It was a beautiful beautiful moment
Some years ago I was out of work for a while. Most of the people at the DSS were OK, punctuated by the odd cunt.

On one occasion and only one occasion I missed my signing on time, and popped in the net day, apologising for not being able to make it the previous day

Cunt: What's you excuse?

Me: Excuse!? I can tell you the reason if you like?

Cunt: Go on then.

Me: My 18 month old daughter was throwing up, I could have come in, but there would be sick everywhere.

Cunt: But you have to be available for work or interview.

Me: I am. If I had an interview I'd have arranged child care, but this was jut signing on.

Cunt: But you have to be available for work....

The cunt was in robot mode, and told me the next time my child was ill they'd stop my payments. Nice.

Anyway a few month later I'm an IT Support Manager and all is right with the world. 2 years later I'm interviewing for 4-5 new help desk people..you know what's coming.

In walks the cunt. I couldn't believe it. I actually had to make my excuses and leave the room for 5 minutes to calm down, and THANK THE LORD.

No doubt some others on here would have wreaked long winded and complicated revenge. I just explained to cunt that I was someone who'd been on the receiving end of her 'customer service skills' at the DSS and there wouldn't be a place for here. She demanded to know the details, but I told her 'I'm not going to waste my time on this' and ended the interview. All with a fucking huge grin on my face mind.

So there you have it. For those couple of minutes my universe was wonderful ordered place run by a benevolent divine power.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 23 Feb 2008, 10:18, 6 replies)

Military Karma
So my best friend from High School, College AND Marine Corps OCS, we shall call him Carl, for that is his name. Anyway, after four years in Uncle Sam's Misguided Children (the US Marine Corps) as an infantry officer, he left the Marines and after 5 years, decided to ENLIST in the Army Reserves. For those of you not familiar with the military, he basically was an officer and threw it away to become a Sergeant.

So he goes to Iraq, spends 14 months as a Platoon Sergeant and just this VERY evening, his Commanding Officer came to him and said "After your meritorious service to this regiment, we are FORCING you to become an Officer....again."

He is NOT happy! Poor bastard. He is BESIDE himself! Absolutely HILARIOUS! Now, all that 'responsibility' that he was trying to duck by 'just being a Sergeant' is going to FLOOD onto his shoulders! :)
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 3:21, 1 reply)

karma taught, i listened
when i was about 18 or so, i was a CB radio fan (CB radio = IRC with your actual voice), and a bit of an opportunistic tea-leaf.

where i lived at the time, there was a semi-derelict building a couple of streets away with a large radio antenna attached to it, prolly from a taxi company or something like. much larger than the one i had at the time. so, one night i went there with the intention of ripping it off that wall, and bolting it onto my wall.

i fell at the first hurdle. i climbed over a six-foot fence, but as it was dark (and i was dumb enough not to take a torch) i didn't notice the twelve foot drop on the other side. i was lucky not to break any bones or land on something pointy.
i had a huge scrape of skin missing down my leg and various other cuts and bruises, and climbing out of that dark hole hurt like hell and took what felt like an hour.
since then, the only thing i will steal is time. i.e., the foreman has gone home early, let's wrap up and fuck off.
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 3:18, Reply)

Karma, but not calmer...
I'm out at the Advanced Photon Source in Chicago running an overnight experiment. Things can get pretty tedious and the whole experience can only be survive by dosing oneself up with caffeine and sugar and getting a bit hysterical.

The student I am working with and I have just gone to find some more coffee. She's probably the favorite of all my workmates; we get on like a house on fire despite the fact that she's a perky californian and I'm a misnthropic northerner, she's 20 and I'm 33 and perhaps most comically, I'm almost exactly a foot taller than her.

We found the coffee stash and poured ourselves a brew. I take my coffee with cream, as does she; I noticed that there was only one serving of half and half left, so, I held her at arms length, grabbed it and poured it into my cup, laughing as she flailed helplessly at the end of my arm.

I grinned as I took a huge swig of my delicious beverage...

Then promptly spat it out as I realised that the cream was in fact so old it had turned to cottage cheese.

She's not stopped laughing about it since. Bitch.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 2:57, 2 replies)

trust your mother!
many moons ago (not as many as some members, being in college still), i was on a half term from secondary school. decided to go see my old mate from primary school, invited him round. after the usual mucking around, he left. upon which, my mother announced:
"i don't want you to see him again, he's a bad influence"

fast forward to a couple of years later, another break, decided to go see my old mate. went out on our bikes(he had a bmx, i didnt), anyway, mucking about on our bikes, he decides to do something, which results in his stunt peg through my front wheel, catapulting me knee-first into the asphalt. it bloody hurt. a lot. my knee proceeded to swell to double its size, leaving me in constant pain, and unable to walk (popped my kneecap off with the fluid)

to this day i tell my parents i hit the kerb
more karma to come?

