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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'll just put this here

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 7:50, 294 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Morning Lusty
It's a bit chilly this morning.

Thought I'd be clever last night by garaging my car, but when I came to it this morning the lock on the garage was frozen solid. Grrrr.

Thank god for the lighter I had in my kitchen.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:07, Reply)
morning Ducky
It was freezing this morning. It took a lot of effort to get out of bed and drag myself to work. I think I've made the wrong choice.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:08, Reply)
hello al
I'm jealous! We got that rubbish not really snow that doesn't settle and is pointless and bluegh it's more like rain snow.

I want real snow!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:11, Reply)
Mr Nong folks!
The snow, it's melting in the sunshine :( no chance one of my drivers in particular is going to slide sideways into an oncoming 45-tonne truck. Shame.

I have spaghetti and meatballs for brunch!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:14, Reply)
There's still plenty of settled snow here in the deepest Midlands
Once I'd eventually got my car out of the garage, I pressed the button that made the magical 'DSC Off' message flash up on the dash.

Lots of snowy tail-out sideways roundabout action. :)

And to think I wonder why my tyres only last 5,000 miles...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:16, Reply)
My mate
used to do that in his age-old Capri round and round the Tesco roundabout here. Good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:18, Reply)
A good morning to you all
It's a tad chilly here too, but it's just frost. No snow. :(

It's supposed to snow in Scotland, not the south of England. What's that all about?

*huffs*

Not that I particularly like the cold weather, but looking at snow's quite nice
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:20, Reply)
The best snow I've ever seen in London
was a few years ago. I was working by the tower of London and had to be at work at 7.30am so it was still pretty quiet. Seeing the sun rise by Tower Bridge whilst everything was caked in lovely fluffeh whiteness made going into work that day worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:25, Reply)
@Lusty
Did London grind to a halt that day like it usually does when it snows?

It always amuses me to see on the news an inch of snow causing the whole city to stop! I've never not made it to work because of snow, although I suppose the traffic density's much lower up here so the potential for problems is less.

But I still get a chuckle.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:31, Reply)
K2k6
I'm pretty sure there was a certain degree of carnage.
It is insane that everything goes mental after a little bit of snow here, but we're not used to it and so we never seem to be prepared. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that the underground is so over crowded anyway that if one or two trains are late on a line then the rest all go to pot!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:34, Reply)
we hardly ever get snow :-(
it just gets fucking cold and wet instead

damn living by the coast

how are we all this morning?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:37, Reply)
To be honest
it doesn't snow much here either. Not any more. We're lucky if there are two decent snowfalls a year now. And they're usually gone in a day or two.

But those of us who are old enough to remember proper winters *coughs* at least have an idea of how to drive in the slippery stuff, so the roads don't tend to be blocked with people having accidents.

Although I do remember once driving home early because of a heavy snowfall and seeing a bin lorry pulling a bus out of a hedge, which was quite fun.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:42, Reply)
Morning all
I had to get in the passenger side of my car and kick my driver door open because it was frozen shut!

The bash last night was very merry, once again, I'll go by my original theory - everyone from QOTW is pretty damn awesome.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:43, Reply)
@himjim
A little silicone grease on your door seals will stop that from happening. And squirt some WD40 in your locks (if you have a car with a key) to stop the water from getting in and freezing them up.

Today's winter motoring tips were brought to you by K2k6
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:46, Reply)
Good morning all.
@himjim - your are correct in your assertion that everyone from here is fab. It's rather spooky really.


Question. Why can't my boss have the forethought to put the bloody heating on in my office when he gets here so that my office is all toasty and warm for my arrival?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:47, Reply)
@k2k6
When we last had a heavy snowfall around here a couple of years ago, a team of us was dispatched onto the local roads each armed with a LR Disco to rescue stranded cars.

For some reason, I got the greatest amusement hauling a stranded Warwickshire Police Merc ML out of a hedge, and a couple of Highways Agency Isuzu Troopers. Even the so-called professionals can't get it right.

Edit: Last night was all the awesome. I even got a beardy kiss.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:47, Reply)
Ducky
You got a beardy kiss?

From who?

*jealouses*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:54, Reply)
Hmmm
*smugs*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Morning All
I'm still in my dressing gown!

Sorry I haven't been about much lately. I've got Civilisation 4 and now have a slight addiction.

How are we all?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)
@Mrs Bin
I'm assuming that's a computer game?

I've never been able to get into gaming. It just doesn't float my boat.

*is old*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:00, Reply)
I don't play games often
but when I do I get horribly addicted.

My last big love was Zelda Phantom Hourglass.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:02, Reply)
Morning folks
Just sticking my head in briefly as loads to do.

Did have an existential dilemma last night in bed.

I thought, "Am I human? Or am I dancing?"

*ponders*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:03, Reply)
himjim
Did you and ducky get all kissy?

Oh my. It's probably too early for me to be thinking about beardy action!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:03, Reply)
I'm still horribly
addicted to Call of Duty 4 :(

The one before that was The Twin Snakes on GC. I did everything in that.

Lusty, my beard is approaching critical mass. I should take a photo.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:07, Reply)
*pushes Jim over*
He was kissing everyone lusty! Being a beardwhore
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:08, Reply)
I went for a run
And the cold broke my lungs in twain.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:08, Reply)
*punches in the arm*
Watch it missy, or I'll run you over with my Micra...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:09, Reply)
morning TGB
That's fine with me, beardwhores are my favourite kind of whores.

