friend is setting up an organic small-holding.
So she asked me to help her go and pick out 100 chickens for that.
So they'll be eaten, but not for a while.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:43, closed)
Dr Who
is one of my favourite programmes. In fact it's one of only three or so that I bother to watch regularly.

And surely the chickens are both types. It just depends on their stage of life. Or death!

Edit - cross posted with Cap'n K.

PS Small holding! Pfft.

*sniggers*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:44, closed)
K2k6
How is your small holding by the way?

Did the vacuum pump work?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:46, closed)
Also giggles at small holding
I did like the dr who film though with Paul Mcgann. Then again that came out just after I watched Withnail and I for the first time and I had a girly crush on him lol
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:54, closed)
Yes, actually
It's quite a sizeable expanse now.

Don't know how many chickens it would support though.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 15:55, closed)
Eww
horrible boys.

I've not yet received my contract yet, but been looking more at their website and just noticed I get private healthcare after a year of service. Ooh, I could get pretty teeth and stuff
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 16:56, closed)
Hey ancrenne
I be about. Shopping did not go well. I bought a card, and that's it.

What exactly is your new company? I seem to remember reading something about it in the past. Now I forget though.

I shall not be about tonight, not until late anyway. Got that party to go to. Really regretting choice is person to dress up as. Going to try and substitute walking trousers with much thinner trousers that should still look ok in an attempt to not slowly roast myself.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:18, closed)
Why do you think
it'll be over before it's begun Ancrenne?

Hi POD. Can you really not go as anyone else? Long black swishy coat and a knife...go as Kaol Jack the ripper?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:23, closed)
It starts in an hour and a half
And I don't have anything in my house that would allow me to go as anyone else unfortunately.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:24, closed)
I got crapped on by a tortoise.
*frowns*

I'll be here.
I've got a bag of cherries, a bottle of vodka, and zero social-life tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:25, closed)
Ooh I like tortoises
but they like biting me for some reason. Never been crapped on one though.

Sorry POD. If you're going as an adventurer/explorer, could you get away with just wearing a wifebeater on top with the excuse that they would have gotten hot in the jungle/up a mountain/caves whatever?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:31, closed)
Fucking hell woman
You're Welsh? *back away slowly* I thought you were in Kent or something. How are you getting here for the bash then? I honestly don't think anyone would think you were asking for money from B3ta types. On other forums I go on we regularly have eBay pimping threads, limit one per day though where we put in a link to our eBay stuff or personal businesses. It works well as a lot of people are more willing to buy from someone they know and trust and know they're supporting someone/something they believe in. But I totally understand if you want it to be removed from your b3ta persona. When's your site going to be up and running properly?

LOL a wifebeater is a white vest worn by blokes who drink stella. But can look very sexy on guys too...probably hence why the wife stays for another beating in some cases
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:35, closed)
Wifebeater?
Sleveless t shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:35, closed)
Er...
Your "drunken ant"?
I wanna read about that!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:40, closed)
Ahhh,,,
that's ok then :) But you're still going to trek it down here to meet us lot? Dedication!

Edit: Yay, looking forward to perusing your knickers soon then ,)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:40, closed)
Pfft. whatever.
You'd come from Land's End if you knew you'd have a chance of meeting me.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:43, closed)
Aww
I was imagining you laptopping from your bed surrounded by piles and piles of pants. Maybe piles is the wrong word to use, but you know what I mean. Roll on far away then :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:46, closed)
There *was*
*flicks charred-looking Zippo*
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:46, closed)
Just once.
Recently.
On an IT business trip.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:48, closed)
Still?
Dude, it's like almost 6 o'clock now. Shameful :)

I've been to get cards as it's my brother's 40th birthday today and fathers day tomorrow so we're having a family shindig tomorrow. You can only use your card if you are paying more than a fiver though, so I got an 'I am Spartacus' badge for myself :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:52, closed)
Father's Day tomorrow?
*laughs*

A friend of a friend once got a card from a son he didn't know about on Father's Day.
Must've been a shock.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 17:54, closed)
Hmm...
Far too many comments to make on your post...
You've been in bed all day, and you've "just got to finish something off"?