(*pop* first post)

Length? i couldnt walk properly for 6 weeks
(baldpig pee'd in your pool on, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 1:00, Reply)

I knew a guy in high school
who became obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons - to the point where he was obnoxious to his friends (ie us) about our disinterest in the game.

Well, 20 years later he was robbed by 2d10 orcs.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 0:50, Reply)

Try it, it's fun !
Sat at traffic lights in my car I notice a semi drunk bloke crossing in front of me. I rev the engine hard. Drunk bloke jumps 3' high in the air and does comedy
'running in the air manoeuvre' before landing and bolting for the pavement, me and mate laughing our heads off.

Light goes green, I drive off and within about 6 feet I realise I have a flat tyre.

10 mins later I realise I have badly seized wheel nuts.

About three hours later (plus a suspected hernia - a different drunk bloke who swore he could shift the seized wheel nut - failed) the RAC have me on my way.

I still do it to people at pedestrian crossings but these days I only blip the throttle.
(sham-il-eer-tak-tak noes better but still can't give a fuck at, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:56, 2 replies)

Rope Swing
On a summer's day in the 90's, me and a few of my mates went down to a nearby brook - there was a rope swing hung onto a tree which had been there for decades, and you could swing out over the brook. Fun!

After a couple of hours, we got bored, and as a leaving present, one of my friends got his lighter out, and burnt about 1/2 way through the nylon rope as a surprise for the next user.

Roll on three months, back at the ropey. The aforementioned mate jumps on rope swing, and with a crack, the rope gives way and he lands on his arse!
Funniest thing I've ever seen.
(Nibi, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:56, Reply)

In my days as a DSS monkey...
I was faced with an assorted bunch of scrotes, knob jockeys, cunts, wastes of space, and some thoroughly decent people actually.

This tale concerns one of the worst. Is it karma? I don't know - you decide.

This particular client I came across when I was working on reception in a DSS office. I had been warned about him - all charm and feckless innocence at first, but underneath a pretty nasty piece of work with a violent temper and a drug habit.

It was the drug habit that rendered him with the status of being probably the only person with HIV in the town - this came out because he was on Incapacity Benefit as a result of his condition, and it was on his sick note. Now, this is confidential information as far as we were concerned, but, being a small town, it didn't take long for word to get out somehow.

On the one occassion I encountered him in that particular phase of my career, he was harrassing his ex girlfriend by following her everywhere she went. Which on this occasion, happened to be when she had called into the office to make a claim for benefit.

Incapacity Benefit.

Because of her new-found HIV status, contracted from her twat of an ex.

Contracted, as he had known about his status but not bothered to tell her, and so deliberately infecting her.

(We can get into a debate about contraception and being careful, but I'm not going to).

Anyway, he had followed her in and was being generally intimidating and a bit scary, so we called the police, they arrived and carted him off, but not before he did a victory sign and danced around the office like an uncoordinated David Brent with Parkinson's.

Flash forward a few months, and I'm now doing the same job but in a smaller, satellite office (operated by me and me alone - really just an enquiry office in a different town). Who turns up? Yep, him, having moved to the area and is now of 'no fixed abode'. This being the nearest office, he has to come in every fortnight to collect his giro. At around the same time, a rather grisly murder is discovered when a similarly homeless character is found dead on a local beach. This character is known to be associated with our HIV positive friend, and the resulting investigation and subsequent court case is swift and unanimous. Guilty as hell, he's carted off to serve a hefty sentence.

Now, the karma here for me is the thought of our 'hero' in prison, surrounded by far nastier people than he who haven't had a woman for years, giving him a good seeing to, whilst in return slowly and unwittingly removing their own sorry hides from the gene pool...*



Am I twisted? More to the point, do I really bloody care? His ex seemed like a really nice person; young, pretty, and he knowingly handed her a death sentence, whilst performing a much quicker job on one of his so-called friends.

