What colour? All the good colours have gone
AIDS got in quick and bagged red.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:06, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm amazed
that I'm the first person to reply "pink"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Mindpiss.

( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Breast Cancer got there first
just like Kylie
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

What's pink? Breast cancer or something, I think.
How about a nice pastel baby blue?
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

That's the cot death ribbon

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

God, there's a bloody coloured ribbon for every stupid little thing.
What about something IMPORTANT, like Darth's plight?

Stupid, selfish dead babies.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

perhaps you need a very specific shade
like puce or cerise?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

It should be encrusted with diamante studs.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

or spunk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Or both.
For that 'really gay' look. And perhaps a simple little picture of a prolapsed anus.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Fuck you DG
and your ninja fingers. I was typing "encrusted with rhinestones" but decided to go for the generic "glitter" down there.

Seems we're all predictable when it comes to Darth's rampant queendom.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

In this complicated universe
it's a comforting thing that some things are constant.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Also, if you want to go for a little glitter 'down there'.
Go right ahead. Apparently it's quite fashionable nowadays.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Are you suggesting she glam up her clam?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Clitter!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I like this!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

It's not my joke, I'm afraid

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

If anything, the fact that it's actually called "Vajazzling" is even funnier.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

what?!
that sounds amazing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

A friend of mine suggested we double-team and get that together
Unfortunately mine would just sit alone in my knickers, unseen. No dick would dance below the disco ball of my mons pubis.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Surely it would provide an unnaceptable level of abrasion?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

When you have sex, do you rub your dick along the mons pubis?
Fuck no. As far as I know the gems are limited to there.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Not usually, but I'm not keen on grating the tip of my nose off.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Point.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

For some women, it would give the level of purchase required
Like using sand as a lubricant.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

what possble function could it serve?
by the time someone's looking, they are pretty much distracted. Unless of course boys only like sparkly bit now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

It'd be the only way to get Darth to take a second look.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Haha, totally this.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

They were talking about it on the radio the other day.
I nearly choked on me werthers!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I have a wonderful picture of a misprinted Girls Aloud bio
entitled "Dreams that Clitter"
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Aye, all the classy birds are getting vajazzled.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

A friend told me about vajazzling
But I was too drunk to believe her. Why oh why would a woman consider it even a remotely good idea? Make it neat and presentable, sure, but don't make it look like it should be fastened with magnets to a fridge.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I did want a dermal there
That would look cool. But I can't :(
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

That is gutting
Maybe surface bars would work?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I'm off surface bars
With dermals I have seen the light. They are so, so much less fuss than surface bars.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Yes you really are, generally
But some of the ideas being chucked about here are making me chuckle.

Also; dried-on spunk looks a bit like glitter, so I think Lampito's idea wins
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

o_O
...not sure what I can say to that.

I feel a bit sick.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

At the spunk/glitter comparison?
Or because I paid you a vague compliment? Don't worry, you can't catch it by association
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

The dried on spunk.
I'm a bit funny about bodily fluids.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Noted
with apologies
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

this isn't some kind of originality competition
you're a raving bertie woofter, and we are telling you so.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

To be honest, we're not that original when it comes to the "Crow"n Prince of Bumming.
Just take 2 LIMP WRISTS, a GAPING ANUS and a COQUETTISH WINK, bung it in a TEAPOT and MINCE AROUND A BIT until it's nicely incorporated.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

^ this

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Haven't you got baking to do, woman?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I find it amusing that someone who acts more like a woman than I do
Is trying to be a chauvinist.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I'll admit I'm bad at chauvanism
but it seemed more inventive than "fuck off"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Bless
You're worse than someone who is PMS-ing, you really are. Lighten the fuck up, I thought you homosexualists were all happiness and sunshine?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Not when people ruin our SCD-related fun we're not
I actually want to Jive on my dickhead colleague's throat. Whilst being partnered by The Widdecombe.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Even she isn't that desperate for a partner

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Sorry
What part of "fuck off" above are you struggling to comprehend?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Why aren't I allowed to join in the fun of calling you a bumder?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:39, Reply)

My apologies
ALL of you fuck off

Better?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Thank you

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Look at us being civil to each other
I'm not sure I like it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Season of good will, innit?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Let's see how many B3tans that extends to
In the interest of the same, I should say that I actually have no problem with Northumberland, and would like to apologise for insinuating that it bore resemblance to a planet wasted by a millennia-long war of attrition
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:01, Reply)

S'alright darth.
Internet banter.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I really need to get my head around this concept, don't I

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I know, that was civil, wasn't it.
I don't like it, it feels dirty.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:02, Reply)

And dirty is... bad?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Valid point.
I should have said "I feel a bit sick".
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I have that effect on a lot of people
It's the face that does it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:14, Reply)

The 'soon to be on the telly' face!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Yep
I fully expect emergency services to be inundated with calls as several million people spontaneously lose their lunches at exactly the same moment
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:19, Reply)

You two are like the Batman and Catwoman of O/T
At each others throats one minute, the next, teaming up for the greater good.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Plus, Darth looks great in a catsuit
He even brings his own.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Wrong on both counts
Especially the first
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

What a shame
You could buy one for the sake of saving /OT though, right?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Why on earth would I have any interest in saving this motley bunch of miscreants?
I doubt they'd thank me if I rode to the rescue in something that tight
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Yeah, but if you're not catwoman that means I have to be.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

We could take a vote on it
But I'm pretty confident that given the choice of you or I in a PVC catsuit B3ta, and indeed the sighted world, would prefer you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Let's ask them.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

This can't end well for you
Either B3ta votes that you have to be Catwoman, or that they'd rather see me in a catsuit than you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

That's what I want to know.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:34, Reply)

That is by far the greatest compliment any B3tan has ever given me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:16, Reply)

You're certainly bad at spelling it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I raise my glass to your father.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I'd prefer purple
It's on-trend
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

'nigger brown'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

My parents first ever 3 piece suite was that colour
that was in the 70's
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

All suites were that colour in the seventies it went with the "day old spunk magnolia" walls and "monkey shit brown" carpet.

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

swirly monkey shit brown, remember
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I was watching the Swedish Wallander
and a suspect was a black guy, but they kept calling him "The negro" and there was real distaste everytime they mentioned "the negro". I bet they changed the tone for the English version, which is a shame because I would love to see Kenneth Brannagh say that he was looking for a darkie.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

'Honky white'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Glitter.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:09, Reply)

That's a little unfair.
Darth's a queer, not a paedo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

hahaha
b3ta is FUNNY today.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Dur!
Rainbow!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Oooo Zippy!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)