Tut tut.
Perusing Google news today I see:

1. MP for Barnsley Central about to go down for fraud
2. MP for Bury already sent down for fraud
3. A Rochdale paedo grooming gang
4. A Newcastle rapist policeman

You northerners really are a charming and honest bunch aren’t you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:12, 173 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Monty WINS!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Monty wins everything.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Lampito comes second.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:16, Reply)

if at all

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Aww Noel.
♥
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:19, Reply)

After he's left.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Yeah, we are!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:16, Reply)

And most of you poor and live on 'ot pot'?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I'll give you a moment to read that and try again

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:17, Reply)

It's German, I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I took that moment and used it to spunk in your mum

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:20, Reply)

She said it only takes a moment.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I had my fun and that's all that matters.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:21, Reply)

"Women are playthings, mere tools towards my ejaculatory fulfilment" quoth Bobby

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:23, Reply)

'Women' is a bit exclusive I wouldn't want to offend anyone.
maybe we can alter the criteria slightly.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Well,
he-llo...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I was hoping you'd say exactly this

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:32, Reply)

You will tell me if I'm getting predictable, won't you?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Of course, dear boy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Hotpot is fucking tasty, I'll have you know.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:17, Reply)

They keep warm by raping children oop thurr.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Or raping the tax payer, or raping 'vulnerable women'
Lorra lorra rape oop north.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:19, Reply)

they love it
and ask for it by wearing such sexy tracksuits.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Well, who could turn down
an orange bird wearing pink velour?
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:24, Reply)

not me for one,
which is why i like you so much.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I was hoping to get white knighted by someone who'd met me
but apparently not. Sadly for you I do not actually fit these two criteria.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Oh no.
There goes another dream.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)

We cook them too.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:19, Reply)

an' oop t'other as well

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Some
but most of us can at least construct a sentence that makes sense...
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:18, Reply)

ey oop me dook, aym goon down jitty tuh shops

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I believe that both the north and the south have disowned Derby
Unlucky.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:24, Reply)

it's because they're shit and shag sheep.
I'm from Notts
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I'm not from Derby
I'm a member of the Sussex massive, selecta and all that, what what.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Hardly a vast improvement!
but no wonder local girls tell you you're well spoken...
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I say!
East Sussex I'll have you know and none of that filthy bumming from the Brighton side
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Testify.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:26, Reply)

fycles
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:31, Reply)

You've obviously got balls on the brain.
brain chin
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Office lol

( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Aye, we're fucking ace.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Happy Candlebum!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Thank you!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:21, Reply)

But I don't understand
how paedo rings can operate in the North. Wouldn't any nonce have his bits nipped by the kid's ferret? They all keep their ferrets in their trousers, you know.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:18, Reply)

You love me really.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:20, Reply)

on the radio this morning I heard that 42 of our 48 states are calling for bad weather
*facepalm*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Is Bad Weather popular?

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:24, Reply)

This is one of those sentences
where I understand all of the words, but none of the meaning.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I wouldn't think so.
edit: my point was that we have 50 states
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Not anymore
I stole Hawaii and destroyed California last night.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

my uncle lives in california, you twat
now how am I ever going to run away and live with him in his tent in yosemite national park?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Is it Yosemite that's on the gigantic world-ending volcano
or is that Yellowstone?
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Yellowstone

(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:41, Reply)

jellystone

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:49, Reply)

See also
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-12160029 pikeys nicking cables
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-12145585 kids so fat they're going to die
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

The North in Still Suffering From Victorian Illnesses Shocker!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-12159710
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

And yes, Birmingham is in the North
if you live in Surrey.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Birmingham is NOT NORTH

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Yes it is.
"the Midlands" is a term for the sourthern part of the North. The people are poor and talk funny. It's the North.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:31, Reply)

The people are idiots, and talk funny. It's the South.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

The Midlands are the Belgium of Britain.
Made up from parts neither side want.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:35, Reply)

...and, coincidentally enough, full of superb beer.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:38, Reply)

If you have to drink to dull the anguish
you'd just as well do it properly.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:39, Reply)

The Midlands are full of superb beer?

(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I can think of numerous superb pints I've had from breweries in Derby, Nottingham and Leicester.
Can't think of one in Brum just at the moment, though there probably is one, and it was, years ago, home to the Ansell's brewery, which was my father's favourite back in the day.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Oh....okay
*nods bewilderedly*
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Sorry, some would suggest I have "researched" beer in a little too much detail.
(And aren't you a cider drinker anyway?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Yes, mainly
I just didn't know the Midlands had a reputation for making good beer.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:49, Reply)

It's a fair point - they make good beer but they probably don't have a reputation.
I think it's just a national thing, whereby for some reason we're not proud of our best breweries, unlike Belgium, Germany, Ireland, etc.

