My 40th is all sorted.
Buy-in arranged for the WSOP Main Event, with five hopeful nights booked at the Wynn just in case I progress that far.

Hopefully semi-retirement fund will kick in by my 42nd birthday and then we're off on world tour - in style. No more dossing in hostels with moronic Australians and druggie chavs, nope 5* all the way. Enough airmiles now for 1st Class at every stage too.

Then I'll chuck in the Range Rover for a sporty little number, sell up the rest of the portfolio and bugger off to Provence, Mougins possibly, the restaurants are to die for. I'll play the markets from home, fish, paint and hike the lower Alps.

Crisis? What crisis?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 2 May 2013, 15:43, 40 replies)

Mid life
There is no medical definition for a Breakdown or crisis.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Thu 2 May 2013, 15:41, 6 replies)

i turned forty in march.
i have more tattoos than i did at twenty, and if my knees weren't so shot i'd have a bike again. probably a speed triple. i'm pretty happy with my lot in life and i think i also had my crisis at 30. suck it up, kids.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 2 May 2013, 15:35, 28 replies)

Perpetual mid-life crisis
My birthday treat to myself is to take a day off, at some point during which I will watch Ghostbusters. I'll watch Ghostbusters II as well, if I feel like it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 May 2013, 15:16, 6 replies)

you are all a lot older than i thought you were

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 May 2013, 15:16, 3 replies)

Everything must go ...
... well some of it.

I'm selling my half of a glider. Cutting down on drinking, watching what I eat ... doing lots of exercise.

A reverse MLC perhaps?
(Biff..., Thu 2 May 2013, 15:14, 2 replies)

Just before getting the missus pregnant with a couple of kids
my best mate bought himself a motorbike

I got him a donor card to celebrate
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 May 2013, 14:51, 7 replies)

hit mine at 30
had an affair, got married anyway, quicky divorce.

not nice, but im over that 'turning thirty madness'

in other news, i bought a ticket to see neds atomic dustbin at the shepherds bush empire yesterday. 25th anniversary tour.
thats a pointer to middle age and no mistake.
(magictorch, Thu 2 May 2013, 14:43, 12 replies)

One of my favourites:
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 May 2013, 14:43, 21 replies)

Mr Quar was a bit of a dirty biker in his distant youth and now and then he talks longingly of buying a nice big noisy Kawasaki or something.
I just laugh. Where'd he put his golf clubs?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 2 May 2013, 14:03, 6 replies)

Bought a bass guitar a couple of years ago having never before had any real inkling of being musical.
Formed a band and last year, so for my 50th we played our first gig and we did a pretty good job and got people dancing.
( Varmint, Thu 2 May 2013, 13:56, 5 replies)

Knightmare
Awaiting delivery of the entire Knightmare book set and have been playing my old SNES and Megadrive games for the last two weeks. Just been looking at old LCD games as well. I'll be 40 in a couple of months. I think Midlife Crisis is starting to set in.
(ed-z, Thu 2 May 2013, 13:43, 1 reply)

Crisis on hold
Hasn't really hit, though normally a late night is any time after 10pm and spent complaining that we can't drink like we used to. Saturdays used to be spent sleeping then going to the pub for a fry up and pint, now it's sitting around watching the kids at soft play. That is what should be warned about when you have kids as it's probably normal for everyone.

Nearest I've got is buying a load of airfix (and other) model kits to rekindle the joys of screwing up yet another spitfire. Already got an impressive stash that'll never get made.
(bluehamster, Thu 2 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

omg just bought a nokia 8210 lol
so retro!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Sports car
Hitting 30 was a big one for me. So I bought a Lotus Elise and got myself a 20 year old blonde girlfriend.

The girlfriend bit didn't last long as she was a bit immature. The Lotus however has been great.
(BiggestNizzy your company name here pm for rates., Thu 2 May 2013, 13:05, Reply)

I got a job on TV and started noncing

(McChinaman banned, Thu 2 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)

What do you do?
In my 20's & 30's I drank to excess, smoked weed habitually, went clubbing and took e's. I honestly thought I'd be doing it till I died.

Then I dunno what happened I hit my 40's and it just got boring. One by one I stopped.

Last to go was the drinking. I've not stopped that forever (like the drugs I've given that up for good) but I've just decided to give my liver a well deserved rest. Ginger beer with lime is hitting the spot for me on these sunny days
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:54, 10 replies)

I have a spare pair of old trainers to do my gardening in

i bought a cb1000r motorbike when something much smaller would have done

A few years ago i bought a caravan........
because it was discussed with the mrs that it would be cheaper than self catering holidays. Sold it now

I still own a decaying james T-Shirt and wear/squeeze into it occasionally. It isn't fit to polish the car with tbh but it reminds me of me youth.
(Cov Boy, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:46, 2 replies)

well...
...after years of abuse / "gentle chiding" from Mrs Nononono about living in the 90s musically (bit of a techno geek me), i was given the "gift" of a surprise 40th a couple of years back, c/w her choice of soundtrack.

a two tone ska reggae dj who didnt play anything released after 1979.

oh the irony.

and it's my birthday today. thanks.

mid life crisis appears to have revealed itself in the form of inability to pay any household bills. i love the world.
(NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Fed up with feeling boring and old?
Buy yourself a jacket from Dave Dickinson's Universe of Leather, swap your people-carrier for a gunmetal-grey Accord and spend your lunchtimes savouring sneaky breaths of Marlboro Lights behind the bike-sheds, before blowing your pension fund on lager tops and stuffing your sweaty hand down the knickers of Alison from fourth form up against the wall of The Blue Orchid in Croydon.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:35, 2 replies)

I've just been out and voted for UKIP.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:35, 13 replies)

Dubstep
nuff said
(kaptinkurtz, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:30, 8 replies)

Life is but an unrelenting march unto eternal death.
Nobody cares what you think of them, so don't bother yourself with what they might think of you.

Unless they're internet bullies, in which case a bloo bloo bloo.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:05, 9 replies)

Avoid a midlife crisis
by never growing up in the first place
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:04, 26 replies)

You're perfect, yes it's true!
But without me, you're only you.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:04, 2 replies)

Forth

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 2 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Third
Bought a Z4, aaaaaaand a Giant Rapid 1, I go everywhere I can alfresco on either of the aforementioned.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 2 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Teenage suicide.
Don't do it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 May 2013, 11:58, Reply)

First

(CasuallyObscene, Thu 2 May 2013, 11:57, Reply)