EDIT: Stop flirting you two!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:09, Reply)
Bath time
laters!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:10, Reply)
*shocked*
*steals jim's hat and beats him with it*

You'd wouldn't get the micra going fast enough to do any real damage :p

Hey MissB *waves*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:13, Reply)
'ning all
Good news: I'm not needed in court today.

Bad news: I wasn't called at all to tell me this, so I was in work until 9 last night getting stuff sorted in case I did have to go. A little courtesy call would have saved me a lot of hassle.

Good news: I finished both my cases last night!

Bad news: I come in to find a new case, with 'URGENT' written all over it, sat waiting for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:13, Reply)
Anyone watch the programme about the exploding whale last night?
Not as interesting as I thought it would be.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Lab
Surely the bad news is that because you were at work getting stuff sorted last night, you missed out on the beardy action?
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Well Lab
that's what you get for not coming out and seeing us. :p

*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Rubberduck
Yes, that is the primary bad thing, that I was in work rather than in the pub with you guys *cries*

*hugs TGB* Morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:18, Reply)
@Wanderlust
I've just read an interview with Sean Bean in NOW magazine.

*smugs*


He likes gardening. Who knew?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:24, Reply)
@BGB
Did the interview say if he likes to garden with no shirt on, because he gets all hot and sweaty and covered in dirt?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:28, Reply)
Ahem...
www.b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post289337

Clickums pls if you like it :)

/pimp
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
@Wanderlust
Nope, but he did say he would have liked to have been a welder, which we all know is a hot and sweaty job thus requiring the removal of any clothing above the waist.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)
Morning all
I've yet to look outside today, but I'm hoping it's freezing cold and dry. It will make my day if it is.

All well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)
*depresseds*
On reed.com at the beginning of the year there were an average of maybe 7 applications per job. Now some of them have over 70!!! *cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)
oh dear.
I seem to have come over (teehee) all funny.

I might have to go and have a cup of tea to calm myself down.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)
No3L
I reckon your question stands a good chance of being picked.

It's so cold in my office I've had to turn the air con from cool to heat! shocking!

unfortunately, now we will end up all being choked to death by stuffiness because the air con is fucking shite.....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:41, Reply)
Hope so
Struck a chord with me at least. I kinda wandered off into a daydream when the snow came last night :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)
I remember....
Back in about 1995, we had about 3 feet of snow, which was amazing. The schools got closed for a week, you couldn't use any cars but 4x4s, and I sank in the snow at one point when walking home.

Ah, the memories...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:46, Reply)
My boss threw
a snowball at me on the way out of the office yesterday :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)
I've got a few good tales of sledging down Hay Tor on Dartmoor
will save them in case it gets picked though

I remember once standing waiting for the school bus in the snow, with a couple of other guys

we were stood there for about 20 minutes with the snow piling up on our heads and shoulders until we realised the bus wasn't coming.

My damn mother had a 4x4 at the time so we got taken to school in that :-(
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:49, Reply)
hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahha
the QOTW being picked from a suggestion

*ruffles Vipros' hair*

Awww so naïve.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)
I was wondering...
There seems to be this Freddy Woo character who keeps having his suggestions picked. Who is Freddy Woo?

Is this just another name for the b3ta overlords?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:55, Reply)
Morning everybody
No snow here :( but I do have an imperial ton of snow stories should it get picked!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:55, Reply)
Well
Mr_Newton got his picked from a suggestion...

...maybe that's why I don't like him very much.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:57, Reply)
@Dok Minge
An imperial ton is less than a metric tonne though.

(Edit - actually, it's not, if you use the 'long ton'. Sorry)

But it is much less than a metric fucktonne.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:58, Reply)
*glares at TGB*
it's happened before :-P

the sky is clear and the sun is shining here now

just had a surf report through though, and it's going to be flat for some time :-(

k2k6: actually an imperial ton is slightly more than a metric tonne. a short ton is slightly less
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)
*sees glare*
*blows Vipros kisses*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:00, Reply)
*blushes*
*acts coy*

err...I mean

*does manly things*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)
OK
Then lets have am imperial long fuck ton.

That should be MAHOOOOOOSIVE.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Morning All
*blows kiss to TGB*
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Mr Nong to you all!
I was up 'til half two last night, creating the exciting first instalment of
Kaol Black - Cryptozoological Special Investigator

But you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Morning Kaol
But I want to see it now!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Kaol
But tomorrow is too far away, I need it now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)
Dok
Is a helecopter better or worse than a helicopter?

Kaol you're mean.
*waves at edmund*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)
Morning one and all
Mourn with me, I left the hat that I have had for 8 years (and has kept me warm in winter holidays the world over, including a memorable night in a Tallin bar where I have photos of 46 different Estonians wearing it) on the train this morning.

I have sads now.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Morning scarpe
Oh, that's bad luck. :(

Still, at least you have the photos.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:13, Reply)
Well fine...
A special sneak preview for you lovely people :p


(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)
Kaol
Oooo! I'm even more intrigued now!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)
*hugs Scarpe*
*blows bugle*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)
@k2
Yeah, that's true.

And I am amazed it lasted 8 years really, given that I get through two phones a year because of leaving them places, so...
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Did TGB...
...just blow my bugle?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Kaol
I'm looking forward to it!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:17, Reply)
Yes Scarpe
I thought it would help you get over the loss of your hat.

*shakes her tic tacs at scarpe as well and runs off*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)
This looks like
a story worth waiting for.

Perhaps the BBC may be interested.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)
*grins*
As I said, the first strip will be put up late tonight/early tomorrow.
The first storyline is called "Rabbits".

