A friend of mine once dumped his girlfriend...
She was a very attractive young lady and one of the nicest people you could meet but my friend dumped her because she was...

"Cutting into his X-Box time."

True story
(chrisdood Why yes, I am the shizzle, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:04, Reply)

I'm an animator.

( somegreybloke, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:58, 4 replies)

I've understood binary for over 1000 years

(Cuthbert Annihilator, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:56, 2 replies)

Does Geekiness inhibit, tho?
Did you know Rod Stewart is a massive toy train fan and has a room devoted to his wee model train empire in his luxurious mansion?

And he's shagged some of the blondest and bustiest women on the planet - quiet a few times.

So what does that say?
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:48, 3 replies)

Nerdy? i think i'm borderline...
if i can build it myself i will - i've had loads of gadgets that look like an accident in a wire and solder factory. i end up with stuff that would be cheaper and better looking to buy rather than build.

i transplanted the speed control circuits on my decks (which i built) to the top of the case so i could make them go backwards and have access to the master calibration pots.

i have a photo of a cicuit board as my phone wallpaper.

among the commodore +4 games i hacked, one (a pacman clone - ghost something i think) i changed the code so the room completed when you entered it. that was as crap as it reads.

i have a watch with a databank.

as a child (1), i built a (crap) safe out of an old toaster. and tried to burn the asbestos lining.

i'm writing this in notepad before i post.

i am the IT support for my friends and family.

as a child (2), i kept a record of the minimum and maximum daily temperatures for a month.

as a child (3), i would build toilet roll tube/electric motor wierdness mobiles.

i copy interent video content from the temp internet files folder and rename it rather than use a recorder.

music encoding bitrates below 320Kbps should be banned.

i can't understand people who don't know why 1+1=10

i have argued the point that dieters are deluding themselves when they talk about calories when what they should be saying is KILO calories.

if something breaks and is in warranty, i have to restrain myself from opening it up. i know i could fix it in five minutes. honest.

i have never bought a PC. since 2001 the only original part is the case, and one side of that is missing because i've never bothered to put fans in. works fine.

my cat slaughtered a rabbit against my PC case (the side which was on) and left it's dying, bleeding, slowly blinking body for me to find in the morning. i thought the blood streaks looked kind of cool (wait - that's not geek...). i was playing a lot of BF1942.

i regularly use a wifi sniffer just to see how many are round our house.

i renamed our ssid 'packet sniffer'.

i set my mum's laptop to bum off her neighbours unsecured network. she doesn't use the net enough to justify paying.

i only threw my commodore 64 out 4 years ago.

before my wife and i moved in together, i had a cupboard dedicated to 'broken but fixable/salvagable' electronics hardware.

i have more than three toolboxes. and three solder irons.

i have a drawer full of PC boards and cables. and a box of audio/video cables.

my wifes dollhouse is not complete until i fit the UV LED's in the bedroom. or the blue ones. with switches.

i built my own surround sound system in 1992.

i like the noises machines make.

i have a commodore 64 machine code programming manual within reach right now. as well as a dictionary of science and technology.

i am surrounded by hundreds of vynal - ilove it. even though i'm listening to my 500Gb external drive full of music on random. with everything from Manowar to U-Ziq. via 70's classic rock. and classical. and blues originals. and folk.

i have more memory keys than i can count on one hand.

i loaded pictures onto my car stereo display.

i regularly defrag my hard drives - i know they don't need it, but..well, there's gaps in the blue.

i would actually buy a binary display watch - if it had a databank. i realise this could cause problems trying to find a taxi number a few beers in..

when i got lost in Tetris, i actually used to try to imagine shapes which would fit into the horizon. they would ALWAYS have to be rotated first.


i'm edititing this and adding that reading the other posts brings so many more to mind that the length dimension just isn't enough to contain any additions etc
(Geek? only 24hrs a day, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:39, 2 replies)

I like to cut things when I'm "up on blocks"
I cut my own hair. And I'm not a hairdresser.
When that's done I do a bit of intimate topiary.
I never need to keep a record of my menstrual cycle. I know I am "due" when I feel the urge to reach for the scissors...
F'rinstance, I cut Davros' Granddad's hair this afternoon - therefore black puddings are imminent.
Sometimes I even snip my finger-ends with nail clippers.

