the worst thing about modern life, Chinese medicine and herbalists and the people who give these charlatan
Wankers traction. "My friend had X and anyway they got better, modern medicine did nothng" blah blah nonsense.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 18:01, 14 replies)

Ashen, Fossilized Dog Poo
You just don't get them anymore. There were dog turds the colour & consistency of cigarette ash that were almost landmarks when I was a kid. "The cinema? Turn left at the newsagent, straight on, then left at the pile of jurassic poo"
( Young Master Ploppy, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 17:15, 5 replies)

There has to be a better way to have a shit
We just haven't got there yet.
(Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 16:46, 6 replies)

There's not much I miss about my childhood
However, there's several things about modern life that stick in my craw.
Celebrities who are famous for being famous - no discernible talent, no real charisma just the luck to be put through the celeb mill and hyped to the rafters by gossip mongers. Following on from that....
Gossip mags. I'm sure there weren't glossy magazines full of pictures and speculation about non-people when I was young. These mind-meltingly-mediocre wastes of tree pulp run me into my third, and biggest disappointment about modern life.....
Celebration of stupidity. It's now OK to be thicker than a whale omelette. It's more socially acceptable than actually being intelligent, curious about your world and the people in it and having a critical mind.
It's probably my age but I'm now past believing that this will end. It'll be just like 'Brave New World' very soon. I just hope I'm graded as a Beta.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 16:36, 4 replies)

Long, disjointed waffle
Modern life is great, despite is pressures - work, mortgage, kids. We have ever advancing technology, healthcare, entertainment wherever and whenever we like. We have the internet, we have mobile phones, we can connect with people on a global basis at the touch of a button. Yup, life is good. Yet despite all this we have lost touch of so much due to the amount of information that we can access. Sit back, this could be a long one.

When I was a wee little pickle I could roam the streets at will until the street lights came on or mummypickle could be heard bellowing in the distance. As I grew up I started reading the news a little bit and learnt that Alsatians where a bit dangerous. My mate had Alsatians and they were soft as shit, but all of a sudden they were dangerous. Next up came Dobermans and rottweilers - dangerous buggers. Again, I never had any problems with either breed but now they were something to fear. Nowadays it’s the chavs favourite breed, staffies, who we are told are the devil’s own canines. Really? I've never been bit by one. I got bit of a beagle once. I don't see the media making a big deal about hounds??? No. Dogs aren’t dangerous but according to the media they kill ALL the children!. I’ve been bitten by pet mice more than I’ve ever been bitten by dogs!

The media and social media would also have us believe that peados are everywhere and that the streets are a danger for our youth so we have kids who don’t play out anymore. They stay in and get chubby instead thus causing more media sensationalism about the rise of obese kids. No shit Mr Mirror Group! That’s because you’ve told all the parents to be too fucking scared to let their little cherubs play out anymore!!!

I’ve not got mad cow disease yet despite eating god know how many shithouse burgers. I drank all sorts of weird concoctions made out of all sorts of sugar filled shite. I drank fruit juice, I ate sweets and I still have all my own teeth. Scientists like to tell us how bad all these things are, and but in moderation is there really a problem? There is now due to the instant access to information that tells us everything we eat or drink is going to give us the bad death!!!

I remember having being amazed at the Iranian girl who started at my primary school. She couldn’t speak English but she learnt because we helped her. We learnt why she was here, she taught us a little of her culture and she was pretty cool. I remember at the time (early 80s) that the IRA were rather active but in my childhood innocence they were naughty men. Now, I’m sure that some adults of the time thought in terms of IRA=Irish therefore Irish=IRA therefore all Irish are bad. I remember the “invasion” of Eastern Europeans coing over here to take all our jobs. Nowadays it’s the Muslims. They come here claiming our benefits, taking our jobs, raping our kids and fucking shit up. Only they don’t. However with the rise of the internet hate groups are able to spread easier than ever before. Your average neo-nazi is no longer that dodgy skinhead, he’s your work colleage brainwashed by the bullshit that can be found at the touch of a button and spread via social media. Growing up I had a vague understanding of who the National Front were; a tiny minority (a few x1000?) skinheads. Now we have Britain First and due to the power of social media the far right have a platform to reach millions hence the growth of intolerance. When I was little I didn't give a shit whoe you were, where you came from or if your skin was pink/blue/purple/gold. If you liked He-Man and Star Wars everything was fine.

Modern life is great. I can find information on anything with a few keystrokes. I can find the most beautiful pictures in the world. I can read up on any subject I like whenever I like. I can speak to my son on the other side of the world. I have a choice of 100s of tv channels, radio stations, I don’t have to wait for my computer games to load up from a tape. Modern life rocks, but despite all this I miss the olden days. I miss my ignorance of world events. I miss not knowing of the hatred that is so easily spread. I miss not caring about politics and economics.

I miss the olden days. I miss my innocence.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 16:10, 2 replies)

The modern vagina is a many splendored thing.
I don't miss 80s growlers. I knew a girl who was so hirsute it looked like she had the drummer from The Roots in a thigh lock; and it was muskier than an old sports locker.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 15:35, 15 replies)

I agree

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 15:23, 2 replies)

Wasn't telly great in the old days?
No. It was shit. If you're in your mid forties and want your childhood ruined, just go back and watch something you used to thing was the dog's when you were in primary school - "The Six Million Dollar Man", say. It's depressing. And to think I used to be distraught if I missed an episode, certain in the knowledge then that if I didn't see it on first run, I'd NEVER be able to see it, what with there being no way of recording it and certainly no way of ever hoping to see it again.