EDIT: The BBC can fuck off. If they get in a crying-shit-storm over a couple of rubbish prank phonecalls, they're not ready for my awesomeness.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)
*crawls in*
morning all.

how are we this frosty morn?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:21, Reply)
I am confused now, Kaol
Rabbits and cryptozoological don't really belong in the same sentence!

I'm assuming it must either be irony or a clever plot device.

Edit - Morning Miss Tulip
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:21, Reply)
Just you wait, Mr. K
All will not be revealed tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:21, Reply)
*grins*
Well, that's warmed me up after my head got cold.

I'll stop now, before I come over all althegeordie on ya.

Wait...

Did I mean that to sound like that?

Ah, hell, why not.

-
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:23, Reply)
*winks at scarpe*
Hey HLT :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Oh scarpe!
*grins*

I was sorry to hear about your hat though.
I had a hat like that.
One of my exes burned it out of spite.
I wasn't happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:25, Reply)
I'd say rabbits fall under the cryptozoology category
Kaol: for a possible future story, there's a link in the newsletter to something about ants with a mind-controlling fungus. really weird, and kind of freaky. check it out.

edit: speaking of hats like that. a friend of my bro's was down to visit for tar barrels and went off into the dark for a piss.

he came out looking dejected and sans his favourite hat. it had fallen off while he was urinating and he'd pissed all over it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:25, Reply)
morning k2k6, morning miss badger
and all of those other b3tans.

why hasn't it snowed in scotland?

*huffs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Good Morning HLT!
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Badger
You got me, I can't spell. My excuse is that I've got a cold, and I'm sticking to that.

Still in work though, none of this 'Manflu' for me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:27, Reply)
Aww sorry Dok *hugs*
*buys Dok a big dictionary for Christmas*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)
*huggles Tulip*
Hiya!

How's you this morning?

Hasn't snowed in Yorkshire either:(
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)
The Doktor
Loves a big dictionary.

*lowers tone*
*runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Morning!
I have a "figure assessment" booked at the gym for tomorrow afternoon.
I imagine that it'll be something along the lines of being told I need to work out a bit.

But that's why I'm going to the gym! It'll be a laugh though anyway.

How is everyone today?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Figure assessment?
Interestingly enough, I'm fully trained in that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Yo Lucy
My figure assessment would be an 8 I reckon :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Hey Lucy
*hugs*

I am hugely busy, just taking 10 minutes for bacon and sausage noms!

Sorry to pimp again, but I'm quite proud of this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/tightwads/post289073

*whores*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Figure Assessment
Damnit Kaol, you beat me to it!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)
hello again everyone
Yup, 8 for me too.

I think I've developed consumption.

*coughs weakly*

*reclines*

I expect I'll pine away into nothing soon.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)
Good Morning everyone,
Hope everyone is OK on this freezing morning!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)
*notes Tulips pale face*
*strokes sideburns in appreciative manner*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)
*assess figures*
*approves*

I've just stuck a post on the main OT board. anyone got any ideas?

oh, in other news, I've had to abandon the conquistador look. it was causing more than the normal amount of liquid to drain round my moustache and through my beard to spill on my lap/the floor (this happens when drinking with a beard if you aren't careful)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)
Thanks Badger
It all stems from the fact I was taught phoneticaly! What a stupid method.

I must admit that I'm a lot better than I used to be.

Kaol that should read "Has a big dictionary".
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)
Ha
Doesn't it sound ominous though? I know its a good thing and can give me some targets to work on but who likes being measured?!

Quick, HLT, have a nice cup of tea and some huggles!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:48, Reply)
@BK
Well, if there's pimping going on...

b3ta.com/questions/tightwads/post284788

(be nice...lost hat, remember - and if you think that's a cheap sympathy ploy, you should have seen me after my dog died. I had my girlfriend making me tea for weeks)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Yay
for phonetic irony!

Yeah that is quite stupid Dok but not as bad as the people who think "txt spk" is acceptable. I demand vowels goddamit!

TGB's Spelling & Grammar School meets on Wednesday at 7 for an hour if you want to come :p We have cake and special guest Mr Apostrophe!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:50, Reply)
Morning all
I just had one of those recorded messages from ambulance chasing swines. 'Fine' thinks I so presses 6 to speak to an operator.

'Hello, bloodsucking, ambulance chasing legal whores' says the operator 'Hi' says I 'I subscribe to TPS so shouldn't be getting these phone calls'.

And the bitch hung up on me! God damned motherfucker! I hope her titties droop by 4 feet.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:51, Reply)
Text Speak speakers
should all die, slow and painful deaths!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Mr. Apostrophe
even.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)
thanks Lucy!
*enjoys tea and lucyhuggles*

*shares sweeties*

i refuse to write in text speak even on text messages. my texts are practically literature.

edit: unlike my qotw replies
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)
HLT
I though that I was the only person to do that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)
My mother writes in text speak
So I dont reply.

When she eventually got round to asking me face to face why I don't reply I told her I wouldn't unless she wrote in real English.

Not that I really care, I just wanted to make up for all those years of her sitting me at the kitchen table and making me practice my spelling.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)
I'm freezing and burning all at the same time
so ill
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)
full stops after titles
are not compulsory!

The rule "If the abbreviation includes both the first and last letter of the abbreviated word, as in mister and doctor, a full stop is not used."
source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_stop

Putting them in is more an American thing *glares*


*huggles PPD*
Want me to come see you later with soup?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Awh, poor pdd!
Have you tried whisky as a treatment?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Text speak?
No way. I have been known to use a semicolon in my text messages.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
HLT
I do that too. Virtually every text I send though ends up being a multipart message.