There's nothing quite like spoiling yourself during your "time of the month".
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:38, 4 replies)

I realised how nerdy I am on a trip to Anne Summers
For those who are not in the know - Anne Summers is an underwear shop here in the UK which sells 'extras'. As well as naughty toys it sells the odd outfit. French maids dresses and that sort of thing.

I was browsing the online site one night when I saw something that tickled my fancy. I wanted it so badly that I planned to go and get it the next day.

The morning dawned and hoping that no one would see me going in I dashed through the door to see it hanging there at the back of the shop. The costume I wanted.

I tried it on. It fit like a dream. Looking at how it clung to my curves in the mirror I felt so empowered. The costume made me feel like the girl I'd always wanted to be. Finally I could live out my fantasies to the full.

I got changed again and quickly went to pay. The assistant behind the till gave me a knowing smile. 'Your boyfriend is going to be getting pretty lucky tonight' her eyes said as she swiped my switch card.

I met her gaze with an embarrassed smile. If only she'd know that I was single and that I'd bought the replica Star Trek dress so I could run round my bedroom pretending to be on the Enterprise with a hairbrush for a phasor.

Length? Pretty short but I'm short too so it doesn't look that slutty.
(Door frames, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:22, 7 replies)

Currently, I'm wondering
if there is a Facebook application, in among all the other useless ones (no, I do not want to be a human pet, I do not want petrolheads, I do not want Hot or Not, I do not want Are You Interested or any other kind of wall, whether fun or super) that has a kind of six degrees of separation function, to show how all my friends could potentially be connected.
( Maladicta, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:21, 1 reply)

I'm a bit of a HTML Geek
I eschew such frivolities as M$ FrontPage or DreamWeaver (anything with a capital letter in the middle of the name sounds dodgy to me).

I prefer good ol' Notepad (or should that be NotePad?) and all its plain-text goodness for my HTML.

It's got to the stage where I can't type "&" without typing "&" instead, for example Fish & Chips.com

Geek Note: to get it to show up as & on the board, I had to type & and in order to demonstrate this I had to type & - repeat ad infinitum)
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 23:15, 2 replies)

As you may know i once worked as a teacher..but my new job is better
I work at a Gamesworkshop

I get paid to paint models, play games and chat to people about wargames and little toy soldiers

Life is good :)
(bignutter, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 22:51, 2 replies)

The shame, shame of it all!!
Ok. I’m new here and this is probs gonna make a lot of people go ‘jesus Christ, I cast thee out deamon!’. I go to a society where a pastime is hitting each other with books shouting TORG! I play D&D, Warhammer, Cthulu and other systems like BESM and Swansong. I have played card game parodies of D&D like Munchkin. I also know what Fatal is (for the love of God do not look up this system, I’ve only heard of it and don’t wanna know anymore/ get chucked off of b3ta). I have a daily webcomic binge, read lots of Terry Pratchet, Neil Gaiman and other fantasy/odd writers. I can quote willow and princess bride into the netherworld! I was also a legacy of Kain fangirl. I am starting to play WoW and the concept of playing Bioshock/hellgate/halflife is making me drool LOTS. Now to top it all off, I am studying Egyptian scripts and archaeology. I am not going to get a job unless the events of stargate ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I am of the firm belief Bruce Campbell could kick Chuck Norris’ arse. I have also been on a cthulu based pub crawl where people loose sanity points by drinking. I was nice enough to help people loose extra sanity points by shouting ‘Margaret Thatcher cthulu hentai!’. Now the icing on the nerdy dear god what is wrong with this person cake is, I am trying larping for the first time in summer for a laugh…larping…as a pirate… whats shames me is, I have held back on some of the other nerdier stuff….
(Techkitten, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 22:40, 3 replies)

Not so much nerdy
This is more one of the MANY sad little things I do that nobody else understands....

