Can I tap into the vast wealth of IT knowledge...
Recently a colleague had a virus that has messed up all the settings (or I suppose the fixing of said virus changed all the settings).

Anyway we have a template document in Excell that when everyone else types in (e.g.) 14/08/08 it will autoformat to 14th August 2008 but when she writes that it autoformats to 2014 August 08.

I always though that Excell's formatting was sheet dependent as there isn't a normal template but is there a way to tell it to always format dates the same way?

Any and all help appreciated :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 9:56, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anyone have experience with UCAS clearing?
I just found out I didn't get into Uni and now have to go through clearing. Anyone know what it's like?
I'm shitting myself.
( the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 7:54, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Eight Days Till Home Time
Good morning, and a very happy penultimate-day-of-the-working-week to you all!

Was thinking last night, what's my greatest wish? Getting through the day seems to work for me - nothing more, nothing less.

Ahem. Composure, Ed, composure.


(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 6:53, 200 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Day Gone to Ratshit
Just been informed that not only am I out of a job (again) but I've been blacklisted throughout the industry due to one weasel-like twat of the first order so I'm terminally fucked.

Please someone say they had a nice day and I'll put the Beretta down.

I'm a nice bloke - why does this shit keep happening to me?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 22:04, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anyone know how I can find something that appears to have been deleted on my laptop?
I seem to remember reading somewhere that *everything* is recoverable on a laptop (or PC for that matter) if you just know how to look for it.

I downloaded a video, started watching it last week and got distracted by something else...went to look again today and it's gone...I was 'tidying' up my download folder and putting stuff over onto external HD and now it's gone
:(

Any suggestions?


Erm...useful suggestions that is, ones that might help me find this file again.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 21:41, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Love, Actually
So I've been wondering for a while now: Is 'Love, Actually' the smuggest film there has ever been?
(Stop Bloody Antivirus Pro 2009, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 19:47, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I TOTALLY FUCKED A HORSE.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 19:46, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I give up
on the current QOTW- it keeps giving me the jibblies.

Even my own stories do it.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 19:15, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What would you take?
Evening All

Mr Bin just asked what three things would you take on Ready Steady Cook to really piss them off?

Alaphabites, Crispy Pancakes and Potato Waffles was my choice, how about you?


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 18:49, 152 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Relaxing break? Debateable...
Well, we returned from a very pleasant Golden Wedding bash in Leek. Whilst the bash was good, the experiences book-ending it were a bit more fraught.

We left on Sunday at 1:30 pm – a bit later than I would have liked, but still on course for getting there by 6. Dinner was to be at 7, so time for a quick shower and change and a pint at the bar.

Unfortunately the Alston Pass, M6 and weather did their collective bits to conspire against us. Diversion at the end of the Pass meant joining the M6 after a bit of a mystery ride through places I’d never heard of. No matter, it took about 20 minutes, not too bad, and still on course to arrive before 7. Ah well, maybe I’ll forgo the shower, and just get changed and have a pint in the bar instead.

About an hour on the M6 and the heavens opened, resulting in a 40mph crawl for about 20 minutes. Never mind, we can make some time up by disobeying the speed limit when it fairs up. Sun comes out, foot goes down. Vroooooooooom! Wahey, this is better, not much traffic, nice clear motorway… We’re making good progress. Still might not have time for a shower, but hey…

What’s this? A line of traffic? Arse. Next hour is spent moving at two miles a fortnight in what seems to be a 5 mile tail back. Has there been an accident or something? No, it transpires that it’s caused by about half a mile of one lane being closed for no readily apparent reason.

Cock. We are going to be late now, but we should be there on the dot of 7 after we hit junction 17. Check in, dump stuff, get changed, and away to dinner.

Oh noes – we’re 10 minutes from our destination and the road we need to take is closed and we need to take a diversion. Through Buxton. On twisty turny roads where the average speed is about 35mph. For 20 miles. Fuck. Not only are we going to be late, we’re probably going to miss the starter at this rate.