Damn it, because of that, I've noticed I've sent 270 texts to one person in the space of 3 days. Is that stalking?
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Txt Spk
Is a crime. I often have to try to translate chat logs from 'txt spk' into English for reports/colleagues/the court, and it makes me want to hurt people.

However, it's not as bad as the people who add 'lol' to the end of every line. Either they're constantly laughing about the most trivial of shit, or they actually think 'lol' is punctuation.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
stalkerbook has been updated
photos for all x
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)
labs,
we all missed you last night:(
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)
I flatly refuse to do 'txt'
The English language is a wonderfully expressive medium, full of thousands of words enabling the user to be as descriptive as possible and to convey any point with a well crafted sentence.

Removing all of the vowels is like taking a Stanley knife to a Rembrandt, therefore I write my text messages in correct English.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)
TXT speak is a massive annoyance
TO be fair I use some of it but since getting my new phone with a keyboard on it I tend to go for fullwords instead though...

I do have a habit of using tho though.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)
i don't have any
whisky...does gin help?
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)
Gin?
*shrugs*
Dunno, I can't drink it, I get flashbacks.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Ding dong the witch is dead!
Well, not dead but in a meeting for the next 45 minutes.

Hurrah! I don't have to hear anymore about her cruise.

*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)
@Kaol
Flashbacks to 'nam?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)
I use
"tomoro" a lot in texts *cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)
@rubberduck
I think that probably depends on whether they replied to any of them.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)
Nah, flashbacks to Reading Festival
That sounds good.
It isn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)
@Lusty
Or indeed hear about her grandkids or her fanny.

I'd think this would be a welcome respite!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
hurrah for nontextspeakers
I demand all your numbers so that I can text you in full-length glory.




What?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
PPD
Of course you missed me, I wasn't within punching range.

Edit: Gin for the Win!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)
i'm nice
labs, don't be horrid
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)
I'm away now
When I return I will be at work and have a shiny new haircut

woo!

*snogs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)
scarpe
That's OK then. I got just as many the other way.

Does that make me a crap stalker then?
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)
Sorry HLT
My full length glory may not fit on your phone screen without extensive scrolling.

Because I frequently use more than 165 characters
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)
@K2k6
She was talking about her depression earlier as well.

I felt like shooting myself in the face.

But for now I am happy! :D
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)
Mr. K...
*whispers*
I think it's 160 characters...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)
Hello all
Bloody hell it's cold out there. A very good suggestion for life- don't cycle in the Autumn without a pair of gloves, otherwise you will feel like your hands have been replaced with icicles.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
*checks phone*
Oh, yes, so it is. Thanks Kaol.

It's ridiculously short anyway.

The character limit I mean...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
That's heart-felt advice indeed, Mr. Broke
I went out for a smoke at about 2 this morning, and god-fuckin'-dammit, my hands were so cold that I dropped the cigarette trying to knock the ash off it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)
@Kaol
Ah, not been to a festival but the girlfriend is trying to get me to go to Leeds festival next year...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Blimey!
It took me some time to get here this morning!

*shivers with the coldness*

So, how is everybody?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)
*smacks DiT with a pugel stick*
Hey Piston. I couldn't be bothered to look for my gloves this morning but walking meant I could put them in my pocket. /tediously dull story
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Wish me luck
I'm about to try and sort and file 4 years worth of university paperwork and bank statements.

aaaaarg.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Cripes!
G'luck, Lucy! *crosses fingers*

*travelates*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)
Mr Nong everybody
I'm jealous of your snow.

And, even if we aren't talking about it any more, I talk proper in texts too. If it goes into two pages I edit like mad rather than resort to txt spk.

And, I got woken up by a call from the local chemists who want me to go in this afternoon for a chat and to see if I like the look of them. I may have a job later!
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)
Well, have fun with that!
Right.

I have a medical question.
When I drink a lot of spirits, I wake up in the morning with horrific cramps in my right calf-muscle.

It happened this morning.
*frowns*

But anyway, is that something that anyone else gets, and is there any advice, other than drinking that you can give?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)
Just for your information.
It has been confirmed by doctors that when a man sees a pretty women it lowers their ability to make decisions or good judgements.


Hahahahahahahahhahah.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
*snuggles fuzzy*
Good luck at the Chemists!

*hangs tough*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
@Kaol
I remember in training being told that cramps occur as a consequence of insufficient magnesium and manganese levels; these can be avoided by eating bananas and not drinking as much alcohol!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)
Hmm...
So you're saying that I'll be fine, as long as I get supplement pills and neck a couple before I sleep.
Nice, thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)
or Kaol
we can just chop your leg off below the knee, Ta daaa problem solved *cheesy grin and pointing*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
@Kaol
Apparently quinine is supposed to help too.

So just get drunk on vodka & tonic.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
So, what is the topic for tonight then?
Went to a gig last night, by God I was so bored I faked a family emergency so I could get the hell out of there without offending anyone. It was dark, cramped, too hot and I was bloody knackered from visiting three major cities in the North in one day. And I've just found out I can't make it to Manchester this weekend. Arse.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:44, Reply)
I Went...
...to the Peacock Theatre last night to see Sangre Flamenco, a flamenco dance show; 'twas very impressive!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)
BGB
That must mean that when I see you my ability to make decisions or good judgements is impaired!


