Slightly tenuous, and more than likely going to attract a stream of bile from the regular moaners, but here goes.
I have a problem at work.

He's a guy who has the office a little way down the corridor, and with whom I've worked on a number of projects. And he's a chaotic alcoholic.

When he's on form, he's great; he's very likeable. But for the last couple of years, he's really not been on form at all: there's been the odd good day, but nothing more than that.

People who've been here longer than I say that he's been a drunk for many years; I've known him since I came here in 2006, and I'm beginning to wonder if I've ever seen him sober. Recently, though, he's been much worse than anyone can remember.

Not only is he destroying himself; he's wrecking everything he touches as he goes. He's not doing his job; he's alienating clients; he's alienating all the rest of the staff. He's already demolished his family.

We've been covering for him for a long time, because he's not well, and because of a residual, but fading, memory of him being one of the good guys. (The upper management is staffed by vampires. None of us wants to give them the satisfaction of sacking him, because we hate them more than we're troubled by our dypso colleague.)

I know that to stop drinking suddenly can be dangerous; and I've therefore found myself praying that he has a minor heart attack or something - not bad enough to cause long-term harm, but bad enough to put him in hospital for a few days, so that he can be away from booze under medical supervision.

I hate thinking this way.

I know some people here have written about their battles with the bottle; and so I'm asking - at risk of sounding like I have a Messiah complex - Is there any way any of us can intervene to save him from himself (and the rest of us from him)?

Or should I just look for a job somewhere else and forget him, leaving him to pickle?
(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:32, 36 replies)

Take him down the pub you tight fisted cunt.
Go on, have a drink with him.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 10 May 2013, 10:34, closed)

Pfffft!
I've made the mistake of going to the pub with him too many times. If nothing else, I can't afford to keep up with him... God knows where he gets his money from; but eight bottles of wine a day can't come cheap.
(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:46, closed)

He's probably giving tramps blowjobs behind the skips in the alley round the back of the pub at 11p a go.
Your workmate is frisbee adam, yeah?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 10 May 2013, 10:48, closed)

Who is frisbee adam?
I'm not around here much; have I missed some minor lol-scandal?
(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:54, closed)

*shakes head sadly*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:22, closed)

I like this.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 13:10, closed)

You can't hide behind your username Dave, I know it's you.
You're just shit stirring because you want my job you little prick. Well you won't get it.
( Pig Bodine., Fri 10 May 2013, 10:46, closed)

Pynchon clicks

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 May 2013, 12:19, closed)

Come on, Frisbee.
You haven't got a job - now suck me off again and I'll buy you a bottle of Lightning.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:47, closed)

:D
*Frisbok fives*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 10 May 2013, 10:48, closed)

Your attempt to unmask me has failed.
Pig Bodine has clearly spotted my true identity.
(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:53, closed)

Whatever, Alan - whatever.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:55, closed)

Fuck that shit, get the prick sacked before he takes you down with him.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:57, closed)

^ This.
If I turned up to work whilst drunk, I'd be out on my ear. By keeping him employed, you're just carrying him along and enabling him to spend more money on booze.
Failing that, lock him in a cupboard for a week, to dry out.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:08, closed)

This is a Father Ted reference, right?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:16, closed)

That would be an ecumenical matter.

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:17, closed)

He should leave a bottle of sleepy sleepy nighty snoozy snooze
by his desk
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:47, closed)

You don't have to get him kicked out, but you do have to do something.
Although I don't have any statistics for this, based on what I've heard and read, functioning alcoholics will in the majority of cases straight up refuse to admit they have a problem unless and until something dramatic and life-changing happens to them. This guy's already lost his friends and family so the only thing left is his job, and as long as he can say "I still have a job and still get paid to do what I do", he'll think everything is at least OK.

What's the disciplinary structure where you work? You need to get him hauled up before a disciplinary hearing, organised not by upper management but by his immediate boss and his colleagues, with the message "We know you're capable of great things and there are people out there willing and qualified to help you get back on track to that level of performance again, but you have to stop drinking, altogether, and as soon as possible. If you don't make a firm commitment to laying off the booze and follow it through, we won't hesitate to have you fired, because ultimately you're a liability for the team in your present state." You'll still come across as his friends but he should understand this is an ultimatum.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:33, closed)

You're contemplating taking on a thankless
and doomed task.

If he has been an alcoholic for 10 years, there's absolutely nothing you can do to help him. Nothing whatsoever.

Your problem is you feel responsible. You're not.

I wouldn't touch this with a bargepole. If it was my brother, I'd help. A work colleague? No chance.
(username failed moderation, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:36, closed)

If only it was as short a time as 10 years.
From what I hear, it's at least 20. The guy's a medical miracle.
(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 12:18, closed)

^ What umm... fuck it, sorry ufm I just can't come up with anything good
said.
If he's not prepared to go dry then there is nothing you or anyone else can do to make him take that first step.
He may do it to "people-please" but in the end all he'll do is falling off the wagon. Again and again.
Tell him how you feel by all means, & be honest (might be a good idea to get him at his most lucid if you can). But until he wants to put down that first drink you'd just be pushing shit uphill.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 11 May 2013, 0:25, closed)

Nothing you can do
I watched a professional field a call yesterday with exactly your scenario. The ex-wife had phoned up concerned about the 60y.o. man drinking himself into an early grave. She wanted to have him committed. Unfortunately it does not work like that, all that they could do was call an ambulance the next time he was blotto.

