Audi driving twunt
The other day, I was on the motorway in my adopted home in France, overtaking a lorry at the national speed limit of 130kmh. I’m about half way past the big diesel chugging, Paella slurping, shit-stained y-front-toting, crumpled porn mag grasping driver when I notice the prince of all cunt cars zooming up behind me - an Audi TT. If you’ve ever driven here you may notice a mildly irritating habit the people have of leaving their indicators on “left” when overtaking, even if they are in the fast lane and there is no “left” other than the barrier. This guy was doing this, thus letting me know that he intended basically to overtake everything in his path, and that I should hurry up and get the fuck out of his way. Not content with the indicator alone, he also decided to start flashing his headlights and gesticulating wildly with his hands in a wannabe proper mediterranean diego fashion. The thing is, as a new driver I’m only supposed to do 110kmh, which is not realistic, but it’s not worth the risk going over 130 as I would be on shit street proper if I got flashed. So I maintained my speed. In fact I may even have slowed down a bit, as the rage and indignation leapt through my synapses. Another example of mindless aggression from the security of an expensively engineered locked steel box.

For some reason, when I do get past the lorry, the guy insists on pulling up alongside me and waving his hands at me wildly. I’m sure there was actually spit hitting the inside of his passenger side window. Now, I’m normally a fairly careful driver, preferring to keep both hands on the wheel at all times, but I broke a rule and gave this guy a nice frank middle finger and blew him a kiss. Not sure what inspired the kiss, but it really seemed to enrage him. The nutter overtook me, then stayed at my speed, pointing at the next “aire de répos”, which was just 500m away, and implying that we should meet there to discuss our differences.

I really do not go in for this sort of thing, I mean you never know who is in the car do you? But on this occasion the rage caused by him cutting me up as he overtook carried enough momentum to guide my car onto the slip road and into the small car park where I pulled up along side him and got out of the car. I was surprised when he didn’t do the same.

After a time, a custom built sliding door began to open slowly on the Audi, to the background of quiet siren and a flashing light. As the interior of the car was revealed, a wheelchair bound figure came into view. In time a ramp slid out and a smiling head and torso in a wheelchair rolled down on to the tarmac. The motorised chair moved to face me almost silently and its owner made a classic “what are you gonna do?” shrug with his two good arms outstretched, ripe to embrace the prize of my impotent outrage. I jabbed him once hard in the face and drove off wondering whether I had done the right thing or not. Probably.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:39, 39 replies)

click
I would have done the same
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:55, closed)

hold on, what seriously?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:15, closed)

Untrue post is untrue.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:02, closed)

I particularly like the racism.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:08, closed)

It's a well-executed piece of obvious trolling.
Well played, I say.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:11, closed)

Nonononononono
These are jokes, LIKE ON TOP GEAR.

/Stewart Lee
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:11, closed)

i watched that last night,
then worried that it might be from the gig that i am going to in march, then realised it probably wasnt
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:13, closed)

if you've got ten minutes spare do watch this if you haven't already
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzAExC8iEFs&feature=related
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:21, closed)

what the fuck?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:04, closed)

Untrue post is untrue

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:06, closed)

so you punched a guy in a wheelchair and are proud of that?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:12, closed)

fair's fair, the wheelchair bloke could easily have rolled over and punched him back. It's not like he kicked him....
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 19:02, closed)

Davros is in a wheelchair and I wouldn't fuck with him

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:51, closed)

Do they eat a lot of paella in France now?
And mediterranean diego? Seriously?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:15, closed)

Thank you!
I am so glad I'm not the only person who noticed this. Seriously, if you're going to write an untrue little story about socking one to a disabled Frenchman, at least get your racial stereotypes correct!
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:08, closed)

Got to say
it does seem a little made up. Audi TT converted for a wheelchair? There's fuck all room inside them for an able bodied person. Motorised Wheelchair AND a ramp? Hmm..
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:16, closed)

I've got to say, it's either a masterpiece of QOTW satire, taking in as it does..
..tiresome sub-Top Gear jokes, self righteousness and prickish hardmanning, or the OP really is a monstrous prick.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:18, closed)

me calling him a prick is just like off top gear, when they do the jokes.
its just a joke.
although interestingly, that also happens to be my genunie opinion.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:22, closed)

I'd favour almighty prick

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:24, closed)

In all fairness, the two aren't mutually exclusive, I'm genuinely impressed at the standard of trolling.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:27, closed)

Top trolling marks Badger, he's waited over six years to strike with this ambitious effort, he's certainly put the groundwork in and fully deserves the attention he's gained

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:32, closed)

He's had to patiently build his innings Aggers, but he's reaping the rewards now.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:43, closed)

2 / 10

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:16, closed)

I like this

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:22, closed)

Hang on! He never said what he was driving.
It's got to be the HAOJ.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:54, closed)

Suck my Honda Accord
Wow, a scandal eh?! Nicely, but a rant written to amuse is hardly trolling is it, unless a lot of b3tans drive Audi TTs? The post is 78%as true as 50% of QOTW posts. FACT. Also, I'm not racist, I just really don't like paella. coming over here with their fishy ways: NAH MATE!
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 19:46, closed)

Oh dear.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 21:30, closed)

It wasn't very amusing though.
I found it ridiculous and joke-free.

Well done for trying though.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 8 Feb 2011, 7:43, closed)

So hang on, you actually ARE a massive prick?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 15:16, closed)

I suppose that is a question of opinion. Obviously the story is made up, as you have correctly stated several times, but does the content make me a prick? Quite possibly, but I do find it a bit odd that on the one hand this website hosts images of jokes based on the twin towers, the holocaust, and other atrocities, but by the same token QOTW folk are occasionally extremely PC. As for expecting a high truth content - how many of the better stories you read do you really think are true? Anyway, you know all this, I'm going to go away and find handicapped people to beat down on the way home.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 15:49, closed)

^Finally!
Double-standard idiots.
( industrial_bunny, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:38, closed)

The man is a knob
regardless of whether he's in a wheelchair or not.

I knob is a knob, ability or lack of doesn't come into it.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 19:54, closed)

But should an able bodied man beat up a paraplegic
I suppose you're guaranteed to win, uness the said cripple has guns in his chair or something else James Bond-esque.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 8 Feb 2011, 7:44, closed)

Another case.
b3ta.com/questions/guiltylaughs/post799696
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 9:20, closed)

Liar or Knobhead
you decide
( WormuIus, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:20, closed)

There's only one way to find out...

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, closed)

Excellent piece of trolling
click for you
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:26, closed)

Class trolling
you seemed to have trolled the trolls 10/10
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 16:54, closed)

By law
in Europe you must keep indicating whilst overtaking, so technically the audi driver in this story is a better driver than you.
(MayorBoris, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:19, closed)