Chop chop - I've not got all day
Convince me that you're not a drooling internet obsessive.

I need to sleep soon so I'm needing answers PDQ.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:20, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have hiccups : (

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Lie down and hold your breath.
If you're not in a public place.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:29, Reply)

if you are in a public place
fart out the national anthem
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Whilst mumbling the words with hand gestures
We have a Royal Wedding (TM) this year.

Perfect your act and you could make a fortune.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:39, Reply)

I have had a great evening.
or at least, I think I have. i'm drunk, see, and i'm not entirety sure I can work my phone. predictive text eh? it's good stuff. I have had am amazing evening dancing like a total idiot. I should probably sober up now though.
(berk, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 2:34, Reply)

One of my photos on Flickr
Gets top billing on Google if you search for something reasonably obscure. I feel like a rockstar or something.

edit: Wait, this is pretty much the exact opposite of what I'm meant to be proving.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:24, Reply)

i'm also a larper?
that doesn't help really does it?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:24, Reply)

If you wish to have your embarrasment halved
I'm building a model railway. Not on the internet.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:41, Reply)

nice
although I suspect the only thing less socially acceptable than larp is furries
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:44, Reply)

I get quite embarrased by my lack of geekiness.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

You're just not a geek
I think you've got to accept this.

It may be a bitter pill to swallow but - you're normal.

Sorry to break this to you.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

harsh

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

*sobs*
I've tried so hard.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:53, Reply)

You watched Star Trek with me quite happily when I visited.
I'd say you're not *entirely* normal.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

But the new one's a fairly mainstream film
If it was one of the old ones, then I'd agree with you.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:57, Reply)

it was old re-runs on telly.
it was gooooooood.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

This is clearly a lie
Unless it's Shatner, it's shit.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

I don't know who it was.
I just enjoy Star Trek.
It had Picard in it, if that helps. And Wesley Crusher and his mum.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Patrick Stewart
Baldy twat that he is.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:02, Reply)

FACT: Patrick Stewart grew up in the next town to where I live.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

This doesn't bode well for you

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:07, Reply)

His nephew is one of my drivers.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:12, Reply)

I got told off by a student for trying to do a patrick stewart impression
he'd decided to refer to me as 'Captain' for the lesson so when he asked to go to the library I said "make it so"

Would have been better if I taught textiles and he was asking to use the sewing machines
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

pfffft.
I just spat my mouthful of apple out laughing at that you git.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:06, Reply)

:D

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:07, Reply)

i'm going to be giggling at that for a few hours...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:10, Reply)

next gen

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:03, Reply)

shatner rules
voices.washingtonpost.com/blog-post/2011/02/william_shatner_adds_metal_alb.html
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Thank you.
It's my lack of computer game skillz that let me down.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

I used to game - I don't anymore.
So I'm just as bad.
Although I nearly "relieved someone of their command due to being unfit for duty" on thursday.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:59, Reply)

Not sure about that, I do something that's on a par with satanism in some parts of society.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

WoW?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

which is?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Read the Daily Mail?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

On the contrary, it's usually the Daily Mail types who get ragey about it.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:51, Reply)

you're a paedo?!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

You're an immigrant claiming benefits in a council house?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Fucking Polish people....
going over there, stealing your jobs..
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:56, Reply)

OMG homololz.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

You're an estate agent?

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:51, Reply)

I do have some morals, you know.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Spill the beanz Woodside
I've admitted to my model railway building.

How low can you go?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Well, some folk are a bit funny about it.
www.b3tards.com/u/67615eca21eb89f9a48a/jun07.jpg
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:12, Reply)

You're a tranny.
I love trannies.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:14, Reply)

alright The Disappointed
I don't have any proof, sorry.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:33, Reply)

1) Do you live somewhere like Spain
2) Where the hell did you get Irn Bru somewhere like Spain?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

1) No, unless Spain is located about halfway between Dewsbury and Bradford.
2) Not a clue. Never been to mainland Spain.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Well, that clears up most of my confusion
Although now I'm confused about why I thought you were there.

Worth trying: cider-bru. Half Irn-Bru, and half apple Magners.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Oh my god.
Still, it can't be as bad as unsweetened tea, blackcurrant squash and rum, which proved to be so unspeakably awful I dubbed it Guantánamo Tea.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:51, Reply)

It's surprisingly good
And the colours match pretty well too.

