So how is the latest London snowpocalypse?
I read that the airports have been shut down repeatedly and that you are having another snowy/icy winter.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:35, 84 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've seen more snow in the last three years
than I've seen in the preceding 27.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:37, Reply)

You'll find all you want at the following address.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I find it offensive that the news headlines are all about the fuckign weather
and how they have to refer to it as "The Big Freeze" as if it's actually a sentient entity that is "back with a vengeance".

Fucking retarded population of fuckheads who can't cope with information unless it's made sensationalist.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:39, Reply)

yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:39, Reply)

We get that every year whenever there's a bit of a cold snap.
the media are retarded.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:40, Reply)

people prefer news when it affects them directly
hence it's always billed on the news ahead of thousands of foreigners dying
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I like how all the news websites have live running updates on the snow as their main story as if it's not been exactly the same for the past week.
2:20PM - Still snowing.
2:28PM - Roads that were closed are still closed.
2:33PM - More snow again.
2:39PM - Airports are struggling.
2:43PM - Still snowing.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:44, Reply)

POPULATION RETARDED, END OF CIVILIZATION IMPLIED BY HACKIVIST

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:48, Reply)

The rest of the country is also being affected



Hmmmm, is it affected or effected in this instance?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:37, Reply)

The country would be effected by the snow
if the snow were somehow making it run better.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Just say the rest of the country is also fucked.

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:38, Reply)

It's okay in the north, mostly because it's not populated by southern soppy whinging-girl puff pants.

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I wonder if any Geordies
have put a jacket on, yet.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Don't be ridiculous
though I heard a rumor that one guy actually but his vest back on and got laughed at by his mates.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:49, Reply)

How would you know?
You're a FRAUD! A FAKER!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I thought he had a note from his mum, so they let him off with a warning?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Heh
u a

geordielolz
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:54, Reply)

clipfwd.blogspot.com/2010/11/howay-man-its-not-cold-as-britain.html
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:54, Reply)

what the fuck is going on with the girl on the rights face.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:59, Reply)

She's Biffa Bacon's sister.
Also I can't decide whether the blonde girl in the second photo is in the act of spraining her ankle or if she actually has a club foot.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I witnessed a scantily clad young lady
go arse over tit a couple of weeks ago because the 6 inch killer heels she was wearing were utterly ineffectual as snow tyres.

I laughed from the comfort of my warm and well driven car, as I'd just stopped to wave her across the road.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I bet you'd polished that a bit of ice like a scottish curler and had spent at least half an hour circling back to it, stopping each time to wave across potential victims.

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Uncanny. it's almost as though you were there.
I imagine that the effect of turning up at the pub wearing a short, skin tight and hot little black number was somewhat tempered by the addition of two badly skinned knees and a twisted ankle.

Stupid bint.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Scantily clad young ladies
are one of the few things in life that make getting up in the morning worthwhile.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:14, Reply)

She looks like an evil doll

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Here in't Midlands we've got 6 inches of snow
Enough to keep some, but sadly not all fucktards off the roads.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Part of me wants to laugh at you all because we don't shut anything down for just 6 inches of snow
but you don't have the equipment to clear things and I assume not many people have snow tires or experience driving in snow (even here, some people seem to forget how to drive in the snow during the summer and the first storm always gets a lot of cars sliding off of the roads).

Good luck and stay inside if you can. It sounds like you're getting a lot of ice too. Ice is another story and unless you have studded tires, don't even try to drive until the roads have been salted/sanded.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:50, Reply)

My Council didn't plow the roads at all the first time we had proper snow
because prior to that, there hadn't been significant snowfall for so long that nobody could remember where they'd left the ploughs. True story.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Snow tires are very much a rarity here
We're not prepared for this weather, because we haven't had snow like this in 15-20 years (local I mean). Up in the northern wastes of Scotland they might be more prepared, but here we're about as prepared as your average Los Angeles resident.

That said, it doesn't take a genius to quickly learn how to drive more sensibly in the snow.

Round my way the snow's very dry, and won't ice up the roads for a good day or two I reckon. Driving on it today was easier than I expected.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Speak for yourself
it's been a nightmare round here. Not so much for me because I can drive in the snow, but it froze overnight and the roads were like glass going in this morning, with dickheads strewn all across the fucking roads spinning their wheels like fury as if it will somehow help.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:59, Reply)

That sucks :(
The roads here are fine, those that have been gritted/plowed are few and far between, but the snow's just compacted, and hasn't frozen yet.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Nothing has been ploughed or gritted round here either
as best I can tell, but it's so cold the salt wouldn't help anyway. The really busy roads are mostly clear, but the rest have just been busy enough to compact the snow which has then frozen. I live on top of a bloody great hill as well :(
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I got given a days lesson on a skin-pan years ago.
This day of driving on fake ice and learning how to hand-brake turn and all that sort of thing would, you'd imagine, make me quite good at driving in the snow.