So the only region which is likely to have such a reputation is Yorkshire, and that's simply because it's brewed by bloody-minded Yorkshiremen who will have furthered its reputation themselves (though Yorkshire beer is, on the whole, also very good).
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Are you a Hobgoblin fan, Crow?
I was given a bottle last night, and am rather pleased about it, although the last time I had it, it was a terrible pint.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Love the stuff. Generally a big fan of the Wychwood brewery.
Bad pint, you say? You sure it wasn't just the end of the barrel or a dirty line? Hobgoblin is a superb beer, but as you can probably imagine, when anything that strongly flavoured goes off, it really goes off. A good pint of the stuff, drawn off the cask at approximately 10-12^o into a clean glass, is an absolute delight.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

More likely to be a dirty line, it wasn't a very good pub at all, even though it claimed to be.
Shall crack that open tonight I reckon.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Oh, the number of pubs I've been lured into by the chalkboard promise of
"Superb real ales," only to wander in and find a lonely Courage Best pump clip adorning a dusty hand pump...

Still, enjoy!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Erm...
I quite like Courage Best
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

It's alright. It's certainly drinkable.
I just wouldn't have listed it amongst the country's finest, particularly not since S&N-or-whoever-owns-the-brewery-now started using rice as an adjunct to keep production costs down.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Officially it's Scottish Courage
or at least, it was. It may have changed hands again since my dad died, but he used to work there. And yes, you do get free beer.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

^This has strengthened any desires I might have harboured to insist that my scientific background would
make me invaluable to...well, any London brewery that will take me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

there are some good breweries, yep.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)

That second link... jeez... 23 stone at 16?!
She looks older than that by far.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Tell it to the judge.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Re: the latter
Ooh, I smell organ-harvesting shenanigans!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Also it brings to mind a Viz 'Top Tip' from years ago
"Trying to lose weight? Avoid giving into the temptation to 'just have that little bit of cake/biscuit/packet of crisps that you've been hiding in the cupboard' by not buying the fucking thing in the first place."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Alright Monty
Neither Tesco nor Sainsburys had poppadoms
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Still, at least we can afford decent sized houses
have pleasant neighbours, don't have to put up with public transport that fails in half a millimetre of slush and don't get shot in the street.

Except in Manchester, of course.

Edit - and weren't the Rochdale lot mostly Pakistani? That's hardly Northern, unless they are from Kashmir.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:40, Reply)

You only avoid gun crime 'cause knives are cheaper.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:41, Reply)

bollocks. My knives were seriously expensive.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Initially they were sure, with a five fingered discount though.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I don't know about you southern inbreds, but as a general rule
the human race has 4 fingers on each hand.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:47, Reply)

I'm Irish, it's an acceptable phrase don't try and get off on a technicality!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)

So, you're not southern then?
so what are you bleating on about?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I've lived in Bristol for most of my life so am siding with the South.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I seriously doubt those people banging on about the south on here
would count Bristol. The north-south divide is a convenient diagonal to southerners. Funny accents, you see, in Brizzle, they wouldn't trust you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Well the woman who adopted me is from Manchester and it's grim up there.
Bristol definitely counts it's brilliant.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Oh do fuck off
You go to uni in Newport for god's sake - that place is eleventy times more grim than Manchester and you know it.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Caerleon Campus. It's lovely and quaint.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Only bits of Manchester
some of it is quite nice.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Well yeah if you split it up, Man as a race is alright and I've been to Chester, not bad.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I know
I'm just contractually obliged to find an exception, and it has got an interesting gun crime record. Nothing on, say, SE london or Luton mind you.

In fact, it doesn't matter how fucking good the rest of the south east is, it could be paved wall-to-wall in gold supermodels with lines of finest Bolivian ripe for snorting, it's still got Luton in it, which by association lowers it to the level of Mogadishu.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Luton's in the North.
You see, Oop North consists of basically everything north of Gloucester and Cambridge, with a salient just up from London that contains Bedford and Luton.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)

haha, nice try
you don't get out of it that easily. That doesn't get you out of Reading, Slough and Bracknell either.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Ah, you have me on those three.
Still nowhere's perfect, not even the South.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Croydon is worse than Luton, surely?
I've not been to either to be fair, nor do I plan to...but I don't think I've ever heard anything other than hatred expressed for Croydon.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Seriously, nothing is worse than Luton
and, as I've said before, I've lived in Slough, Bracknell and Dalston.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Christ, I'm so sorry
reading that was worse than reading about a bereavement.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I wouldn't mind
but it still costs a fucking fortune to buy houses there. It used to astound me that the south-east is so completely bollocksed that people will pay a fortune to live somewhere that you wouldn't even raise rats, let alone children, given half the chance.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

^ TRUFAX
My old housemate once said that if he could get the money together he might seriously have considered buying the house where we used to live in Elephant and Castle.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Christ, I thought I'd had it bad
Skelmersdale, then Congleton.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

But have you been to...
Milton Keynes?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I can't read that name now without thinking of Bill Bailey's talk about Marilyn Manson playing there...
I think this is it...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

i've got to go on a site visit to some crumbling offices there in a week or so *shudder*
and then we have a load of property agents from there coming for a seminar and drinks in april. what if they get to london and see how cool it is and NEVER LEAVE?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

