What's the worst thing you've been called?
I just received a gaz addressed to 'Dear Turdy Helmet' and I am pretty sure this wins for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:12, 62 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

zany
:(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Turdy Helmet.
hahaha
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Someone once called me Monty Boyce
and offered me some massive drugs.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I get called a rapist on here pretty much daily.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)

But that's because you're a terribel rapist
And that's terrible in the sense that you constantly go around trying to rape people, and yet also terrible in the sense that you aren't very good at it and very rarely manage to get your penis in.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

It's quite unwieldly that's true.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:21, Reply)

You are an ugly rapist,
just trying to mix it up a bit for you there.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

well if you will write it on your CV

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:22, Reply)

a bad father,
I mean I'm almost 80% sure it's not mine.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Translation:
I'm too bored to think of ways to insult you all, so just tell me what will have you weeping uncontrollably so I can paint it onto rocks and throw them through your window.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:23, Reply)

what a terrible bully
at least put the effort in, Monty
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Vicki

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Good answer.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:29, Reply)

+ Pollard?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Nope, just Vicki.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:44, Reply)

i don't know
a slut maybe
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Is that really the worst thing you've been called?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I've been called fat all my life. Probably been called some pretty nasty things on /talk from time to time
but I don't care.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Surely just being reminded you're an American is enough to send you running out of a room, sobbing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:52, Reply)

oh
burn
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Where you upset at the implication that you sleep around
or sad that you don't?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)

If I were you I would interpret it thus
Turdy helmet = brown helmet.
Brown helmet = the type of helmet worn by Arthur Brown.

Therefore it is paying you the massive compliment of suggesting that you're the type of chap who could carry off the "flaming helmet" look.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:34, Reply)

he certainly can

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Look it's pretty much cleared up now ACTUALLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:36, Reply)

He was on television last Friday.
I fucking love Arthur Brown.

His first LP has no guitar (apart from bass) on it. TRUFAX.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:36, Reply)

An adult
*shudders*

EDIT: Actually, I've been called a 'whining, fat, lying cunt' on here before. I objected to that a bit.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Actually
most of us have. Usually by JMG, though, and collectively.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Ah you see, this was directed at me specifically
And not by JMG.

Which made it sting a little bit. I am not a liar.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Meatloaf
:-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Ouch
especially if they meant Meatloat in Fight Club, coz Bob was "the big moosey with bitch-tits"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:47, Reply)

his name was robert paulson

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:06, Reply)

his name was robert paulson

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Probably something my neighbour said...
After our party finished at 6am and kept him up all night. I opened the door to a raging German at 8am and I had no idea what he said. I let him continue for a few moments and interspersed his ranting with some casual nods and a few 'Ja's' and 'Neins'. That seemed to keep him happy and he left soon after. I must admit being insulted in a language you don't understand removes the hate and actually makes it mildly amusing. I suggest you give it a go sometime.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:48, Reply)

A New Zealander told me I sounded like Jamie Oliver
it was touch and go whether I would push his eyes into his brain with my thumbs
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I try to remember that 'sticks and stones' adage
and I've probably been called some fairly awful things in my time but the two that I objected to most was being called a cheating lying whore when I hadn't actually done anything wrong, and being called jellybelly at school. I then made the mistake of tearfully telling my dad this, only for him to start calling it me too whenever he got drunk (ie, most days).
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Memories eh?
*Looks wistfully upwards*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Hey, there's no time for that now!

(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Quite right
*concentrates on work*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:03, Reply)

...you have seen Spaced, right?
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I've seen it, and it's a heap of shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Oh shush you grumpy thing
I don't pour scorn and abuse on any of the things you like.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:10, Reply)

any either
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:12, Reply)

MDs and Hawkwind?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:21, Reply)

What about Hendrix, the Nazis and swords?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Let's combine all five to a neat pair of intoxication and 'boystown' fixations.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I'll go with that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Please do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I really don't feel any need to, to be honest

(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

"Come on Mike...Jump"

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:07, Reply)

just checking...
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:12, Reply)

followed by a 'witty' and 'knowing' Star Wars reference?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Some guy on his L Plates called Danny the fireman gazed that I am an insufferable little prick
My crime appears to be the pissflaps posted the "Thats Racist" animated gif meme. I never realised I was so terrible.
( Peej, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:13, Reply)

In the gaz I was responding to....
...you described yourself as both a 'turd' and a 'helmet' which was rather odd.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Mycroft probably
oh and my mum calls me by my aunt's name when she wants to annoy me. My sister called me Ace Rimmer once as well, the same sister who pretty much calls me Withnail these days
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I've been called Withnail
I never considered it an insult before.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I would be extremely amused
if I got called Withnail. Mycroft wouldn't be so bad either - he was the elder-even-more-genius-brother, wasn't he?
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Yeah the immensely fat one
who never left his club/ his rooms in Pall Mall because he was so fat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Oh I see
yes, that's rather more harsh. Albeit flagrantly bollocks.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Admirably played by Charles Gray in the wonderful J Brett versions.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)

You've been called Withnail?
And I.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Monty called me a 'quite horrendous old queer' in my birthday card.
I was touched.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)

English

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)