*Note to self - think of something light hearted for this week and be quick about it.*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:38, 5 replies)

joepublic
you ruined my story line..Watch out thats a karma thingy right there!
Dammity Damn Damm
(godisdove I like cheese, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:23, 2 replies)

1
As a student I was dreadlocked, smelly and dressed in holes with cloth round them. If I had a time machine I would go back and shoot myself, honest I would!
Anyway I am on the tube (Central line) one morning and an old couple get on, sit opposite me and pass remarks about my appearance. When they leave several stops later they forget to take their camera..which they had conveniently just put a new roll of film in. Thanks for that rude old couple. And that will teach you to pass remarks about scruffy students.
Ha
Karma
Ha
(godisdove I like cheese, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:21, Reply)

No sign of Karma yet...
I can't think of any karma stories right now.
The only time I can remember it being mentioned in relation to me is by my ex...

My first serious relationship began almost exactly a year ago and lasted 6 months. I was happy being in a relationship, being 19 and inexperienced wasn't fun, so it was comfortable. There were times when I thought "Do we really go that well together" but every time I started forming thoughts of breaking up, I would mentally chastise myself and think of shiny things.
Relationship good. Single bad.
Eventually I began to see we were completely incompatible. I was a jolly social sort who thrived on the plentiful company of others, I was optimistic and saw a bright future.
She, on the otherhand, was an angry, pessimistic type who wanted me all to herself, and once cried for half an hour because I gave a female friend a slice of cheese...
"You never do anything thoughtful for me!"
I became scared to say anything, I retracted into myself around her and became unresponsive.
She became angrier and more pessimistic and every time I saw her she'd be upset and repeatedly tell me what a shit boyfriend I was.
At about 5/6 months, she tells me she loves me, I concur but she calls me on it later and I retract the statement. More crying.
A couple of weeks later she's talking about us moving in together. I'd just turned 20 (she cried on my birthday when I spent some time talking to my mates who came to visit from back home, she said I'd been ignoring her). We'd been going out 6 months.
Not long afterwards I broke up with her.
She kept trying to meet up again so we could "stay friends"
I tell her I need some space before we can, so I stop contacting her. She keeps emailing me regardless. I ignore them, hoping she'll remember that I needed space.
She keeps emailing me, and begins playing good-cop bad-cop with herself, sending an angry email, then a "forgiving" email. The forgiving emails would almost draw me into replying until I'd see some snide comment at the end that would invalidate everything she'd said previously.
Eventually she sent the last email and thankfully it actually was. I ignored this one too.
The post-script?
"P.S. I hope you don't get YOUR heart trampled on and I hope Karma doesn't come and bite you on the ass."
Oh how I giggled.

Epilogue:
Still single, but a shit-load happier :D
Had a badly spelt text message from her at christmas. Also ignored this. I don't think Karma has affected me and I have no idea about whether it's affected her.
(joepublic 's opinion does not represent that of the public, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:17, 1 reply)

2
When as a young and fragile yoof I was just getting used to buying puff two bastard shitbaggers riped me of for £80. # yeras later one is doing several years for aggravated burglary and coping with a juicy smack habit. The other ends up in a nasty car crash that leaves him very dead. He and the driver are both extra smacked up and go into a tree at 65mph. He had a bag of 2000 e's on his lap. Not sure how the police managed to count them all. Prehaps they didn't, prehaps they left it too the newspaper reporters...who knows..who cares..
Karma...not even drugs will save ya..
(godisdove I like cheese, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:16, Reply)

3
Driving along an Essex A road that is small and twisty when a large and shiny Range Rover started trying to get all cosy with my rear bumper. A swift (but controlled) application of the handbrake resulted in Farmer Sloane having to choose between my bumper or the verge. He took the verge. It was a ditch cunningly disguised as a verge by lots of grass.
Dont drive like twunts shiny Range Rover men. Karmas gonna get ya...
(godisdove I like cheese, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:12, 1 reply)

4
Acted like a complete twunt for much of my teens and early 20's. Hurt lots of people and didn't give a monkeys.
Then I crashed a motorbike and ended up paralysed for life.
Didn't see that one coming.
Doh!
Karma...it gets you in the end...
(godisdove I like cheese, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Stalker Girl, who got me on the Best page a couple of weeks ago,
is, I discovered last night, having made my life a living hell for about eighteen months, dating and indeed living with a poker addict (who cannot play without his lucky hat or sunglasses) who looks like Ron Weasley (although to quote a friend of mine, "that's probably part of the appeal as she loves teh Potter so much").

I consider this karma, when I consider all the perfectly nice people she's alienated and freaked out over the years, and meanwhile I have a perfectly well-adjusted other half with no gambling problems at all, after she told me I was too messed up to have a relationship.