At the end of the call, the professional turned to me (he knew I as listening) and said, "You can't save them all".

Sorry mate, this guy has to figure this out for himself. Be a friend, but don't enable him. Sometimes by protecting people from themselves we exacerbate the problem. It's tricky - good luck.
(justin(e), Fri 10 May 2013, 11:37, closed)

Ta.

(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 17:09, closed)

That's one fucking problem with being British: lack, or fear, of being direct.
Why not take a deep breath and say to him "Look, you seem to be pissed all the time, what's going on and have you thought about doing something about it, cos you're in danger of fucking things up for the rest of us?" There's plenty of options his GP can refer him to that are free on the NHS, ranging from complete abstinence - with chemical support to take away the physical withdrawl symptoms - to medication which reduces the amount of 'reward' you get for drinking, making it less fun to have a skinful everyday, thus helping to cut down gradually.

At least talk to him, if he's not your boss or vital to your life, what have you got to lose?

Good luck with it anyway.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 10 May 2013, 12:01, closed)

And when he turns out to be sober, deaf, and Irish,
you can be hauled up on a disciplinary, instead.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 May 2013, 13:18, closed)

Sober AND Irish?
:/
Is that even POSSIBLE?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 10 May 2013, 13:21, closed)

Sober and Irish?
Since when has that been a possibility?
(ubergeekian, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:53, closed)

There is a big part of me that wants to try to confront him.
I don't know if I've got the guts, though. Or whether it's really any of my business.

Thanks, though.
(Gravity's Raincoat, Fri 10 May 2013, 17:10, closed)

Why bother writing this then.
it would have been easier to have blurted out the above than write the story and replies. What do you want people to say? Do something or don't... but if you don't, and let's face it if you haven't since 2006 you're unlikely to, stop moaning about it.

The likelyhood is that any breakthrough will be short lived and form some kind of needy reliance in your direction. So don't feel like it's your responisibilty.

What you could do is keep a miniture bottle if wine on you and make him dance for you during tedious meetings, or ride on his back dangling vino on the end of a fishing line in front of his nose. Of course you're as likely to do that as you are try and help the guy or indeed try and find another job yourself. Probably.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Tue 14 May 2013, 7:37, closed)

Woah there, don't go bringing GPs into this, we have plenty of work as it is without the thankless task of telling people who drink to much not to drink so much.
He can contact alcohol services directly if he seriously wants to stop drinking which, let's face it, he probably doesn't.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 May 2013, 18:23, closed)

Sorry,
but my GP sorted me right out with referrals and stuff, and I was pleasantly surprised at what the NHS had to offer.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 11 May 2013, 0:05, closed)

Chaotic Alcoholic?
There's a D&D alignmnet to be proud of
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:06, closed)

American style intervention.
It's the only way, with the added bonus of looking like quite a laugh.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 10 May 2013, 18:00, closed)

Medication
Grind up a couple of metronidazole and stick 'em in his lunchtime pot noodle. He'll be at the doctor's, begging for help, about three minutes after the next drink.

Seriously, though, you're not going to be able to do anything for him as long as you're all not willing to do anything for him. At the moment, by covering up for him, taking on his work and hiding the problem you are all just as responsible for his drinking as he is.
(ubergeekian, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:57, closed)

looking over the posts...
the GP is the first and best place to start. I have been working in the field of alcohol and substance use for longer than this guy has been drinking, and the GP is the best place to start. they will/should know who will be the alcohol service local to them and will be able to refer to them.

As a starting point the guy needs to stabilise on whatever he is drinking (having the same every day). Then to reduce by 10-15% every four five days. If he gets withdrawal symptoms (shaking sweating, vomiting, squits)then he is reducing too quickly and needs to have a little more alcohol to stabilise himself. If there is any blood then he needs to get to hospital asap. He needs to see the alcohol as medication now, not a means to an end!

I'm guessing his diet and sleep are going to be screwed. He will need to be eating little and often (something on toast, etc) and without doubt going to the GP. The doc will need to be prescribed vitamin b, thiamine and have a blood test called an lft to examine the potential damage to his liver. If he is drinking more than 20 units (10 cans of reg strength lager or half a litre of vodka) a day then he cannot just stop. He runs the risk of having an alcohol induced seizure which can be fatal.
He can then be referred to detox through his local alcohol service which will take 10 days max (for the physical dependency) and get support for the psychological dependency which could take a lot longer.

Of course all of this is for nothing if the guy doe not want support or admit to there being a problem. however all those that say 10 years of dependency means that he will never change are talking through their arses. I have worked with people who have endured 2 and 3 times that length of dependency and come out the other end. If the guy wants to do something about it he can, and the only one who will stop that is him!

I hope this guy gets the help he needs (and more importantly wants).

this is my first post after being a very long time lurker (of about 8 yrs!), please be gentle!
(Psych101, Sat 11 May 2013, 22:09, closed)

Many thanks for that.
We - the rest of us around the office - reckon he's probably on about 6-8 bottles of wine a day. I've no idea how he survives that level, but there you go.

I had no idea that the physical dependency could be broken so quickly; that's reassuring. It gives me some hope for him.
(Gravity's Raincoat, Sun 12 May 2013, 16:12, closed)