*ahem*

"I will assume the evening position on the sofa instead"

*coughs louder*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:01, closed)
hello?
Is anyone there?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:06, closed)
Spartacus!
One of the other guys going tonight is going as Spartacus. Strange.

I'm well impressed you've managed to stay in bed this long. I would have gone for food a long, long time ago.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:06, closed)
Filthy minds think alike
Kaol ,)

Hey, I have no beef with sitting in my pants all day, just lack of food tends to get to me after a while.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:07, closed)
Becky...
I'm afraid that "Beef" and "pants" should never again be mentioned in the same sentence...

She's gone quiet now, wonder if she "finished it off" ok...

*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:09, closed)
Oh God...
*innuendo gland ruptures*

*twitches on floor*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:12, closed)
oh - bye ancrenne!
enjoy your shower. although I am intrigued as to all the things you would need to reach in the evening position.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:12, closed)
Disgraceful behaviour
oops, sorry Kaol ;)

Hi HLT
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:17, closed)
'lo becky!
*waves*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:21, closed)
You at work HLT?
Or stealsing the presssious internetssss again?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:24, closed)
hey kaol
no, no work for me today, stealing the precioussss interwebses, preciousss!

*gollums*

is y'all having a tippytop weekend?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:28, closed)
Hi HLT
*waveses*

I've had a so-so day, apart from being woken up quite early by someone phoning my parents.

Started to get ready for this thing, and getting warm already. I think I'll have lost any excess weight by the end of the night.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:30, closed)
hi PoD!
*waves*

mind you don't get all hot and sticky then
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:32, closed)
Yay for losing excess weight
boo for being ridiculously hot in order to do so.

Where are you internetting from HLT?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:34, closed)
could be the new 'sleb diet thing
Spotted! charlotte church going to the shops dressed as a pantomime horse!

no change there then though...

I'm visiting the parental lair for the weekend and have stolen their interwebs! moo hahahah!

what yous up to becky?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:37, closed)
Yep, having a good weekend so far!
Getting excited for Thursday!

I need to go sort out some bits now, I'll be back later!
Bye!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:41, closed)
I'm away to melt
Might pop back on later when I get home, who knows.

Wish me luck!!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:42, closed)
Pah
you're lucky your parentals have the interwebs. I have to take my crappy bt mobile thingy back with me to steal their neighbours intermittent wireless. Y'know the one they advertise on the tv? Yeah it's shit.

Today I've mostly been faffing on here, but I'm learning stuff as well as I'm using the vet nurse forum to edumacate myself after months of not working.

Edit: Bye Kaol
Good luck POD, make friends with the fridge :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:45, closed)
Guten Lucken
Woo, German!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:45, closed)
bye!
Bye penguin, have fun!

you too kaol

I'm quite sad about thursday :(
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:45, closed)
Aww
are you coming to the July bash instead though?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:47, closed)
ah, edumacashun
Very worthy, especially on saturdays.
Speaking of educashun, I has been to a graduating thingy today. Full of clever people (not me). Quite dull too. Was proud of the mother parent when she got her degree though. And there were free danish pastries. Result.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:48, closed)
is it in Lundun?
I'd like to meet y'all face-to-cake at some point. Just so I know you're all real and that...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:50, closed)
but i iz a spambot in ur internetz
Yeah, it's in london village somewhere. This week it's in covent garden, so I dont have far to go.

Congrats to mothertulip. Free food is always a good thing :)

It's interesting to learn, which is why I'm pursuing it. I'm the kind of person where if I'm not intellectually stimulated at work then I zone out and do fuck all, so I need to be doing interesting stuff. Needless to say retail wasn't for me and I'd rather be a rubbish collector than go back to it.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:57, closed)
lucky becky
lives in the london-ness

mother tulip has made tea!

bye!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 18:59, closed)
200
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 19:02, closed)
Enjoy HLT
Kaol are you back or still in the process of leaving?