Whereas now, yes, there are eleventy million channels of crap but you know what? In amongst that there is the odd nugget of good stuff, and if I'm sitting in the pub and you tell me "hey, there's a Sky at Night special on Monday night at ten all about Pluto"*, I don't have to bother remembering that or anything - I can just get my phone out and set the box under my telly to record it. Living in the future is ace. (Also, if I really want to, I can just download every episode ever of every Bodawful TV show I used to think was brilliant. Except I haven't got time...)

*There is. You should record it.
(SonofRojBlake, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 13:54, 4 replies)

Farm animals would just appear
I remember a period of absurdly-lax fence and gate management when I was young, which meant dangerous dogs and psychotic roosters would sometimes lope past, but also meant friendly goats, horses, and cows would just magically appear outside your doorstep. You could learn useful things like how to appease animals and avoid attack through trial-and-error.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 13:54, Reply)

You could....
....leave your front door open, without fear of a Romanian/Syrian/Italian/ISIS/BBC presenter* raping your kids, whilst eating a wagon wheel as big as your head and listening to songs on the radio that had words, and still have change for 20 Players No6, a fish supper, and a pint of mild and be home for 11:30 to see the TV on all three channels turn into nothingness from a white dot.

*BBC Presenter would probably have raped your kids, but it was acceptable back then**

**and even today in Yorkshire
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 13:03, 3 replies)

Porn.
The beautiful discovery of a black bin bag filled with damp jizz discoloured jazz mags in the bushes near the subway you knocked around under as kids.

When my son is old enough I am going to have to go and stage a scenario where by he can discover pornography the same way I did, rather than typing xhamster into Google.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:53, 27 replies)

I'm no Luddite, but there's a few things I miss
Non-smart phones: As in, you could contact people, but you couldn't, for example, settle an argument by going on Wikipedia from the pub, or keep checking your Facebook whilst in the middle of a conversation with someone. Because those things have become universal and they're really annoying.

Reading a map/asking people for directions: I actually quite enjoy managing to negotiate my way around new places, working out how to get from A to B, etc. I also like feeling like a helpful and knowledgeable local when someone who's lost asks me how to get somewhere. Phones and Sat navs have ruined it a bit. Also, you don't get the sort of conversations middle-aged men at parties used to really enjoy, about whether you should take the third or first junction off the A3009 if you were trying to avoid roadworks near Trumpington whilst taking a short cut between Ribblesthwaite and Upper Shittingly.

Under-age drinking: I feel a bit sorry for the younger generation nowadays with a lot of shops and pubs cracking down, and all the ID-ing everyone under 25 nonsense. When I were a lad, you had about a 50:50 chance of being able to buy a 1.5 litre bottle of Strongbow and 20 Silk Cut if you went into the Spar when you were 17 and just tried to act nonchalant. I can't help but feel it was a happier time.

Proper news: I don't want to read a rolling live blog about the latest EU Crisis Conference telling me Angela Merkel's nipped out for a dump during the break. I don't want an update every 15 minutes via Sky News from a reporter standing outside a hospital, telling me there's no news as yet on whether the royal baby's been born. I want to consume my news in a convenient format, where they explain what's happened in one go and the sum total of what we know so far, at a single point every day.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:41, 14 replies)

TV nostalgia shows were much better back then.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:40, Reply)

My youngest is 4 and can't even read yet, however she can surf the internet (mostly for youtube vids) and work the media centre.
This is great if me and the missus want some alone time as we just hand the kids our iPads and sneak off for 10 5 3 minutes

So I'm upvoating modern life!
( Peej, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:22, 9 replies)

the anticipation of going to pick up your photographs after having them developed
that was cool. you don't get that with your iphone 6.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:10, 24 replies)

I liked Question of the Week
when it was just a thread on one of the existing messageboards, rather than a distinct subsection of b3ta. The mystery mod represents the ultimate low point, the nadir, if you will.

No offense, PJ - you may have had a couple of good weeks*, but you've burnt out faster than McChinaman.

*even so, mcbeef deserves the credit for those.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:01, 13 replies)

Everything.
Next question please.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:58, Reply)

I used to take drugs in the nineties
but now I don't care what temperature it is
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:49, 2 replies)

It was better back when mcchinaman used to be qotw mod.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:42, Reply)

It was easier to spot dog shit in mud.
Mud as in soil. Not the group.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:35, 4 replies)

Wireless broadband is loads better than dialup

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:33, Reply)

sian williams was even fitter in the late nineties

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:22, 3 replies)

Oh good, the 'We're all old farts' QOtW again
I remember when this was all fields
(LetsGetDownToIt, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:12, 1 reply)

TV.
As a younger fella there was always something on the TV worth watching.

The Krypton Factor.

Now it is ALL shite. Everything. Pretty much. Every now and then there is something fairly decent like Humans.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:11, 1 reply)

I remember when people posted anecdotes on qftw.

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:11, 2 replies)

Back in the day E's were very good.
(chovnik, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:02, Reply)

turd

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 11:01, Reply)

second

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 10:52, Reply)

Back in the day people would've jumped on this and said 'first' by now.
The fucking losers.
( Muns, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 10:51, Reply)