"Tis a couple days early
but as this is my favorite holiday of the year....Happy Halloween!

Have some.....


( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 30 Oct 2008, 1:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As promised
The first exciting instalment has arrived.
Sit back and enjoy the weekly trip through the paranormal that is:


( Cawl, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 0:52, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Driving home
I followed a red VW Beetle that had a bumper sticker that said "There's no place like 198.120.1.1" and had a license plate that read "FF0000".

I giggled at the sheer geekery of this, the realized that knowing the significance of these made me as much of a geek as the driver.

So the question is, did I pass a test or fail at life?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 22:39, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Evening
So a couple of BBC people have been suspended.
So what?
So the economy is in panic-causing turmoil.
So fuckin' what?

We've got the Off Topic, so sod everything else.

( Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:51, 185 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Careers Advice
Any ideas what you can do with an English Literature degree, besides Teaching, Journalism and all the jokes about Starbucks/McDonald's/Tesco/etc?

Basically, LittleSisterCrow is now in her final year at uni (still can't believe she's grown up that quickly...) and is apparently off to see the Careers Advisor next week. Do any QotWers have any more interesting suggestions than she's likely to get from the Careers Office?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:28, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

National Novel Writing Month
www.nanowrimo.org/

I don't know if any of youse chaps are aware of this, but November is National Novel Writing Month! The idea is to register with the above website and produce 50,000 words between November the first and thirtieth.

The idea isn't to create a polished piece, just to get writing and increase your volume of work. I thought some people here might be interested.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:20, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ayup the Tigers!
Alright, I'm getting a little excited because we play Chelsea today. I'm actually stunned at how well Hull have done in the Premier League.

*dons Hull City shirt for work*
*crosses fingers*

Sorry.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:39, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ross and Brand suspended by the BBC
I think the BBC have got this one wrong. If it was such a bad thing, why didn't they suspend both guys when the original two complaints came in?

I'm not defending what was said because, even though I CAN see the humours in it, it's still in poor taste. i just think that the BBC have done this more as a token gesture to get themselves out me the bad press.

Brand is well known for talking about his love life. Ross is quite happy to talk aboutu his willy on tv. Why did they think they'd get anything blame on the radio.

Also, as an aside, isn't a suspension in there cases a little like a said holiday? Assuming that the BBC won't want to lose Ross, and therefore have to side with both presenters...
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:21, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just tried that salvia stuff,
you know the hallucinegenic sp? one

it was very odd

but the b3ta page layout is not fun to look at when its made of lots of little mes telling me to fall over because it will be much nicer down there.

I did not want to fall over, if i fell over there would be more little mes made form my falling , and that wouldn't be fun

but i don't see what the big fuss is about really, want to try acid now
(The Ear-Trumpet Addicting is NOT a word., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:13, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll ask here
Does anyone know which department I send VTCT NV8 forms off to? Some people are saying Benita, some are saying Chris. And nobody here in the office knows. Do the b3tans know?
(GONEism, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:47, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can anyone help me? Please??
i fink i dun a stoopid fing...

bought an 80GB Lacie external hard-drive yesterday for £30 cos i needed to free up a bit of hard-drive space on my G4 Powerbook.

Dragged and dropped my iTunes music file into the external drive, waited for the 42GB of music to be copied then...wait for it...here comes the stoopid bit...shifted the original files into the trash, emptied the trash and re-started my laptop (after checking the file copying had been succesful i must add!) allowing filevault to recover all that lovely hard-drive space.

and guess what?

yup

iTunes doesn't love me anymore and can't find the files so it looks (to me) like i will need to sort this out track-by-track.

is there another way?

and yes, i know i am!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:37, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Getting CDs made and booklets printed etc.
In the not too distant future, my band will be hitting the recording studio and getting some decent stuff recorded and for sale.

Can anyone recommend a decent service where we can get the CDs made and printed, and covers, booklets etc. made as well?

Cheers
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:41, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The number 15 bus runs on the hour
Yet TWO turned up at once this morning!

How mad is that?!
(GONEism, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:50, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A vote...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7696709.stm

Who votes that they should never leave prison, or at least serve their minimum sentences, without fucking whinging about it?

God, I could not think any lower of this scum, I wouldn't piss on them if they were burning.

EDIT: "Lawyers for the gang have argued their sentences were too long taking into account their ages" - With any luck, if that's the basis of their appeal, the judge will tell them to fuck right off. They were old enough to kill, that's old enough to be treated like a murderer.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:58, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll just put this here

( wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 7:50, 294 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning and holy f**k its cold!
Even down here on the Costa Del Sol, Spain, the car was saying 9C this morning. Thats not taking in the wind chill. Has the sun died and no one told us?

Anyone woke up to a nice frosty or even snowy morning? Sometimes I miss those.
(Miggyman, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 7:20, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

lol






( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 2:08, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A bit late for QOTW
And I'm not sure if it fits into Food Sabotage or Customers from Hell.