Ie am I just talking to myself now?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 19:18, closed)
I'm just leaving
Also, stop talking to yourself, people will worry...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:22, closed)
Yeah.
I agree.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:26, closed)
'lo again
Talking to yourself is the first sign of common sense.

anyone for wine?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:31, closed)
I don't generally drink
But if it's free wine, I'll make this a one-off.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:34, closed)
Or
Vodka?

*clinks glass*

I must be a bit drowsy, I thought you were being serious about the "I don't drink" comment
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:35, closed)
Haha!
Vodka please!
Er... You know the rule about glass clinking, don't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:38, closed)
nope
please enlighten me

(not literally!)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:40, closed)
Er...
In several cultures it means that you're going to have sex with the person you're drinking with.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:40, closed)
Back in a few, just going to eat dinner
*waves*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:47, closed)
@ Kaol
Bloody hell. No wonder I'm so popular at Christmas parties...
Enjoy your dinner. what are you having?

EXETER?! Nooooo! It's like, millions of far away!

edit@ancrenne - a large one, fnur!!!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:49, closed)
woop, scottishland!
alert the haggis!
batten down the bagpipes!

and all that jazz.

are you the only welsh b3tan my dear? I don't seem to be aware of any others.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 20:57, closed)
Ah!
I know what that is!

Yay!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:27, closed)
I had sausages.
Which tasted of burnt-ness.
Woo, go me!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:38, closed)
I think so...
I know that w = u, y also = u and u = y, f = v and ff = f, l = l and ll = that funny noise you have to make in the back of your mouth.

I like driving through Coedpoeth because I know it means Hot Trees, and I like being able to say Rhosllanergrugog too.

Yay Wales! - sorry - I mean, Cymru, of course.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:38, closed)
d'you know
I'm rather partial to a bit of hot sausage.

how's things with you mr k?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:39, closed)
My sausage
Got too hot.
So it tasted like charcoal.

I'm fine thanks!
Just going to fire up photoshop to sort a couple of bits and pieces for people.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:42, closed)
yum, burnt sausage
Mmmm, carbon.

I haven't burnt anything today.

Wonder how much fun PoD is having in his hot costume. Bet he wishes he was here.

ancrenne - I haven't lived in wales for 8 years now, I miss all its little quirks.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:47, closed)
Haha!
Wonder if the costume will give him a burn sausage?

*actually laughed out loud at his own joke*
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:49, closed)
hahaha!
I just read that as "a bum sausage"

have you given up smoking yet ancrenne?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 21:52, closed)
You should be happy
You're meeting me!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:04, closed)
ooh, a plan!
I like plans!

my eyes are all dry and sticky from being at the screen too long. like two boiled sweets in an old man's raincoat. so I'm going to go now, but I'll be back at 10am on Monday provided the theatre hasn't burnt down in the meantime.

night!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:14, closed)
Just me and you then Ms A?
*considers flirting*

So... Do you like knives?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:24, closed)
Ning
how are we?

Edit: I'll leave if I'm encroaching on your flirting space Kaol ,)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:34, closed)
Well I've removed most of the paint
from me by showering and there's only three noticable blobs on the carpet, so in all a successful evening I'd say
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:39, closed)
Er...
*panics*
*puts shirt back on*

You saw nothing, ok?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:41, closed)
I'm making a stencil
but couldn't find a colour I liked so I'm mixing grey, magenta and fuck off bright orange for part of it and green for the other bits.

Edit: This...sorry if it's huge
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:43, closed)
You still want me to do the stencil?
Or am I taking too long?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:48, closed)
I'm not sure
I could live in an orange room. Just seems a bit wrong.

Purple and black sounds rather sexeh for a bathroom. Mine is crap tiles that someone painted over random ones to get rid of the ugly flowers underneath, peeling ceiling over the shower itself and a disgusting bog brush

Edit; Nah, I gave up and decided to do it free hand with masking tape. Cheers anyway Kaol
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:49, closed)
*embarrassed*
Sorry...