/runs
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
hmmm, not eating bananas
would explain why I get cramp more than most....

shame they are so repugnant really.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Mornings all
Not really sure what else to say. Having the same problem on match.com *grumbles*

@kaol Realised that I can't actually do a drink tonight as I'm going to watch Arsenal vs. Spurs with my Dad.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Hmmm...
I prefer the tonic solution to the amputation one.

EDIT: No problem Captain V, another time!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Hmmm
You didn't happen to say "another time!" in some sort of superhero fashion before extending your arm and flying away did you?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Nooo
everyone's dropping out of Manchester :(

Kaol that used to happen to me too when I was drinking. I think, as has been mentioned, magnesium and potassium are the culprits, which are affected by your hydration levels. Eat bananas and drink other stuff too which isn't alcoholic. Like... ginger beer in your whisky :)

*snuggles TGB*
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:50, Reply)
Morning Fuzzy!
Best of luck today at the Chemists, I hope it's all lovely and full of cake for you!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)
@fuzzy
Firstly - good luck at the chemist.

Secondly - I read your signature as gingerbeard rather than gingerbread. I now have the mental image of your shaking hands with a ginger, bearded pirate to show your appreciation for something. He has a wooden leg [and] t[w]o boot[s]
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
Hey V
*puts away hacksaw* Oh ok then Kaol

*fuzzy snuggles*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)
there's a guy in our office at the moment
as one of the force putting together the new desks that have been delivered.

I'd estimate that his moobs are at least a B cup if not a C. he's not that fat in other respects, but he's quite a pair!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)
V - let's not talk about Arsenhole v Tottenham.
It's just all too much.

Nongs all.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)
Sorry Clenders
If it makes you feel any better my Dad will have to pretend he supports Arsenal as we're borrowing season tickets of an Arsenal supporter!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)
Poor sod!
The things we do for love.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
It sucks not being able to go to Manchester, it really does
But then again, there's always the bash in London. I hate having to be sensible :(
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
Thankies guys!
I hope the chemist experience is cakeful too, but I suspect it will be more... chemically than that.

Cap'n, I have that image now too... thank you.

*appreciates beards, ginger or otherwise*
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Poor sod?
I'm the poor sod! He wanted to go and invited me! I have to endure watching a dreadful team get thrashed by a team that I hate. I don't want to support either side ='[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)
V
I hear ya - I'm no fair-weathered suppporter, but it would be nice if the sun shone occasionally. Heap of shit.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Ooh, Footy!
I am lucky enough to have been invited to see The Mighty Gooners play Manchester United next weekend.

I am all different kinds of excited!

(Might be watching the match tonight on telly too... Up the Arsenal!)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)
And I
Am off to the Essex derby on Saturday afternoon to see the mighty Southend United play the dirty Colchester.

And as we beat Leeds last night, I'm quietly optimistic.

(wait, does league 1 count as real football?)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)
@DiT
Argh *jealouses* I'm a United fan but haven't seen them play for years =[

I have a soft spot for Spurs too but prefer not to admit that at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)
I hate football with a passion
But I shalln't burden you with that.

In beard news, my attempt at a chin beard is coming along nicely. It's rather satisfying to tug and twist while I ponder forensicy stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Bugger off, Tightly!
You and your Arsenholeness.




*Pretends not to love Tightly*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:23, Reply)
I don't like football
*shrugs*
It doesn't really do anything for me.

Kinda like paedophilia. I appreciate that some people enjoy it, but it's not for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Lab
You're having a tug at work? *sniggers*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)
TGB!
I should've seen that one coming ;)

Bizarrely my chinbeard is has a cleft in the middle, like an anti-mo. I quite like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:26, Reply)
@scarpe
Southend beat Leeds?

Bollocks!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:26, Reply)
1 down 8 to go
This trying to meet new people thing is much more difficult than I had imagined. Still, I'm not doing what a girl I met in a bar last week was doing:

Going out, on her own and telling everybody she met how she'd just split up with her boyfriend, was living with his parents and he'd moved out, got pregnant back home up north, had an abortion and left home because everybody thought she was a slag.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)
Watch it, Clenderton!
Also: Captain V, has she been on Jeremy Kyle?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)
Well you said it Lab!
I dunno what I want for lunch. I may be evil and have a subway
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
@DiT
I've no idea. As I'm sure you can understand I didn't spend very much time talking to her...thankfully. A friend of mine nearly pulled her! Serves him right for being so pissed. Shame he didn't though - much hilarity would have ensued.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:32, Reply)
@BK
Yup, 1-0.

I swear I changed my signature first thing this morning, before I knew you were a Leeds fan.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:35, Reply)
@ scarpe
I'll let you off for the Zevon reference.

I'm now singing the song to myself:)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)
I'm all on my own now
*grins*

Freeeeee Offffffiiiiccce!

Anyone wanna come party?

I've got half a bottle of whisky and some decent speakers.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:46, Reply)
*runs in*
*blows party whistle*

No, it's not a youfermism.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:48, Reply)
*sighs*
Way to dash my hopes :(

Ten minutes 'til lunch.
I've got no car, and as the others are out today, I've got no way to get to the pub.
Non-liquid lunch it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
Don't be sad!
*tickles Kaol with the feather on the end of the whistle*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:53, Reply)
Right
Me and a couple of mates are thinking of doing www.home2rome.com/index.esp

What do you think my chances are of acquiring a hearse, N reg or older, for £150 or less...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Kaol
I've got better speakers and I'm listening to Revered Bizarre.

