I bet the wasabi looks lovely against her porcelain skin
*creepy chompys*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:34, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Haha, I'll show her that.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:35, Reply)

she must be the only teenage female student on here that he hasn't hit on yet
but then again, she's new, give him chance!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:41, Reply)

What, Al or Chompy?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:41, Reply)

both?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Fuck off knockerlicious
I don't hit on girls on the internet, I'm happily married.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

To a woman who's far better than you are
I don't believe I tell you this enough.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Everyone on the internet who has met her
tells me this regularly. I'm starting to get a complex.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:48, Reply)

There is nothing complex about you.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

And your wife is much better than you

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

They've both met her.
...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

ORLY?
ok, let me guess:

al went for the subtle approach, by talking about porking her over the lamb chops.

meanwhile psychochomp went for the even more subtle approach, waiting until she was nowhere in sight before announcing disingenuously to the entire table, "it's funny that she's single isn't it? i mean, i really can't understand why she could be single..."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I was so subtle
I sat on a different table and spent the whole evening talking to my wife, Clenders and Supermatt.

She couldn't resist me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:48, Reply)

funny
that's not what i was told after the event. not at all.

you sick little man.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

But you did ask me to say
"My mate fancies you, he's behind you right now NO DON'T LOOK!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Are you getting your trainee to take notes?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

well, no
it didn't exactly seem to be a successful approach, so i told him not to bother replicating it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I meant so you have some more ammo for your Rswipe V PsychoChomp Jihad.
It's really quite flattering.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

oh, fab.
don't worry, i already have plenty of ammo, but thanks for the suggestion.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I would have hit on her if you didn't keep telling me not to rape people/things.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:47, Reply)

on and dragged her off into an alleyway
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:00, Reply)

better than your cave smegol.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Tell her to use lotion afterwards
Or else she'll get the hose again
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:38, Reply)

This is terrible bullying.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Hi guys!

(Charmander, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:41, Reply)

'afternoon

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

You're ugly and I hate you

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Is the answer things that Chompys ex girlfriends have said?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Quite possibly.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

What, like
"How did I wake up here? Is that...Milton Keynes Central?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

That would be a funny list.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Say that to my face, bitch.
(She totally can as well, we're sitting right next to each other)
(Charmander, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I can totally "waaaaaay" your breasts as well.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Terrible faux-lesboticon male baiting ONLINE

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I have the facility to disprove POIDH

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Even more male baiting
You're worse than Swipey describing a new bra purchase, Kitty describing poledancing or Applebite talking.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:48, Reply)

No references to my special history skills eh?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:22, Reply)

YOUR BREASTS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Not in the library, not in the library.
Unless you want to take a break and go to "that" room. Eh? Eh?
(Charmander, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Screw you both. Do it here.
I want a show.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I like this so much more than you can ever know
actually, you do know.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Yeah I do.
Now stop distracting me, you horrible beast.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

BREASTS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Or, as a Welsh chum would have it,
RAGGEDY CLUNGE.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

YES ! SCORE ONE FOR THE CREEPY LURKER !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)

The true extent of my creepiness can't be discussed until after the watershed.

(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Be sure to numb the area first...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Oh I only just got what you were referring to there.
No pictures of that. Only for my "special" drive.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Hacked it.
Super boring.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)

"Special" drive?
Do you mean the Sunshine Bus?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)

My W:// or whatever the correct way of saying it is

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Well, I've never heard it called that before...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I heard it from here.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Wankbank?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Correct!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

W:
no need for slashes.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

That looks like a Jedward smiley.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:57, Reply)

W:D

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I love that joke.
Also the one about being able to guess your bra size by holding them or I'll give you a pound, then squeeze them, think a while and give them a pound.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Round here we call that 'molestation'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I managed to perform it on her, completely unexpectedly
in front of a load of people I'd only just met.

Said people were witnesses to me a few weeks later vomitting on a table.
LOL
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Hahaha!
Smooth.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

This was during the yellow-haired phase
to make everything SO much better.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Classy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Traumatic

(Charmander, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Peurile

(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Puerile.
You fucking idiot. From puer pueri.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Cool story, bro

(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

NO U
oh shit we're doing THIS again aren't we
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:56, Reply)

A CAT IS FINE TOO
You started it
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:57, Reply)

We're totally going to get B& from the library here.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:57, Reply)

OH NOES! IT'S THE IRL PERMABANHAMMER!
OH SHI-
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I despair of both of us.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Me too.
But it was totally your fault, you horrible clungemuffin.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Fuck off, dicknose

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:01, Reply)

You suck at insults.
And my willy.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I think I threw up a little in my mouth.
YOU CUNT*

*I'm using your official term because I'm cross with you.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Is that right?
You should have seen it coming.
(Omnizor Spooning bits of road for breakfast., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:06, Reply)

What, that funny-smelling stuff that old women leave in dishes around their house?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Ooh, that's good.
It's doing well to distract me from this essay on the study of hideous old women.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Have you ever done that one where you follow her home and then rent out a room across the street and wait for her to leave the house....
... and then sneak in while she's out and rearrange all her shoes so the left shoe is on the right hand side and the right shoe is on the left hand side of the pare... so she doesn't notice that you've stollen one of her socks?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Hi!
*unzips trousers*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

+ waterproof

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I turned down the opportunity to get a whole new set of waterproof gear recently

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Holy shit, why?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Nothing wrong with my current set is there!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:47, Reply)

You mean apart from the gaping hole you cut out of the arse of the trousers.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

hi sexy

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

No, Al, no no no, you're a married man, a happily married man, you are not allowed to ask when she's next coming out with us...
... lot under the pretence of a bet to see exactly how far Chompy and Supermatt's tounges can fall out of their mouths. Unless you bring a meter stick.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:50, Reply)

why would anyone want to see that?
this is up there with POD's obsession with your guts following the Lychee Incident!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)