Hope it goes well though!

I can't wait to get my own place, so I can decorate it. Sounds like fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:53, closed)
Meh
Don't worry about it. I get agitated when I plan a project and can't get started on it right away, so not your fault :)

It's not my place, I just have an understanding landlord.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 22:56, closed)
Ah!
My landlord is a bit dull.
I say landlord, I live in their house, as a lodger.

Poor people.
To expensive around here to do much else than lodge.

Be nice to move somewhere that I can unpack the boxes of my stuff, haha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:00, closed)
It will be once it's finished
but until then it looks like a big brown blob as I've painted over the masking tape lol.

Ooh, hope she's a damn sight better to live with than my flatmate. Tonight she obviously decided to exfoliate...how do I know this...fucker didn't rinse the shower out after she was done. Cunt.

I'm one of the few who enjoys decorating. I can't draw for shit, but I can hang wallpaper, sand floors, do tiling etc...
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:02, closed)
The place I rented at uni was terrible
When it rained, water came in through the floor. UP THROUGH the floor. In the kitchen.
I have no idea how that even works.

Also, for the first six months, if you had a shower, water ran down through the ceiling light in the downstairs hall.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:11, closed)
Cat fur's not so bad
with wooden floors as all the fur just collects along the skirting boards, so you just need to hoover the edges instead.

When I lived in Bucks the roof leaked to the point where we had to install a tarp upstairs to collect the rain in a bin which we could then take outside to empty. If it was raining a lot we'd be forever emptying it as it was a large hole. The owners didn't give a shit, as we found when we stopped paying rent for 8 months and they didn't notice.

Edit: 250

OMG Mystic Pizza's on tonight. I haven't seen that in yeeeeears. Yes I know, I have a degree in film, so should be above such things, but I love that cheesy shit.

I forsee the arrival of a Mr Belgaer soon...
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:14, closed)
Haha!
We had a gigantic ant problem, but I think that was down to my dirty, dirty housemate.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:18, closed)
Evenin' all
How goes it? Anyone wanna help me catch up on what's been happening?
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:19, closed)
Evening Mr B!
How's it going with the job?

You've not heard the news then?
I'm getting married!
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:20, closed)
New job requires me to sit infront of a database in an office with lots of people around me all day.
Nice young pretty (and unfortunately taken) people though. Doesn't mean I can't look, mind.

Oh, and I might have bought a car today.

*refuses to believe that you're getting married*
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:21, closed)
Little? If it's in Becky's ear it's gonna be very big and throbbing.
It'll be far from a tickle and far from little.
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:22, closed)
I am!
(not)

Nope...

Sounds ok about work! I was expecting a horror story of some kind.
What kinda car?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:23, closed)
What way did the last one go and why did you have to leave it?
Tell me all, I've missed so much... Including you friendly souls! :(
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:23, closed)
N reg Vauxhall 1.4 lit Astra estate. :D Waiting to see if it passes it's MoT on Monday.
The jobs not terrible, it's very boring but there's alot of work to do and I'm not working with a bunch of bigotted cunts like last time so... Yeah, all in all it's okay. Oh, and it's double the pay. ;)
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:24, closed)
515? Damn... I've missed so much. Damn being busy. :(
Yeah, went for drinks on Friday night and then I got bundled into the back of a pitch black van and got driven to the local town centre, as they refused to let me sit on an "uncomfortable" bus. Hah!

Still, got to walk back with a lass from work (she got the front seat :( ) who's nice and pleasant and lives a few seconds walk away. *considers hiring Kaol to do some stalking*

Oh, that reminds me, they find me bizarre. Mhmm *nods*. It seems that they don't appreciate jokes about stalking as you lot. Or various other things. I've had to stop myself giggling all day Friday at the dipsy blonde who doesn't think about what she's saying. I felt guilty explaining to her what I was laughing at, as though I was corrupting her, even though she is 24 and engaged. :P
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:29, closed)
I'm gonna buy a car.
An when I do, I'm going on a b3ta-tour.
Has to be done.