Would Guantánamo Thé not be better?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Mmm, latvian tea!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

Alright TD?
Who is your celebrity lookalike?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:37, Reply)

I have been accused
Of looking like Robin Williams.

That ain't good, is it?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Nah!
I can't see it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Good
We'll go for Elephant Man then. I feel more comfortable with that.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Now you're being self-depreciating.
That's my job.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

You make your value reduce?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

I don't get much chance these days so give me a break, eh?
I'm just an average middle aged slightly overweight guy with a good taste in expensive shirts, right?!

And my lodger has decided that I should go on an internet dating site.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

What happened to the last one?

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:56, Reply)

She found me a little difficult.
It takes a special person to listen to me droning on about the weaknesses of General George MacLellan prolonging the American Civil War.

I need a deaf mute with low expectations and big tits.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

haha!
Shouldn't be too hard to find in Bradford.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:01, Reply)

I live on the other side
I'm proving surprisingly attractive on the dating site. Despite giving the most evil profile I could think of and using a photo that looks like I'm a demented abbatoir worker hoping to extend his skills to a wider field.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:10, Reply)

Woo! hot stuff, who do you think you are.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:12, Reply)

Regrettably
I know who I am.

Either there's a lot of really desperate women out there or I've not conveyed in my profile how loathsome I really am.

There's even a photo of me on there. That should be enough to curdle milk but they keep on coming.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:17, Reply)

i think internet dating just proves that people in general like a broader range of folk
than Tv gives them credit for. I'm a fat divorced larper and even I get messages

edit: wait, that sounded like some kind of insult. I didn't mean it like that, sorry
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:19, Reply)

OKCupid used to have an interesting post up about why paid internet dating was bad
then they got bought by match.com and it mysteriously disappeared.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:21, Reply)

Don't get me started on fucking dating sites.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:25, Reply)

i spend way too long on there
I like the attention
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:26, Reply)

Give over!
I just wish I had your pulling power.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:20, Reply)

Mine is a young Daniel Day-Lewis.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Are we talking My left foot?

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

Ha!
No. Just the whole high cheekbones, pretty green eyes, dark hair, brooding thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Pwhoar!

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Well, I say 'young'
I'm 31.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

That's young enough for me.
A bit too young.

Besides, I don't want to upset Fiona.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:07, Reply)

It's alright, she knows she's just my plaything.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:13, Reply)

I dunno.
She's well ard, innit.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:16, Reply)

No, I am, when she's around.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:18, Reply)

I'm drinking a fairly expensive Barolo
because I finished the not-quite-so-expensive Rioja and wasn't ready to stop drinking.

Did you know that chimps share 98% of our DNA? Probably.
But did you know a 1994 study of German and Belgian families revealed that some genetic lines that walk around just as you and me are actually closer to the chimpanzee baseline than the homo sapiens?

Apparently a dislike for red wine is the key discriminator. Just saying.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Not me then.
Gulps Valpolicella.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

*opposable thumbs up*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:57, Reply)

I just watched Mr Nice. It wasn't half bad.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Well if it has someone that looks like Jeffthedogfucker in it then is should be fantastic.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

The reviews are shite and I don't usually like drug films
but it was entertaining and quite charming.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:12, Reply)

You are Monty on Ecstasy AICMFP.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:14, Reply)

Yo T to the D
I got that interview. Which rail company is it you work for?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:26, Reply)

I work for a bus company
But I know people.

York or Leeds?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:44, Reply)

York.
But the selection event is in Leeds.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:47, Reply)

City House then
Narrows it down a little bit.

I don't know anybody on the side you're going for but if you get it you're well in.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 0:18, Reply)

I AM A HORSE

(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:47, Reply)

WORST OF ALL THE ANIMALS.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 23:48, Reply)

GET CLIP-CLOPPED

(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 0:06, Reply)

POPPIN' BOTTLES IN THE ICE, LIKE A BLIZZARD
WHEN WE DRINK WE DO IT RIGHT, GETTIN' SLIZZERED
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 0:09, Reply)

I JUST WON $600
which would be much better if I hadn't lost $600 on Thursday.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 0:25, Reply)

Alright benders
I'm just back from my night out.

If you're still awake and have a question. I'll answer it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 1:36, Reply)