At this very moment...
I have been sat in fount of my computer for thirty hours without sleep, coding.

It is for Uni deadlines though, so not that geeky - damn Computer Scie...... Oh, Hold on.
(Merrep, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 15:16, 5 replies)

you like it when it;s 13:37?
Lightweight: I like it when it's 11:38
(ArghWrath, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 13:40, 3 replies)

angry geek
what makes a geek angry? being made fun of cos they get their rocks off all over their keyboards looking at CPU's and giant cooling fans, and Star Trek..
(brotagaia, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 13:30, Reply)

Computers
are dull. Stories about them, especially when constructed almost exclusively in technical jargonry, are beyond boring. Please, enough...
(jennymnemonic, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 13:19, 20 replies)

Not a nerd
But I have a warm place in my heart for nerds. Which would explain why many of my relationships have had long periods of silence in them, as I don't speak code, nor would I want to.
The last one was the straw that broke the camels back though. Period of silence lasted months. Perhaps he was a coward as well as a geeky nerd? However, I do not believe all nerds are cowards, not at all. Just that one.

And if he is reading this, I sold your Viz Annuals on Ebay and bought gin with proceeds (as you are allergic to it), drank it all and then pissed on a photo of you. I feel much better now.
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Lan parties.
Ah yes, I remember those.

24 hours locked in a dark room with only Quake III, Red Faction, Pizza, Beer and roll-ups for company.

We would even talk to each other using the 'T' key because actually saying something in real life was out of the question.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:58, 3 replies)

Angry geek
What makes a geek angry? I'm sure we're all usually pretty affable types, most of the time. Until we see a programming or grammar error, that is, or in some cases, people see red at the mere sight of a mis-filed CD. But what really gets me, is the number 42. There is a reason for this, as Prak was once told, but he later forgot.

Why is it that people think that Douglas Adams was trying to make a valid philosophical point, or writing jokes in base 13? Or for that matter... Tibetan monks? WHAT?? The true fact of the matter is far simpler... it was something he thought of on the way to work one morning. How do I know? I asked him myself, of course, when I was lucky enough to interview him for Radio 4. However, when I tried to put this on Wikipedia, they bloody deleted it!

Spurned by the Arch-Geeks!

Incidentally the time in question was "Book Club", broadcast 4th January, 2000, presented by Jim Naughty (or however you spell it).
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:42, 6 replies)

None of us are even half way close - Mr and Mrs Cullen FTW
I put myself about on a 5 on the geek scale. I'm a Warhammer painter/player, programmer/physicist etc. etc. which gets me the 5 points, but I am *not* a LARPER or RPGer, trekkie, medieval reenactor etc. (although I think I'd probably like to be) which is why I miss out on 4 of the other available points.

But what is the last point (I hear you ask), to take a fairly big geek all the way up to 100% on the scale?

Breed a dog, make it look nice, give it a massively stupid name, go to Crufts.

I mean FFS, these loonies make all of us on B3ta look like James Bond.

Just thinking about how much money/time they waste on dog bothering make me feel almost justified in the huge amounts of money I spend on toy plastic soldiers and paint.
(netpixie you should reconsider your life choices., Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:32, 4 replies)

Arrrgh there's more of you!
A friend of mine has just won an award for lighting the queen alexandria bridge in Sunderland.

He never shuts up about it.
(allyourbasekris Hotdog, Jumping Frog, Alberquerque, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:22, Reply)

From Zero to Hero
I used to be into Warhammer. It was the painting I loved the most..Dwarves and Orcs.. then they started charging the earth for lead figures.

I was big into the comic books, marvel and DC, with all the superb graphic novels..including stuff like Slaine the Horned God too !

Now I'm 32 and I am still into the graphic novels, and have got addicted like so many poor folk to the totally awesome World of Warcraft.

But that ok, I'm cool with my inner geek..I embrace it. Geek is Good.
I just don't tend to admit it when I'm up on stage singing with the band..coughs..double standard..but nobody wants a Geek on stage to entertain them, they want a Rock God. And so the stage persona takes over.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Take the nerd test
- A true nerd is unable to get a tan
- They can't ride a bike properly
- They joke about prime numbers
- They get all nostalgic about their ZX spectrum when sending a fax at work and hear the bleep bleep noises
- They only know one type of swimming stroke which is a non-official one and it more akin to a 20 yr old dog trying to stay afloat in a pool than anything a 'real human' would do
- Their mum used to write notes to get them off sport at school with excuses like 'Mark is allergic to grass' and 'Penelope is scared of tennis balls'.
- Boy nerds throw like girls and girl nerds throw like someone has stuck 400 000 volts up their arse.
- All nerds have at one stage in their life worn glasses that look like they were made out of the bottom of coke bottles.
- Nerds bruise easily
- Nerds count the strokes during wanking to work out exactly how many calories they burn.
- Nerds keep their star trek duvet sets long into their adult lives.

WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL WE ATE NERDS FOR BREAKFAST.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:15, 4 replies)

words
I found that choosing my own words and putting them in the most potent order wasn't enough, so I became an Editor and now fiddle with other people's
(in-knock-you-us, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:10, 1 reply)

Geek Formula
I have been working on this for seconds and think I can give Geek a value.

(B+W+C) = Geek Value
---------------
1+2S

Where
B= The number of buttons on your calculator (if touch screen use a value of 150) multiplied by the number of "X's" in the model number.
W= The number of Warhammer figures collected multiplied by the number of times you have appeared in heavy metal
C= The number of computers you have owned. 1 point for each computer after 1990 – 3 points for each computer before this date (0.25 of a point for each upgrade)
S= The amount of different women/men you have shagged

I cant claim its accurate so please feel free to add if I have missed anything.

Perhaps when we have a formlua we can all agree on we can play "B3Ta geek top trumps"

EDIT: So far the highest score is 18.62
EDIT: Kaol has posted a score of 208. Legend.
EDIT: Oeb has a scor of 0.0something. But. He was once a bouncer (which is the job equivalent of the gatekeeper of cool)

FINAL EDIT

After many new ideas were put forward, the resident loon and musuko have come up with this as the definitive guide to calculating your Geek value.

(B+W+C+G+L+Wa)/(1+2*(S-Sc))

where B, W and C have already been defined above,
G= number of times Google settles an argument/augments a conversation in a week,
L= number of logins per day,
Wa= number of Warcraft characters,
S= number of sex partners,
Sc= number of potential sex partners who hit the ground running when they learned of your enthusiasm for (insert geeky interest here).
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 11:58, 43 replies)

Inspired by CHCB's mention of mathematicians...
There was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer (all male!). They were placed at one end of a corridor, with a naked woman at the other end. They were given instructions to advance half the distance towards the woman, then half the distance again, and so on.

The mathematician quickly worked out that this would be an asymptotic process, and even after an infinite number of attempts he would never reach the woman, so he declined to participate.

The physicist accepted the mathematician's calculations, but attempted to verify it by means of experiment. After he had taken a few measurements, he plotted them on a graph, found it fitted the theory, announced the same conclusion as the mathematician and gave up.

The engineer looked at the previous two's efforts and deduced that indeed he would never reach the woman, but he would get close enough for all practical purposes!

_{And yes, I'm a physicist... :-(}
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 11:41, 5 replies)

When reading a critical essay ...
for English, I find myself attempting to press control + F. I'm then mortally disappointed when this doesn't give me a nice highlight of all the things I'd find useful.

I've also got a mate who has a dual boot mp3 player, and has worked out how to play doom on it.

On top of this, I look forward to Thursdays so I can read the "best of" qotw.

*sigh only 4 days left now*
(The Magical Mr Q *is now banishing kittens*, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 11:12, Reply)

nerd top trumps
Four days of posting and reading posts confirms that I am in the upper echelons of geekdom. However, the scale is exponential and above me are my friends.

My flatmate is a mathematician. He reads (and writes) complicated textbooks for fun. Other young men stash porn under the bed; his is raised off the ground by piles of hastily scribbled equations.

A few of us tried to play pool once but it devolved into an argument over elastic versus inelastic materials (pool balls versus everything) and someone else swiped the table.

Once, when a crowd of us went out for the evening, I watched as one by one the other mathematicians in our company immediately adopted a game whereby the items they ordered from the menu had to be prime numbers.

Length? Dinner seemed to go on forever.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 11:00, 4 replies)

Despite possessing The Nerd Gene...
...I have - somehow - managed to breed.

This weekend, I took the boy Scaryduck Jr to Games Workshop for the first time ever to buy loads and loads of over-priced Warhammer 40K gear.

I could feel - Dwayne Dibley style - the braces re-appearing on my teeth, and a lime-green tanktop appearing under my anorak.

From father to son. It is done.

My daughter took one look at the flower of England's spotty youth sitting round tables and rolling dice and decided to wait outside for fear of "being contaminated by geek germs". I don't blame her.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 10:49, 2 replies)

I'm off on holiday to America on Wednesday...
How is this relevent to this weeks qotw you ask yourselves. Well, while there I will be meeting up with the biggest nerd on the other side of the Atlantic, our American friend The Resident Loon. Anyone wishing to pass on a hug, a slap on the back, a wedgie, a peck on the cheek, a Vulcan death grip or anything else you can think of then please let me know.