Anyone know of a Capri being sold for around a grand?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:32, closed)
Why a Capri?
Mine will only cost £795. Booyah! Insurance is gonna cost £1,365 :P
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:33, closed)
Are you joking?
Capris are the coolest cars ever (within my budget).
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:35, closed)
Haha, you have young persons insurance
Last time I checked on insurance for myself it was £350 fully comp and that was two years ago :p

Oi, no ear sexing please, I'm eating at present

Fuck off capris...get an MG
shop.ebay.co.uk/items/Cars-Parts-Vehicles_Cars__mg-midget_W0QQ_nkwZmgQ20midgetQQQ5ftrksidZp3913Q2ec0Q2em24QQQ5fcatrefZ1QQQ5fcatrefZ1QQ_frdlpwlZ1QQ_fxdZ1
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:35, closed)
I'm restricted to what I can drive.
Because I'm so tall. That's why I bought an estate for £300 more on insurance than a clio or peugeot 206 or somet'. Still, it's a comfy car and shit... Want to go for a drive when I have a free weekend and hoover up all the dog hairs? :P
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:36, closed)
It's cool, I don't earsex you, that's reserved for Ancrenne, as she loves it so much.
It's just plain old bog standard leg loving for you I'm afraid.
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:37, closed)
Nooo!
MG's can fuck off! I'm 6'2.

Plus if I had a black capri, I'd pretty much reach a state of arousal every time I looked at it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:39, closed)
Don't you reach a state of arousal looking at pretty much anything?
I'm gonna have to go soon, I have to go to Oxford Street tomorrow *dreads*
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:40, closed)
Nah, it takes a lot
To get my attention.

Oxford Street?
On a Sunday?
Are you retarded?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:42, closed)
No, I'm desperate. I have to do it. :(
Grr, I should lose weight then I can go to normal shops.
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:43, closed)
I need a pair of trousers, that fit me comfortably,
for Monday. :( *sigh* Can't get mail order.

Edit: It doesn't scare me or anything, I just hate it. I have a very effective and successful way of shopping. I know where I want to go, what I want to get and how long I'm not going to be. I walk very fast, go in, grab it, get out. But other people always walk so fucking slow! The fucking cuntmongering wank stains.
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:44, closed)
Meh
Oxford street is nothing. I used to work on Regent St - parallel to Oxford st and it's a piece of piss. Extend elbows and forwards...FTW
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:47, closed)
Want to come and be my cow plow then, Becky?
You can also be the woman that tells me what's fashionable and shit. :D
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:48, closed)
I have no idea
of what's fashionable, so no. Besides, it's fathers day
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:50, closed)
Yeah, I've got to get up very early tomorrow, go into town,
get a card, write it out, sign it, say morning to my dad, then go to Oxford street.

It's either that or hope that the botch job on my only spare pair of trousers holds out 'till wednessday and get some mail order ones... It's ever so tempting but I'm not sure how quick they can get them to me and even then, whether they'll fit. I'll just end up fretting. :(
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:52, closed)
Yeah, My only problem is the tear is near the crotch...
Some kid was on the bus and wasn't being controlled (of which my preferred method is nailing to the floor), almost fell over and grabbed my trousers to stay up. If it re-tears then my tackle'll be on show to everyone. :(

Edit: What does "KS" mean in leg lengths?
(Belgaer is, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 23:57, closed)
Hee hee, I shouldn't laugh
but I'm just picturing your trousers splitting again...sorry.

No idea of what KS means, wimmins stuff comes in inches for leg length. Maybe King size?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:00, closed)
I hate shopping
When I find something I like (jeans, a shirt, whatever) I normally get two of them, just in case.

I need to get shoes though. I hate getting shoes, all shops stop doing stuff at size 12. I'm size 13.