7:50 pm we roll into the car park. At 8:10 we arrive for dinner. Thank fuck they’ve kept our main courses warm.

Next two days, lovely time had by all, and the whirlpool bath in our room makes it that bit decadent. Trip home is uneventful, but we get home to find a pungent smell of gas in the living room. A quick check with the builders confirms it’s nothing to worry about, but to be on the safe side we decide to sleep at Tourette’s folks for the night. Means I have to go to work in jeans (not wanting to go back and get a suit just in case a spark from the light switch sends the place up in flames), but the Agency will have to put up with it for one day.

Today the gas has been turned off and the smell has gone. However, in the meantime the council has been round to turn the water off in the flat below on the basis that the previous occupant is dead. Fair enough, except the mongtastic workers have shut our water off as well in the process. So we’re camping out again tonight, although it is safe to go round later and collect some clothes.

The not getting the promotion I was in for just seals it really, although I’m not really arsed about that. I’ll enjoy my current job a lot more, and that’s what counts.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:53, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

letting agents
I am royally bored of looking for a new flat, does anyone know of any good sites for London lettings?

gumtree is annoying me today
(Starzy had a headache on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:34, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who has met who?
What with all the bashes that have gone on, I was wondering who has met who.
No real reason other than that.
My list:

ancrenne
beckyjsbx
madame marlboro
enzyme
clendrix
crackhouse
Burt Sexmonkey
Althegeordie
Bill
Vipros
Wookiee
Axai
Devil In Tights
Wanderlust
Maladicta
Grandmasterfluffles
Davros' Grandad
Grove
Rich T
Spakka
Gayer

(Sorry if I missed you off the list...)
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:29, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wasps
I'm terrified, proper panick attack run away and hide afraid. But my office gets affy hot and my workchums don't really like the idea of being sealed in to save me from their evil plots.
Anyone got a natural repellant, SFW that I could have, say at my desk?
Failing that, don't suppose anyone is willing to come over and stand by my desk all day and shoo them away (theres a nest of some sort outside, and I'm the poor bugger sitting at the window!)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:56, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

a car question
some of you may remember that a couple of weeks ago, a nice kind person* tried to burn my car by filling the fuel line full of loo paper and setting light to it. I did big eyes at my colleague and he kindly retrieved some of said loo roll, but I think there must be still some lodged in there because it's been a bitch to get petrol in the damn thing ever since.

is it wise to try and remove the blockage myself? I wouldn't use a hoover - I'm not that stupid... or do I have to bite the bullet and take it to a garage? (I'm broke, like ancrenne in her shower post).

Actually, ancrenne, if you pull the shower off the wall, I could use the hosey bit to poke about in my fuel tank, and any resulting explosions would heat the water sufficiently for you to have a nice hot shower!

Yay!

Seriously though - any ideas?

Muchas gracias!

*stupid twunt-faced arsehead mctwat
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:07, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Had to share -
A very good friend of mine (my son's godfather) tends to err on the side of 'queen' when the mood takes him. In fact he can be as camp as a row of pink tents. Bear with me this is kinda relevant as is it part of what makes him who he is.

Last weekend he was with his partner sitting outside a pub awaiting the arrival of another friend of theirs(female). Tom spies somebody approaching their table and looks up directly in to the sun - all he can see is that this person is wearing a pink trouser suit and a wide-brimmed pink hat (they are attending a family christening so such attire is possible). Tom, quite natuarally, assumes (still somewhat blinded by the sun) that this is their friend and decides to ask; "fuck me - what the fuck are you wearing?"



"I only wanted a light" replied the complete stranger....
(conanow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:20, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Just gave two neds a row
for smoking on the bus . Thing is, I'm a smoker , I love it , it's my second favourite thing to do with my hands when I'm bored . Neds took it well, didn't produce knives and only called me a twunt when they were getting off . Am I alone in my double standards ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:41, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

just thought I'd say
Bloody good question this week

*snigger*

I've clicked I like this more times this week than in the past month put together
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:48, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wednesday ... ah, day of riddles
Nearly the weekend. And nine days to go on my chuff-chart until I come home. W00t!