I just had to share.
(Que?, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 1:29, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Can I just say..
Cock?

No?

Oh well...
( JockyMcSporan has a pointy head but no pointy chin..., Tue 28 Oct 2008, 21:32, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Brand 'Affair'
I'm a subscriber the Brand podcast. It's a very funny, but rather 'on edge' programme. However...

1. It was Ross' idea to keep phoning up. Why isn't he getting grief?
2. Yes, it is an offence to make prank phonecalls - so why did the Beeb broadcast them?
3. 10,000 people phoned in about the calls. How many of them actually listened to the podcast?
4. Whilst the Prime Minister sees the finanicial markets collapse around his ears, he decides to comment instead on a rather trivial comedy programme.
5. Sachs actually gave his permission to play the recordings before the broadcast when contacted by the show's producer.

Am I the only one seeing the hypocrisy and parallels with the BrassEye furore??? Am I the only one who thinks that it's been a little bit blown out of proportion?

Edit:- Sorry, didn't read down. But my points are still valid. Moving on...
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 18:27, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's have a nice Tuesday evening thread...

( thealternativefact, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 17:53, 177 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

how
many fliss's does it take to change a lightbulb?

1,002...
1 to hold the bulb in place
1000 to lift the house and rotate it
1 to run upto her room complaining its 'doin her head in'

Why did Fliss cross the road?

cos the chicken was 'doin her head in'
(Lord Chode, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 17:40, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Something I've always been curious about..
..but didn't want to offend by asking.

How do blind people dream? I'm assuming I'm with the majority in that I dream of people, places and events in colour, sound and general imagery based of things I've actually seen. If a blind person (assuming they were blind from birth) has never seen these things, what do they dream of? Do they dream in colour and imagery created entirely by their imagination or do they just dream in sounds and, depending on their sight capabilities, rough shapes of light and shadow?

My boyfriend disagrees with me on this point, but I don't think you can entirely imagine something out of nothing without having seen some basis of that thing, like for example I can imagine what a Griffin would look like because I've seen an eagle and a lion, but I've never actually seen a Griffin, if you get what I mean.

I didn't want to seem like a tard by asking a blind person and have them be horribly offended by my ignorance.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 16:39, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

News again...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7695500.stm

At what point did this guy decide "I know, I'll kill people, because they've hurt animals".

Fucking idiot.

What I wonder is, let's say that a treatment for a serious illness was tested on animals, and was proven to have worked, would he still reject it, and die to prove a point?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 16:21, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This could go horribly wrong
I'm going back to work tomorrow and should be starting on lithium in about 2 weeks time and as such I feel it's time for some sort of symbolic gesture to help me feel as though things are changing and I'm moving forward.

I'm going to have a shave...with a razor...for the first time in over 2 years. I expect lots of swearing and bleeding.

Photos will be in the replies.
( Captain V, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:48, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just read this on the BBC news page re: Kerry Katona
a quote from Fern Britton's apology to her for recent stuff: "We are just concerned for you because you're bubbly, you're funny, you're beautiful, you're quick-witted - all of those things, and we can't bear to see you not looking the Kerry we know."

funny?
beautiful?
quick-witted?

Fern Britton must have been laughing her arse off when she wrote/said that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:33, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Signing-on
As I was wise enough to quit my job and have since been unable to get a new one, possibly owing to my lacklustre application technique coupled with the current economic climate. I have made a claim for job seekers allowance, just in case I don’t win the lotto and things don’t magically work out. This is my first time ever applying for benefit and I have no real idea about how the system works. I am not sure how eligible I am for any benefit (I quit) and I have some savings. I have an appointment to go in this week and I need to bring copies of my bank statements (current and savings). What happens? How much money is ok to have in the bank? It is enough that I am not terribly worried about ending up on the street, just yet anyway. Any advice?
*EDIT* am in the UK
(LittleRock is planning her next meal, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:46, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Heroics of Russell & Jonathon, Der Der Derrrr
Right, I'm ill for the first time in ages, and boy, I forgot how painstakingly dreadful day time tv is. In between cups off tea, wanking over porn hub and laughing at peoples misfortunes on Jeremy Kyle I have stumbled across a program called loose women??

What the fuck is this all about? I got quite excited when I heard the title of the program but the only thing loose about these women is the flesh hanging from their chins and lady bits. What an horrible bunch of failed tv actors, singers and journalists this sorry bunch are. I feel like revoking my tv license to be honest.

Anyway, at present they are discussing the Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross saga and the fact that cockney tight trousers left derogative comments on faulty towers star andrew sachs voicemail. These bitches are quite frankly outraged and are calling for russell and jonathons balls to be hung out to dry.

My question is, is it ok to take the piss out of anyone, or anything in order to gain comedic affect???

personally, i find it personally acceptable to mock, parody and satirise, religion, disability, race, colour, age, sex etc etc in order to gain a laugh.

Views please
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:49, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)