As it is, I've got far more confidence than real ability and I'd put money on me crashing if I was driving in these current conditions.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I do actually quite desperately want to do a powerslide on the ice
but I think that would be a really fucking stupid idea and I might die.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:09, Reply)

If you get the chance to have a days training on a skin-pan. Do it.
It was a huge amount of fun.

Powerslides, hand-break turns and learning some crazy move where you reverse at speed and then spin the car 180 before flooring it in the other direction was great.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:11, Reply)

J turn =)

( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:14, Reply)

That's the one!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Awesome
I thought about asking for one of those driving experiences for my birthday, and then I forgot. I might see if I can get my family to club together for it next year, although it's not a 'milestone' birthday so I can't see them going for it, really.. :(
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Promise to show them your boobies

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I keep telling you
my boobs are really not that exciting, and if I show them to my family I am more likely to get sectioned for my birthday than an aston martin driving experience.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:22, Reply)

How about threatening to show them Al's boobs?

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

That would probably be considerably more effective
and terrifying.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Just mail them a link
to one of those 'live views of earth from space' sites, they'll see them soon enough.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:52, Reply)

I did it at Castle Combe years back
Looking on their website now, it looks all sensible and responsible. I don't recall ever having a briefing about cars that are likely to over-steer or a detailed breaking briefing.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:23, Reply)

You need to find a large car park at night.
The missus went to the local Aldis one last year to do just this thing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Even sensible driving on the hills here is inadvisable
but look what lovely people live on those hills

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-12037245

I used to work up there :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Wow. I'm surprised the heleocopter didn't fly above them and scatter them with its downdraft. What
a bunch of fucking idiots.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:06, Reply)

it's that kind of a place

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:09, Reply)

What fucktards

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Ah, Swansea
the only town in which I've witnessed somebody getting threatened with a knife.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:13, Reply)

The graveyard of ambition

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:14, Reply)

The Gower is ace though and it's just round the corner.

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:15, Reply)

^Totally this

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:46, Reply)

South West has had more snow than I can remember it having before
apparently we may well have thunder and lightning tonight.

Fortunately I just picked up my Christmas supply of weed, so I'm all set.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I don't like that thunder/lightning/snow combo shit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:46, Reply)

thunderbolts and lightning?
Very, very frightening.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:49, Reply)

me

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

SIMON MAYOOOOO

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Not the whole south west
for example. I have none at all and can get around with the greatest of ease. Especially as most of the Emmets can't get in due to Devons roads being closed.
( Peej, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

must be bliss!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Dunno, I live in Somerset
The TV says that London is all snowy, but then the TV says a lot of things.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

So is Somerset ok?
Will a parcel I posted this lunchtime get there for Christmas Eve?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:54, Reply)

No, it's all snowy
and we got snowed on this morning
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:01, Reply)

too fucking right we did
but if our parcel doesn't get here by xmas I'll still love you, Roota.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:17, Reply)

There was some right good fortune going on as well
I was hunting in the office for some cardboard with which to fashion a snug casing for the parcel and just sat there was a box, about 3mm all round bigger than your parcel.
No adjustment or bubble-wrap necessary.
How boss is that?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

More than Bruce Springsteen?

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Way more

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

More than a mafia don?

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:26, Reply)

But not as much as The Shamen's drum.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I heard it was so loud it could literally cause any large hill to be transported.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

No way.
move move move ANY large hill?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)

A chap I know
was secretly knobbing the girlfriend one of The Shamen - when he drowned whilst 'high' on 'ecstasy', she gave my pal all of his clothes. Nice woman, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:58, Reply)

You know all the best people Monty.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

well, gold bullion doesn't tend to be very breakable
so it should get here okay...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:58, Reply)

If by 'OK'
you mean 'filled to the brim with slow-witted carrot-crunching yokels' then yes, it's OK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

oy!
be yoo talkin about us down yer?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

It's amazing isn't it?
We managed to hold back the Nazis, yet some snow utterly fucks us over. Imagine if Hitler had had snow cannons, eh?

That said, I took one look out of the window this morning and after witnessing two cars go into spins on the road, thought "Fuck that, I'm working from home today".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)

my goodness
you really are 40
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Yes.
Yes I am. My reluctance to drive was, however, more based on the fact that at least two cars had done their best Torvill and Dean impressions in the space of five minutes. Whilst I am reasonably confident in my own mad driving skillz in this weather, I am less so in the abilities of many of my fellow motorists.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:44, Reply)

This is the thing isn't it
If there weren't so many total cunts around things would be easier, but at 6am this morning i'm driving down a road with snow on it and the cunt behind me was about 1m off my bumper and my ABS kept kicking in.

I got really cross.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Have you tried 'Immodium Plus'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)

For my "Arsehole Boyce Syndrome"?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Symptoms:
looking really hot and schooling all the ladies with your fresh charms?

You haven't got it - I'm certain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)