I'm relatively new to this forum.
Can you summarise the main characters?
I mean, obviously b3th is the fat, lazy feckless mod, Monty lives in a fantasy world of Hawkwind and decapitated drug dealers and Naked Ape is a massive bent spastic. What else?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 18:47, 77 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I Just bumped into someone I used to work with, we used to get on well but this was a bit awkward
I hate seeing people I haven't seen for ages and will change tube carriages or cross the road if necessary. Do you do this?

Alt: fucking cat fish are ugly freaky fuckers I wish they'd all die. What animal would you wipe off the earth?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:59, 45 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Bored with all'a dat.
CITIZENSHIP TESTS.

Seen the sample questions? I'm all for British history playing a part of such tests but a multiple choice quiz does fuck all to work out if someone comprehends even a fucking word of them.

Which questions would YOU ask?

Btw some of the foaming-at-the-mouth replies on the BBC news site are fucking classic. Actual references to 'New Lie-bore' etc etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:33, 323 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

so following the criminalisation of squatting in resi properties
squatters are now prefacing their "it's my home and i live here so ner" notices with "it's not resi but imma live here anyway". clever? or a pisstake?

alt: afternoon tea? cream then jam, or jam then cream?

actually it's secret option c: fuck your nasty jam and cream, just have it hot with butter, but you might as well think your opinion counts.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:53, 172 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Enough of that.
I've been reading about a serbian tourist attraction based on a yeti that is supposed to stalk the land around a ski resort. Sounds like a desperate attempt to drum up tourism. What would you do to bring people to your area?

Alt: what would you do to keep undesirables away?

Altalt: talk amongst yourselves.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:14, 217 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Three word thread!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:41, 179 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi guys!!!! Monty here, just starting a new thread!!!!!
Let's have a good news/bad news thread!!! They're always superLOL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:49, 231 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Who won the fight then?
And is anybody not curled up in the corner crying for their mummy?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 7:58, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Come on then, if you got into a fight in real life and you could only call on b3ta people
Who would you call on to back you up?
I reckon Nakers would go bat shit loopy with his not quite long enough cables.
And Windy Pig would beat all in his way; I think Sportscow would just be nice to any aggressor.

So best I get Battered to kill all from ankle to thigh length, Windy to Kill all that can’t do the pub quiz, and Cavy for just being cock hungry and frustrated.

Alt? Who would you like to see dead?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 20:31, 139 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When was the last time PP had intimate contact with another human being?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAIT'SFUNNYBECAUSEIT'SCRUEL!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 17:32, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When was the last time you punched someone / someone punched you?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 16:19, 120 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

That was a shit thread.
So who's excited about the new Star Wars, JJ Abrams is directing it, how cool is that??? Pretty cool, I'm sure you'll agree.

I'm in london this weekend. What should I do?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:26, 168 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You're amazing OT, never forget it
www.guardian.co.uk/science/2013/jan/27/20-human-body-facts-science

alt: lunch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:47, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Tell me why
You don't like Mondays.

Alt. Best/worst minorty group and why. You can only select one from each.

Alt alt: something about massive drugs and Hawkwind.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:08, 216 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If anybody's interested, Film4 are showing the Director's Cut of Aliens.
Thought you ought to know..
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 27 Jan 2013, 21:19, 20 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Steampunk goths in York.
New Rock boots and goggles. They're in their forties.

Oh dear.

No Wilf though.

I just had a pint with Tangers. We held hands and snogged. He's well fit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 27 Jan 2013, 16:18, 36 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sorry for killing that thread.
talk more. Please. I won't kill this one. Hopefully.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 27 Jan 2013, 12:33, 8 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning all!
It's Sunday, the sun is shining, the snow has gone and all seems well with the world (except Mali but they don't count - part French y'see).
So, my fellow B3TANS, what lays in store for you on this fine day? A spot of cookery? DIY perhaps? Or, are you lying in bed groaning with a mahoosive hangover? Tell us all that we may sympathise/offer advice/mercilessly take the piss.
Alt: Best insult you've heard recently. Or something - I dunno.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 27 Jan 2013, 11:24, 52 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Come on Tim!

( Peej, Sun 27 Jan 2013, 10:09, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Right then..
I'm going to a wedding can anyone else think of a more inappropriate pre-wedding attendance song than Gram Parsons' '$1000 Wedding'(young bride dies, groom to be drinks himself to death after his friends confess they've all had a go on her)?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 26 Jan 2013, 9:40, 37 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm off tomorrow
It's fucking ages since I've had a Saturday with no work and frankly I'm not best pleased.

What should I do? I could spend the day in bed with US Civil War books, or I could go shopping with the velour-clad stripey trouser brigade.

Dogs are with their step-father, or I'd be out with them.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:28, 12 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So anyway little bit of friday afternoon politics.
If you were Nick Clegg now, what would you do? you're fucked in the polls and your own party roll their eyes when you're mentioned.

Your choices are
a) Keep in the coalition, do what you can
b) Leave the coalition, vote against as many things as possible and force an election.
c) Stay in the coalition, but ignore any control from the Torys
d) other.

Alt: Weekend plans.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 16:33, 102 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Views on homeopathy please.
Most people I know regard it as bollocks.
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2267120/Homeopathy-rubbish-shouldnt-available-NHS-says-chief-medical-officer.html#ixzz2IuYbHHUQ
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 15:19, 178 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Who is your favourite B3tan and why?
I enjoy reading Monty's, Sportscow and The Obans offerings. The latter being rather amusing.


Alt. What are you enjoying on tv at the minute?

I'm loving the Africa series. Attenborough can do no wrong.

AltAlt. Drink of choice.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 13:47, 267 replies, latest was 12 years ago)