And the internet shoes are all about £70.
I could buy two pairs of military boots for that.

EDIT: I have no idea what KS means either.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:02, closed)
There's a place near me called direct boot,
they do industrial stuff mostly, I get all my boots there as they're always good quality and they have proper sizes, some up to size 14 I think.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:03, closed)
Cool!
I know the amazingly cool, creepy, skinny guy with dreads who works in the local military surplus.
He gets me stuff in when I ask.
*grins*

That reminds me, I need to pick up those iodine tablets that I ordered.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:06, closed)
I do the same with jeans at Uniqlo
as they're always the perfect fit and only £20 each. It's impossible to find decent jeans anywhere else that fit on my waist and leg length anywhere else unless you spend around £90
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:09, closed)
Woo to common sense!
The only things I'd pay over £50 for is a suit, or a leather jacket.
But... *shrugs*
Looks like I'm gonna have to break that rule with shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:11, closed)
Yay!
I don't have to go to oxford street tomorrow. Just ordered some trousers on 48hr, so they should be here Tuesday/Wednesday, I'll just have to speak to my agency if my current pair go bust again and tell 'em I have some on order.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:14, closed)
Evening babes
How are we all?

Exciting nights?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:15, closed)
Evenin' PoD. How goes?
@ Ancrenne:
It's sometimes hard to get everything from a charity shop, I pretty much have a uniform for work and I'm not an easy fit on clothes, so I can't always get stuff that's friendly and fits and works and stuff.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:19, closed)
'Ello PoD!
Did you get a burnt sausage?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:20, closed)
Wasn't the most exciting
So I tried to make people laugh. Then people laughed, which was good.

Think I certainly lost some weight. I also carved two chickens. And ate cake far too late at night for my stomach to be happy. And now I'm back here, catching up with what's been going on.

I noticed HLT pondered earlier if I would be losing weight and that I would prefer to be on here.

Not entirely wrong she was.

edit: And no, my sausage is not burnt.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:20, closed)
But chain gang children make the best workers
Evenin POD
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:24, closed)
@ Ancrenne
Some people like bushiness...

Edit: Anyway, I thought you were single?
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:26, closed)
300

(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:29, closed)
I did have cake
Triple layered chocolate cake. Was already quite full though, so could have been more enjoyable.

Much prefer my now lying in bed with laptop thing. So much better than actual socialising. Is it bad that I think that?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:29, closed)
Bad, no...
Lazy, yes.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:30, closed)
Hell yes
we're party animals here ya know.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:32, closed)
No, I was busy finding a car
and entertaining guests.

Did owt interesting happen? Other than you being all slutty/sultry in bed?
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:34, closed)
I'm glad there are like minded people
I've gone and become all introverted over the last year, what with not wanting to go out and spend money and all that.

It's a bit sad really.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:35, closed)
I'm not really introverted
in real life, but am too skint to go out much and usually working too many hours to be arsed to
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:37, closed)
No reason for you to shave your front bush,
if you're single...
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:37, closed)
A possible Scots bash?
How did I not see the bit about that?

Details please...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:39, closed)
Ooo, sounds grand
*remembers has become all introverted*

Crap.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:44, closed)
Scotland?
I'm there!
*grins*

I mean, I'd be rather up for going to a bash in Edinburgh, love that city.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:46, closed)
I think I need to go to bed,
I'm having trouble concentrating and I still need to get up and get my dad a father's day card even if I don't have to go to Oxford Street.

What fucks me off is that I don't celebrate Christmas because I think it's stupid for me to, when I don't celebrate Rammadam or any other religious event, and he supports that, but he still expects me to buy him a father's day card. A celebration created to support card companies, he said he doesn't want a present just a card... And I can't exactly say "No, I don't agree with it" 'cause he'd get all upset.

Edit: youtube.com/watch?v=7uSlqI1AVUk :D
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:46, closed)
Sorry...
I've been looking at cars.
Furiously.

