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This is a question My Arch-nemesis

I lived in fear of a Darth Vader-esque school dinner lady who stood me perpetually at the naughty table for refusing to eat mushy peas. An ordeal made worse after I was caught spooning the accursed veg into her wellies. Who, we ask, has wrecked your life?

Thanks to Philly G for the suggestion

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:01)
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For two years at school, before he got expelled...
...a bigger, older kid called Mark bullied me fairles relentlessly. Culminating in one dinner break where he and his mates trapped me at the bottom of a staircase (with locked doors, etc.) while they stood on the floor above and hawked green phlegm at me, kicking the crap out of me if I tried to get past them and escape. This went on for the best part of an hour.

Some years later, after he'd been kicked out for being a thickie thug, he was in the local paper having jumped out of a first floor window (second floor, Merkins) during the course of an interrupted burglary. And landed on wrought iron railings, perforating his bowel because one of the spikes went up his arse.

I couldn't have imagined a better comeuppance if I'd tried.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:25, 12 replies)
bravo!
click
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:28, closed)
Haha!

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:42, closed)
I love this story
Once upon a time a bully who used to swear at me and push me around offered me a fight after school. I though why the fuck not, I've got nothing to lose (except my life, where on that day it was barely worth living anyways!). Long story short...I kicked the absolute shit out of this guy, I broke his jaw, teeth and 2 fingers. From that day onwards he and his mates left me alone. I ended up shaking his hand on the last day of my school life and he sincerely apologised for being such a little shit. I ended up fucking his sister a year later and gave her a quite serious STI...I'm not joking...he is looking for me once again!
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:50, closed)
Thats what you call
Collateral damage, heh!
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:23, closed)
Oh man.
I bet his sister was a supermodel who drove an Accord too.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:47, closed)
So let me get this straight....
Someone (let's face it one person shoving you and swearing at you doesn't exactly qualify as bullying realy - unless it goes on for ages) picks on you and teases you a bit at school - challenges you to a fight and you beat the shit out of him. Sorry, but broken jaw/fingers/teeth is a BIT overkill for a playground fight, but I guess maybe these things happen. Still, hardly something to boast about.

Then you screw his sister - no, wait - let's not qualify this as his sister to start with - you have sex with a woman and give her a very nasty STI. And given that you had just left school I'm guessing you where both quite young. That's a pretty fucking despicable thing to do to someone you know? Kind of thing that fucks someone up relationship/sex wise for a fair few years. I don't realy think you should be boasting about such things.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:55, closed)
You're assuming that this is true.
It has the ring of all those 'yeah, I learnt karate and kicked fuck out my bullies' stories a year or so back.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:58, closed)
Maybe I'm naive at this internetting
But there's no way I'd make something up like that that paints me in such a bad light.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:59, closed)
So.
You're admitting, on the internet, to having a rancid cock?
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:56, closed)

We're presuming they're a guy... s/he could have a putrid set of beef curtains instead.

Just saying.
(, Sat 1 May 2010, 8:26, closed)
Bruuuum BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUM...brum *turns off engine, parks up*
yo.

I heard you've got an Accord ...*takes a draw on cigarette*

Do you wanna join the HAOCVG? as in The Honda Accord Owners Club Vigilante Group?

*flicks cigarette* ...let me know bro.

Maybe we can handbrake our cars into nasty dads and office bullies. Take it easy ....friend.

*burns out with flames shooting out one of the models in the backseat*
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:02, closed)
Ha ha! You legend!
There's nothing better than giving an innocent person a serious disease. I'd know, because, just like you, I've had sex.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:10, closed)
once?

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:13, closed)
ALMOST TWICE

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:14, closed)
lolled

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 17:56, closed)
fuck off
I'm not joking... just fuck off
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:12, closed)
Serious bizzzz!

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:22, closed)
I'M GETTING IRATE ONLINE!

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:27, closed)
you are soooooo cool
.
(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:26, closed)
What were his sisters breasts like?

(, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:46, closed)
ha ha ha
Did you almost kill him with a two-inch punch?! And did a voice shout "Finish Him!" once you had "perfected" him? Wasn't the STI a Ford thing rather than a Honda? So many questions, but why the fuck not, I've got nothing to lose...
(, Wed 5 May 2010, 2:57, closed)
I guess
He really got the point didnt he?
(, Sat 1 May 2010, 1:09, closed)

What a piercing bore.
(, Mon 3 May 2010, 16:34, closed)

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