They will leave
eventually anyone with a grain of sense leaves. London loses its appeal as you get older.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

My Dad used to say
"If you get to 40 and have never lived in London, you have no life. If you still live in London after turning 40, you have no soul."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I quite like that

(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

london is amazing
but i am no lifer. i miss cheshire.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

The best thing about Cheshire is the fact I live there.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

One of the many pearls of wisdom he's come out with

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

when are you moving down there?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I left at 30.
But I'd been there since I was 17.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

*checks Chompy isn't looking*
MK isn't that bad. It's odd and dull and kind of Stepford Wives-y and I wouldn't chose to live there, but at least it's not actively unpleasant and you aren't constantly at risk of various forms of crime.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Exactly. It's pretty harmless.
It's just a bit shit and dull and I...hang on, this sounds familiar...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:09, Reply)

i just don't like new buildings, i think they look soulless
welwyn garden city is one of the worst places i have ever been
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I know what you mean
There is something about a lot of modern architecture which just seems to be perpetually bland and functional. Either that or it goes in completely the opposite direction and looks crass and vulgar.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I like some modern architecture
but what really looks awful is when they try to get a new building to blend in by copying an older style. I don't know why but it never seems to work.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

because they use cheaper tackier materials
and everything is done by machine, not by hand.

[says the expert in architecture and construction law.]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I'm not sure they could really build them the same way
even if they did do it all by hand with the same materials. I'm guessing that building regs weren't all that when most period houses were built.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I SAW!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I'll go back to calling it a fucking shitehole in public, don't you worry.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

My family come from Croydon, I'm the only one to have been born in the North.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)

It shows.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)

In all the best ways

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I'm flabbergasted at this tirade about the place where I live.
Luton is an anthropologist's dream. Bedfordshire's petri dish.

Still, better than Dunstable.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Is it really?
I've never been to Dunstable. Well, not for long enough to notice. I'm almost intrigued, now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

It certainly is better than Dunstable.
For a number of reasons. I'll think of some soon.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I picked up another A today Monty.
An A14 to be exact so low, but still an A.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I was so inpired by this thread I wrote it a theme tune...
There once was a lad from up north
Who decided he wanted a porche
But he took his Giro
And went off to Cairo
So now he has nowt but a divorce.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)

There once was a lad from up north
Who decided he wanted a porche
so he stole one.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:49, Reply)

mind you, he could at least spell "Porsche"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)

copy and paste did me!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I didn't actually see it in the first post, so fair enough.
still poor teacher practice, though .. ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Hahaha I saw it and couldn't be arsed to change it
I feel very bad now! I'm very unb3tan in that regard.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Having not owned one
Makes one exempt from the vagaries of the spelling thereof.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:09, Reply)

At least we're not Londoners
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12102983
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12123639
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12102790

Gun nuts, the lot of them.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)

i am very conflicted, here
i am of course a northerner. but i've lived in london half my life. what does that make me? i feel so displaced.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)

A traitor?
EDIT: A rather friendly and wonderful traitor whose help I really appreciated.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Unwanted?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

SCUM

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Coming from somebody who has previously claimed to be Irish
this is a bit fucking rich.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

On a par with Al

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

fucking zing.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

fucking hell
what did i ever do to you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Bloody immigrant

(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)

don't worry
i don't do south of the river, you're quite safe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I should update that really
I'm in Germany. Although technically that's still south.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

you're all bloody Northerners
filthy scumbags
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Southern twats!!
With your beards and croissants!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I'll get Clendrix to come in here and call you Northern...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I'll get a penguin to come in here and call her Northern

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

That would be quite an impressive feat...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Clenders would stomp all of the blood out of that tuxedo'd beaky twat

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I am no longer speaking to you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Having met myself
I can confirm that I am both charming and honest.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I read that as...
"having shat myself". A second read made more sense.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

You've obviously been living in Germany
for far too long.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

it would have been very honest of her to admit she'd just shat herself.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)

And as charming as Chompy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

"you had me at 'shat myself'"

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I'm rolling back on that social experiment
bitches be trippin
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:53, Reply)

I'm glad you took the time to re-read it.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Lucky I did.
Because it's usually the first impressions that last longest. Stinky.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Lucky indeed!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Howay man divn't dee that there's only three of wah

(TheColonel, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

ugh you people talk a lot of shit
I am going to construct the B3ta Believability Vs Boredom Rate System.

A one means I believe your story but it's fucking dull (see: All light in chains posts), a two is I can't believe how much you talk about yourself, like seriously. It's all the fucking time and I really don't care(see: All LAAK posts), three awarded to people I probably do like a small amount but have to believe they embelish most if not all their posts just a little bit to make them fun to read(see: ha as if I like anyone on here), fours go to people that have a story for everything and always know someone who did that, or think they're so cool because they do massive drugs (see: all Monty's posts) and a five is wow you flew a fighter jet to the south pole? That is so freeking awesome. Wow can I sleep with you please?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

You're just upset that I fucked your mum

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 15:44, Reply)