That's QOTW off to a flying start.
What's your favourite part of B3ta? And least favourite?
Alt, what websites do you log onto first thing in the morning?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 30 May 2013, 16:40, 19 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's CQ's birthday today.
Please leave a birthday message for him in this thread.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 30 May 2013, 15:51, 40 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Let's help Mumsnet out
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1766375-Period-blood-stains-laundry-issue

Post your suggestions and I'll pass them on.

You're welcome.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 30 May 2013, 14:06, 175 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Almost lunch time thread
So the “Mary Rose” is finally on display to the general public after a 32 year restoration,
What is else is worth restoring?*

Alt: I saw this advert for the first time last night, as a dad I thought it was well cool
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyeDBZaxFa8
So adverts what was the best advert ever and why?

Alt:alt: Chicken Thursday are you celebrating it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 11:46, 19 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

meme myself and i
what is your favourite meme about another b3tan? is it justified?

alt: what would you like to be your own meme?

altalt: if you could impart just one piece of wisdom to the world before your last breath rattles out of your ugly knackered old lungs, what would it be?

altaltalt: sweet or savoury for 11's?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 10:29, 104 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Last night I had a really weird dream.
I dreamt that when I stumbled downstairs and looked out the back window I saw none other than Rachelswipe loitering in my back garden.

Upon opening the back door and enquiring as to why she was there, she informed me that the previous evening she had missed her train home and, not wanting to wake me up, had decided to sleep in my back garden as it was "the nicest one on the road" but that now I was up, could she please have some breakfast and a shower?

What really then creeped me out was that when I went to show her the shower, the shouty homeless woman who hangs around sainsburys was hanging around in my bathroom and was running herself a bath.

What I'm taking from this is that Rachelswipe wants to anally violate me.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 May 2013, 9:39, 58 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning
Well today sees the end of Plopgate, a veritable Lawrence of Arabia of a thread. In a way I shall be sad to see it go.

In another way I will be pleased. Crazy!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 May 2013, 8:00, 171 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

you bunch of fucking wankers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 May 2013, 21:45, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Cloning mammoths.
Time for a shit evening thread.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 29 May 2013, 18:39, 55 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morel Dilemma
I've just been asked to fix a collegue's work, and while I was under the hood, I found a huuuuge security flaw. I can make the system login without needing someones password, all you need is someones email address.

I don't want to be a dick, but i'm gonna come out like a cunt either way.

What would you do?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 May 2013, 17:19, 80 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I said this earlier today -
"Yet you guys throw all sorts of stuff at me about my marriage, how my wife looks and really inappropriate stuff about my daughter.
Here I am, mostly happily married for 15 odd years, a fairly well adjusted, smart and active kid, financially secure no matter what I chose to do.
Cheers"

And Rory chose to post this -
thats what your fat retarded kid said when she was sucking me off for a bag of haribo.
I really need to get some standards at some point
I've done /mailus
Anyone else who feels like getting rory/Fu Manchu/ what-ever-other-name's he's chosen getting their comeuppance now's your chance.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 May 2013, 15:25, 114 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

DROP AN OLD SKOOL BEAT.
What are YOU dropping today?

Alt: fuck this shit, I'm doing the washing up.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 29 May 2013, 15:05, 38 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi guys! Monty here from off topic on the internet.
I'm a little dejected today. How are you?

Alt: something off the news

BONUS ALT: WHAT'S THE BEST PUB FOOD?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 13:29, 106 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alright I'll try up here.
Isn't the "Ploppy, Son of Ploppy" account a sock puppet of Pooflake? Can this be confirmed by B3th?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:59, 88 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

How do you go about WINNING on the internet?
When was the last time you got to go 'Ha! In your face random forum poster you're naught but a FOOL, A FOOL I TELLS YA!' and they remained forever your internet-bitch?

Alt: I'm going to Monty's clubnight, I'm assuming it's fancy dress so I'll be going as TVs Craig Charles in his Red Dwarf getup. When was the last time you dressed as a twat in public?

Altalt: Best thing to put in a pitta bread or something.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:45, 79 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

yeah morning
I have a meeting tonight about potentially starting a new club night.

What are you too old for and really should face it and walk away from?

Alt: Let's hope dear old Pooflake has a better day today eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 7:47, 235 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

what specifically do you like least about stewart lee

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 28 May 2013, 22:53, 71 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This is stupid
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2013/may/22/dishes-olive-oil-banned-restaurants-eu

What other stupidity can you envisage the EU bringing in at some point?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 May 2013, 19:07, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yesterday I bought an axe
I also tiled and built a big fucking fire.

When was the last time you did something manly/womanly?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 15:57, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yessssssss
they're "rebooting" The Tomorrow People!
www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/27/tomorrow_people_reboot/

What's the best news you've ever heard?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:44, 113 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey! Who is going to Asparafest this weekend?
www.asparafest.co.uk/

Alt: Why does my wee smell funny?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:41, 118 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

sporty has requested a new thread
do you have anything freaky-deaky about your body, like double-jointedness?

alt: what could you win a gold medal for at the olympics (assuming there were a category for your... talent)??

altalt: is it ever ok to put cheese with something sweet? what?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:41, 25 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Battered is a tedious cunt. Discuss
Alt: Daley Thompson was good at lots of field events. Discus

What is your standard 'photo-face' ? Does it differ if you're muntered? Have you ever done the 'trout-pout'?

Tell me what's a healthy lunch cos I'm a fatty-boom-batty innit
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:52, 117 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I need to come with a name for a consulting business.
Your suggestions please.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:36, 66 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

*Echoey footsteps*
....it's quiet in here.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 28 May 2013, 9:50, 28 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Presents
It's my 40th in a few months and my family are asking me for gift ideas.

Help me out with some humorous or ideally sensible suggestions please.

Alt: there's a right old hoo-hah about the footage of that Woolwich shit. The perpetrators were obviously desperate for the the world media attention. Would it have been better to have denied them the oxygen of publicity and not shown it, or is that suppression of information and a bit police state-y?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 9:20, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

yeah morning
How's it going?

It's pissing it down here. Back to reality with a bump. Bah.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 7:47, 50 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck this shit, I'm off to bed.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 27 May 2013, 23:18, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well. that'll be the bank holiday over and done with more or less.
What fun times did you have?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 May 2013, 20:00, 38 replies, latest was 12 years ago)