I'm also only posting this because I don't think I should add the one about the guy who bullied me for years at school and messed me up for life in certain ways, and died horribly at the age of 18.
( Maladicta, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 22:26, 3 replies)

the eyes have had it
when she was a teenager, my mum would ruthlessly taunt some poor woman who lived near her. this woman had a lazy eye AND a squint, so my mother felt there was much to taunt.
my grandfather said to her "if you don't stop it, you'll have a kid with funny eyes one day"
she didn't believe him, so she didn't stop teasing.

scroll forward about 10 years and along i come, birth defects galore, having to visit st. paul's eye hospital 3 times a week for the first 7 years of my life, then onto moorfield's in london for the next 10 years, many operations, many stumped doctors, all of this punctuating a childhood of being called popeye, isiah(one eye's 'igher than the other), specky, gozzy eyes, the lot.
what goes around, comes around, eh?
thanks a fucking bushel, mum.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 21:58, 1 reply)

Always help the disabled!
When I was in grad school there was one professor in my department that was a real bitch. The undergrads were generally terrified of her and the grad students for the most part never put her on their committees for her outright abusiveness.
So one semester she had a student in a wheel chair that had a rare type of dwarfism that we had to by law accommodate. The girl in the wheel chair was well liked by all the grad student teachers, she was a hard worker, and we figured out ways for her to get work done. This was art school and the grad TA's had her participating in complex tasks like bronze casting, welding, ceramics, etc. The girl ended up in the bitch teachers printmaking class one semester doing wood block prints. The professor immediately kicked the student out of class on the grounds that the girl couldn't do the work. It was woodblock... the simplest form of printmaking! Us grad students were appalled and even after we figured out how the girl could print the professor wouldn't budge. (More background, the professor got her job by sleeping with the dept chair and then sued for tenure and won years before.) So naturally a lawsuit starts up after it was clear accommodations could be made. The bitch professor had tenure and was bullet proof and a settlement was taken out of my departments funds... wiping out all the money for supplies and operations, as well as the money us grad TA's were given to work and offset our tuition. The bitch professor blew the whole thing off, felt no remorse and talked about it in a joking and flippant manner to us. The grads were seething with rage... our funding was pulled and the professor was punished in no way.

The karma part?
Two weeks ago she was out riding a horse, was bucked off and snapped her neck when she hit the ground. She is paralyzed from the neck down and will be wheel chair bound for the rest of her life most likely.

That professor was a huge bitch... but Karma is even bitchier!
(TribeDoktor, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 21:43, 3 replies)

Mr BMW gets stricken down
So in my lovely town, there's a lot of roadworks going, underpasses and whatnot being built. Anyway, this means that rush hour traffic is now even worse than it was before and the rules of the road have seemingly gone out the window.

Heading to work with my friend at the wheel a few weeks ago, towards the start of rush hour, we notice some prick in a BMW behind us, who was so close to our bumper you could smell the Turtlewax. Anyway, the guy proceeds to cut up a bunch of people and then do an undertake and gets ahead of the pack. A few minutes later, we roll onto the busiest part of the motorway, and up ahead there's a cloud of smoke coming from the middle lane.

Yes, Mr BMW's beloved car had packed in, smoke piling out of the radiator and all. Fucking priceless - we gave him the one fingered salute as we drove by, laughing at his misery. Wanker.
(gunforhireuk, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 20:52, Reply)

I hit a deer on my motorcycle
Killed it stone dead whilst remaining upright and totally unhurt.

Two days later I fell off a moped at about 5mph and broke my leg rather nastily in three places.

Hospital? Yes please, five weeks worth.

I've heard of Karma Chameleons, but Karma Deer?

There was some young idiot in an xr3i behind me, he actually stopped on the stricken animal and did a burnout on it before screeching off, I had to drag it out of the road, so fuck knows what happened to him two days later. I'd love to know.
( Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 20:35, 4 replies)

Revenge
I don't remember much about New Year's Eve, 1999. Having worked late that evening, I had to play catch-up at a friend's house party, and I was really really drunk. I do remember that when the clock struck twelve I was hugging a friend of mine, a girl I had met a few times before.

The girl's boyfriend was a bit of a twat, or so I've heard. He quite often would get drunk and punch random strangers, which didn't stop my cute and lovely friend from dating him, for some reason. From what I can gather, he arrived at the party at midnight and saw me hugging his girlfriend, and apparently this must have sent him into a rage.