Shopping for bread.
Now, I'm not a huge fan of symmetry - I go out of my way to arrange things asymmetrically. However, choosing a loaf requires astute attention to detail i.e:
the crust must be crusty, but not so much that it resembles polystyrene on one's teeth;
the top must be neither rounded nor flat, but the perfect medium between the two;
the sides have to be perpendicular - any kinks or grooves are to be rejected;
likewise it is compulsory that all slices are perpendicular - the merest slant constitutes rejection.

Having selected satisfactory loaf, I place it in the child seat of the trolley with meticulous care, lest it be nudged/dented/spoiled by heavier items in the main basket.

All other goods are placed on the conveyor belt with another system with which I won't bore you - for it is tedious.

Finally, I pick up the loaf with the utmost caution, either by cupping it gently by the two crust ends, or handling it by the sticky-ouy bit of the wrapper at the fastened end.

Then what happens....?

I always refuse the nice lady's offer of help with my packing of groceries. For all it is a genuinely kind offer and her name badge proclaims that she is "happy to help", I just know that she will fuck up my System of Packing.

Then I get so engrossed with said system, I forget the Loaf!! FFS, it's taken me 20 minutes to select the fucker......
How can I forget It??

Miss Happy To Help reaches for my prestigously selected loaf....

*fuck, I'm starting to shake and sweat*

She grapples it bruskly BY THE FUCKING MIDDLE and squishes it over the scanner with gay abandon.....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!

(That's the blood-curdling scream emitted from me)

See Tourettes' heart rate spike uncontrolably off the map. See her blood pressure rapidly rise to 190/127. Feel the palpitations. Mop up the profuse sweat. Colour in the temors.

"What's wrong madam? Do you require medical assistance?"
(Turns to tannoy) "Could the instore First Aider please attend checkout 16 - code 42b!"

I am speechless and in shock. I still stutter occasionally, when stressed/menstrual/both. The only way to break the stutter is to shout out a swearword at top volume, then fluency of speech returns. (My swearing is always fluent, not to mention prolific.)

But on this occasion my mouth flaps in useless silence. I am so traumatised, I cannot even swear.

Other customers and staff are exchanging glances, contemplating which one of them is going to make the phone call instigating me being "sectioned" under the Mental Health Act.

I have to be quietly escorted home, sat down with a Nice Cup of Tea and swathed in my favourite Brown Fleecy Blanket.

My face still resembles that of Bishop Brenan's, having been kicked up the arse by Father Ted several hours later.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 22:30, 6 replies)

Comics...
...Lots (and lots and lots) of them. Paul Smith' classic run on X-Men probably being my favourites. Sold them all to buy original comic art. Man, that stuff is like crack. (probably. I'm far too geek-like to have partaken of the pipe).
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 22:29, Reply)

Nerdy? moi?
Right now ... I can count 17 machines on my howm network. This year I lost one. No really lost one. It was still up on the 'net but buried too deep under a pile of crap to actually be found. It was over 2 months before I eventually found it.

my central heating is run by a set of Perl scrips hooked into a variety of temperature sensors around the house, as a result, I often nearly freeze in winter and overcook in summer.

I made an MP3 player for the car long before you could get MP3 players for cars. Building the 12V psu for the PC was the hard part. The custom LCD and pushbutton panel ran from a handbuilt PCB and embedded controller that took many hours of assembler to program.

I first leartn to program on a Z80, in binary. No, not assembler, raw bytcode. Makes it more fun.

Do I qualify yet?
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 21:33, 2 replies)

Geek test


The test is: did you laugh, or were you confused?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 21:31, 14 replies)

Dr Who
Forgot about this. I have video versions of every single 'old' Who, right down to the telesnap versions of the lost stories. In DivX they are about 230Gb, a lot of DVDRs. I got them off a sci-fi torrent site that's since been busted & closed down....took months to DL them all.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 21:31, Reply)

I'm more of a book nerd than a computer or gamer nerd...
I like to play with henna, and every few weeks I change the little symbol on my right wrist. A few weeks ago, I had inked a little Om symbol on my wrist. The girls at work all wanted to see, so I showed it to them. "What's it mean?" they asked. So I told them I'd recently converted to Omnism. I then beckoned them closer, they all moved forward and I whispered "The turtle moves!"

Cue six confused looks.
(ladydyani, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 21:06, 2 replies)

Nerdish? Maybe. Sad? Definitely.
I imagine most of you haven't yet reached your 30th birthday. Mine was back in May 2005.