I will be gone for 6 days and if anyone wishes to lament my absence from the boards then please feel free.

*Hand wringing and hair pulling is optional*
( girlinthehole, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 10:39, 15 replies)

This happened over the weekend...
On Saturday morning, I met the original Boba Fett (Jeremy Bulloch), at a signing at Addict in Seven Dials. He was very nice, and signed a shirt for Mr BobFossil, and a poster for me.

Then on Saturday evening, I went to the England/Wales/N. Ireland/Channel Islands premier of "Grindhouse" at the Prince Charles Cinema, and met Edgar Wright, and got him to sign a book for me.

I was the happiest geek in the world that day.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 10:31, Reply)

bit late this week but....
I play D&D tabletop game (dragonlance) every sunday. A campaign thats been running almost 2 years now. I go to a D&D club by the local train station every monday. And a do Live Action Role Play (LARPing) every fortnight.

I live for D&D. I also own vast amount of star trek books, dvds, and various memorabilia. I am a huge Trekkie. I AM A GEEEEEK.

Oh dear ive spilled everything *runs and hides from the torch bearing chavs*
(Serbitar Has a furry shit canon called Whitey., Mon 10 Mar 2008, 9:37, 1 reply)

OCD/Geek . . .
I own every Harry Potter book (and the special editions) and DVD. I waited in line for each book on the day of release (I fit right in with the littlies in capes - we're the same height!)
I have most of the first Star Trek Series novels (books, not the movies!!!) and the complete Red Dwarf, Blackadder and League of Gentlemen on DVD.

I alpabetise my CDs
I arrange my wardrobe by colour and clothing type
I used to tape TV movie themes when I was younger (Hi Davros' Grandad!) - now I get mp3s of the same.
When I'm shopping, I arrange items as I would like them in bags (Legless can testify to this) - fruit with fruit, frozen items together, bread by itself (squished bread is a no-no)
I have a whiteboard on the fridge for shopping lists, a list of things to do on Joe's corkboard in the study, and I carry with me with my own little list of "things to do"
My email signature is a animation of a surgeon chucking things out of a body on an operating table, with "gnwthe seauton" at the bottom - ancient Greek for "know thyself." It used to be te nosce ipsum (my old sig) - Latin for the same.
I spent inordinate hours throughout high school organising a system of notes for studying/exams (and yes, my Harry Potter personality is Hermione before anyone asks)
My Star Wars personality is Yoda (Yay for short people!!!!!!!!!)
One of my favourite games at recesses in primary school was Doctor Who role-playing - I had an ID card and everything (and I was about 9)
My part-time work whilst at Uni was a teacher and at a bookstore (Lots of books - fringe benefits as far as I was concerned)
I started reading in kindergarten


I have a pager, Blackberry and paper diary to take to work.

I am marrying Legless - ubergeek :)

OCD or Geek of the Week? - you decide :)
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Mon 10 Mar 2008, 8:56, 12 replies)

A girlfriend and I kept making Knights of the Old Republic double-entendres and giggling.
"You should raise your Awareness stat to complement my Dexterity."
"I'll get the whips if you start power-levelling your Treat Injury skill"
"That'll give your dark side points."
"Well, I'm only in it for the XP."
"You scoundrel."

In the end, we were laughing so much we didn't have sex. This isn't the nerdy part. The nerdy part is that we both agreed that it was totally worth it.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 5:23, 1 reply)

nerdtastticness of a different nature
I tag & release Monarch butterflies :)
(trumpy use a fan to spread your wind, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 5:03, Reply)

Graham's number
I've just been reading about it. And it's one in the morning. And the ackermann function. And knuth notation.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 1:04, Reply)

Geek
I don’t even see the code anymore; all I see now is blonde, brunette, redhead ...


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 0:00, 3 replies)

Games galore
I have at least 14 different computer platforms I collect and play games on, stretching from the Acorn RiscPC (home to my favourite version of Lemmings, ever) through machines like the Saturn and detouring through the Turbografx-16 until we reach more modern fare like the Dreamcast. All have to be boxed and with their manuals, and have to be in alphabetical order on the shelf.

Same for my vinyl and CD collections - all ordered by artist, then title. This poses a problem for music DVDs (do you sort them by title, as for regular films, or by artist?) but the system works, and I always know where something is. Always.

I've been playing Warhammer 40k again recently and remembering why I always did enjoy it, even if it empties your wallet akin to heavy drug use and even though I cannot paint at all well.
(Vulpine or something, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 23:48, Reply)

Strip poker.
Over MSN
Using the Seven Hand poker MSN game.
Without Webcams.

Case Closed.
(annhialus hasn't had an accident since, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 23:13, Reply)