After midnight, my first drunken memory of the year 2000 is some big bloke taking me into the kitchen several hours into the new year when many people had left the party. The kitchen was empty, and he proceeded to headbutt me, park me on a chair and tell me not to move or he'd kick the shit out of me. After that, it gets hazy again, but apparently I got up and told everyone I'd been headbutted.

Being students at the time, all of our festive evenings were spent in the pub, catching up with mates who we didn't see while we were at our respective universities. Each night, my friend was there, sans boyfriend, and she'd make a point of coming over and apologising for her idiot fella's behaviour. Then we'd get chatting, and we got on like a house on fire.

A week later a few of us went out to a club. The girl and I went home together, and I was sleeping with the girl whose boyfriend headbutted me for hugging her. She dumped him not long after, and we started going out. And none of this would have happened if he hadn't have headbutted me.

She broke my heart six months later, but the twat got into a fight outside a chippy and someone put a brick through his skull. Not the happiest ending ever, but there you go. Karma.
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 20:34, 1 reply)

Roid Rage
As most humans know if you don't shit then you die. With this maxim firmly wedged in my brain, I am dealing with a fuckery horrible shoulder injury with very nice doctor drugs.

Unfourtunately in my haste to make waste I pushed a wee tad too far so.....I am the proud new mum of a bum grape.

Who do you tell when you are sitting on the loo, unable to move due to a giggling fit?
(jo-jo the majic clown, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 20:22, 2 replies)

There are those relationships ...
.... that should only ever be confined to university years, and with some universities and cities, they are. People tend not to hang around in Norwich, Exeter, St Andrews, Durham &c so after a few months of heartfelt and failing long distance post-graduation efforts, the boy-girl thing falls apart.

This is not the case in a city where more people hang around. By the time you do some early 20s dossing about, have a job, leave it, she does voluntary work, then one of you finally makes a move somewhere else, it's quite possible that you've been together for - let's say - 5 or 6 years. At that point you might still only be 24 or 25, but a relationship of that longevity feels pretty serious, so you reckon you can't give it up just because of *distance* surely? So over the course of an academic year - in different cities - you try to keep it going ... you sleep with someone else, she sleeps with someone else, all the signs are there (in 20/20 hindsight) that it's time to call it a day, but the sheer gravity of the previous years pulls you back ... Finally you make a decision to live together, try hard to a few months, and it fails horribly. After 7 years together, you give up, split up, and go live in separate places...

On the bright side, you're young. There's a 20something resilience at work. Within a few months, there's a new woman around. She's cute, smart, interesting, ideal. It's all going really well then you do something rather dumb. In a "one last trip" trip to go and collect your stuff from where you used to live with the ex, both you and she make the egregious error of sleeping with each other "one last time".

You even confess to the new woman and she grits her teeth, unhappily, and reckons, "Oh well, they'll never see each other again..." Yeah ...

Couple of months later, a letter arrives, out of the blue, from the now distant ex. Would it, er, at be possible, sort of, to try again? Sophie's choice but without the dead kid ...

So do you

1. Go back to the former love of your young life, the woman you thought you'd be with forever OR

2. Blow her out and stick with the bright shiny new woman?

Gravity pulls. You dump the new girl and try again with the old one. It starts well, it even lasts for a while happily; as much as two or three years. But then you settle, both have jobs, buy a flat, and things start to sour. She hates the city, she wants to have kids and work part time, or not at all. You're a city living freelance with no security of income. After a watershed year of terrible trauma involving bereavement, illness and depression, she dumps you for a new life. Oh crappy crappy crap crap.

Over time, you pick yourself up. Things improve. Women even start to look at you again. More than 3 years after the big split, and the odd liaison notwithstanding, you fall HORRIBLY in love with a married woman at work. Her marriage is up shit creek. She likes you. You like her. You fend off the inevitable but eventually you sleep with her; not a "bit on the side" scenario, but a view to the future where her failing marriage will end and you and she shall be together. Permanently.

One autumn day she packs her bags and leaves her husband. She sits in a friend's house for a few hours, deliberating. Then gravity draws her back to the man she'd married something like ten years previously. She tells you this the next day. She says she can't see you anymore, but you were thinking that as well - not a bit on the side remember but an aspiration of having a future together, now blown away.

Karma? You dumped the bright shiny new girl way back in early '90 ... the married one dumped you in '00 ... gravity won in both cases and karma was squared.