When you think about it, it's probably the best of all birthdays. You should, in theory, have the experience, awareness and confidence of an adult, not to mention a decent wage after a decade or more of work-place endevours. You are also fortunate enough to still have most of your youthful energy, stamina, looks and enthusiasm.

Let's be honest, these days when people hit thirty, half of 'em are still using skateboards as transport but can now afford the really good ones.

To reflect this grand meeting of optimism and wisdom, most people I know (and I imagine most of you who have reached this benchmark age) celebrate in dramatic style. Almost all of my friends who've turned 30 done so in the expected way; big, expensive gatherings, lots of drink, dance, stimulants, music and exciting carnal encounters.

Me?

I stood on the shores of Loch Ness quietly saying "C'mon, c'mon! Show yourself, damn you!"



If I can redeem myself, slightly, with this story, I was drinking lots of double 15yr old single malts that were £8 a measure

Length? 30 years exactly, I 'spose.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 21:00, 7 replies)

Errm...
...Just scored full marks in the Microsoft Scripting games 2008 Advanced Powershell division...
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 20:54, Reply)

What goes around...
Already mentioned that I'm a massive Doctor Who fanatic (in that I like it a lot, not that I'm some sort of corpulent stereotype that can't get a shag). The coming of the new series was a huge event for me, and I'm not one of the anti New-Who brigade who chastise the new version of the series because it's got decent production values and the sets don't wobble. Oh no, not me, I love it.

Being a fan in the mid to late 80's, when it was largely considered to be (a) waning in popularity and (b) shit, could be a bit disheartening. People would twig that you were a fan and either mercilessly take the piss, or try to engage you in conversation about the show, by recalling the time that Jon Pertwee fought the Daleks and the Cybermen in the same adventure. Meanwhile, I'd be trying desperately to stop myself from mumbling 'actually the Daleks and Cybermen never appeared together in the same episode, not counting The War Games part 10 in flashback, and anyway, Jon Pertwee never met the Cybermen until the Five Doctors in 1983'. So I'd shuffle awkwardly, and try to switch the conversation to whether they thought I had any hope in hell of getting off with Judy Gill. Which I didn't, incidentally.

And so this continued for a good few years. The Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy years came and went. CB was, in my opinion, a brilliant Doctor saddled with mediocre scripts and a costume that really shouldn't have seen daylight. The show started to regain a little modicum of niche credibility in the last couple of years, before being cancelled, resurfacing briefly in 1996 for a one off movie with a crap script, and then finally returning a few years later to audiences of around 8 - 9 million a week. Pretty impressive in this climate of multiple channels.

So now my Dalek gets curry delivery men foaming at the mouth and adding their own special sauce into the bag. My collection of remote control Daleks greets you as you enter the house and people want to 'have a go'. My DVD and video collection is regularly admired (I don't have them all, but do have over 100 - I tend to buy the DVDs sporadically and mainly for the special features if I'm honest, slimming down the VHS collection as I go). I took a few old 80's annuals to a car boot sale last year and they were snapped up with an excited cry that bordered on orgasm (we just didn't have the space for them).

So, from being considered a nerd during the 80's, am I now officially the coolest bloke on the planet? At least until the viewing figures start dropping like a stone, at which point I'll become a social pariah again?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 20:45, 2 replies)

trying to impress mates...
Hmm... all this talk of BBC computers... I once had a Model B with a speech synthesizer module- I spent about three days perfecting a carefully timed sequence of questions-and-answers which could be kicked off when I pressed a button I'd connected to the underside of the keyboard via some blobby soldering... the idea was I wanted to convince my friends that my Beeb was much better than their Speccies and C64s because I could hold a conversation with my comp. The trigger button was hidden via a long wire and under cushions so it would appear, once the button was pressed, like an evil bond villain I could command the computer to give information. Hours typing carefully calibrated delays and memorising the answer sequence so I wouldn't be out of step with the list of pre-programmed replies.

I don't even think I used it. Just wanted to impress my mates. What a geek.

