Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Jeff, it turns out, is an 'African Bum Cleaner'.What utterly expected and not in the least bit surprising news have YOU had of late?
Alt: I'm in a Pink Floyd tribute band with some other octogenarian inbreds when I'm not boffing a model which IS NOT VERY OFTEN I CAN TELL YOU. I think we need a new name - can you help? Free TITS in my lapdancing emporium for the best entry.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:40,
152 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
At the topI've got nothing else to contribute, soz
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
Hi TGB!Are you okay? What are you up to this weekend? Are you doing anything fun?
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:58, Reply)
hahahaWhereas Monty has been revealed to be 'Skill' which the internet suggests is some form of African bum disease.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:45,
Reply)
I may go out weekend after next.I haven't decided yet.
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girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
Manchester.With my little sis and her pal. I'll see how I feel nearer the time.
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girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:16,
Reply)
Making a night of it as well as a day of it?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:19,
Reply)
Yup!I should go out in the evening but I don't want to cramp their style.
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girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
You should go out and trip the light-fantastic.Show 'em how it's done.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
I'm tempted but I'll see nearer the time if I can be bothered.(
girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:29,
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Go on. Treat yourself to a night out.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:31,
Reply)
He who smelt it, dealt it, Jeff.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
You appear to be saying the rhyme.Conclusive evidence, if it is even needed, that you did the crime.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:55,
Reply)
Stop it.I'm trying to eat and you're making me laugh.
I'll bet this was you at some fancy dress party when you were a child.
www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=261
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:58,
Reply)
I actually adore the last line of the last one.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:01,
Reply)
How I wish with all my heart that I could have seen that.My brother did paint a seven-foot high mural of the Grim Reaper wearing a swastika armband on his bedroom wall when he was about TWELVE though.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:02,
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The Boyce Brothers'The School Years'
www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=6166
www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=5184
www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=712
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:16,
Reply)
The 50p coin trick is my favourite.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:19,
Reply)
That my sort-of-chilli is fucking magnificent.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:47,
Reply)
rhyming slang for 'sordid willy'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
It stinks very highly of shit.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:13,
Reply)
Chilli made without kidney beans or proper garlic(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:13,
Reply)
That men are dicks and bitches be crazy.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:51,
Reply)
-accepts-Surprisingly, my friend was lamenting the former and I the latter.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:56,
Reply)
I've only just realised that your flatmates b3ta name is related to her surnameI just assumed she was a big fan of Pokemon.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:57, Reply)
And she has flame-red hair!(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:00,
Reply)
...Have you ever seen anyone with hair that colour naturally?
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:03,
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Nobut I've never seen an Inuit either, and I'm not doubting their existence.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:06, Reply)
What?For asking about her flatmates hair colour? Why does that cause me to be considered a "bloke"?
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:09, Reply)
becauselovely looking though she is, any girl looking at the pics of that bash would never ever ask if the colour is natural!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
i fucking love this typoplease don't amend it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
Click you fools, like you've never clicked before!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
i didi clicked three times and everything.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:21,
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Massive hearty 'lol' at this(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:19,
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if it's not unexpected and not surprisingis it really NEWS?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:52,
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unexpected and unsurprisingmust be married-life sex then.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:00,
Reply)
No, that's just an urban myth.The existence of married life sex that is.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:01, Reply)
hahawell done, that made me laugh. which did hurt my head, but it was worth it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:03,
Reply)
Personally I don't find it that amusing.Still, I've got that nice new photo to keep me occupied, and the new Bravissimo catalogue arrived yesterday.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:07, Reply)
you are absolutely forbiddento wank over that photo.
because i look dreadful in it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:09,
Reply)
if i know youand i think i do, nothing short of a 15 car pile up outside your house and bodies flying through the window would put you off your stroke.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:15,
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Nah, you don't know meI require at least a look of bored resignation. But looking actively grumpy doesn't do it for me at all.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:19, Reply)
you asked me to show you how hungover and ill i was lookingunsurprisingly this also makes me pretty feckin grumpy!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
You don't have to apologise for not sending me a wank worthy photographAs you have pointed out, I am married and I wasn't actually after anything to knock one out to. I just wanted to laugh at you looking horrifically ill. But you didn't, so I couldn't.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:23, Reply)
i can't believe you don't think i am wank-worthyfucking hell al, that's really low
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:42,
Reply)
Some of your facebook shots are definitely wank worthybut this mornings just isn't cutting the mustard. I'm sorry Swipey, don't take it personally, everyone has an off moments.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
so you're sayingi shouldn't send it to the boy as i want him to continue wanting to bone me senseless?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:53,
Reply)
No, don't send that one, but if you were to angle the camera down slightlyundo your top button and pout your lips a bit more I'm sure you'd be onto a winner.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)
i'm not wearing buttons today thoughjust a slightly slutty scoop necked top.