With muffins. Om nom nom nom.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:57, Reply)
Damn you Jim!
I've got Faith No More... *swigs whisky* ... And now I'm off to get a toasted brie and bacon sandwich, and have a cigarette.

*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)
*surfaces from a sea of paperwork*
heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!
Oh my, I've been doing this for a while now and I don't appear to be getting anywhere!

Time for a lunch break now, and then I'm onto sorting out my clothes which is even more of a chore!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:11, Reply)
Fucking hell...
It's survey hell out there. I was accosted by three people querying about three separate products out there, not to mention the army asking me if I want to join up. And it was freezing out there.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)
mmmm
I had a subway. My feelings of guilt have been washed away by the happy full feeling

nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)
I once nearly pulled Linda Nolan's wedding ring off.
She looked scared.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)
*holds al tight*
better?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)
Another snippet of fact from my magazine.
72% of British men are in love right now.

Ahhhh!


Unfortunately not with me.

Boooo!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:26, Reply)
72%
Haha!

I'm certainly not, nor have ever been in that number.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:28, Reply)
^BGB
I empathise completely :(

Al, no. I couldn't reach and I was only seven years old.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)
BGB
Would you like 72% of British men to be in love with you? There's probaly a lot of ugly spuds in there.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)
I'm in the magic 28%
and clinging on in there for dear life. :)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:31, Reply)
I'm not sure I'm looking for love.
But a bit of fun would be nice.
*needs fun*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)
*sings* I didn't know I was looking for love until I found it
it can be quite nauseating
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)
I have a statistic
99% of the BBC news website is dedicated to the Brand/Ross prank calls.

WHO CARES!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)
Out of that huge 72% you'd think there'd be one of them in love with me.
I am very loveable after all.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:37, Reply)
@BGB
Oh, sweetie. All of B3ta loves you!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:39, Reply)
Pffft!
Who needs love?
I've got alcohol, cigarettes and my band.
That takes up more than enough of my time.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:40, Reply)
Statistics like that are
crap. Did they ask every single man in the UK? No. Therefore they have to take what they believe will be a representable cross section of the population and up the numbers. On something as undefined as "in love" the margin for error would be obscene. They probably only asked about 50 people as well.

I hate statistics - it's all bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:41, Reply)
I was in the 28% for a long time
but I'm kind of over the boundary at the moment :)

*tingles a bit*


Edit @TGB - That least sentence of yours really needs to be split into two.

/grammar nazi

Edit again - that's better!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:42, Reply)
Badger
Only 99.2% of statistics are rubbish actually.

The other 0.8% are bollocks.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:43, Reply)
*slaps Mr. K*
Snap out of it!
Good god man, us in the "statistically proven minority" need to stick together.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)
@TGB
I believe that it was Vic Reeves who said "80% of statistics are made up on the spot".

Statistics where used in isolation are dangerous (as are generalisations, but there you go). Statistics used to support decisions or to support statements are far, far better.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)
Dr Minge
I think you'll find that 72.4% of statistics are made up.

Edit - Er, yes Kaol. But I've been in the 28% for too long. I'm just having a look at the other side for a while.

And enjoying it a bit too much. Sorry!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)
TGB
statistics are bollocks indeed!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)
I'm in the 28%
And I don't like it, a bit like BGB and Drixy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Oh fine..
Another traitor.

Well in happy in my part of the 28%.
*grins*

EDIT: Shit... Does being in love with yourself count?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:47, Reply)
Kaol
Nope. And you hug like a man who loves, so that's enough!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:50, Reply)
My problem with being in the 28%
is that it's really fucking hard to stay there.

I end up deciding to have a 'bit of fun' and begin an inevitable descent into the 72%, whether I like it or not. Grrr.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:51, Reply)
"Hug like a man who loves"?
That'd be my new sig, if I wasn't shamelessly self-promoting :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:51, Reply)
@GB
It's only a bit of fun : (



@Edmund - thank you but just one is all I'm after.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)
@BGB
Well I'm single again :(
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)
Sorry BGB
*hugs*

Ignore me I am being bitter today :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)
That's a shame, Edmund!
I thought it was going well.

Kaol, change your sig! Dare ya!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)
re: Brand and Ross debacle
I've just seen a pic of Andrew Sachs' grand daughter...

she's quite tasty
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:59, Reply)
@Clendrix
Came to a spectacularly explosive end about 6 weeks ago. :(
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)
I hate
these 'statistics' that come from 'research'.

I work in the market research industry, and this kind of thing only serves to make us look like a bunch of dolts.

"We asked one person if they like to stroke their cat, tiddles. Therefore, 100% of people like to stroke their cats."

Arses.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)
Ed...
Petrol? Car chase? Oil-tanker?
Suicide bombing?

Clendrix... No fuckin' way! Tomorrow is Launch Day!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
Kaol
If I didn't know you, I'd worry about what goes on in your head...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:03, Reply)
@Kaol
Figurative, rather than literal.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:03, Reply)
@ Vipros
I probably would as well, however the knowledge she is effectively Russell Brand's sloppy seconds has put me off.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:03, Reply)
Mr. Duck
My head is awesome.
Ok, sometimes it makes me want to hide under a desk and cry myself to death, but the upside is that I get to have exciting adventures and come up with ideas for songs and pictures.