These days I am not a geek at all. Example- a typical line from a typical day at work-

"The Cirrus configuration and test station's vehicle communication interface polled the parameter identity relating to the torque request limitation variable in the transmission electronic control unit but the bit-timing on the control area network protocol meant the module identity became scrambled in the serial bitstream meaning the prioritisation of device message frames has collapsed into non-heirarchial reporting order. This has resulted in a default limp-home mode which imposes performance limitations on the throttle angle lookup table, malfunction indicator lamp request and diagnostic trouble code logging which we retrieved using the on board diagnostic J1962 protocol scantool."

Except that becomes ' The Cirrus VCAT's VCI fetched the TQL PiD from the TCU but screwed the CAN BTI so the PriOrd tumbled. Limphome with MIL, get DTCs using AMDS'

It's just one 'STAT!!!' away from something on ER.

Oh, I forgot the comics.

Secret Wars, X-Men, New Mutants, Alpha Flight (early roots of me loving most things Canadian perhaps?), 2000AD, Watchmen, Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers- although discounting the Idiots Abroad compendium I bought last year, stopped buying after I was 18.

But that's not so bad as my cartoon/animation collection. I didn't even know about Dragonball Z until I was 27 but now It's an unusual day if I don't watch some or play something with a DBZ connection. Between that and Samurai Jack, Cow'n'Chicken, Dexters' Lab and Family Guy/American Dad I think I must prefer animation to real life.

Oh, and Wallace and Gromit but that's OK, right guys(?)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 20:10, 1 reply)

Marvel
I collect Marvel toy figures. I pretend they are for my daughter to play with and often there are fights between Hulk, Iron Man and Peppa Pig !!!
Sadly my missus can see through this ploy and has banned me bidding on Ebay for 14" figures of Galactus etc.
(MistahG, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 20:01, 1 reply)

Crikey Mr Frodo!
I made this:

strangemaps.wordpress.com/2007/11/18/204-one-ring-to-rule-them-all-mate/

(click on the picture to see it full-size - it looks a lot better).
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 19:56, Reply)

Does anyone else?
Dunno if its just me, but does anyone else not open curtains - or maybe just do it once a year or so for around half hour?

I'm also one of those that is mostly up during a night and sleeps during the day - I'm a student so have little need to get up - except to occasionally make it to the shops before they shut to get more food, caffeine and alcohol.
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 19:56, 4 replies)

We have a wiki for the flat
It hosts to-do lists, and shopping lists. There's only two of us living here.

Somehow this is easier than having paper about (gets covered in stuff), or a whiteboard (rented, so no pins in walls, gahness).

Yes, I'm trying to justify it. But a wiki, for two people?

*reads all the rest of the qotw to try to make herself feel better*
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 19:50, 4 replies)

[I don't understand]
I like to think of it more as comfortable living than nerdy:
I've resized my web browser so I can still read the chat log on FFXI whilst i look on sites such as this with winamp 'always on top' but put to the top of the screen and made small so it fits over the active title bar.
Yes I did go into properties - appearance - advanced, to make sure it was called an active title bar..
[hmmm] maybe this isnt comfortable living, but a little bit anal and over organized really...
(garrygatwick i <3 cheese, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 19:40, Reply)

...
IDDQD

IDKFA

IDSPISPOPD
(Frank., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 19:24, 8 replies)

Gary Gygax set the wheels of my fate in motion.
Even though I never met him, Mr. Gygax has had more influence on my life than just about any other human on the planet.

I can remember the first time I ever saw the box set of D&D with the red dragon on the cover, I was 12 years old. From that point onward, nothing would ever be the same. I became so obsessed with D&D and rpg's in general that I actually flunked out of 6th grade.

I haven't played in18 years or so, but I can credit D&D with:

1. Me becoming an athiest.
2. My intense interest in computers (which is the field I work in now).
3. My love of Monty Python.
4. A very good understanding of probabilities.
5. The huge amount of reading that I did as a kid, to the point of reading university level European history texts when I was 12 or 13 years old.
6. My general outlook on life.

I have been sad all week remembering all this stuff and thinking about all my D&D adventures, it makes me want to climb up in the attic and find all my books and modules a fire up a campaign.
(local_weather rarely posts anything, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 19:21, Reply)