Travel suggestions from Geneva
Ok, so I'd like to go somewhere for a few days around the end of July from Geneva.

Suggestions?

Details in reply.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:36, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jingle Balls
What is the most annoying jingle on either the tellybox or the radio at the moment or even better... ever?

For mash get fucked.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:22, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Following on fron Vipros
Did you know that no matter where you are in Australia you are never more than 1000 kilometers from the ocean.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:14, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you know....
that en repos, the heart beart of a clam is in the region of 2 per minute?

increasing to 20 per minute when in extreme state of nerous excitement?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:01, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Suggestions, please
Been roped into some fucking awful fancy dress twattery with the Mrs...

Couples have to go in fancy dress which compliments each other.

I suggested I dress up as St. George, and she wouldn't have to get a costume as she'd be the dragon. (She was not amused).

Any ideas on a great fancy dress costume double act that requires fuck all effort?

I'm only going for the free booze...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 12:42, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OK B3tans
Come up and see me, make me smile!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 12:11, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8026136.stm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:55, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Official advice re: Swine flu
in replies
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:22, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What we've got here is
a failure to communicate.

Some men you just can't reach.

So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:09, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Another Bert post
but this time, it's not about me. I feel sorry for Kaol and TGB, they've obviously gotten a bit upset about me overshadowing Off Topic in my particularly cunty and unpleasant manner.

So internet acquaintances, let's discuss how much we love them, and how fantastic the two of them are. What's your favourite Kaol or TGB post?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:07, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OK folks
I go away for an hour or so and the world breaks down into name calling.

OT has a reputation for being funny, informative, and fluffeh. It's always fun to read, even though some people think it's boring!

Bert, step away from the keyboard and calm down!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:35, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OT just gets better and better
that is all.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:33, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've decided to promote myself to 'OT Nazi', as we don't have any
THREAD DELETING CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!

That is all.

/demote
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:25, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Eh?
Where'd the post go?

If Kaol and TGB would like to continue showing their appreciation for my exquisite and excellent posts, please do so here.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:24, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think this is so important that it rates a new thread
Shocking news

I was just about to try and get you all to click on a link that would take you to ilovehorses only to find that the site no longer exists!

www.gopetition.com/petitions/i-love-horses.html?utm_medium=RSS

- Shocked and appalled of Exeter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:31, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not that I'm particularly superstitious,
But a lot of things seem to be telling me not to college today.

First of all, I missed the bus. Not to unusual an occurrence on its own.

So, I walk home, and my mum agrees to give a lift in. We drop my sister off a school first, and as she opens the passenger door... it falls off.

Now, we manage to somehow lock it back on, but a car lock and half a hinge isn't going to keep a bloody great door in place for a half hours drive.

We return home, to swop cars as mum has just gotten a newer one off my aunt, and we are in the process of selling the old one.

Five minutes into the journey, a light starts flashing, and something starts juddering. Not good. We turn back, and swift consultation of the manual tells us this light means 'engine failure' we are advised to take to a Fiat dealership as soon as possible' Oh dear.

Now I'm sat at home, waiting either for the next bus to college, or my eldery great aunt to give me lift, but, given all the signs, what say I call it a day and go back to bed before something explodes?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:19, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What the fudge?
You people voted me as more annoying than JMG?

I don't know whether to be flattered or offended.

In other news: Kaol touches kids
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:02, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today's question
Should I stay or should I go?

You see, there are several issues with this, mainly:

If I go there will be trouble and if I stay it will be double.

so, basically, you gotta let me know...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 8:21, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OH NOES! I'M GOING TO DIE!!
the county I live in is surrounding by other counties where people have been diagnosed with swine flu

But my god, those pork chops I had for dinner were good.

Goodbye, sweet world........

Ok, I'm not worried about dying, but maybe I'll grab some tamiflu
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 6:25, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And the shoe has dropped.
As of this coming Tuesday I'm laid off- or as you lot say, made redundant.

Or as we say over here, fucked royally without lube.

Shit.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 21:31, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WELL! If any of you fruit salads are going to pick on me when you think I'm not looking. I suggest you say it to my face!
..and by "face", I quite clearly mean The JMG Fan Club.
No fat chicks.


If you're going to fall out with me in this thread, Gaz them to me on my other account "Mykeyboy", as I'm switching over, now.
Cheers.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 16:47, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What get's your juices flowing?
What do you love?
What's your passion?
What can you talk about all night, animatedly, about?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 16:26, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Inspired by BGB, one for the ladies...
Who would you most like to frot?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 15:39, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who's more annoying
Bert or JMG?

On a per-post basis, obviously.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:30, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If pigs could lay eggs,
we wouldn't need any other animals.

(Although I'm not sure how good pig cheese would taste - probably a little sow-er. Sorry.)

What would you like to cross breed and why?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:38, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bert's obviously
been annoying people on CraigsList as well
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:20, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good news for self-diagnosers!
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8020837.stm
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 12:13, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

£1200 for a phone!
Motorola are selling a phone for £1200, what have you bought that was a ridiculous waste of money?
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 11:58, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On the Swine Flu theme
Imagine my joy when I was informed yesterday that I'd won all all expenses paid holiday.

Imagine, then, my realisation that the competition I had entered was for a two week holiday in Mexico. So I can't go.

You could say... I'm pig sick!



Proffers spanging pan for anyone who wants it
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 11:37, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)