i could press my elbows together to deepen the cleavage (like it needs it, sadly) but then how would i take the shot??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 14:00,
Reply)
alt: Comfortably Dumbor The Grand Monty's Garden Party, depending on how obscure you'd like to be
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:52,
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Meddle(some kids down the road, you'd never have got away with that sort of behaviour back in my day)(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
Not NEWS, but fact.England is the only country in the world that races dogs. In Denmark they race pigs. It is after all the home of bacon. In South Africa they race Ostriches.
Can you please add examples of other animals that are raced around the world?
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:56, Reply)
Jeff is the only cunt on here that rapes dogs.Not NEWS, but fact.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:58,
Reply)
Excuse me,I didn't research that statement in the slightest so I may indeed be wrong.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:00, Reply)
The internet has no place for facts.Books serve that purpose perfectly adequately.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:14, Reply)
YOU BOY!*Laughs as Monty gets bullied by Bronson, just like what happened to Ant Jones*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:28,
Reply)
My friend Matwas at school with a boy who left his wet swimming kit in his locker over the holidays, and when the new term started there were millions of ants in his locker - from then on he was known as 'Ant Jones'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:31,
Reply)
Australia race WallabiesAlthough there was controversy in 1997 when the winner was claimed to be a kangeroo
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:59,
Reply)
I'd imagine dogs are raced in every country in the world, in a commercial sense there's probably upwards of ten countries that host such eventsFACT
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:00,
Reply)
I wouldn't go there, then, if I were you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
They're right dorty fuckers there, nothing would surprise me(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:06,
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I don't particularly like to hear what Maximinimus' girlfriend is wearingbut he decided I and everyone who's friends with him on facebook should know his girlfriend is naked.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:02, Reply)
I wonder how he reacts online to the inevitable break-upSwathes of emo tearful postings
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
I can only aspire to your levels of creepyness(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
Marginally less upsetting than him telling you that he's naked.In a gaz, with photographic proof.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
Oh god, for the first time in my life, I've gone through a stranger's photos on facebook (abit, for like 30 seconds), and I feel weird.What happens now, do I add her as a "friend" and.... oh, wait, I've come up with a potential good zing.
CHOMPY, HOW MANY FEMALE FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE ON FACEBOOK?..... FRIEND ZONE'D ! ZING !
It would be better with Mortal, but no one here knows him.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:25,
Reply)
ask him how many he's actually met in real lifeand how many he has added after seeing them on other people's fb's.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
What's that monty? Do you know something that the rest of the class doesn't? Please do share, I would hate not to know.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
He's got no more than two inches, from what I could see.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:23,
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Yeh', but when that makes up 75%, it's a big differance.You might be able to afford to lose two inches, but I sure can't.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:28,
Reply)
It's what you do with it that counts, anyway.My mum told me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
FFS!We know he's lost loads of weight.
We know he can now get girlfriends.
We know that some of them will get nekkid with him.
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girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
We know he wears an 8-year-old girl's hoody to bashes.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:09,
Reply)
Why the fuck would you be on facebook when you have a naked girl in bed?FFS.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
:(That's doubly insulting to me.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:18,
Reply)
I'm very sorry.I promise to make it up to you by buying you an alcoholic beverage next time I see you.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)
And I'll stroke your fat ripples and insult you.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
Oh lol, I was going to make that exact same joke but I deleted it because I couldn't finish it off./ac
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
Magnificent,this is a front-runner for rizzeal.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:08,
Reply)
is there some form of ingrediant that they specifically put in wine that makes you want to do the dirty, apologise to people you don't actually give a fuck about, and want to text your ex?It isn't surprising because it seems to be what happens every_fucking_time I drink wine
/hangovers
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
I get the raging horn on red wine.One of the reasons I've stopped drinking it.
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girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:19,
Reply)
I don't really get the horn, but I seem to be out on the prowl when I drink itlike 'oh, I could fuck anyone I want to, I've got it like that'
um...no you don't Kristine
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
you're top of the popular page nowterrible bullying by monty and al.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
Yep I sawI didn't actually notice the typo then b3ta went mental for a few minutes so I'll just leave it as it is.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Drink moreOr inject intravenously. Both methods work equally well.
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)
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