*looks around slowly*

*grins*

Ed, at least you didn't get asploded then :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:06, Reply)
piston_broke
you are right there

going somewhere he'd been would be rather silly.

she is in some kind of burlesque group though, and that does make me go a bit weak at the knees...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)
Edmund,
shame :(

Kaol - oh yes, I forgot.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:08, Reply)
@ Vipros
Indeed. There is something much classier about burlesque as opposed to lapdancing clubs.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:09, Reply)
Burlesque as art form?
At least that explains Dita von Teese then!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:10, Reply)
indeed there is
*daydreams*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:10, Reply)
Kaol
Just what are you launching tomorrow?

*ascared*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:11, Reply)
Sorry to hear that Edmund : (
I hope it ended amicably.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)
@BGB
Thanks. It ended reasonably amicably to the extent that my complete belief in my being unworthy was entirely proven to be accurate.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:15, Reply)
hahahah
this made me proper office lol

newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7693386.stm

My boss is making dirty phonecall jokes now though!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:20, Reply)
Ouch!
Those suction toilets scare the bejesus out of me. That noise they make sounds like they open a path to the very depths of hell.

Which makes going to the loo on a plane interesting for me, I can tell you!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)
How the
hell did he drop his phone in the bog?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:28, Reply)
DiT
The toilets on all trains smell exactly how I imagine Hell to smell as well.

*dry heaves*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:28, Reply)
I hate going for a piss on trains
*unzip*
*hold wall with one hand, equipment with the other*
*wait for the train to stop shaking and swaying like a fitting kid on a bouncy castle*
*give up waiting*
*urinate hard and fast, praying for minimal turbulence*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:31, Reply)
Fact
I have never had a wee on a train or a plane.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Hahaha
If Hell smells of anything, then surely it must smell of slightly stale piss. The kind of smell that is always with you in a train loo, but you can't quite identify it.

In fact, let's face it - Hell is probably a British Rail train. Hot, sticky underfoot, and stupidly expensive. Why trust the Devil when we do such a good job ourselves?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:33, Reply)
@LvP
Is this as a consequence of exceptional control or no long-haul flights? ;)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Edmund
A combination of the two!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:38, Reply)
Ergh
Took 5.5 hours to do 95 miles this morning.

Someone did a proper accident on the M40 closing it both ways.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:40, Reply)
I had to have a wee on a train in India
where there's nothing but a hole in the floor and you can see your wee hitting the train tracks.
Scariest wee I've ever done!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:40, Reply)
I've just spent £960
*feels sick and wibbly*
*lies down*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:43, Reply)
@Lusty
That sounds like a great way to wee!

Much better than having one on a ship in rough seas. That's really quite difficult!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:44, Reply)
Clendrix
What did you buy?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)
*waves at Ethelred*
Aww got back ok in the end though?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:48, Reply)
k2k6
It wouldn't have been so bad if the door had a lock that worked. I was mightly impresses with my balance that day.

@clendrix on what?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:48, Reply)
Hopefully she spent it on me
But somehow I think she didn't. For shame.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)
I'm going to New Zealand.
I tells ya, I love the friend I'm visiting or I wouldn't be doing it!

Plus I'll only be back for three days and it's the Edinburgh Bash.

Jetlag + beer = all manner of horror.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:51, Reply)
Whereabouts in New Zealand are you going Clendrix ?
My bezzie mate live over there. I haven't had the chance to visit her yet.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:56, Reply)
My friend lives in Wellington, so that's where I'm off to.
I've been to NZ before, but that was when I was living halfway there already.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:58, Reply)
I'd love to go to NZ
But being as the 8 1/2 hour flight to Minneapolis was a bit of a trial, I can't imagine what 24 hours would feel like!

I'm still a wee bit jealous though. But then I'll be booking my honeymoon at the weekend, so hurrah!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)
My mate lives in Aukland.
I would soooo love to go over.

*jealouses*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)
The friend I'm visiting is one of my dearest chums
and she'll be having a baby at the end of December, so she'll be on maternity leave - perfect.

I may be poor, but I'm excited too!

Edit: Flight to NZ is actually 29 hours :(
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:07, Reply)
@Clendrix
Ooo bugger!

That's a long time to be cooped up in a plane. I guess if I ever get to go to New Zealand I better have had won the lottery so I can go first class.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)
Al
via Singapore. TBH, I'm gonna feel like crap whichever way I go!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)
Still, better than walking :p
I wanna go on holiday.
Is it Edinbash time yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:14, Reply)
I don't find long haul flights
all that bad, to be honest.

The trick is to go to bed as soon as you can after landing at your destination, no matter the time of day. Set your alarm for three or four hours hence, and make yourself get up when it goes off. Have a shower, have something to eat, then stay up until normal bedtime.

You'll feel a bit shaky for the first day, but generally it's OK,
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)
K2k6
I don't mind the weird sleep patterns so much - it's just the horrific boredom during the flight! I barely sleep, so it does drag.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:28, Reply)
re: Edinbash
Just read the important edit about kilts. Perhaps it's time I finally got a kilt in my tartan! *puts on pipe music from his recent trip to Edinburgh*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:29, Reply)
@clendrix
That's what in-flight entertainment's for. I can't sleep either.

If you fly with Emirates or Singapore Airlines, they have pretty good seatback systems. Also take an iPod, a decent pair of noise cancelling headphones and a thick book. Fills in the time no bother.

I like travelling though. Always have done.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)
I never go anywhere without my ipod!
I've room for lots of movies on it, thank heavens :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:31, Reply)
Al
We are doing a bit of a trip:

Canada for a bit of snowboarding (one week). Then fly down to California for some sun and the Napa Valley (one week). Then across to New York before coming home.