B-Man, just make him a card!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:49, closed)
Now there's a good plan
Sit at the table right behind everyone, with some Irn Bru, posting on here.

edit - Kaol, you've been getting yourself off over cars?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:49, closed)
@PoD
cgi.ebay.co.uk/Cars-Parts-Vehicles_Cars__1987-FORD-CAPRI-LASER-BLACK_W0QQitemZ320260164976QQddnZCarsQ2cQ20PartsQ20Q26Q20VehiclesQQadnZCarsQQddiZ3783QQadiZ3368QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item320260164976&_trkparms=39%3A1%7C65%3A7&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

Sorry, fixed it!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:52, closed)
I don't have card making skills or owt.
Btw, dodgy link buddy.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:53, closed)
Quite cool
But it has a cassette player. And it looks like it has quite small wheels.

Not bad though.

Yeah, I think many people have left ancrenne.

The link's fine.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:54, closed)
Kaol,
you any good with cars mate? If I buy mine I have some bits and bobs that need doing that I may not be able to do myself... There'd be alcohol on offer...
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:56, closed)
Nah, I was watching the
youtube video *sporfle*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:56, closed)
I'm really, really good at taking things apart.
But... Not so great at putting them back together.
Er...
What's the opposite of a scalpel?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:59, closed)
'nother youtube vid, very good one, too :D
youtube.com/watch?v=kIMnXyr1kf8
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:59, closed)
Sellotape?
Glue?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 0:59, closed)
A needle?
That reminds me of them guys in foreign places that use soldier ants for stitches, they make them bite the wound and then break the bodies off. It's cool, having 10 ant heads latched onto your arm.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:01, closed)
*packs duct tape and scalpel for Thursday*
I've decided the opposite of a scalpel is a soldering iron.
That'd seal a cut up pretty quick...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:02, closed)
Got a joke I can put on the front?
Only one I can think of is
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"

I may do it with my left hand for that 6 year old touch.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:03, closed)
What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?
An erection.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:04, closed)
I've heard all your jokes before Kaol
And I think they're innapropiate to be put ontop of the TV when we have old people visiting.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:05, closed)
Fine...
Old people?

What's the difference between old people and firewood?

Firewood doesn't scream when you burn it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:07, closed)
Nooo, the jokes go on the front,
silly.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:07, closed)
Horrid boys
I have one cigarette left...not ready to smoke it yet
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:07, closed)
What's the difference between a cigarette and a cock?
Nothing, they both smell and make you gag.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:09, closed)
*Casually sets light to a £5er and watches it burn*
I'm with you on that one, me bruvette.
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:12, closed)
I'd rather buy fireworks.
They're so much fun...
*smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:12, closed)
The aroma of your cock
is doing nothing for me Belgaer. No one I've been with has a smelly cock.

I'd go for the buy more and chuck it option. Nothing worse than getting to about 3 in the afternoon and thinking I can't give up now.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:13, closed)
I'm off to get my ugly sleep
night all.

Edit:
@ Becky
They do, they just wash it more frequently when they intend for it to be in use. :P
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:13, closed)
Night me laddo
*elaborate hand gesture*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:14, closed)
P.S
THE best music video, ever !

youtube.com/watch?v=Uvd814WG2t4&feature=related
(Belgaer is, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:15, closed)
No they don't.
don't spoil the dream. Night B
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:16, closed)
So, does that make it two fine ladies
And my wonderful self?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:18, closed)
Wrong as always Kaol
Although I am planning to head off to sleep pretty soon.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:19, closed)
Well... Two of us
Of them...

*picks ancrenne*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:19, closed)
You picked the one
Without the swords?

*confused*

I appear to have broken my stomach.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:21, closed)
.
Flounces
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:21, closed)
I'll go with the one
Who couldn't beat the crap out of me, thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:21, closed)
Ancrenne I've made a new thread Pg 23
as this one's slowing down for me. You're welcome to join me
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 1:24, closed)
The page 23 thread
.
Is here.
.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 15 Jun 2008, 10:30, closed)

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