Famous mathematician. See if you can work out who he is ... (note: he's not me - he's orders of magnitude more intelligent that yours truly).

A shiny £1 coin (or HK$20 note) to the first person who guesses it right (winner to collect at Heathrow airport, 5am August 23rd 2008)


(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 5:18, 171 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Evening!


I'm not sure that ^^ will work...

However, pull up a chair, grab a glass of wine and tell me all about your day.

I have just finished the first draft of a new short story so w00t for me!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 17:51, 173 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Moan time
My colleague requested I send down from my office up here in Scotland a roll of stickers with an awards logo on them. She requested I send them to "Wiltshire" which, being in the throws of lots of hard work on a Monday morning I assumed she meant her office in Stokenchurch.

Turned out she meant a 3rd party that I'd never heard of who happen to be based in Wiltshire. Thanks for that.

Anyway she received the rolls and phoned me up for a smarmy beatdown which included such up-your-own-arse bullshit as "Do you remember that conversation we had yesterday" and "I specifically asked you to". Throw in a few office classics such as "moving forward" and "I always keep a notepad next to me" oh jesus she pisses me off. ITS A SMALL ROLL OF NON-ESSENTIAL STICKERS THAT HAVE BEEN DELATED TO THEIR INTENDED TARGET BY 24 HOURS.

But this over-the-phone arse-banditry wasn't enough. No, 6 hours later she decided to send an e-mail to everyone in the office here (including my boss) the entire length of shenanigans detailing exactly where I went wrong with this business critical emergency.

Looks heres a quote from it:
"When I ask you to do something, please, please listen and take note, as we cannot afford to get these simple tasks wrong."

How can people live with themselves being such complete offensive twats. Why can't the conversation go:

"Hi TDW.... Um you know those stickers you were supposed to send to Wiltshire/"

"YYyyyyesss??"

"Erm.. you sent them here you complete twat!"

"Oh.. Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it I'll send it on myself tomorrow.."

"Ok! Bye!!"
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:33, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Large coffees
I'm posting this from the local Costa again, as is my want (wont. Bloody pedants ;) ), and seeing as my day has so far been as interesting as a new 11th Sept conspiracy theory, I thought I'd order myself a large coffee instead of the usual tall thin "medium" glass. After all, it's only an extra 30p or so...

My God. How big is a large cup of coffee? I'm sure I've seen paddling pools that are less wide and deep. I'm not sure the woman behind the counter didn't mumble some kind of warning about caffeine poisoning before she slid the bucket of latte towards me, before calling her cohorts over to laugh at me as I struggled to carry the bloody thing across the room.

Apologies in advance for any (more) relentless rubbish I end up posting tonight when I'm still awake at 5am!

Btw, I'm secretly overjoyed at the size of it, and that's a sentence I don't get to say very often lol
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Tue 12 Aug 2008, 14:52, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Annoying songs to get stuck in your head pt5
On asking my boss if he wanted a cuppa he replied "I'll have a T please Bob" thus getting the countdown Blockbusters (thanks PJM) theme in my head.

Oh and this was at 9am so almost six hours of it *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 14:48, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

eeeeeeeeep
my Qotw story made the newsletter!

im childishly happy to have obtained such a feat!

Anything happened lately to make you smile like a loon?

(not including drugs or getting a great blowjob gentlemen obviously!)
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 14:37, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmm.
Too much b3ta, I think.

I've just downloaded the programme of a conference to which I'll be going in September. There's a speaker called Bert Molewijk there.

I read his name as "Bert Monkeysex".
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 12:43, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Happy Tuesday ... ten days until I come home! w00t!
Today's Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters B, T and A and the number 3.



"Happy Birthday ancrenne!"

PS: I've added my childhood hero to todays pictures (no, not Bez). Move the mouse over him to read Ed's secret message!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 6:57, 214 replies, latest was 16 years ago)