That's the plan, anyway. We were going to go to Borneo to see the Orang Utans, but we're going to do that in 2010 instead.

EDIT: I can't sleep on planes either, but that's cos I can't sleep sitting up. I am planning to splash out and go business class for the longer flights on the honeymoon, so I can recline and sleep! On our plane this year they had funny headrests that made you sit weirdly. Not nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:31, Reply)
Piss!
I just broke my nice noise-cancelling headphones :( The headband bit completely sheared. They might be salvageable, i'll have to see...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)
oh man
I am getting my ass kicked in online risk.

*sads*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:35, Reply)
I hope you started out in Asia
And then built up from there... *strategises*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
I don't have a problem with long-haul flights
As I don't sleep much anyway.
All I need is a bunch of sheets of A4 paper, my iPod, a pencil or two and a few books.

The paper and pencils are to play the "draw scary things on the paper to freak out the guy sitting next to you who insists on having his arm almost in your lap" game.

Draw little pictures of him, and the plane on fire, and you flying away laughing, with giant bat wings :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)
^Kaol!
I love this!

But I'm so shit at drawing he'd never guess what it was supposed to be.
*takes Kaol to NZ*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)
the eventual winner of my game of risk the other day
had hold of asia

I had crippled myself and someone else in an all out attempt to win however.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)
I tried to hold
south america but was getting attacked by two very strong armies both from N america and Africa.

Australasia is the easiest to hold

AL at work here
www.shockwave.com/gamelanding/risk.jsp

But at home I have a better one where I can host games *is geeky really* I think it's called Mission Risk and you download and either play with the computer or can host games
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)
Sure al
I'd like recommendations!

I got a pair of Shures for Christmas, and was gutted that this pair of £70 earphones sounds a lot worse than my £20 Sennheisers :( No matter what plugs I used, the Shures had no bass at all.

I might go for a pair of SkullCandy cans for work, I've heard good things about them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)
Hi all
I've just had the afternoon from hell at work. One of my drivers took offence at my implementation of the rules regarding staying on shift and came into the office slamming to door, screaming and shouting and swearing. Luckily there were two senior drivers in the office else I really think I'd have been in trouble.

I've had my nose broken in that office by an irate driver before. I was shaking and felt very sick today.

The plus side, I now have cheap cider, Frazzles and I've just seen the best Barclaycard advert ever. I want one of those waterslides!

*is still shaking*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)
*hugs no3l*
I have a beardy badge in my profile now :D
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:50, Reply)
I loathe flying.
I'm tall, big built so I can't get comfortable and I'm slightly claustraphobic which means I have to take beta blockers in case I get a panic attack while flying.

The only consolation is I have no fear of flying.

I may get me some of those headphones now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:53, Reply)
No3l!
FFS!

*hugs No3l*

Can't you do something about this?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)
Afternoon all
It's the afternoon, and I have a huge project report from last year to read. Should make for a fun evening.

Are we all well here? Anything interesting happened? Anyone imploded?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)
Good News!!!
I have just reclaimed and held South America *glees*

Men - forward to Africa!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)
Thanks TGB
Al, it's hard to explain. I've left and come back. I'm sort of part of a large muslim family despite being a white, lower-class British atheist. The guy before was sacked on the spot and I was happy enough with that. Not down with compensation culture.

Edit: ta clendrix :) I could look for another job, but there's an element in the company trying to fuck things up and it's what they're trying to achieve, so for the time being I'm not giving them the satisfaction. I'm sort of on the hunt for another job tho.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)
Oi, No3l...
Thanks for the beard badges! I have updated my profile accordingly!

Also - *manhugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:07, Reply)
Noise cancelling headphones
are pretty good. Mine are PlaneQuiet NC6, which are OK. They cost about £40, but look like the Bose £250 ones and are comfortable to wear for long periods. They don't sound particularly nice admittedly, but they are fine for the environment I use them in, which is inherently noisy.

Sennheiser do a similar pair for similar money, which probably sound a lot better.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Just before my battery dies
I worked in the service dept at Sennheiser on and off. Their hardware really it fantastic. If you want affordable phones, get HD25s. Just great, and mostly bulletproof too :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:25, Reply)
I have come close
to winning in 10 rounds though *smugs*

I think it was fluke as I started with most of Australasia...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:45, Reply)
Argh!
It's 4.30pm and dark. Can someone explain to me why it is we have to mess about changing the clocks anyway? I remember hearing something about making the most of the daylight on a summer morning, but come on!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:53, Reply)
DiT
It's because I love the night-time.
And now I get more hours to creep and slice and grin.

*happy*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:56, Reply)
Yay!
Just got off the phone to HMRC and in a monopolyesque turn of events they owe me £240!

Huzzah for tax rebates - If anyone needs me I shall be wallowing in a vat of *Glees*
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)

"...on with my iPod willy."

Fixed!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:07, Reply)
Nings all
Looks promising for the job. I'll hear next week if the boss says yes.

In the meantime I shall fund my trip to Manchester at the weekend with my new-found addiction to gambling.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:13, Reply)
lalalalala
la la la lalala la la la...someone is feeling a little less poorly:) i want more snow
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:21, Reply)
do you have a goldfish? i'd trade it for a cat...

www.finn-tasticcanada.com/Golden%20eye.jpg
(ppd, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:24, Reply)
I'm going to see Saw V tonight
So... Tomorrow is a bonus day for all you OT-folk.

A film review AND the first instalment of Kaol Black - Cryptozoological Special Investigator.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:25, Reply)

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