Length? Don't read the fucking thing then.
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 20:14, 1 reply)

The karma fairy is taking the piss..
.
Back in December we splurged some of my (bloody hard-earned) bonus on a new telly for the kids' room. Nice shiny thing, 19 inches, all the bells and whistles (as it were). We actually debated it for quite a while 'cos it seemed a lot of money for a pair of kids. The old one was knackered - 14 inch screen with a nice purple bit where a magnet got too close, and no amount of tuning got rid of the "gently falling snow" effect. Anyway, we took the plunge and bought the telly. Two delighted and grateful children later, we felt like we'd done the right thing.

Fast forward to a fortnight ago, and a workmate was selling raffle tickets in aid of her son's football team. I bought a fiver's worth and made my usual jokes about not bothering to enter mine in the draw because I've never won a prize in any kind of raffle or draw. Not even a tube of Smarties at the tombola. Nada. I promptly forgot all about it.

Just this morning, my workmate bounced over to my desk like Tigger on acid, and plopped a big box down.

"You won first prize" she announced. My jaw hit the desk, and I eagerly scanned the box to see what I'd won.

Yes, it was a telly. A 15 inch LCD telly. More to the point, it's PINK. I brought it home and the girls demanded it be installed in their room forthwith. Because it's PINK. It's smaller than the one we bought, but the one we bought is NOT PINK and is therefore inferior.

We now have a nice, nearly new 19 inch telly we have no real use for. We could put it in our room, but there's no aerial in there. Still, we can always spend some more hard earned cash and have one fitted. We haven't really decided yet. My mum, when she stopped laughing, suggested I gift it to her, but was told that while I love her, I don't love her quite that much.

I have concluded that the karma fairy is having a bloody good laugh at me today. The first prize I ever win and I don't really need it.

To console myself, I have, since lunchtime, eaten three-quarters of an M&S chocolate cake, and now feel a bit sick. That's not karma though, that's just sheer greed.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 22 Feb 2008, 19:57, 3 replies)

Karma is the best teacher
The house that I grew up in backed onto an old stately home which was owned by the council. During the time we lived at that house the stately home went through many various uses. At one time it was a hospice, then an old people’s home and then, for about three years, was a day centre for the handicapped. I was about 10 at this time – my brother was about 18.

Everyday the kids and adults would arrive in their yellow bus and spend the day playing games and learning life skills with their friends. During the summer I would often jump over my fence and play football with the more able bodied. Once in the winter we had a massive snow fight. I became friendly with a lot of them (and still am) and was allowed to join in the games and help the care workers. They may have had a tough break in life but they were lovely people with the biggest hearts I have ever known.

My brother on the other hand was a complete cunt to them.

At every possible occasion he would gleefully shout out spastics, window lickers etc. He would spend his days finding new and inventive ways to upset them for his own enjoyment. It started off with verbal abuse but it finished quite seriously. Once – around Guy Fawkes – he through a load of bangers over the fence as they were getting into their bus. The resulting bangs scared the crap out of them and they all run in different directions, some screaming and crying, and hid. It took the poor workers hours to get them all calm and on the bus.
My brother was quite obsessed with paintball. As there were no organized events at the time you had to buy your own gun and meet in some random field. He saved his money and brought the top of the range gun. The thing was he wasn’t the best shot. So he decided that the best way to practice was to sniper the disabled from his bedroom window as they got off the bus.
The police were called and he got a dressing down from my parents. For some reason in his twisted logic he decided that this was the “spastics” fault and he would get revenge.

It was announced that the centre would be closed as the council wanted to build flats on the site and they had a large party one day so they could all say goodbye to each other. My brother ruined the party. He spent the day chucking water bombs over the fence – playing Led Zepplin so loud that they couldn’t hear there party songs – shouting abuse – spraying the hose over the fence and generally being a cunt in the highest order.
His reasoning to all this was “I fucking hate mongs”.


So where is the Karma…..

Well my brother had his first child last year. And guess what!!!
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 19:54, 7 replies)

Zachary was always an odd lad.
Zach was in my year at school. He was a vegetarian and had long hair, which is perfectly fine, but he also wanted to genetically engineer green people (not the eco-friendly kind).

He wasn't the kind to get in trouble but nevertheless one day Zach gets into a heated argument (probably about the ethical issues of green people) and is challenged to a fight. Being a man he accepts the challenge. Being Zach, he starts making strange gestures at his adversary. This wasn't the fingers, the finger or anything remotely aggressive. It was more like "twinkle twinkle little star" without the singing.

"What are you doing" asks adversary.

"I'm throwing bad Karma at you"
(GadBeebe, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 18:59, 2 replies)